Strike day 2

I am still on strike today.  I am mom only when it is a matter of safety.  No, Robert you can not skip cough medicine tonight...you have a bad cough and can not keep the entire house awake.  I think the kids thought it was really fun last evening to make their own dinners.  However, the house is ridiculous at this point, and Andrew is frustrated.  He understands, but is frustrated.  I, on the other, am thoroughly enjoying myself.  It is amazing how much stress one can shed when one simply refuses to get wrapped up in it.  Andrew was so frustrated last night that he started following them around reminding them to do things.  I chatted with him later that in the long run, he isn't helping things.  Until they start doing their basic chores themselves (making beds, dirty clothes to the laundry, dishes in dishwasher) I am on strike.  And since they aren't doing their basic chores, I am not doing mine either.  Catherine is beginning to make more of an effort, Thomas is slightly better than normal, but Robert is a true teen and is pretty sure he can call my bluff.  Bad news kiddo...not bluffing.  As the oldest, he is the one I am bluffing with the least.  He is MORE than capable of putting his shoes away, getting dirty clothes to the laundry, making his bed, and performing simple daily tasks like throwing his trash away.  And yet, there on the floor of his bedroom this morning was yet another food wrapper.  He isn't even allowed to have food in his bedroom, and I'm finding the wrappers almost daily.  And that folks, is why I'm just done.

On strike

Please know that I am writing this post without irritation or anger.  It simply is what it is.

As of today, I am officially on strike.  I have spent the last nine weeks working my rear off in order to get our old house ready for sale, and I did 90% of the work by myself.  I am not complaining about this.  I did not have another job...except of course for being "mom" at home.  And of course for the several weeks prior to the move, I focused on packing and getting things ready...mostly by myself.  Again, I am not complaining.  That was a result of being a total control freak.  However, the children do not seem to be able to pick up after themselves...make their beds or take dirty clothes to the laundry room.  They can't even put their shoes in their room...they simply leave things where they are.  I had to ask three times last night for the children to put their plates in the dishwasher.  THREE TIMES!  So today I am going to sit and relax and enjoy life.  I refuse to do laundry or to clean or to pick up.  I simply refuse.  And I shall refuse until they can make their beds, etc.  This shall be interesting to see how long it takes them to get on board.

A little too close to home

There was another school shooting yesterday.  There are not words to describe how sick this makes me feel.  The four most important people in the world to me spend their days in a school, and two of them are at a middle school...just like the school with the fatal shooting yesterday.  And while geographically this school is no where near us, this one hits way, way too close to home.  Andrew has a college room mate who works at this school.  Fortunately, I learned about the shooting from him and not from a news source.  He was not at the school yesterday when the shootings occurred.  So terrifying.

Having my life back

This might sound overly dramatic, but I feel like I have my life back.  For the last nine weeks, I've been living in our new house but working in our old house.  The only days when I didn't go to the old house were days that I had scheduled with some other necessary activity...and working and organizing our new house was not considered a necessary activity.  Most days for the last nine weeks I've put my "new life" on hold and gone back to our "old life."  And in the meantime, some of our necessary activities have consisted of hospital/sickness of our youngest and my father as well as funerals.  I didn't realize how much stress I had been feeling until this weekend, when I didn't feel as though I had to be running back to the old house.  I felt such a tremendous weight lifted all weekend.  My husband even commented on how much happier and relaxed I seemed.

In addition to the stress, there was also an emotional toll of going back almost every day.  My life is here now, in our new home and our new town.  But almost every day, I was going back to our old house in our old town.  As the day would progress I would inevitably compare it to last year and what I would normally have been doing at that time...it's just the way I am.  But now I truly feel as though I can focus on life here...and let me assure that our house desperately needs that focus!  I am looking forward to feeling as though I am finally moving forward!

A rainy Saturday

I am grateful for the rainy Saturday today.  Andrew will be bringing Robert home from scouts in about an hour and we have nowhere to be the rest of the day.  None of us are feeling great, although none of us feel lousy, and I'm hoping we can really make some progress on getting this house put together.  It has been eleven weeks since I had no where to be on a Saturday, and I'm treasuring it.

Our old house is ready for sale!  We worked our rears off this week and it's ready to be listed.  I'm a little annoyed in that it was supposed to be listed Thursday and nothing has appeared yet.  I'm not going to be pleased if Monday comes and goes and there is nothing.  It is such a super huge relief to have that all done.

Happy Saturday!

I get it from my mother

One of the reasons it has taken us so long to get our house up for sale is that I am a perfectionist in certain things.  I believe if I am going to do it, I should do it 100% correctly or not do it at all.  This, strangely enough is why my house is often such a mess.  If I don't have time to scrub a room top to bottom, why should I do it at all?  Oh, I totally "get" that it needs to be cleaned, but that's my thought process.  And I've also realized that if I want a job done my way, I am the one who should complete that job.  With the exception of a few car loads that were taken by friends right before we moved, and of course the movers the day of the actual move, we have done absolutely everything ourselves.  Just us.  I am NOT complaining.  We had many, many offers of help.  However, we took virtually no one up on it.  Because not only do I prefer to do it myself, I HATE to burden others.  I do not like to ask for help.  I never have.

And after a conversation yesterday I definitely figured out where this trait comes from.  When my mother called to tell me about my father, she was also explaining how physically exhausted she is.  Not only is she caring for my father, but because my father is becoming more confined to only a few rooms of the house my mother felt those rooms needed some "sprucing up".  They have been repainted and new carpet was put on on Monday.  She mentioned that she is the one moving all of the furniture...and trust me when I tell you my parents do not own cheap furniture.  They buy the good stuff made of solid wood that is HEAVY.  As she was telling me this I thought to myself, "Why are you doing this?  Why on earth don't you ask us for help?"  Hello Pot, meet black Kettle!

Feeling at "home"

Why did I put quotations around "home"?  Because I'm not sure where that is these days.  Don't get me wrong, I know where I live, it just isn't "feeling" like home yet.  It did for a few days in September when life was not total chaos.  But, I've been spending at every day (except one, maybe two) at our old house trying to get it ready to list.  My friends would tell you there was nothing that really needed to be done and we should've just listed it, but my perfectionist tendencies were not going to let that happen!  As we've been emptying the attic, basement, and garage of the old house it has been dumped again into our living room, and I do not enjoy that...not one bit.  I feel as though we are, yet again, living in total clutter and I don't like it one bit.

The fact that I am spending so much time at our old house isn't helping the new house (or town) feel like home either.  I want to be comfortable (and comforted) by being here in our new house, but it just isn't there yet.  I know that we are going to get there, but I while I was dead on on how hard some things emotionally would be, I completely underestimated other things.

The good news is that we are signing the paperwork this evening to list our house.  By Friday morning, the realtor should be able to show it and I'll be able to stop running back and forth.  In fact, I get to spend the day here in the new place, although we'll be back this evening, and probably two trips tomorrow.  At the same time, cross country has also ended so our weekends are much less scheduled, and hopefully I'll be able to focus on making this house our "home"!