October

I am so happy that October has arrived.  I'm also happy to report that situation involving the student at our school has a mostly happy resolution.  A bunch of us are pitching in to make things work out, and it is truly an honor and a privilege to be part of the village for this family.  I am looking forward to a wonderful month.

Today seemed an appropriate ending for this month

I awoke this morning with a migraine.  One dose of medication didn't do the trick, and even the second one was rough.  I suspect it was related to the lack of protein from yesterday.  Regardless, it was a rough morning.  I went in about 90 minutes late, and to be honest, I still didn't feel great even when I went in.  And then our afternoon hit.  I got a phone call from a parent at the school.  She was crying, I was crying, my coworkers were crying.  I will not break confidentiality, but this family does not deserve anything that is happening to them and we are all heartbroken.  Our day also started with our Early Care worker needing to be out, and since I'm normally the one who handles it and I couldn't, it was all a crazy day.  It was emotional, it was heavy, and it felt inline with how my month had gone.  But tomorrow is October, we have a really fun weekend planned, and I'm optimistic it will be spectacular!

Another trip to my hometown for another funeral

I made another trip to my hometown this evening for yet another funeral.  This man was my high school math teacher, but he and Georgia also became good friends with my mom and were there for her so many times after my dad died.  My mom has taken this very hard, which I completely understand.  I was prepared to be emotional about his passing and seeing Georgia.  I was not prepared for so many of my high school teachers and administrators to also be present (although I certainly should have been...it's a small town!!) and it was just a bit overwhelming, especially being back in the same funeral home 17 days after my grandmother's funeral.

Today was also verdict day in the trial of a murder in my hometown.  It's made national news, and it has been so, so awful.  The jury was out for two hours and 15 minutes before returning with guilty verdicts on all nine counts.  I was listening live, and at first I wanted to cheer, but no amount of guilty verdicts or jail time served is going to bring Ashley back.  Nothing will give Todd & Jill their daughter back, and most importantly, nothing will give Ava & Alyssa their mother back, and they've lost their father as well.  My heart is broken for the family, but grateful that justice has been served.

It is safe to say this September has not been my most favorite.  I am physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted, but also so, so grateful.  I've really learned a lot about myself over the last month, and more than anything, I've reaffirmed how amazing my husband is and what a great team we make together.  The stress of this month, while a lot, has also allowed me to see so very many blessings that are a part of my life every day!

An end, a beginning, and other changes

Today we officially finished emptying my grandma's assisted living space.  We had to be out by this coming Wednesday, so it's nice to have that finished.  It's also awful, of course, because she is gone.  But I keep reminding myself, she's really been mostly gone for the last two years, and I'm so grateful that she is no longer existing as she was.  And I can only imagine how glorious that reunion in Heaven was when she was greeted by Grandpa and my dad, not to mention her parents and brother and sister.  Although the thought brings tears to my eyes, they aren't necessarily sad tears.

And in a beginning, Thomas and Lyndi invited us to their house for dinner, and Catherine and Zeke joined as well.  It was a lovely evening getting to visit with everyone, and I was honored that we were their first dinner guests.  It was a long day as I'd made the trip to my hometown and back, and then made the hour + trip to their house.  It was so great to all be together though.

We've also made a big change for our holiday plans.  I explained to my mother that with Thomas and Lyndi's move and a new dog, it will be very difficult for them to have to make a trip to my hometown for Christmas Day.  Mom was willing to go to a different day, but I explained it wouldn't be necessary this year as long as Mom would be willing to make the trip down to our house.  This also eliminates the stress of getting mom's house presentable for the meal.  Not in decent shape, mind you, just so it doesn't stink and shit can be hidden in rooms.  Also, she doesn't decorate so it will be nice to have a tree and everything.  My sister wasn't going to tell me no, but she did say she probably wouldn't come.  I offered to do the gift exchange at another time so she would just be missing the meal, and she said she's send the gifts down.  It breaks my heart to think of my sister being alone on Christmas, but she specifically told me she wouldn't be coming down because she didn't want to spend that much time in a car that day.  I've offered to drive up and get my mom AND take her back, but the two hours in the car to spend Christmas Day here is too much.  I could also point out that since September 1, I've made nine round trips back and forth to my home town, including two that would have been completely unnecessary except that my sister didn't want to deal with things.  Totally understandable as she was dealing with a lot, but I'm not sure why it's so expected for me and not acceptable for her.  Anyway, I'm excited about the thought of having family here together that day.  My mother-in-law is also considering being here from Thanksgiving though Christmas, but that isn't a done deal yet.  We'll see how that plays out.  

I'm completely exhausted.  September is the busiest month for Andrew, and adding Grandma's death and all that goes with it has been a lot to deal with.  We are soooo close to my favorite months of the year though, and I'm so grateful.  There are so many blessings!

Saturday morning

I'm very grateful for this Saturday morning.  The temps were in the 40's overnight, and it was chilly...my kind of weather!  Andrew had to stat at the game last night and then work the JV game this morning, but I've enjoyed some quiet time.  I slept in and slept some more!  I got up and took our sweet pup on a walk around the block.  It was so peaceful, and we watched the deer in our neighbor's yard.  I got home and I've been relaxing and enjoying the quiet.  Janey just hopped into Andrew's recliner with Marble, our cat from the woods who adopted us last year.  They are buddies and it is so incredibly sweet to see them together.  And Maudie, my grandma's cat who came to live with us 6-1/2 years ago, is now eleven and always curls up next to me when I'm sitting with my computer.

This month has really kicked our butts physically, and it's been really hard emotionally as well.  But, it won't always be this way.  And even when things are hard, there are still beautifully peaceful moments of joy like I'm experiencing at this very moment!

A lot of emotions

Today was unexpectedly full of emotions.  This evening, I've been going through the bags of things my sister had me bring to my house from Grandma's place.  Of course there are tons of pictures and cards and other memories, but there were two bags that really got me.  One was all the cards she received when my grandfather passed away in 2004.  The other was from my Dad's passing.  There were so many cards and notes she received, and the ones that knew my dad personally wrote about what a fighter he was.  And she had all the articles and tributes that had been written in about him as well.  Because Dad is gone, my sister and I are so much more involved in this, and we've lost a link to my dad as well.  It was unexpected.

Other emotions are because of a murder trial that is happening in my hometown.  It's really so, so awful, and although I don't know the people, my mother knows some of the family, and it's just a really awful situation.

And I'm a little emotional about missing my husband.  We've had so very little time together in the last three weeks.  He's been incredible and I don't know how he is continuing to put in such long days at school.  I'm so very, very grateful for him. 

In ten days, we are headed to IL for a weekend with our friends.  I'm so looking forward to so much laughter that is sure to happen!

And today is the first day of fall, and it feels like it!  It was chilly and I needed a jacket.  A candle is lit, and if I can ever get things put away I'll even decorate for fall.  So ready for this season!

I need a rest from my weekend

I got off work Friday at 3:51, and as far as I was concerned 3:52 was the best moment of the entire week.  We were going to get to sleep in Saturday morning, and I was really looking forward to a little bit of relaxing.  And we did...a little bit.  Friday was the high school Homecoming football game, but I stayed home and worked on organizing photos.  I woke up earlier yesterday than I had wanted to, but it was a good night of sleep.  I worked photos again throughout the day, and last night was our every-other-month-planned-dinner with very, very dear friends.  We had agreed that we would pick up my best friend, Steph, because her husband had to work.  One by one, literally everyone else backed out, and it ended up just being the three of us.  We had the best time!  We ended up being out later than expected, but we had a blast.

Today was a day that was really rough.  I had be on the road early this morning, to my hometown, to help get things out of the assisted living facility.  There was a group coming to take much of the larger furniture, although my sister and I are keeping quite a few things.  My aunt already had retrieved the furniture she wanted.  My sister and I were there for hours, packing, unpacking, sorting, pitching, etc.  We moved some furniture over to my mom's house (don't get me started) and my cousin and her son helped with that.  My sister became emotional on occasion, and all out cried at one point.  I know this is hard on her for so many reasons.  K and I were very, very close to this grandmother, but Grandma was really hard at the end, and I know K wonders if she did enough for her.  I know she did, but my sister is emotional.  We ended our afternoon with a fight, and I truly regret that.  I don't regret that I pushed back when she verbalized some feelings, but I regret that she then kind of had a meltdown, to the point that it would probably be a good idea if she spent some time talking to a professional.  I then had to go over to my mom's, which is always tough, and then I drove to Thomas's house.  They've had a situation develop as well that is challenging, and we thought we might have to drive back up again after I got home.  Instead, we managed to get my car unloaded so that we could drive to the church and reload it with the items collected for our back to school drive.

Andrew made us a lovely dinner, and I was famished.  I'm so grateful for him.  He has something in the evening every day this coming week again.  September is definitely my least favorite month this year!

Ready for sweater weather

I am so ready to decorate for fall, have candles lit, and start wearing sweatshirts and sweaters.  Unfortunately, while tomorrow will be in the 70's with comfortable dew points, there upper 80's and even 90's in the forecast for the week.  So the above all seems unlikely and silly.

After such an incredibly draining day yesterday, I stayed home this morning.  My poor husband had to go to church anyway because of some activities happening for which he was responsible.  I took the dog on a walk and enjoyed the peaceful and quiet nature, reminding me again why I love our location.  I then came home and watched the photo video that was playing at Grandma's visitation, and then I had a good, sobbing, cry.  I hadn't cried at all in the last weeks while watching my Grandmother pass or in planning and going through the services.  In addition, we had Thomas moving into his new house, my mother passing out at the services and me spending the rest of the day at the hospital with her, Lyndi in the emergency room Friday night with a migraine, and my mother receiving word of the passing of a family friend unexpectedly while on vacation.  I. Am. Exhausted.  I also hold it all together and always have, and now that there seems to be nothing to take care of today, I know I will be emotional.

