Thirteen years without my dad

Thirteen years ago today my dad passed away.  This one hits differently.  I'm so grateful that my grandmother doesn't have to feel the pain of the memory of this date, and I'm so grateful they've been reunited.  I can only imagine how spectacular that reunion was.  I'm so grateful that my dad had me when he was so young, because I still had so many years with him.  Incredible memories and incredible blessings.

This weekend is the perfect fall weekend.  I had an event this morning with my work staff, and the rest of the day has been cleaning the house.  Last evening, Andrew was home for the first Friday since early August, and we watched a Hallmark Christmas movie.  I just watched the Ohio State victory, and now the Notre Dame game is on.  Andrew and his mom will be here in an hour or so, and she'll be here for two weeks.  Tomorrow we have no specific plans other than church.  It's in the 40's, which is delightful in my mind.  It all feels so peaceful and wonderful right now!  I hope I never fail to recognize my gratitude and blessings.

The middle of November...so close to the holidays!

We are so close to the holidays, and tomorrow makes it feel even closer.  Andrew is going to pick up his mom and she'll be here for two weeks.  I'm so excited, and so ready.  I've been doing some Christmas shopping, and I'm just really ready!  One more week of work, and then a week off.  Ahhhh...

The weather has become MY kind of weather.  Today was cloudy, drizzly, and in the 40's.  I love wearing sweatshirts.  And I love that it is Friday, and Andrew is home for the first time in months.  I am more full of gratitude than I can put into words!

Christmas movies

'Tis the season!  I've started watching Christmas moves.  I don't think any form of entertainment is as "feel good" as the Hallmark movies.  Heartwarming, and at times even magical.  They used to drive me crazy because they were so formulaic, but now that predictability is exactly what I need!  The traditions, the family, the joy...I love it all!

I'm trying to fight it, but I am feeling a little melancholy about the holidays this year.  Since Catherine moved out at the beginning of the year, this will be the first year that none of my children will be living at home at the holidays.  I told Andrew last night that it might be just us for our viewing of Friends' Thanksgiving episodes.  That's how it started all those years ago, but in all honestly it sure has been more fun with the kids!  We've been so lucky.  Thomas and Lyndi have let us know that they want to wake up in their own home on Christmas morning, which I 100% understand.  I am grateful for all of the Christmas mornings I got to share with my kiddos, and I am grateful that they still live close enough that we can still all gather together.

I'm also feeling the loss of my grandmother as we head into the holidays.  It feels like such a loss of family.  Even though we haven't gathered together for years on either side of the family, I'm missing those holidays gatherings tremendously right now.  My wonderful mother-in-law is 87, and although she is doing well, we never know how many years are left.  It's true for all of us, of course, but it feels more poignant.  I also know that I'm sad about how difficult my mother and my sister can be.  My sister will not be here for Thanksgiving, and I think we have about a 50/50 chance of celebrating Christmas together.  And my mom will find something to complain about, and probably more than one thing.

I am still thrilled, overall, that the holiday season is here!  And I still plan to cherish each moment and make incredible memories.  And I plan to be thankful for those around me, and soak up the blessings.

This is absolutely my kind of day

Our school is closed today, although staff are supposed to be working on curriculum.  That doesn't include me, so I'm just enjoying the day.  It is chilly, drizzly, overcast...my kind of day to be cozy and cuddly at home...and it's just me and the animals until Andrew gets home.  Spectacular.  And, I am still off tomorrow!

The weekend was, well, it was a lot of things.  I started a wonderful fall puzzle.  I love the cozy feel of the puzzle, but puzzling is something where I take after my grandmother.  It's odd to think that I miss her, because honestly the person she was has been gone for years.  I enjoy that we had puzzling in common.

As we are in November, the memories of my dad's passing come back as well, and since it was my paternal grandmother who just passed, I can't help but think of how they've been reunited.  I can only imagine the moment when she was able to see all those loved ones again, and think about how glorious it must have been.

