My wonderful husband is making dinner this evening. All three kids decided to "help" (and actually, there is a lot to be done when making tacos), and I am enjoying the sounds and conversations (and of course the smells!) that are coming from two rooms away. I'll be honest, as the chaos (organized chaos) is occurring in the kitchen, I'm calmly sitting at my computer and just relaxing. That is until, my husband walks in.
Hubby: Would you suggest having one can of refried beans or two?
me: Definitely two. I've really been craving refried beans lately.
Hubby: Unfortunately, we only have one can.
me: Then why did you even ask if we should have two?
Hubby: I have no idea.
He then turns and walks back into the kitchen.
All right then.
Friday, January 20, 2012
Might be a storm coming!
Supposedly, there is a winter storm coming. Yeah, whatever. This winter has made me rather cynical about winter weather. There was supposed to be snow yesterday, and well, we got a dusting last evening. Now, I do acknowledge that where my parents live, just 30 miles north, they received about two inches. Here though, nothing. We haven't even managed to have a fog delay this year! Anyway, they are calling for not exactly snow this evening, but a freezing rain/wintry mix. Timing is perfect (unless of course, one hopes for a snow day!) to pretty much just stay in tonight and not go anywhere. That is precisely my plan. And what shall we be doing? CLEANING. That's right folks, the children have become quite lazy and complacent in their bedrooms, and we are going to take care of that starting this afternoon when they get home from school. I say starting, because I have a feeling this could take all weekend. No problem, we've pretty much got all weekend with few interruptions. I know the kids are not looking forward to it, and frankly, neither am I. Must be done though, and leaving them to accomplish it on their own CLEARLY doesn't work. HT in particular is a huge challenge. He is going to someday be on that TV show Hoarders...he does not see the reason for trash cans. After all, he never throws anything away! Because of this, I went up and did some prep work while they are still at school. I guarantee he'll never miss the trash that I managed to clear out of his room. Ah, this shall be such a joy this weekend!
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Braces OFF!
I'm sorry it took me three days to write about it, but on Monday, JR's braces finally came off! We knew as of our last appointment in December that this would be the end, and to say that he was excited is an understatement. He was literally counting down the days, and telling everyone he would see that Monday was the big day. We also had JC, HT, and my husband scheduled for dental cleanings and exams that afternoon. Because it is all in the same office and it's a half hour drive, I was thrilled by the gas we would be saving. However, by the end of the afternoon my patience had long since expired. We were there OVER THREE AND A HALF HOURS. No one should have to spend that much time in a small dental office waiting room. The kids did well for the most part though, and I must say, JR's teeth look really great. We treated the kids to Friendly's Ice Cream for dinner and dessert, and it was a great way to celebrate his braces coming off!
Pop! goes the Christmas present
I had asked for a "real" popcorn maker for Christmas. I'll be honest, I'm pretty much addicted to popcorn. I have it as a snack probably five evenings a week. It's definitely my biggest vice, but I figure as far as vices go, it could be much worse (nice justification, right)! And I didn't just want an air popper...I already have one of those. I wanted something that really made the popcorn taste good. I know that I don't need all the calories of movie theater popcorn, but I wanted something that tasted better than air popping. However, after spending a couple of hundred dollars to do the final repairs on our chimney (the never ending project)* I decided that a popcorn machine was too much to ask for Christmas, and I rescinded my request. My wonderful husband found a good deal on a table/counter top model, and I LOVE IT! The popcorn tastes AWESOME! I even like it better than the microwave popcorn, and as a bonus it's cheaper and healthier. Love it! The kids have even commented on how they love the smell in the house after I pop the popcorn. Kudos to my hubby!!!!
*Upon re-reading before posting it has occurred to me that technically this isn't the final repair. When the chimney was put upright this summer back against the house, some settling occurred that caused cracks in the plaster walls in our living room that need to be repaired. Like I said, it's the never ending project! My dad advised us to wait until we were sure everything was done settling to have it fixed so that we only had to do it once. So, THAT will be the final repair of the never ending project!