My poor husband, though, he has been through it all with me as well, and he has an incredibly crazy week coming up.  The athletic director is out of town, for the entire week, so Andrew has to handle everything.  Which means our poor sweet pup is going to have much more alone time than she would like.  In an effort to minimize that, I'm not going to get nearly as much done during the week with my jobs, but it will have to be okay.  At the end of the day, it will all be okay.

That was unexpected

Today was the service for my grandmother.  Andrew did the service as he did with my uncle, and he did a fabulous job.  We were blessed with the presence of friends and family, and we couldn't be more grateful for our friends who closed their restaurant so we could be a "private event" this afternoon.  My grandmother looked amazing, and it was just beautiful.

Except for the part where my mom collapsed.  It was about 1/2 way through the visitation, and one minute she was talking to Catherine, and the next minute she was non-responsive and borderline seizing.  We called 9-1-1, and the station is only a block away from the funeral home.  Everyone jumped into action quickly, and I was confident she'd be fine.  My mom's friend who had just arrived offered to accompany her to the hospital.  After our meal was finished, I went to the hospital and my sister went to the house to stay with the dog.  As I suspected, Mom has a UTI, and it tends to initially present in exactly this way.

It was nearly 8:00 by the time I got home today after getting Mom home from the hospital.  To say that I'm exhausted and drained is an understatement.  Everyone has thoughtfully been checking in and I keep telling Andrew it could have been so, so much worse.  But I am ready to sleep well tonight!

Twenty-five years ago

To be honest, I didn't really want to remember today.  I didn't want to think about the horror of twenty-five years ago.  But I also know for so many, there is no other option.  While our country changed forever that day, there are families who had giant holes from this date.  I've been praying for the victim's and loved ones all day.  It's just so hard to believe an entire quarter century has passed in the blink of an eye.  I pray for our country.

Tomorrow, we bury Grandma.  Ted has written a beautiful little speech to give at the cemetery, although it is supposed to rain.  It will work out.  I am so, so, so grateful for the memories of my grandparents.  Even as a child, I remember being grateful that my parents had me when they were so young which meant I had young grandparents.  How many people get to say they lost their last living grandparent at age 52??  I've been beyond blessed.

My memories of Grandma

My grandma was only 42 when she became a grandmother.  My younger sister and I were the only grandchildren until I was seven and my aunt was married and gained a step-son.  Although we never used the word "step" in our family (and still don't), they lived over an hour away and never had the same bond.  Six years later my aunt & uncle adopted a child who was ten years old.  Again, they still lived away and just never had the same connection, although he does adore my grandmother.

Because my grandparents were so young, they did so many things with us.  They would play badminton on their driveway, or stay up with us on New Year's Eve.  They took us to their summer place in Michigan.  Whatever it was, they delighted in us, and especially so my grandmother.  Grandpa had his grumpy moments, but never Grandma.  The woman had a quiet strength about her.  My sister, mom, and I are all strong women, but not quietly!  Grandma just took care of what needed to be handled, and she never wanted anyone to have to worry about her.  She was an amazing care giver to my grandfather for seven years as he battled Parkinson's, and she also helped to care for my dad and mom at various points of their illnesses.  When her sister and sister-in-law, the last two of her generation besides her, passed away a week apart and people worried about her, Grandma was quick to announce "Pish, posh" and she handled things just fine.  And she was always so pleased with herself when she did something she knew most people her age couldn't.  I remember her strolling in to Robert's baseball game swinging her lawn chair at age 81.  She was so pleased she was there.

And nothing pleased my grandma more than her family.  My sister and I helped decorate their tree every year on the day after Thanksgiving, and it came down on New Year's Eve when we stayed over.  Her great-grandchildren were just as enjoyed, and she loved when she could have my kids anytime, but especially over night.  Catherine commented the other day about how there was ice cream at her house.  I remember we visited one time, and she decided we would stay for a dinner of hot dogs, mac & cheese, fruit, and of course dessert of ice cream or cookies.  Nothing made her happier.

I'll miss Grandma, but honestly, I've been missing her for over two years.  The woman she has been during those two years is not at all the grandmother I knew.  It started five years ago when she moved into Assisted Living, but two years ago was when the decline really changed who she was.  Although, our last visit a couple of weeks ago, she still said that she "didn't require much."  My response to her was that even though she didn't need anything, if there was something she wanted I was happy to get it for her.

I am so grateful that my grandma was such an integral part of my life for so, so many years.  And I'm also so grateful that she has gone on and is with my grandpa and dad, and her brother and sister and so many others.

We will miss you, Grandma

My grandma passed away late this morning.  While there is relief and comfort in knowing she is reunited with so many loved ones and is no longer in any pain or discomfort, there are so many wonderful memories about this amazing woman.  I can only imagine how happy she was to see Grandpa and my dad again.  I am beyond grateful to have been her granddaughter.

Grandma is still hanging on

My grandmother is still hanging on.  Hospice is there around the clock, and my sister has basically moved in.  My aunt is there each day, and I was up Wednesday evening and most of yesterday.  At one point yesterday, the nurse gathered us and said he hadn't breathed in two minutes, but my aunt took her hand and she breathed again.  Last evening, my sister and I sat by her bed, mostly in silence, and the nurse told us it would be anytime.  It was heart wrenching listening to my sister tell Grandma it was okay to go, and that she could go see Grandpa and my dad, as well as Uncle Bill (her brother) and Aunt Margie (her sister).  I kept sitting there praying God would help her let go and asking for his mercy.

The nurses have decided it is best if we don't sit in with her, unless it is something we feel strongly about.  I'm not making the trip up today, and my sister and aunt are hanging out in a different room.  I won't lie.  This really is awful.  I am praying again that Grandma passes peacefully.

The beginning of September

Today is September 1, but it feels more like July or August.  The heat index is near 100 all week, which means we were able to postpone our school picnic that was supposed to be held on Thursday.  We are already wilting, and two more days of this isn't going to be helpful.

It was also seventy-six years ago today that my paternal grandparents were married.  Today, my grandmother is lying in a bed in her assisted living home.  Hospice has been called in, and they believe my grandmother is actively dying (such an ironic phase).  My aunt has been there all day, my sister will stay over tonight, and I'll go up tomorrow afternoon.  I'll be grateful when this is over and my grandmother is reunited with Grandpa, Dad, and so many others.

It's an emotional few days.

Major adulting

Today, Thomas and Lyndi closed on the purchase of their home.  We are so incredibly proud of them.  They have done almost all of this completely on their own.  I'm sure there will be some sweat equity that we provide at some point, and perhaps starting soon in order to get them moved, but they have handled the paperwork and financing and all of it completely on their own.  It's a great starter home for them, and we are really, really proud!

Ah...the weekend

To be honest, I've been pretty darn giddy about this weekend!  Since it was the first week of work, I decided to allow myself not to work at my mom's house, which means I get to sleep in for the first time in weeks.  Andrew doesn't have to work tomorrow either, so we actually have a day at home tomorrow.  I'm ecstatic, and know it could be weeks before this happens again.  Sunday has some extra church commitments, and tonight Andrew has the football game.  I'll be continuing my photo organizing this evening and I'm excited to be moving along with those.  AND there is COLLEGE FOOTBALL on tomorrow!  Only four games, but ah...it's here!  The weather is still very warm out (and going to get warmer) but we are headed into my favorite season.

And how was the first full week?  Well, this school year feels like an absolute gift.  Our families are wonderful, our new staff is amazing, and we are so thankful for the way things are moving along! 

RIP Dolly Parton

It was sad news yesterday when we learned that Dolly Parton had passed away.  She was talented, smart, philanthropical, and so much more.  Andrew told me that even his students knew who she was.  There will absolutely never be another like her.  May she rest in peace.

We made it through the first week and the first short weekend

Last week was three completely normal days.  We kept commenting on how much we can get done when we aren't worrying about the chaos that is ensuring around us.  It was delightful.  I think it's going to be a really good year.

This weekend was short, but full of some emotions.  I'm working through photos, and I completely wrapped up all of 2017 and 2018.  In those years, my aunt, my grandmother, and my father-in-law were still alive.  We still had fabulously fun family gatherings.  And we still had all three kids as part of our lives.  

The part about Robert is weighing on me a bit.  I would love to have a "family" ornament made with all of our names.  But, it doesn't seem right to put him on it...and yet it doesn't seem right not to do so.  What if he comes back one day and sees it?  It feels complicated.

I went to see my grandmother yesterday.  I only stayed about ten minutes.  There is part of me that is so angry she is alive.  I feel terrible for even thinking that.  But she just lies in bed and does absolutely nothing.  Visiting her is hard because there is no talking, and the TV isn't on so it's awkward to just sit there.  She is so small and this just isn't my grandmother.  The anniversary of my grandfather's passing was Friday, and there is part of me that thought she wouldn't make it through the weekend.  I hate seeing her "living" like this, because it isn't living.

We have five full days this week, but our evenings are fairly unscheduled.  Next weekend I am not making a trip to my mom's house, and then I'll only work four days the following week.  We were even able to turn off our a/c this evening.  I am so ready for cooler weather!

