Friday was one of those days that really just couldn't end soon enough for me. To say that I was tired doesn't really describe how I felt. When I got my jammies on at approximately 5:30, I literally let out some sort of war cry...I was that excited about being "done" with my day.
Andrew had gone out with some co-workers after school, and then he took on the responsibility for picking up the boys from their activities. Robert walked in and was dying to go to a movie that evening, and wanted to take his siblings with him. We were stunned, and pleasantly surprised! The kids actually wanted to spend time together!
We didn't want Thomas to go as he had to be up at 5:30 Saturday morning, and he understood that. Catherine wasn't convinced that she wanted to see the specific movie Robert wanted to see, but finally she agreed. They went off, and enjoyed their evening together. We were so thrilled that our kids wanted to do this. None of our kids are great about having a social life and making plans, but there is nothing wrong with being each other's friends!
Monday, May 8, 2017
Sunday, May 7, 2017
Kind of like a dream come true
This morning I sat in church, feeling refreshed with the message, and with my husband and two of my children in the pew next to me (Robert was in the building but was helping to prepare for an event that was happening afterwards). It suddenly dawned on me how my dreams had come true.
That seems a little dramatic, but it's really not overstating the situation. When I was a teen, I attended church by myself. It was a four block walk from my home, and I made the trip most Sundays. I often sat with my best friend Kristen, and her sister Becca. Their mom was singing in the choir, and their father was the pastor. I would look around at all of the families, and I would envision the day when I would be sitting in the pew with my own family.
Even after getting married, there seemed a few years when that dream still seemed so far away. Today though, even though it has been this way for years, I really realized that young teenager's dream had come true. I am so grateful to have these moments. We are so blessed!
That seems a little dramatic, but it's really not overstating the situation. When I was a teen, I attended church by myself. It was a four block walk from my home, and I made the trip most Sundays. I often sat with my best friend Kristen, and her sister Becca. Their mom was singing in the choir, and their father was the pastor. I would look around at all of the families, and I would envision the day when I would be sitting in the pew with my own family.
Even after getting married, there seemed a few years when that dream still seemed so far away. Today though, even though it has been this way for years, I really realized that young teenager's dream had come true. I am so grateful to have these moments. We are so blessed!
Friday, May 5, 2017
I feel like they're missing out, and sometimes I feel guilty about it
My sister emailed me the baseball schedules for two of my cousin's children earlier this week. I dutifully put them all on the calendar, knowing that we'll be lucky if we make it to any of them. It's not that I don't want to be there, but we definitely have our own things going on. My sister makes it to just about every game that she can. She is also at many activities for our second cousin in town, and even the children of some family friends. I don't begrudge her this, but...
My sister hasn't been to one track meet this year. She wasn't at one swim meet last season. She brought my mother and grandmother to a cross country meet in the fall, but didn't see anyone swim last summer either. In fact, she has never seen my kids in the pool, there has never been anything in terms of track meets, or band concerts, and it's been four years since she saw anyone play basketball. I understand that we aren't right there in town, but I make the trip there frequently. In fact, I've made the trip to see a cousin's son play soccer several times, I've made it to one of the baseball games, and I saw a cousin's child in a musical production. I try not to be jealous and resentful, but sometimes it becomes challenging. I acknowledge that I am the one that CHOSE to move a greater distance away, but again, I'm not on the other side of the country. I'm not even invited to join in family meals or just hanging out that they sometimes do together. It's not because I've always said no either. I do everything I can to make it to family functions whenever I can. Perhaps it's me and something I've said or done.
It tears at my heart a little when I see athletic or musical events and kids have extended family there. I was lucky enough to have that when I was growing up. Our family was always together then just as they are now, and I always wanted that for my kids. In fact, it is part of the reason we decided to move here. Not a huge part, but it was a factor. We had family here, and I thought they would enjoy coming to an event or so a season, and I knew my kids would appreciate having them attend. In almost four years though, they have attended zero events for my kiddos. Before we moved, we had friends that would attend just to see our kids, just as we did for their children. I feel guilty that my kids are missing out on that acknowledgement and support.