Yesterday we traveled to northern Kentucky to celebrate a birthday for my cousin's grandson.  We took some back roads to get there, and I realized the last time I had been on those roads was 20 months ago when we headed to Louisville for the funeral of a friend from high school.  I dreamt about him twice last week, and for some reason, it's caused me to be greatly emotional.

There were less emotional things as well!  Halloween was Saturday, and Andrew and I handed out candy to the neighbor kids.  Notre Dame won against Navy, OSU lost to USC (ugh!), and the Steelers beat the Browns yesterday (at the party, we were surrounded by opposing fans).  Saturday, Andrew made chili and we had a fire in our fireplace.  The cozy holiday season is coming upon us, and I'm so grateful.  Time is flying by so rapidly in life, but I'm incredibly grateful for each moment!

The last Friday of October

Today is the last Friday of October, and it's another absolutely gorgeous day.  I'm not sure I remember the last time there was even a cloud in the sky.  Tomorrow clouds return, but that's okay.  Temps are still in the 70's (ugh), but it gets cold at night.

I got off work early today because we didn't have students.  I've been off for 4-1/2 hours or so, and the best part...I don't go back to work until Wednesday.  This is absolutely wonderful!!  I started a fall puzzle tonight, I've got my candle lit, and after tomorrow the Halloween decorations get put away, and the Thanksgiving decorations come out.  Right now, at this moment in time, I'm able to feel an incredible amount of peace.

And I've felt just about anything but that this week.  There has been some emotional drama in our family, and I've learned before, and practiced many times, to just lift it all up in prayer and know that I can only do so much to affect the situation.  I'm also missing my husband, who still has football tonight.  I don't mind the ten weeks that he stats each year.  In fact, I kind of enjoy the very quiet Friday nights I have on those nights.  But ten is enough as far as I'm concerned.  Playoffs started tonight, and although our team is an underdog, I just found out they are currently ahead.  Plenty of game remains, though. :)

This evening, I'm just so full of gratitude overall for this moment in time.  There are more blessings than I can even count, and we are headed into the two best months of the entire year!

I am over this weather

 I have to admit, I am NOT at all thrilled that tomorrow's high is going to be 79 degrees.  It's been in the 70's for weeks now.  I am grateful that hasn't been warmer, but it can be cooler and still be beautiful out!

Regardless of the temps, I am so, so grateful for today.  It is early day at our school, which means students are dismissed 45 minutes earlier than the rest of the week.  Classroom staff uses this time for meetings or other planning, but for me I get to head on home.  Andrew arrived home shortly after I did, and it has been a truly wonderful evening.  I got some things done, but I've also been able to truly relax.  At least until one of my adult children called to explain some drama.  Parenting is not for the faint of hear, but parenting young adults is ridiculous at times.  Ugh.

Only three days of October remain, and then we head into the month of gratitude.  I have plenty of that, even on crazy days.

My birthday

Today I recognize another trip around the sun, and I have completed 53 rotations.  Normally I would say I "celebrated", but that isn't quite the case today.  My day began a little roughly, as the last dream I had before I work up was about my friend who passed 20 months ago.  In the dream, Ryan was there and he was good, and then I woke up and realized none of that was true.  Because I hadn't slept much, it made me incredibly emotional, and I couldn't stop crying, even at work.  I wasn't at work long, though, as I had offered to make the 70 minute trip to Thomas's house in order to be there for some utility work that needed completed.  It was expected to be a quick fix, and I was looking forward to my afternoon off on a lovely day!  Instead, I was there 5-1/2 hours while everything under the sun went wrong for these poor utility workers, and I finally made it home at almost 7:30 this evening.  My wonderful husband brought in dinner, and now I'm ready for bed.

One other note, my sister has been worried that she has seen some cognitive decline in my mother.  I wasn't convinced as I hadn't seen it, but the fact that Mom never sent me birthday wishes today certainly is notable.  I'm not going to lie, September and October have been emotional and a bit stressful.