*Upon re-reading before posting it has occurred to me that technically this isn't the final repair. When the chimney was put upright this summer back against the house, some settling occurred that caused cracks in the plaster walls in our living room that need to be repaired. Like I said, it's the never ending project! My dad advised us to wait until we were sure everything was done settling to have it fixed so that we only had to do it once. So, THAT will be the final repair of the never ending project!
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Sometimes it feels like a lose-lose situation
As I mentioned in my last post, my sister and I don't always get along. According to her (and yes, she's told me this) I was an overbearing and nosy older sister. My sister has some serious privacy issues, and that is one reason I find it odd that she moved back to our hometown after law school. I remember when she was choosing her undergraduate school, she informed both my parents and I that she would let us know when she had made her decision and we were not to ask until she decided to tell us. I'll be honest, it's been 18 years, but it still bugs me a little bit that my parents didn't take that opportunity to point out that they were helping to pay for college and that her attitude was rude and unnecessary. When she bought the house she currently lives in, I didn't find out until my dad mentioned that a glider would look really good on her front porch, and I pointed out that she didn't have a front porch. My father replied, "Oh, I guess you don't know she bought a new house." Nope, hadn't heard. I had heard plenty though, when my parents made the mistake of inviting me to join them as they went along with her to open houses. She was not at all pleased to see me and made it clear, along with mentioning I was not to express any opinions.
This all pales in comparison though, to my wedding day. I am so grateful I had the foresight NOT to make her my maid of honor, but felt obligated to have her in the wedding. She took every opportunity to let me know that my wedding was a huge inconvenience to her, even though a) my parents paid for her gown, and b) I actually wanted to be married in May, but because of her grad school finals I didn't...leaving my only options because of other family issues to be early February or wait another year. She did not attend any showers, and because she was four hours away I understood. She also did absolutely nothing to help in any way with anything else related to the wedding. The morning of the wedding my maid of honor and I were at my parents' house and I mentioned that we would be going to the church at about 1:30, and my sister was aghast. Okay, actually furious is more the word. She could not believe that we needed to be there that early, and then yelled at me because she didn't even know what time the wedding was taking place. I calmly informed her that I had put it in writing by sending an invitation and I really didn't know what more she expected from me. She then informed me that she would be getting ready at home and she would get there when she got there. I asked her to please try to be there by 2:30 so that we could have our family pictures taken ahead of time. Mom assured me that ought to be workable, but my sister refused to make any assurances. Keep in mind this is all occurring before 1:00 and my parents lived four blocks from the church, so it ought to be plenty of time. When we arrived at the reception, she made her displeasure well known that I was requiring her to sit at the head table. She informed me that these were not her friends and she wanted to be down with the rest of the family. To this day, my maid of honor tells me how amazed she was that on one of the most important days of my life, my sister couldn't stop to think of anyone but herself, and she tells me that she was even more amazed that I never got angry or raised my voice or showed any signs of being upset. I vividly remember feeling that there was no way that I was going to allow my sister to upset me on my wedding day. Was she jealous that I was the center of attention? It could certainly be possible, but I think most people expect the bride to be the center of attention on her wedding day. I hope most people would think that I was by no means bridezilla when it came to my wedding...I think for the most part I was pretty laid back considering everything.