Thirty-four years ago today I was one of them

Today is move-in day at the university.  It is not anyone's favorite day.  The students arrival doubles our town's population, not to mention the family members who have arrived to help move them in.  The traffic is an absolute nightmare.  I miss the quiet of our little town already.

The thing that is so hard for me to believe is that I was one of those students, and I moved into my freshman dorm exactly thirty-four years ago today.  I can't believe how quickly the time has flown by.  I also have to note that I didn't love move-in day any more as a student than I do as a town resident!

Two days into school, and our school year has been delightful (knock on wood).  I'm so very optimistic this is going to be wonderful!

At least I bounce well?

Today is the last day of the summer break.  Students arrive tomorrow, and I'm looking forward to it.  We had planned for today to be a fairly short day.  I made sure all the paperwork is ready to go, and I'm excited to see the kids.  Andrew is working an athletic event this evening, and I'm grateful for the extended hours of a very quiet house.

While I'm ready for school, my computer is not.  It hasn't worked well for a while, so we purchased a new one.  Today was supposed to be the day that we finally hooked up the new one and transferred things over.  But, nothing worked the way it was supposed to.  I went to look for some additional cables, and had to climb some steps.  A door ended up shutting behind me, making the space very dark, and I thought I was off the steps when in fact, I was not.  Knowing that my body was about to collide with a cement floor, I was very concerned.  I was so grateful that I didn't hit my head, nothing is broken, and while I'm sure I'll be sore tomorrow, it really wasn't a big deal.  I guess I kind of "bounced" off the cement floor, so for today I'll be grateful that I bounced well!

We moved here thirteen years ago

Thirteen years ago we moved in to our home.  The time has absolutely flown by.  Part of me didn't think we would still be here at this point, but at this time there is no place else I'd rather be.  I may not be a huge fan of living in a college town, but I absolutely love our home, and I love this little wooded neighborhood.  By Christmas, I will have lived in this house longer than any other home I've lived in during my entire life.  That seems unreal.  As a child, my parents purchased a home right before my sister was born, and then we moved to our next home just over 13 years later.  I loved both of those homes and was so lucky to get to grow up in them.  I lived in our second family home a little over 7 years, then moved out on my own into a house that my dad owned and I eventually bought from him.  I lived in that house for about 6-1/2 years before Andrew and I were married and bought our first home.  We lived there for 10-1/2 years before moving here...and I just can't believe we have been here 13 years.  I'm also having trouble believing it is only Andrew and I at this point.  This house has been such a tremendous blessing! 

The Uhauls are beginning to arrive

After church today, I had to run back into town and make a very quick trip to the grocery.  It was still an easy drive with very little traffic, but I couldn't help but notice that there were several Uhauls along the way, and I signed a bit. 'Tis the season, and I know our little town doesn't exist without the university, but ugh.  I haven't missed the students, nor have I missed needing to drive around block upon block to locate a parking spot.  This time next week, though, the semester will be starting in just about 12 hours and the town will be crazy again.

Our family had our annual back-to-school dinner this evening.  Without realizing it, I've made a tradition of making sure we get together right before school begins.  The fall is really hard for Andrew and I with the schedule, and I wanted to make sure we saw our kiddos.  We learned today that a classmate of Thomas's was killed in a car accident this weekend.  Love and hug your babies and loved ones, because tomorrow is never promised.

Our family is incredibly blessed, and a blessing as well.  It's time for school to begin again.  I'm grateful for each day, even the school days. :)

It is August 13

Today is August 13, a day full of so many memories for me.  It's true though, as time passes, those memories don't hurt as much.  Thirty years ago today I walked into the kitchen and found my parents crying.  It was the first time I really realized how sick my dad was.  He stayed with us for 17 years though.  Even when he was told he wouldn't live more than five years, he lived six more.  Not at all surprised...that was my dad.

I've been working on photos and I really, really want to get them organized and printed.  So many memories in these photos, and I'm so enjoying reliving them.  Today I was finally able to do May of 2020...all those memories from Catherine's "graduation".  I will forever be so proud of her for getting through such a difficult time.  I still have vacations and holidays to organize, and I really look forward to that.

This has been a long week around here, but I'm happy to report it has not been work related.  I'm actually really looking forward to students returning and to being back in the routine.  I'm sure as I get tired though, that will change! :). The long part of the week has been the weather.  We have had rain like you wouldn't believe.  Absolute deluges, and repeatedly so.  The worst though, has been just west of us in southeastern Indiana.  Radar indicated, in one part, 18" of rain in 24 hours.  That is never a good thing.  Communities have been evacuated and shelters have been opening.  And the worst part is that we are supposed to receive more rain overnight, and some could be severe.  This has been the strangest August weather!  And then...it becomes unbearably hot.  I'm ready for sweatshirts...and football...and changing leaves.  We'll get there!

It's truly been a great summer.  I'm always a little sad to see it end, but I'm looking forward to all things fall!

One full week of summer remains

We are in the last week of summer.  Honestly, it's not my favorite week.  For both Andrew and I, it tends to be full of meetings and other things that I don't necessarily love.  It's a very "needy" week for the rest of the staff.  I know that sounds a little selfish of me, but I don't get to complete much of my own work this week.  While I've have absolutely enjoyed the much more laid back and carefree work schedule of the summer, I'm looking forward to larger paychecks that come with working full weeks.

Andrew and I went up to my mom's house yesterday to get some things done.  My sister and I aren't sure how much longer we are going to be able to continue this.  We may be soon getting to a point where Mom has to make some difficult decisions.

We also visited with Catherine's godfather last night.  We hadn't been able to see him in a couple of years.  He divorced his wife several years ago and has since remarried.  His new wife is delightful. and I adore her.  I'm so glad we were able to spend the evening with them.

T-minus nine days until students arrive.  Here we go!

Here's your sign

Are you familiar with Bill Engvall's "Here's your sign" comedy?  If not, look it up!  I find it funny, and definitely had one of those moments today.

Me to sub teacher in email: "Hi, hope you've had a good summer!  I'm checking to see what your subbing availability is for the fall.  Also, here's our academic calendar for the year."

Sub teacher in response: "Thank you for sending this.  Are you still hoping for me to occasionally sub?"

Me to sub teacher: "Nope.  Was just wondering when you'll be sitting around at home doing nothing.  Here's your sign."

Ugh.  Obviously that last part isn't my actual response, but good grief people.  Get it together.  It is August and I don't have time to explain common sense to you.

My day started with me locking myself out of the house.  'Tis the season for craziness (and the temps don't help)!

This week is a stark difference from last week

Last week was the final week of July.  We still had three weeks until school begins, and we were off on Friday and working short days.  This week is a stark difference to last week.  The teachers have been in and out all week, parents have been in and out and communicating, and there has been so much going on.  Next week is my least favorite week of the summer.  I'll be ready for the routine of the first day when it arrives.  We still have two weeks, and tomorrow and Friday will be shorter days.  Hanging on to what is left of summer, but ready to see the kids again!

This has not been the most relaxing beginning to August

 We are only two days into August, but it's not on track to be my favorite.  It's not awful (we don't think) but it's been a lot for just 48 hours!

It really started Friday.  I spent the day helping my mother work in her house.  I won't get into how emotionally challenging that can be, but trust me that it is.

Yesterday was uneventful until late afternoon.  Our friends had invited us over for the evening.  As we were arriving, we found out our home was under a tornado warning.  As the evening progressed, we ended up being under a warning at our friends' house a couple of times.  It's not exactly the most carefree way to spend an evening.  We were home by 11, and realized that our sweet pup had eaten some trail mix that included raisins.  That meant that Andrew and Janey were off to the vet hospital and didn't make it home until after 2:30.  Short night for me as I had to be at church early this morning to prepare communion.  

I came home and did a major grocery run, then got to work cleaning our sun room.  It was significantly overdue for that, and I'm exhausted, but feeling a major sense of accomplishment.  We've been keeping a close eye on Janey, and although she isn't out of the woods yet, things look promising.

Longer days begin tomorrow, and no more Fridays off.  It's that time, and I'll be ready.  I'm grateful that I have a job that I truly, truly love!

The kids bought a house

Thomas and Lyndi are purchasing a home!  It's a good starter home for them.  I don't love the community they will be living in, but the location provides Lyndi with an opportunity to take a job with an organization that will help pay for nursing school.  That's not a definite thing, but it allows for the option.  It's still just over an hour from us.  Andrew went there and confirmed it is a decent neighborhood.  I'm really proud of them.

On the downside, Thomas sliced his hand last night while working on his car.  He drove himself to the hospital because Lyndi wasn't home, and three stitches later he was sent home.  I saw the pictures, and holy moly.  He still went to work today even though there is some decent pain, and I'm really proud of the adulting that he is doing these days.

And in other unfortunate medical news, Andrew was stung AGAIN.  It just happened this afternoon, so we'll find out tomorrow if it swells and if he'll need to make a doctor trip.

Fingers crossed that is the end of the medical issues for a while!

We had dinner with my aunt

Yesterday, my aunt had a birthday.  Since Uncle Darrell has only been gone two months, I knew it would be tough for her.  Andrew and I wanted to take her to dinner.  My cousin spent yesterday with her, so we took her out this evening.  We really had a lovely evening and it was a lot of fun.  It's been a very long time since we had just sat and chatted.  Andrew and I both agree we'll need to do it again.  

Meanwhile, Thomas is the emergency room.  Lyndi called to let us know.  It seems as though Thomas was working on his car and managed to slice his hand.  Fortunately, he only needs two stitches.  That kid (technically young man, but to me still my kiddo)!

