Grandma is still hanging on

My grandmother is still hanging on.  Hospice is there around the clock, and my sister has basically moved in.  My aunt is there each day, and I was up Wednesday evening and most of yesterday.  At one point yesterday, the nurse gathered us and said he hadn't breathed in two minutes, but my aunt took her hand and she breathed again.  Last evening, my sister and I sat by her bed, mostly in silence, and the nurse told us it would be anytime.  It was heart wrenching listening to my sister tell Grandma it was okay to go, and that she could go see Grandpa and my dad, as well as Uncle Bill (her brother) and Aunt Margie (her sister).  I kept sitting there praying God would help her let go and asking for his mercy.

The nurses have decided it is best if we don't sit in with her, unless it is something we feel strongly about.  I'm not making the trip up today, and my sister and aunt are hanging out in a different room.  I won't lie.  This really is awful.  I am praying again that Grandma passes peacefully.

The beginning of September

Today is September 1, but it feels more like July or August.  The heat index is near 100 all week, which means we were able to postpone our school picnic that was supposed to be held on Thursday.  We are already wilting, and two more days of this isn't going to be helpful.

It was also seventy-six years ago today that my paternal grandparents were married.  Today, my grandmother is lying in a bed in her assisted living home.  Hospice has been called in, and they believe my grandmother is actively dying (such an ironic phase).  My aunt has been there all day, my sister will stay over tonight, and I'll go up tomorrow afternoon.  I'll be grateful when this is over and my grandmother is reunited with Grandpa, Dad, and so many others.

It's an emotional few days.

Major adulting

Today, Thomas and Lyndi closed on the purchase of their home.  We are so incredibly proud of them.  They have done almost all of this completely on their own.  I'm sure there will be some sweat equity that we provide at some point, and perhaps starting soon in order to get them moved, but they have handled the paperwork and financing and all of it completely on their own.  It's a great starter home for them, and we are really, really proud!

Ah...the weekend

To be honest, I've been pretty darn giddy about this weekend!  Since it was the first week of work, I decided to allow myself not to work at my mom's house, which means I get to sleep in for the first time in weeks.  Andrew doesn't have to work tomorrow either, so we actually have a day at home tomorrow.  I'm ecstatic, and know it could be weeks before this happens again.  Sunday has some extra church commitments, and tonight Andrew has the football game.  I'll be continuing my photo organizing this evening and I'm excited to be moving along with those.  AND there is COLLEGE FOOTBALL on tomorrow!  Only four games, but ah...it's here!  The weather is still very warm out (and going to get warmer) but we are headed into my favorite season.

And how was the first full week?  Well, this school year feels like an absolute gift.  Our families are wonderful, our new staff is amazing, and we are so thankful for the way things are moving along! 

RIP Dolly Parton

It was sad news yesterday when we learned that Dolly Parton had passed away.  She was talented, smart, philanthropical, and so much more.  Andrew told me that even his students knew who she was.  There will absolutely never be another like her.  May she rest in peace.

We made it through the first week and the first short weekend

Last week was three completely normal days.  We kept commenting on how much we can get done when we aren't worrying about the chaos that is ensuring around us.  It was delightful.  I think it's going to be a really good year.

This weekend was short, but full of some emotions.  I'm working through photos, and I completely wrapped up all of 2017 and 2018.  In those years, my aunt, my grandmother, and my father-in-law were still alive.  We still had fabulously fun family gatherings.  And we still had all three kids as part of our lives.  

The part about Robert is weighing on me a bit.  I would love to have a "family" ornament made with all of our names.  But, it doesn't seem right to put him on it...and yet it doesn't seem right not to do so.  What if he comes back one day and sees it?  It feels complicated.

I went to see my grandmother yesterday.  I only stayed about ten minutes.  There is part of me that is so angry she is alive.  I feel terrible for even thinking that.  But she just lies in bed and does absolutely nothing.  Visiting her is hard because there is no talking, and the TV isn't on so it's awkward to just sit there.  She is so small and this just isn't my grandmother.  The anniversary of my grandfather's passing was Friday, and there is part of me that thought she wouldn't make it through the weekend.  I hate seeing her "living" like this, because it isn't living.

We have five full days this week, but our evenings are fairly unscheduled.  Next weekend I am not making a trip to my mom's house, and then I'll only work four days the following week.  We were even able to turn off our a/c this evening.  I am so ready for cooler weather!

Thirty-four years ago today I was one of them

Today is move-in day at the university.  It is not anyone's favorite day.  The students arrival doubles our town's population, not to mention the family members who have arrived to help move them in.  The traffic is an absolute nightmare.  I miss the quiet of our little town already.

The thing that is so hard for me to believe is that I was one of those students, and I moved into my freshman dorm exactly thirty-four years ago today.  I can't believe how quickly the time has flown by.  I also have to note that I didn't love move-in day any more as a student than I do as a town resident!

Two days into school, and our school year has been delightful (knock on wood).  I'm so very optimistic this is going to be wonderful!