Why have I gone on and on about this? I'm really feeling like I'm in a tight spot. My sister continues to be absolutely rude and disrespectful to me. On many occasions my phone conversations with her have ended with me being in tears, and on more than one occasion when we've been at my parents' house I've become so upset by things that I've just left. My parents always tell me that they are sorry that it happens and that she can be so difficult, but no one ever tells her it isn't okay not to treat me that way. My husband would love to, but he knows that isn't such a good idea as an in-law. The part that bothers me the most is that she treats me this way in front of my children. She has had no qualms to tell me, in front of the kids, how much she doesn't like the way I'm handling a discipline situation. It's not like I'm pounding on them. However, if one of the kids chooses to wear nice clothes to the baseball field then they should expect that I'm not going to let them play on the playground. If something happens that I am correcting and they start to talk back to me, she gets angry when I tell them it's not okay to talk to me that way...after all, she feels that every child should be allowed to express him/herself if he/she has something to say, regardless of whether or not it's appropriate. If she has the kids and I ask for a timetable when they might be back, I get a shrug and, "When we're done." One time she had JR and was driving from Columbus up to my dad's place at the lake. We were trying to make our dinner plans, and she refused to answer any calls or texts. So, we had no idea when they would be returning or whether we needed to wait dinner or JR would have already eaten. As I've said before, I'm very, very grateful that she gives the kids the opportunities she gives them, but I worry about the message they get from her about us, specifically me. I'm pretty sure that she feels that she HAS to do these things because my husband and I can't afford to do many of them, and we are denying our children. I'm pretty sure she thinks I'm lazy because I'm a stay at home mom, and if I would just go get a job we'd be able to afford these things. The thing is, we don't want to be able to afford them. Both my husband and I WANT me to be home with the kids, and I think the kids prefer it this way too. This weekend I'd reached the point where I had decided that she could no longer take them if she was going to continue to speak to me that way. It was excruciating. The only people that were going to suffer by my decision were my children, and that isn't fair to them. My parents would also inevitably suffer as I think my sister would choose to cut myself, my husband, and my family out of her life if we made such a decision. After all, she already thinks we're pretty lousy parents. I'm not making it up, I've actually heard her tell the kids that if only I did this or that, things would be so much better. I don't want to make life awful for my parents, or have my kids suffer because of something over which they have no control. At the same time, I don't think my kids should have to be witness to the level of disrespect that she shows me. I really don't want this to be about me...she's good to the kids. I keep my mouth shut for them and the sake of my entire family. However, I don't want them to think that it is ever okay to treat anyone the way that she treats me, and frankly, I don't want them to let anyone treat them the way that she treats me, and that's what they see me doing. I'm feeling so conflicted and I've been praying for guidance, as I do with almost every decision I make involving the kids.
I know that I've really aired some dirty family laundry here, but this is my release. I just needed to get it off my chest. And if anyone has any suggestions, I'd be happy to listen. I know that I've only put my side of the story out there, but sadly, I think there are many others in my family who would concur with it all!
This all pales in comparison though, to my wedding day. I am so grateful I had the foresight NOT to make her my maid of honor, but felt obligated to have her in the wedding. She took every opportunity to let me know that my wedding was a huge inconvenience to her, even though a) my parents paid for her gown, and b) I actually wanted to be married in May, but because of her grad school finals I didn't...leaving my only options because of other family issues to be early February or wait another year. She did not attend any showers, and because she was four hours away I understood. She also did absolutely nothing to help in any way with anything else related to the wedding. The morning of the wedding my maid of honor and I were at my parents' house and I mentioned that we would be going to the church at about 1:30, and my sister was aghast. Okay, actually furious is more the word. She could not believe that we needed to be there that early, and then yelled at me because she didn't even know what time the wedding was taking place. I calmly informed her that I had put it in writing by sending an invitation and I really didn't know what more she expected from me. She then informed me that she would be getting ready at home and she would get there when she got there. I asked her to please try to be there by 2:30 so that we could have our family pictures taken ahead of time. Mom assured me that ought to be workable, but my sister refused to make any assurances. Keep in mind this is all occurring before 1:00 and my parents lived four blocks from the church, so it ought to be plenty of time. When we arrived at the reception, she made her displeasure well known that I was requiring her to sit at the head table. She informed me that these were not her friends and she wanted to be down with the rest of the family. To this day, my maid of honor tells me how amazed she was that on one of the most important days of my life, my sister couldn't stop to think of anyone but herself, and she tells me that she was even more amazed that I never got angry or raised my voice or showed any signs of being upset. I vividly remember feeling that there was no way that I was going to allow my sister to upset me on my wedding day. Was she jealous that I was the center of attention? It could certainly be possible, but I think most people expect the bride to be the center of attention on her wedding day. I hope most people would think that I was by no means bridezilla when it came to my wedding...I think for the most part I was pretty laid back considering everything.