School starts three weeks from today.  I know it will be exhausting, but I'm ready to see the kids again.  It's been a fabulous summer!

I never really knew how much I took it for granted

When I was a child, my grandparents had a place in a corner of North Lake in Coldwater, MI.  This picture was taken in 1977, and truly doesn't do it justice.  My grandparents had a double lot so there was a full garage along with the trailer.  Because it was in the corner, we had amazing views of the wide open lake without the "boat" traffic right outside our door.  I can still remember how fun it was though watching the boats out on the open lake.  The trailer was positioned such that the big living room windows faced the water.  We spent time there every summer as a child, and because my parents had very little, it was usually our family vacation.  By the time we were a little older, we were making two or three trips there every year.  It was a 3.5 hour drive, so very doable to go back and forth.  My grandpa's brother had a place right around the corner from us, and very good friends had a place next door to them.  These are amazing childhood memories for me.

Of course I knew this was special because it was from my childhood, but until I got older I really didn't realize how truly special this was.  When I was in high school, my grandparents sold this place because the drive back and forth was getting to be too much.  They built a cottage on a lake just about 45 minutes from home.  It was nice.  Truly, it was.  But it was built on a channel with no open water views.  By this time I was also not nearly as excited about spending time with my grandparents, so the visits up there were a little less frequent and usually with friends.  My grandfather developed Parkinson's Disease in his 60's, so this place was sold before I turned 30.

I'd never really thought about how much my grandparents' place on the lake shaped me.  As I was looking through photos of the my adult life, I realized I LOVE having water as the backdrop.  And it's true.  I could just sit and look out at the water all day.  That's kind of what I did on Thursday.  While we've seldom been able to afford to stay in places with water views, almost always the water has been a factor in our vacations as an adult.  I'm so very, very grateful that I can make those memories with my family these days, and I'm even more grateful for the memories from my childhood.  I know now that I took those days (and views) for granted.

The sting

Andrew arrived with his mom a week ago yesterday.  We were thrilled to have her here again!  It hasn't been terribly scheduled, which is good for us all.  Last Saturday, the kids all came over, although they didn't stay particularly long.  Sunday, we each watched church services from home, then Andrew headed out to work in the yard.  He's been out a decent amount of time when he came hobbling inside, exclaiming that he had been stung.  As he began taking his shoe off, he realized that there were still about six yellow jackets swarming his foot!

Ultimately, he was INCREDIBLY lucky.  He only had one sting, which was absolutely a small miracle.  Andrew ran outside with his show, although one yellow jacket "broke free", but even that one managed to find his way outdoors shortly after (but not before giving our sweet pup a bit of a scare).  It could have been so, so, so much worse.  We iced his foot and waited to see what would happen as he assured us he was not allergic to stings.

That may be the case, but he sure did have a reaction!  Monday, his foot was very swollen, and by that evening his mother and I were trying to convince him to see a doctor.  He went Tuesday morning, and was given prednisone and and antibiotic as the doctor said an infection was starting.  It was really, really ugly.  He was pretty hobbled for about 24 hours but fortunately it didn't impact him too terribly much on our trip.  And even more fortunately, the view was so fabulous we didn't mind just sitting!

The yellow jackets have a nest in the ground in our backyard.  Andrew said he'd known about it and kept meaning to do something about it.  Needless to say, I am giving that area a very large clearance if I'm out there!

The trip to the river was amazing

When my mother-in-law was here at the beginning of June, we knew she would be back this week.  And I promised her a trip with a water view.  I found a great little spot along the Ohio River that had a cabin and was only an hour's drive.  To be honest, it didn't really feel like much, and I'm not sure Andrew or I expected much.  Our departure on Tuesday was delayed due to Andrew's doctor visit, but that is a different post.  We arrived, and my first thought was that we'll make it through the next three days and I'll be ready to go.  Honestly though, it was wonderful!  The view of the river was amazing.  The weather on Tuesday was stifling and everything made me sweat.  But Wednesday and yesterday were so comfortable and no humidity, and it just really made things perfect!

Tuesday evening, Andrew and I hit the grocery and brought back frozen pizzas.  We enjoyed the view of the river from inside since it was so miserable outside.  We continued watching episodes of the show she loves, and everyone slept well that night.  Wednesday, Andrew and I found a dog park for Janey.  We also drove around a bit to find out what was around, and Andrew was especially excited to find some U.S. Grant historical sites as he was born nearby.  We had a fabulous Mexican dinner, and spent much of the evening enjoying the river view.  Yesterday, I didn't even really want to leave the house.  Andrew took Janey on a long walk and found great places in town.  We brought in dinner because none of us wanted to give up any time enjoying the river view.  We sat outside as long as we could until the bugs really became too much.

We realized there are so many more things we'd like to do around there, and it's also only 25 minutes from downtown Cincinnati.  We are very strongly considering a spring break trip and enjoying the view again!  We all agreed the trip was even better than we expected, and I'm so grateful we were able to take the time with Andrew's mother.  She turns 87 in September, and we all know that nothing is promised to anyone.  We have so much fun with her!

Another weekend in July

Summer is moving right along, as it always does.  I'm so grateful that our lives are so much less crazy in the summer.  It makes the rest of the year much more tolerable.

Our weekend was fairly busy.  Catherine was going to my mom's to help with cleaning on Friday, so I decided it would be a good time for me to go up as well.  Unfortunately, mom's a/c went out...never a good thing in July.  The service company came right out were horrified to learn that the part couldn't arrive until this coming week...hopefully tomorrow.  My mom started saying she could muddle thought, and we weren't having it!  My dad had bought a portable a/c about 15 years ago and had given it to us when we moved here (not entirely certain why) so I came back home to get it (and Andrew), and back to my mom's we went.  I'm so glad that she is able to be comfortable this weekend.  I can't imagine otherwise.

Yesterday was the graduation party for Lyndi's sister, who was also a student of Andrew's her freshmen year.  I was grateful that our morning started with sleeping in we had another relaxing evening.  Today we were at church in the morning, and then spent some time working on the house.  Today also had some emotions. At church this morning we were asked by a member if we ever hear from Robert.  This person tends to think Robert is the greatest thing since sliced bread and doesn't always understand everything we've all been through.  This afternoon I came home and after getting some work done around the house, I started organizing photos.  Some of them were all the way back to 2017.  I'll be honest, it makes my heart hurt a little bit.  It's hard to look at the photos that have Robert in them and not remember how hard things were.  And I miss the days of having Catherine and Thomas here and living together as a sweet little family.  I'm so grateful to be the mother of all three of my kiddos, but today is one of those days where I feel a little sad that it all went by so quickly.  And that makes me even more thankful for the photos!

It was the most amazing trip

We had the best trip this past weekend!  I think we were all a little hesitant about spending so much time together and staying with our friend instead of having our own hotel rooms.  But, it was absolutely spectacular.  We loved having so much time together, and since we were all staying under the same roof, it actually allowed us the chance to be more laid back with our schedule rather than worrying about what time we were meeting Julie.  And the best part was that we could hang out in the evening and have a few drinks without anyone having to drive anywhere.  We visited some wineries, a brewery, and the best part was that we found this amazing park to walk around on our last evening after having the most amazing dinner.  We were able to cross another state off our list, and overall it was just the most amazing trip.  Julie is building a new house this year, and it will be even more fun next year.  We even made a plan to meet half way again in October, and even the drive home was awesome.  I'm so incredibly grateful for Lyndi staying at our house with the pets, for having the funds and flexibility to do this, and for our treasured friendships!

My perspective on this week

We are essentially half way through my summer break.  It's been nothing at all like I had planned it, and I'm completely okay with that!  I had "grand" plans for all the house work that was going to happen, especially painting what used to be Catherine's room.  Not going to happen.

Instead, there have been afternoons of naps and lots of genealogy work.  For one thing, the heat indices have been close to over 100 degrees.  So painting a small room is probably not what I'd be going for anyway.  Secondly, I've had little things pop up during the week and it hasn't allowed me hours on end of painting time, which is what I prefer.  And honestly, I'm prioritizing mental health, and I'm good with that.

The further I get from this past year, the more I realize how awful it was.  As my boss pointed out, we used to have weekly admin meetings, but this past year it was common for us to meet two or three times...a day!  I've realized how unfair it was to Andrew that I would come home and do absolutely nothing.  I didn't even want to talk to him.  I literally just wanted to sit and stare at something, usually my computer screen as I would mindlessly surf the internet.  If I had been parenting younger children, I've told my co-workers I would have resigned because it just wasn't fair to my family.

So, yes, the room will need painted at some point.  But, it's perfectly livable as it is, I'm just not a fan of purple! :). But I've enjoyed spending afternoons with my husband, relaxing, and I've enjoyed spending time (and dinner) with my adult kiddo and his wife, and I'm absolutely certain I will enjoy our trip with friends this coming weekend.  I'm physically able to travel and that is never a guarantee in life.  My dad died at age 59.  Andrew and I have made smart choices and we continue to do so, but it is 100% okay that my week has been more enjoyable than productive!

June is the best

As much as I love the holidays and prefer cooler weather, June really is the best month of the year in many ways.  I work minimal hours in June, and the nice thing is...July is much of the same.  June is usually cooler than July, plus, even after June, I still have July.  So June really is the best.