Why have I gone on and on about this? I'm really feeling like I'm in a tight spot. My sister continues to be absolutely rude and disrespectful to me. On many occasions my phone conversations with her have ended with me being in tears, and on more than one occasion when we've been at my parents' house I've become so upset by things that I've just left. My parents always tell me that they are sorry that it happens and that she can be so difficult, but no one ever tells her it isn't okay not to treat me that way. My husband would love to, but he knows that isn't such a good idea as an in-law. The part that bothers me the most is that she treats me this way in front of my children. She has had no qualms to tell me, in front of the kids, how much she doesn't like the way I'm handling a discipline situation. It's not like I'm pounding on them. However, if one of the kids chooses to wear nice clothes to the baseball field then they should expect that I'm not going to let them play on the playground. If something happens that I am correcting and they start to talk back to me, she gets angry when I tell them it's not okay to talk to me that way...after all, she feels that every child should be allowed to express him/herself if he/she has something to say, regardless of whether or not it's appropriate. If she has the kids and I ask for a timetable when they might be back, I get a shrug and, "When we're done." One time she had JR and was driving from Columbus up to my dad's place at the lake. We were trying to make our dinner plans, and she refused to answer any calls or texts. So, we had no idea when they would be returning or whether we needed to wait dinner or JR would have already eaten. As I've said before, I'm very, very grateful that she gives the kids the opportunities she gives them, but I worry about the message they get from her about us, specifically me. I'm pretty sure that she feels that she HAS to do these things because my husband and I can't afford to do many of them, and we are denying our children. I'm pretty sure she thinks I'm lazy because I'm a stay at home mom, and if I would just go get a job we'd be able to afford these things. The thing is, we don't want to be able to afford them. Both my husband and I WANT me to be home with the kids, and I think the kids prefer it this way too. This weekend I'd reached the point where I had decided that she could no longer take them if she was going to continue to speak to me that way. It was excruciating. The only people that were going to suffer by my decision were my children, and that isn't fair to them. My parents would also inevitably suffer as I think my sister would choose to cut myself, my husband, and my family out of her life if we made such a decision. After all, she already thinks we're pretty lousy parents. I'm not making it up, I've actually heard her tell the kids that if only I did this or that, things would be so much better. I don't want to make life awful for my parents, or have my kids suffer because of something over which they have no control. At the same time, I don't think my kids should have to be witness to the level of disrespect that she shows me. I really don't want this to be about me...she's good to the kids. I keep my mouth shut for them and the sake of my entire family. However, I don't want them to think that it is ever okay to treat anyone the way that she treats me, and frankly, I don't want them to let anyone treat them the way that she treats me, and that's what they see me doing. I'm feeling so conflicted and I've been praying for guidance, as I do with almost every decision I make involving the kids.
I know that I've really aired some dirty family laundry here, but this is my release. I just needed to get it off my chest. And if anyone has any suggestions, I'd be happy to listen. I know that I've only put my side of the story out there, but sadly, I think there are many others in my family who would concur with it all!
Sunday, January 15, 2012
All home safe and sound
The kids all returned last evening, very happy and very safe. They had a wonderful trip. They had received gift cards for Christmas to the Notre Dame bookstore and enjoyed making their choices. I love that JC chose a Notre Dame headband and earrings of the leprechaun...so cute! The highlight though, was clearly the locker room tour and being able to walk out into Notre Dame Stadium. How amazing for them! They even got to touch the "Play like a champion" sign that hangs on the way out. It was an incredible experience. Unfortunately, the men's basketball team lost to UConn, but they had pizza afterwards to drown their sorrows!
I am very, very grateful to my sister for being able to give my kids these opportunities. She's often not terribly nice to me, but there is absolutely no question that she adores my kids and is really great to them!
I am very, very grateful to my sister for being able to give my kids these opportunities. She's often not terribly nice to me, but there is absolutely no question that she adores my kids and is really great to them!
Friday, January 13, 2012
Today I'll be worrying...and praying
Apparently my answer to "Where is the snow?" is "Right here." We are receiving a couple of inches last night and in to today. Nothing major, although bitterly cold...windchills at zero or below. Today, my sister is taking the kids for their Christmas present to South Bend, IN to spend the night and do some things at Notre Dame. While I'm not terribly worried about their travel here, I'm pretty terrified of the travel up north. However, the rest of my family assures me that my sister will not take any unnecessary risks, and I've always vowed not to let my anxiety have a negative effect on my kids. So they are heading up later today, and I'll be doing lots, and lots, and lots of praying. Feel free to join me!
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