It also wraps up our first summer month of being empty nesters.  I enjoy it, but I also miss my kiddos.  They've had a lot going on recently, but I'll admit, it is less stressful when they aren't living it under my roof.  Catherine has a new job, and it's closer to where she now lives.  They had hoped to be able to move later this summer, but have agreed to remain where they are for one more year.  Overall, things are working out for her and I'm grateful.  Thomas and Lyndi are house hunting.  I'm not sure how things are going to work out for them in that regard, but I do understand them wanting to leave their current housing situation.  There is a chance they'll be moving in with us in September, but hopefully it doesn't come to that.

It's been a really lovely first six months of the year (knock on wood) in terms of my family, generally speaking.  I'm optimistic that the second six months of the year will also be lovely at work!

Returning the book brought tears to my eyes

Nearly a decade ago, Andrew and I came into possession of about 40 books that had been written by children in our school district.  These books were 10-20 years old at the time, and I was tasked with trying to get them returned to the "authors".  We were able to get a few returned, but most of the people I didn't know.  We are desperate to get this box out of our garage, so I decided to start taking action.  The one I returned this morning, brought me to tears, and this is going to stay with me for a bit.

I had been contacted by the step-daughter of one of the names.  Unfortunately, the gentleman had passed away two years ago.  His step-daughter was so excited about the prospect that this book may have been a part of his childhood.  When we discussed getting the book to her, she mentioned she didn't have transportation, but she would see if she could find a friend.  I told her I'd be happy to drop off the book to her.  That is when I learned she lives in the "project housing" here in town, but has a job at the fast food restaurant next to it and works mostly evenings.  I told her I would bring the book by after church.

Andrew doesn't like me going to this place by myself, and I was happy he was along to accompany me, although it was fairly quiet on a Sunday morning.  This woman lives with a partner and small child at the end, and honestly, they are more isolated and I'm sure that helps to keep things quieter.  As I handed the book to her, I showed her where her step-dad's picture was in the back, and as she kept thanking me, tears came to her eyes.  I hugged her, and I am so incredibly glad that I was able to get the book back to her family.  Her plan is to make copies and give the original to his mother.

This is going to stay with me, to be honest.  I have no idea what this family's story is, but they are going to be on my heart and mind for a long time.  Clearly, things have been hard for them.  I can't help but feel there is a reason I was to do this.  I don't know what it might be yet, but I'm not going to forget these people anytime soon.

The beginning of summer break

Today is officially the beginning of summer break.  It sounds a little ridiculous, but it is the only week of the entire summer that our office is completely closed.  It is also really the only week of the entire year that nothing has to happen and everything can wait.  I take an extra day at the end since we are traveling back from visiting our friend, so I don't have to be at work again until July 7.  Woohoo!

I know I'll be ready for the kids again in August, but I'm also very grateful that we still have almost eight weeks until that happens.  Tonight, we had a school event at the community concert and a few families showed up.  I'm not sure exactly what I'll be doing for the next couple of days, but relaxing and sleeping is on the list!

Father's Day 2026

Today, as we all know, was Father's Day.  I think Andrew struggled a little bit, as it was the first time he didn't get to see any of the kids on Father's Day.  Originally, I was supposed to be up helping my mom today so I hadn't planned anything with the kids.  I hadn't seen them on Mother's Day, so I didn't worry too much about it.  Andrew made an incredible dinner.  I told him I felt really badly that he had to cook, but I also pointed out that there was no way I was going to cook anything near as yummy as what he had made.  I'm so grateful for the incredible man that shares his life with me, and he couldn't be a more amazing father!

Of course, I've thought about my Dad a lot today.  He would love seeing what the kids are doing, especially Thomas.  I think Thomas would spend a lot of time with my parents if Dad were still alive.  I also was so blessed to be able to grow up with my grandfathers.  As I'm in my early 50's, there are so many years of memories.

We are keeping an eye out for severe storms again right now.  I'm tired and looking forward to a good night of sleeping, so hopefully nothing more severe will develop.

Another week in June

We are now 4-1/2 weeks into our summer with 8-1/2 weeks to go.  This summer is one of those rare summers where we get an extra week and have 13 weeks instead of 12.  I'm not sad about that at all.

This week has had some really gorgeous weather, although Wednesday was a really rough night.  We had two tornado warnings in town, and a tornado did touch down northeast of us.  Thankfully, it was an EF-0, but since the timing of the storms was from Midnight-2am, it made for a very-not-great night of sleep.  Fortunately, there wasn't a lot that needed accomplished at work this week, so we worked the minimum number of hours and that was that.  And we were closed today (although we try to never work Fridays in the summer), so yesterday's early departure was the start to our weekend!

It was a bit of a busy week.  Tuesday we had dinner plans with our best friends, and then on Wednesday I had TWO meetings at church.  And our week was after our busy weekend, which included two graduation parties on Sunday.  The first one was family, and my cousin expressed to me how she felt a little disappointed that one branch of our family (my uncle's...surprise, hmph) had no one attend and how her dad's side of the family had no one attend either.  As someone who just went through that with Thomas's reception last year, I get it, but they hadn't been there either.  Just remembering to feel grateful for the times we do have together.

We spent today's gorgeous weather day working in garages, although even with the nice weather it took a really big toll on my.  I've been fighting a migraine all day.  I'm hoping that soon I can get back to digitizing photos.

I'll say it again...I'm so incredibly grateful for the slower pace of summer!

The rest of our vaction

The last of our vacation was fairly uneventful, but it was still lovely.  We decided Thursday was going to be our "nothing" day.  I finished my book, Andrew did a lot of reading, took a walk, just hung out.  We were debating between two restaurants, and I was thrilled that Andrew agreed with me that we wanted to return to the winery we had gone to earlier in the week.  It was a really lovely day and I asked to sit by the windows so we could enjoy the view.  It was a really, really nice way to end the week.  EXCEPT, that we actually got to go back again, because as we were cleaning up in the evening, we realized that Andrew had left his phone there.  Fortunately, it wasn't too far from the condo.  There was also a walk along the shore to watch the sunset and another slide on the playground! :)

Up and on the way yesterday, and we were home by mid afternoon.  I was so ready to be home, and I was especially ready to see our sweet pup.  We were so grateful to Catherine for holding down the household while we were gone.

Today was another day in the car.  The parents of Catherine's boyfriend invited us to a family cookout.  We hadn't met them before, and we really wanted to make the trip, even though it was 2.5 hours each way (or more if you avoid the awful interstate drive as we did on the way home).  It was another long day in the car.  On the upside, they are lovely people and I'm so glad we had the opportunity to meet everyone.

I am grateful there is still another day before going back to work, but we have two grad parties, so not an entirely uneventful day.  But it's been a truly lovely week!

Days 2 & 3 of Lake Erie vacay

Yesterday had another rough start.  We decided to head to Sandusky.  We really though, with it being a bit larger, it would have some cute little shops.  It. Did. Not.  We had some ice cream and walked around in a fun park, but we both admitted, it was a bit disappointing.  We salvaged the afternoon by finding a nice winery, though.  Dinner was almost comical.  Andrew had dome some research and found this place that had fabulous reviews.  We dressed nicely, and when we arrived, we were stunned to find out it was basically a fancy Long John Silvers.  Now, I actually love LJS, but it is not what I am going for on vacation!  We decided to head to a restaurant that attached to a golf club, and that saved the day.  Other than it have the worst lemon martini Andrew's ever had, the dinner was nice.  It rained in the evening, but we hung out in the condo and just enjoyed the views.  I did go down some slides at the playground, and Andrew laughed at my joy!

Today, Andrew wanted to take in the Rutherford B Hayes presidential sites.  The house was really enjoyable and our tour guide was fabulous.  I could have done without the museum, to be honest.  It's also really, really hot outside.  We came back to the condo and had dinner at a little place that is essentially right around the corner.  It was burger night, and the burgers were scrumptious!  We also found a popcorn store and brought home a tin.  Yum!

Tomorrow is our last day here.  We are staying close, just doing the little lighthouse in town and going for some ice cream.  We will have a nice dinner, and Friday it is time to head home.  I'll be ready to head home, and our weekend is packed.  We still have ten weeks of summer, and I'm soaking it all up!

It was a fabulous day

Yesterday was a fabulous day.  We left around Noon and drove over to Catawba.  We found an amazing restaurant that we might venture back to for dinner later this week.  Lunch was great, but it wasn't the same experience as dinner, I'm sure.  Then we drove over to Marblehead Lighthouse and had a blast looking around there.  It was almost chilly!  Andrew went up to the top, but I wasn't interested in that.  We decided to hit up this fancy winery in Catawba on the way back and do appetizers for dinner.  They had the BEST wine and the crab cakes were also amazing.  We were back at the condo by 6pm for a relaxing night of nothing.  If the next three days are as incredible as yesterday, just wow! 

Everything about this vacation is different

We've made it to Lake Erie, and our "home" for this week is amazing.  Right now, I'm sitting in a sun room area with the windows open, feeling the cool breeze as I watch the whitecaps on the lake.  Everything about this vacation is different in every way...no kids, no pets, just Andrew and I, close to home...and healing.  After the school year we had, the healing is being felt, and I'm so grateful.

Two beautiful days in June

The last two days have been absolutely gorgeous.  In fact, I actually got cold in bed last night!  If it was like this all year round, I might even be willing to forego snow...although I still need my midwest autumn days!

My mother-in-law is still here until Thursday.  I've so loved having her here.  We have found a routine where basically I let her do whatever she wants and and she tries to stay out of my way.  That sounds far more negative than it actually is.  I'm so glad she was willing to come this week.

Next week, Andrew and I are headed to vacation.  It is the first time we have taken a longer vacation by ourselves in over 20 years.  We've had some long weekends, but this is an actual vacation.  Lake Erie, here we come.  

I truly can't say enough about how grateful I am for these moments in life!

These have been the best two days

These two days of this weekend have been everything I hoped they would be and exactly what I needed.  Honestly, I almost can't put it into words.  These days feel like they have been such a gift and I feel incredibly recharged.

To begin, the weather has been absolutely perfect, ideal late May weather.  No rain, 70's with no humidity, and last night it even got down into the 40's.  It's been amazing.

Yesterday, I was able to take off the entire day and not really do any work, either at home or school or church related.  It was wonderful.  The kids all came over for dinner last night.  We had a taco bar for dinner, then played a round of croquet, and then played a game Thomas and Lyndi had given Andrew for his birthday back in January.  We ate, we laughed, we loved.  Sounds cliche, but it was such a spectacular evening.

Today was another awesome day.  Again the perfect weather was in place.  I spent the day working on school things.  For a variety of reasons (some due to school employees) I am way behind where I would like to be in terms of getting reports out.  We are heading to our vacation next weekend, so I need to get them out this week no matter what.  And I will, but lots of hours will be involved.  Anyway, our gift to Andrew's mother for Mother's Day was a nice dinner out.  Since my work schedule may be crazy this week, I suggested we go out this evening.  It was a spectacular dinner.  We ordered a bottle of wine, and even Andrew's mother liked it.  We had an appetizer, amazing food, and brought dessert home.  Then we sat around and watched some episodes of  Modern Family, which makes my MIL laugh so hard that her stomach hurts.

I hate that I don't get to hang around with Andrew and his mom this week, but I'm grateful that I feel so incredibly recharged and ready to face work again.  I am more blessed than I can put into words. 

A perfect Saturday morning

This Saturday morning is about as perfect as one ever gets.  The weather is beyond gorgeous...sunny and comfortable.  The kids are coming over this evening, but the house is already picked up and we have nowhere else we have to be today.  I can honestly just sit this morning if I want to, and I'm so incredibly grateful for that.

We had dinner with a dear friend last night, and I'm so grateful we were still able to make that happen.  We got home about 9:30 and then all of us went to bed...that's the kind of week it had been.  It's important though, to take time to make those things happen.

There are so many things I want to do this summer, and honestly, it already feels like there isn't enough time.  But still, for today, I'm going to sit and enjoy this incredibly perfect Saturday morning!

Just as drained and exhausted as I expected to be

Today was my uncle's funeral.  My uncle was a complicated man who often had fairly complicated relationships with family members.  There was always a lot of drama involved in that side of the family, but we were all still family.  I completely understood why the family had asked that Andrew lead the service.  Andrew knew him, knew his "quirks", and is a religious man who isn't afraid of public speaking.  My husband did a fabulous job.  If my uncle could have chosen a service, he would have chosen exactly what was done today.

I delighted in seeing my cousins and various other family members today.  The kids are all grown up with kids of their own now, and they have all married very well.  I'm thrilled our family has grown the way it has, but since we see each other so incredibly rarely, it was also a little heartbreaking.  Family is a blessing.

I'm absolutely exhausted.  I'm drained.  I'm saddened by my uncle's passing, and of course the memories can add to the emotions.  I'm so grateful to have the weekend to recover before having to work again Monday!

We've been out of school a week, and what a week it has been

It's hard to believe that we have only been out of school a week.  It's wonderful it has only been a week, but a lot has gone on.  We had a couple of laid-back days at school before beginning the weekend, but of course I do the school reports and those need to get done.  Teachers, however, were not as on top of getting info to me in a timely manner, so those are going slowly.

Friday evening we ventured to my cousin's birthday party.  It was lovely to see everyone, although it was day 2 that week of nothing but steady rain.  Saturday we decided to spend the day working around the house after we went to a grad party, because that was going to be the only dry time before Monday when we were hosting some family.  Sunday, we decided to venture to family cemeteries, and Andrew and I really enjoyed spending the day together.  Our sweet Janey girl was able to join us as well, and she's just as great a car traveler as Abby was.

Monday morning, we received news that my uncle passed away overnight.  This uncle is the brother-in-law of my dad.  He'd been in poor health for quite a while, but it was still unexpected at the time.  Instead of getting the house picked up on Monday as I had planned, I spent the day contacting family and communicating information.  My poor sister was tasked with having to tell our grandmother, as it is her son-in-law.  Grandma is really struggling with this news.  It turns out that my aunt & cousin would like Andrew to perform the funeral.  This was also very unexpected, and definitely stressful as well because Andrew is at his mom's house until late tomorrow night.  The funeral is Friday, and I'm already exhausted and drained.  I've been helping to get pictures ready and other things while still trying to get school reports done and take care of wrapping up the school year, in addition to checking in on Grandma.  

My poor mother-in-law is coming back with Andrew to visit for a week, and I'm certain she is beginning to think that our lives are stress and chaos 24/7 because that seems to be what happens when she is here!

Sending out prayers for my aunt and cousins.

Another year in the books

Andrew got home about an hour ago, and that officially makes 30 years in public education for him, 27 in his current district.  Under the rules when he started, he would have been able to retire this year, but even when that was an option, we never really considered it.  We'll see what the next year brings in public education and then he'll make a decision if 32 will be it or if he'll go a bit longer.

I only worked until Noon today, and honestly, it's all very glorious.  No summer camp this summer, so we have so much freedom in our scheduling and planning, and so much peace and quiet!  We definitely needed it after the craziness of the school year.  Yesterday when I got home, I got so much stuff done.  I made the comment to co-workers today that it sure is funny what  you can get done when you aren't mentally and emotionally drained when you get home from work!

We have a few fun plans this weekend, but mostly I'm just looking forward to thinking about the freedom of our summer!

I was pretty sure I was going to react that way

Today, finally, was our last day of school.  Every year we have a family picnic and then the annual "Egg Drop" activity.  Every year we hope for rain, and even though it always shows it might, it never does.  We've had some really cloudy days, but never rain.  Last week, it looked like it might rain today, then by this weekend, not really.  By last night it was looking much more likely, and then by this morning the day looked like a complete washout (and it has been).  So no picnic, but we still did the egg drop.

I kept having this vision that I would get to today, it would be over, and I would be come an emotional mess.  The relief of having this wretched year behind me would just get to be too much.  That's pretty close to what happened.  We have several really awesome students that are moving away or are not returning for other reasons next year.  I gave out some hugs, and when one family in particular came by to say goodbye, I couldn't stop the tears from falling.  I was able to hang out in my office and the tears just kept falling.  I was able to get myself together in order to say goodbye to my coworkers, and I headed home.  I was mentally and emotionally exhausted.  I've also come to realize that there is a lot of anger regarding things that were taken from us this year by a group of absolutely ridiculous parents.  I took a nap when I got home, and I'm still feeling pretty drained.  I get to sleep in about an hour later though for the entire summer (and later on off days) and I'm soooooo happy about that.

I'm grateful we made it through the year, and I'm grateful the summer is upon us.  Thirteen weeks of no school days are stretched out in front of us.  And I'm really looking forward to a good night sleep!

The last weekend of the school year

This weekend is the last weekend of the school year.  I keep reminding myself that this time next week I'll be able to sleep in for Memorial Day, and even the next 12 Sundays after still won't feel awful.  The workweek-to-weekend ratio isn't as rough in the summer.

Last evening we had dinner with some friends.  It's an hour drive each way, and given the exhaustion I've been feeling it felt a little tough at first, but we had a lovely evening.  The best part is that I was able to sit by Ellen, and I rarely get to visit with her even at these dinners.  I'm so grateful for that.

Today was a hard day.  I spent several hours at my mom's house, but we didn't get anything accomplished.  I kept telling myself it was okay that we just sat and visited.  I don't think Mom was up for much more, and although I feel badly because it is going to be awhile before I'm up there again to work.  I then went to visit my grandmother, and that was a rough visit.  She looks absolutely awful.  She couldn't understand why I was there so "early" (it was 2pm) and she had no idea what day it was.  She wasn't certain the last time she had seen my sister or when my aunt had called her.  She looked pretty awful as well.  I kissed her on the forehead when I left and told her I loved her.  I absolutely hate that she is "living" like this.  I miss her even though I can still see her.  I couldn't help but think about all the memories of she and Grandpa, and I'm so grateful for them.  And I'm missing my dad a little extra hard today, too.

That carefree summer I've been banking on to help reset my attitude is almost here!

We've really almost made it

Last evening was our last big school event of the year.  It was overcast and a bit chilly, but honestly, that seemed to kind of fit the year.  The best part is that we were finished by 8:30, which is the earliest that's happened.  Definitely not sad about that.  And now we only have two more full days and a half day.  Our admin team was talking about how hard this year has been, and it's hard to believe the things we had forgotten about.  We often forget about the parent who accused us of sharing confidential information with someone who "called" to talk about her child, even though we were not only able to share logistical explanations for why the story wasn't possible, but showed her our call logs for 90 days showing that the phone call never happened.  We forget about the staff member who refused to come to work when we told him that leaving over an hour early for over 30 days because he wanted to coach a sport wasn't really workable for the classroom.  These are BIG situations, but the rest of the school year was such a shit show that these don't even rank for the year.

We aren't hosting a summer camp this week, and with the timing of dates, we actually have an extra week of summer this year.  We are so counting on summer to reset ourselves.  Just three more days!!!

I graduated from college thirty years ago today

Exactly thirty years ago today I graduated with my accounting degree.  I can't believe it's been THIRTY YEARS!  Where did all that time go?  I'm not going to pretend it feels like yesterday, but I'll be honest, my 20's don't feel like they were that long ago.  I have a photo of that day of my friends who came to my ceremony.  We'd been friends since high school, and in one case, even longer.  Those friends are all still part of my life.  It may not be daily contact, but we'd all be there for each other if needed.  Life has been full of so many blessings.

Mother's Day 2026

Mother's Day has arrived again.  It has arrived at the end of another school musical week, and that brings absolute exhaustion.  The Friday after the musical is always such a hard day, and I went to bed at 8pm that night.  I was supposed to spend yesterday working at my mom's house, but between my exhaustion and my allergies it felt like more than I could handle.  Andrew and I spent yesterday doing a bit of shopping instead, and today we literally just hung around the house.  I've been spending some time trying to get things organized (or reorganized), as well as cleaning.  Honestly, it's been exactly the day that I would choose.

I feel a little badly that I didn't see my mom this weekend, but we are seeing lots of each other these days.  Of course, I still wished her a 'Happy Mother's Day' today.  Andrew called his mom, and we are going to take our moms out to dinner at some point.  Catherine, Thomas, and Lyndi all texted today.  It was so sweet of them.  It was odd not to see any of my kids at all though.  And of course, as a parent, there is always the realization that I have three children and no contact with one of them.  Mother's Day also brings up all the memories of those years that I wanted so desperately to be a mother, and I also can't help but think about all of the moms that are no longer with us.  It just seems like a challenging day for so many.

I'm incredibly blessed to have my amazing kiddos, and I'm grateful for so many things.  I'm also incredibly grateful that there are only eight more days of school remaining!

This weekend was a wonderful beginning to May

This weekend was a really nice beginning to the crazy month of May.  Andrew and I were exhausted at the end of the work week and went bed at 9:30 on a Friday night.  We are not in our 20's anymore! :)

Saturday morning I got up and went up to help at my mom's house.  She wasn't feeling great, and I ended up not being there very long.  It was such a gorgeous day, and I decided to make a quick trip to the cemetery.  I miss them all very much.  That evening we had dinner plans we are best friends, and it's always a fabulously fun evening with them.

Sunday was another absolutely gorgeous weather day.  Catherine had been at our house Friday evening to help with some weeding and other outdoor chores, and Andrew wanted to finish trimming.  I worked in the garages and was able to make a good deal of progress.  Honestly, I was delighted to soak up the gorgeous weekend weather.

Today is the exact opposite of that gorgeous weather, but I don't really mind.  It was a quiet day at school, except for the very wet carlines.  But, it is the only evening I'm home this week, and I'm so very happy to sit in my house and watch the rain fall outside.

Only eleven more days of school this year.  We can do this!

A year of marriage

Today, Thomas and Lyndi are celebrating their first year of marriage.  It's hard to believe it has been a year, and it's crazy to think that we put on a wedding the week prior to my craziest week at school.  Holy moly.

I am so grateful that Thomas found Lyndi, and I'm incredibly grateful that she puts up with him.  They are so, so young, and I worry about that, but they truly do love each other.  Thomas was a bit of a putz in the beginning of their relationship, but I couldn't be happier that these two have found each other.

They took a trip this week to celebrate since they never really had a honeymoon last year.  I hope they have many, many happy years together!

This month took forever

I can't believe today is the last day of April.  Not because the month flew by, but because it feels like it took forever to get here.  I mentioned today to my co-workers that Easter was only 3-1/2 weeks ago, and we all felt that couldn't possibly be right.  I can only hope the summer moves as slowly as April. :)

Tomorrow though, May does finally arrive!  We only have fourteen student days remaining.  That doesn't make me sad at all.  In addition to all of the crap we have dealt with at school, life in the world, and especially our country, feels really, really hard.  Gas this week jumped an entire dollar and is $4.99/gal.  It's almost double what we were paying just six weeks ago.  This comes at a time when Andrew is starting to contemplate retiring from teaching, and when my school's enrollment was already struggling, and these gas prices won't help.  Things feel precarious.

I'm going to try to remember that each day, I "get to."  I get to wake up and spend the day with great kids and co-workers who are literally the best on earth, and then I get to come home and spend an evening in a house I love with my awesome husband and our fabulous pets.  And if I'm really lucky, I might even get to hang out with my kids from time-to-time.  I should wake up each day and be glad for whatever I "get to" do, so that is going to be my goal.   And the first day of May seems like a great day to start.

A beautiful day for my dad's birthday

Today is another year of not being able to celebrate my dad on his birthday.  It's an absolutely gorgeous day.  With a birthday at the end of April, I have so many memories of celebrating dad on perfect weather days.  Dad's birthday on a Sunday is particularly memorable.  As a child, Sundays were the only day might dad might not work.  I miss him more than I can even put into words, but I also know that anyone who has lost a parent understands what I mean.

There was a part of me that really thought Grandma might not wake up today.  It's hard to see her living the way that she is and the way that she never wanted to be.  I really thought maybe it would be too much for her to face another birthday of my Dad without him here, and that she would be ready to go see him.  Grandpa has been gone over 21 years, and I just suspect she is really to see them all again.

Andrew will be home in about an hour.  He and Thomas had a spectacular weekend together, and I know they loved getting to see Andrew's mother.  I know she loved having them.

I'm feeling emotional about a lot of things right now, and I can't help but feel some changes are on the horizon.  I'm working on holding on to a peaceful feeling and for being grateful for the blessings in life.

This is my kind of Saturday morning

This morning is so incredibly peaceful, and so incredibly needed.  As much as I love my husband, and as much as I do miss having my kids around more, this peaceful morning is exactly what I needed.  The three animals are all sound asleep here in the living room with me.  The weather is sunny and cool, and I can have the windows open and listen to the sounds of nature that are all around me.  I have plenty of things I want to get done and I'll get to them later.  There will be baseball on TV and maybe listening to some radio.  But for right now, I'm going to soak up every second of this quiet peace that I can!  And of course it is a Saturday which makes it all even better!

Draft weekend

Andrew and Thomas have been looking forward to this weekend for quite some time.  The draft is in Pittsburgh, and the guys have gone over to partake.  They left last night after Andrew finished parent conferences so they weren't at the first round.  But, they have spent the day in the city today doing draft things, they are at the draft tonight, and they'll be in the city again tomorrow before heading home on Sunday.

Honestly, I've been looking forward to this weekend as well.  Since it isn't fair to the dog to be alone for an entire day, I stay home with Janey.  This means I don't have to leave the house if I don't want to!  I can get the house picked up, and maybe even doing some photo digitizing.  I can also sleep as much as I want!  I'm very excited about a weekend with no obligations...other than making sure Janey gets four walks a day!

Right now we are receiving a soaking rain which makes it even more lovely to just get to hang out at home.  It's bringing a cool front through, and I'm happy that we won't be having more 80's right now.  Have I mentioned our house stinks?  I'm not going to get into it, but we need to be able to leave the house open to air out, so cooler weather is beneficial.  And tomorrow it is supposed to be very cold, and I'm so very excited about that!

We have 18 days of school remaining.  It's hard to fathom that I have to tolerate some of these parents for another 18 schools days.  It's also a little hard to believe that in four weeks it will be Memorial Day weekend.  I am 100% not sad about seeing this school year come to an end.

What a week!

This was a heck of a week.  Andrew regained his voice by the end of the week, so we are grateful for that.  He also had cataract surgery Thursday morning.  We are very grateful that also went well.  He jokes that he will be going back to work tomorrow as a whole new person!  Having some extra time off has helped him to get ahead on the classes he'll be teaching next year, but that is a post of its own.

Thomas also managed to land himself in the hospital Thursday evening.  We aren't entirely certain exactly what happened, but our best guess is that there was a medicine interaction that proved problematic.  His system is just sensitive and fragile.  We left to drive the hour to the hospital and got there at 9:30 Thursday night, then I had to drive the hour home and let the dog out, thinking I'd be going back in the morning, but Thomas ended up being released and I was on my way back up in the middle of the night, so it was 3am before I was in bed.  I went to work later in the day than normal, but needed to make sure I got there because we had to fire a teacher that day.  That was just a really long two days.  Holy moly.

The good news is that Thomas is doing okay, and Andrew and I were able to meet him and Lyndi for dinner this evening.  Yesterday, Andrew and I made a trip to Columbus to visit our friends we hadn't seen since last summer.  It was such a needed visit, although the two hour trip each way was an exhausting drive.

Today before dinner, I spent the day at my mom's working on her house.  It was a actually a little bit fun as we came across some old memories and things we had forgotten about.  Next week Andrew will be gone all weekend, and I'm looking forward to getting some pictures digitized and organized.

I'm exhausted and we are headed into the busiest part of the school year.  But, there are only 23 more school days to go, and then we are going to have a wonderfully carefree summer!

This past week

Andrew's mom went home today.  I miss her already!  I so wished she lived closer, but then if she did she wouldn't need to stay here for long visits, and I love having her.  At the same time, I'm always ready to regain my space after her visit.

Andrew ended up being sick all week.  He has completely lost his voice.  There is absolutely nothing there.  This is day five, and part of him is panicking.  He went back to urgent care, but it seems to still be just a virus.  He feels so much better, but the voice is not returning at all.  As someone who totally relies on his voice for his job, he is growing concerned.  I suspect it he just needs some more time.  

Catherine has also been sick this weekend.  Everyone was going to come over for dinner, but we didn't want her to share her germs, and she didn't need to be exposed to Andrew's germs either.  Thomas and Lyndi did come over and spend the night.  We ordered some food and had a blast (pun!!) watching Artemis splash down.  I love sharing historical events with my kids, and especially Thomas.

We are down to 28 days of school to go.  Can't wait for summer!

Easter 2026

Today was a very nice day, in spite of Andrew being sick.  He started running a fever last night, and felt lousy.  I slept in a different room.  Today he has not had much of a fever, but his throat really hurts and he is achy.  The rapid test came back negative, so they are doing the throat culture but are treating it as just a virus and he'll have to ride it out.

My mom and the kids were here.  Fortunately, we were having a fairly simply meal, so Andrew being unavailable didn't really affect anything.  My cleaning is a different story, but I still got it done.  None of us slept overly well last night, and I suspect it will be an early night tonight.

It's a chilly day, and although cloudy earlier, the sun came out laster in the day.  It feels like the "official" beginning of spring now.  I'm so grateful that our family spent the day together, I'm so grateful I took lots of pictures, and I'm so grateful that the house is mostly cleaned up and put back together!  Tomorrow is another day off as well.  So grateful.

The Easter baskets are ready

Easter is happening here tomorrow.  If I'm totally honest, this holiday has always been a struggle for me.  We never particularly had set traditions as a kid, although as I became a teenager we always spent the holiday with my Dad's side.  Because my family wasn't religious, it was just more of a "whatever" holiday.

When I got married, it generally made more sense to spend the holiday with my in-laws.  After all, they are very religious.  At the same time, there were years when that caused resentment because sometimes I wanted to be with my family, or just not have to travel.  Now, my MIL, whom I adore, comes and spends a week or two with us each year for Easter.  It's still tough to balance my MIL's religious devotion with my mother's anti-religious feelings. 

And now our kids are on their own.  Thomas and Lyndi have her side to visit as well, and Catherine and Zeke just kind of "do" whatever.  I was never good about coloring eggs or doing egg hunts when the kids were little so it's not like we are missing any traditions in that regard, but I do still miss them being little.

Life feels really, really heavy right now, but I'm grateful for a few days of quiet and peace!

Listening to a Cincinnati legend

A couple of weeks ago, that Marty Brennaman, the very long-time announcer of the Cincinnati Reds, was doing a fundraiser and speaking at the high school in the next community over.  I find these kinds of events are normally way over-priced, but this was very reasonable.  Andrew agreed it sounded like fun so I purchased two tickets.  I was sure it would be packed, but there were only about 70 people in attendance.  He talked for nearly an hour and then answered questions for another 30 minutes.  We had such a good time!  He talked about how his favorite team was the 1990 Reds that went wire-to-wire (the first team in MLB history to do so), and he talked about his many, many years announcing with Joe Nuxhall, he talked about the Griffeys, and so many other wonderful things.  In some ways, being that close to him was a life-long dream come true.  I'm so grateful that Andrew is a big baseball fan, and I'm so very glad that he became a Reds fan.  It was such a great evening!

It's time to go back to work again

My week of being sick...I mean, my week off (hmph) has come to an end.  I didn't start functioning until Tuesday, and I didn't actually feel well until Thursday evening.  I'm trying to be grateful that I wasn't supposed to be working while I was so icky, but there is a small part of me that is a little bitter that my week wasn't as productive as I had hoped it would be.  Andrew's mom arrives on Tuesday, so I'll be spending tomorrow evening doing LOTS of housework.

One thing I did manage was to see my grandmother both on Tuesday and again this afternoon.  I'll be honest, it's really awful seeing her this way.  She isn't suffering greatly, but this is never how she would want to be living her life.  This isn't really her.  She will be much happier when she is reunited with my grandfather and my dad.

Only 36 more days of school.  We can do this!

Family FaceTime

For Christmas this year, we gave my MIL a gift card towards an iPad.  The plan was to get it for her before she left, but life ended up being busier than we had anticipated, and we found out things weren't as in stock as we would have liked.  We ended up ordering one and having it shipped to her, but it didn't arrive before Andrew came home.  Last weekend, Thomas and Lyndi went to visit her and they were able to get the iPad all set up for her.  Thomas texted today and wanted to do a family FaceTime with everyone.  Unfortunately, my MIL couldn't get it to work, but the rest of us (including Catherine) joined in.  I hadn't seen Catherine in about six weeks, and it had been three weeks since seeing Thomas and Lyndi.  I loved having the opportunity to see my kids and do a quick check-in.  I appreciate the technology to help keep us close.

The beginning of spring break

I have been on spring break for about 29 hours.  And I've felt lousy for about 26 of them.  Ugh!  I could tell I had some drainage earlier in the week, but as soon as I got home yesterday I had a scratchy throat.  I am fairly certain it has developed into a sinus infection.  Not how I wanted to spend this gorgeous day on the first day of my break.

It is what it is though.  I'm watching basketball, although I don't really care about the games at this point.  Andrew attended a memorial service this afternoon for a colleague's mother, and was able to stop in at the service for my co-worker's mother who was also our neighbor.  This evening he has gone to. Dayton to have dinner with friends.  I'm sure this wasn't exactly the day he had planned either.

Fingers crossed I feel better tomorrow after a good night of sleep!

We made more awesome memories!

This was our "accidental trip" weekend, where I had thrown out a request to hang out in a group chat that included our friend in KC.  We were all checked into our motel in IL by mid-afternoon, and we headed out to begin our fun!  We hit two wineries, a Mexican restaurant, and a wine bar.  This morning we got up and had breakfast before we left.  We are so grateful that Catherine and her boyfriend (we'll call him Zeke) were willing to come and stay with Janey this weekend.  To say that we laughed is an understatement.  We also talked about our summer plans for our trip in July, and after about 15 suggestions and two hours of planning, we decided to stick to our original plan and stay with our friend.

I'm so glad that our friends enjoy these times as much as we do and are willing and able to share these weekends.  It was so wonderful to get away and not worry about being responsible for a bit.  And now, only one week until spring break!

The shutdown started six years ago

Six years ago today is a day I'll never forget.  I spent the day with high school seniors, and even had my own sweet girls in class.  We knew the governor was holding a press conference in the afternoon, and we all strongly suspected that the schools were going to be shut down.  I remember some of the seniors were worried about graduation, and I vividly remember assuring them that this wouldn't impact graduation as it was over two whole months away.  Oh boy, was I ever wrong!

When the announcement was made that evening (also a Thursday), it included the caveat that schools could remain open for the next day and the following Monday in order to get things arranged.  Our school originally planned to be open the next day, but the county health department shut us down because they were already concerned an exposure had occurred.  I remember sitting on the couch that evening, just mindlessly playing games and scrolling on my computer because all of a sudden I literally had just about nothing to do.  There would be no church, no work, no baseball for Andrew...almost nothing to occupy my time.  The beginning is so very vivid.

And there were some really hard times, and I know I'll never completely understand how things impacted my kids, and honestly, most of their generation.  I know the pandemic hastened the decline of my father-in-law, and I regret that family gatherings had to end and were never revived.  At the same time, I loved the amount of time the four of us had together.  Those few months held some fear, but they also held a lot of love and togetherness, and I'll cherish those memories.

Here we are six years later.  So much has changed for our family in the last six years, but I am so grateful for so many of the changes.  I love my job.  My kids are in healthy and loving relationships and living on their own.  I am grateful for the life Andrew and I are living. And this weekend we get to hang out with our good friends.  We are so incredibly blessed!

It's easier when it's such a gorgeous day!

Last night was that annual pain in the rear end when we lose an hour of sleep.  As a kid I always informed everyone that I was going to lose an hour of awake, but now I understand that isn't at all the way it works.

While I appreciate the extra hour of sunshine at the end of the day, the adjustment is so rough.  I have to admit though, that when the day is as gorgeous as it was today, it makes that missing hour of sleep much more tolerable.

I'm also grateful that my school attempts to schedule our work day on the Monday after the time change.  It doesn't always work out, but when it does, it is delightful...and that is the case tomorrow!

Open toe shoe season, an evening of basketball, the best kind of weekend

That is a lot to put in a title!  I guess maybe I need to write more often!

It RAINED this week.  I mean it was crazy.  According to a graphic I saw yesterday, our town was the big "winner" with over 7.5" of rain in three days.  That is CRAZY.   Everything is wet and muddy, needless to say.  But yesterday, it was actually in the 70's, and I laughed as all three of us in admin wore open toe shoes.  The season has arrived!

My aunt and uncle gave us their tickets to the UD basketball game last evening.  We gave up our season tickets when we moved here.  We hadn't been back to the arena in 13 years!  I'll be honest, I don't love the changes that were made, but we enjoyed the game.  Unfortunately, it was a loss.  As we (Andrew) drove home, I watched my alma mater play their final regular season game.  They were playing our arch rival for an UNDEFEATED season.  We were able to watch the second half from home.  The game went into overtime, but the Redhawks are undefeated for the regular season.  Woohoo!!!!

Today was a day where I planned to get a lot done.  We rarely have a weekend ay where we have nowhere to be, and next weekend we will be out of town.  Tomorrow was supposed to be a day where I would spend a few hours up at my Mom's house helping to clean and go through things, just as I've been doing most weekends since August.  However, my sister let me know today that she was going to need to work tomorrow and since Mom had plans later in the day anyway, I don't have to make the trip up!  So I truly, truly, get some time off this weekend and get things done around here.  It's fabulous!  I feel like I'll never be caught up around here, but I'll do the best I can!