Not only do I feel my kids are missing out though, I feel like my family is as well. I have pretty great kids, and the rest of my family is missing out on a chance to connect and be a part of their lives as well. This has really been getting to me lately, and the arrival of the baseball schedule just kind of really forced it home. I felt like it is expected that I make the effort to get there, when I know darn well no one is going to extend that same effort to my kids. It's all just hurting my heart a little these days.
My sister hasn't been to one track meet this year. She wasn't at one swim meet last season. She brought my mother and grandmother to a cross country meet in the fall, but didn't see anyone swim last summer either. In fact, she has never seen my kids in the pool, there has never been anything in terms of track meets, or band concerts, and it's been four years since she saw anyone play basketball. I understand that we aren't right there in town, but I make the trip there frequently. In fact, I've made the trip to see a cousin's son play soccer several times, I've made it to one of the baseball games, and I saw a cousin's child in a musical production. I try not to be jealous and resentful, but sometimes it becomes challenging. I acknowledge that I am the one that CHOSE to move a greater distance away, but again, I'm not on the other side of the country. I'm not even invited to join in family meals or just hanging out that they sometimes do together. It's not because I've always said no either. I do everything I can to make it to family functions whenever I can. Perhaps it's me and something I've said or done.
It tears at my heart a little when I see athletic or musical events and kids have extended family there. I was lucky enough to have that when I was growing up. Our family was always together then just as they are now, and I always wanted that for my kids. In fact, it is part of the reason we decided to move here. Not a huge part, but it was a factor. We had family here, and I thought they would enjoy coming to an event or so a season, and I knew my kids would appreciate having them attend. In almost four years though, they have attended zero events for my kiddos. Before we moved, we had friends that would attend just to see our kids, just as we did for their children. I feel guilty that my kids are missing out on that acknowledgement and support.
Not only do I feel my kids are missing out though, I feel like my family is as well. I have pretty great kids, and the rest of my family is missing out on a chance to connect and be a part of their lives as well. This has really been getting to me lately, and the arrival of the baseball schedule just kind of really forced it home. I felt like it is expected that I make the effort to get there, when I know darn well no one is going to extend that same effort to my kids. It's all just hurting my heart a little these days.
It's a little heartbreaking for me to watch
We are having a really, really rough time with Thomas these days, and I'm having a really tough time watching it happen. I feel so lost about how to help him, and it's painful.
I had suspected, pretty much since he started school, that Thomas had attention and focus problems. It all came to a head last school year. I remember him sitting with me, absolutely in tears, because he didn't seem to have a clue what was going on in math. Math has always been something he is so good at, and when he couldn't even tell me what they were studying or how the routine worked (and we are talking 3/4 of the way through the year!), it was my "aha" moment. Putting him on the medication was clearly the best decision we've ever made.
The downside though, is that the meds affect his appetite. Thomas is already an extremely picky eater, and having a decreased appetite sure isn't doing him any favors. The last two doctor's visits (we have to go every 60 days for the medication) he had actually LOST weight. This is not a good thing for a person his age, especially one so tiny to begin! We had decided that we are taking him off the medication for the summer in hopes that he will bulk up, at least a little. We'll take anything at this point.
Another reason to take him off the medication is that I can see it isn't really working. He is fuzzy again, and he's struggling. It's hard for us not to get frustrated and want him to just "do it" and take care of things and be responsible. I know that isn't how his brain works though. We certainly can't increase the medication, because as we explained to him last night, nothing is more important than his physical health. We are hoping that by taking him off the medication, it will help it to begin to be more effective again in the fall.
In the meantime, it's really hard watching your kid want to figure something out and want to do a good job, but feel so overwhelmed by everything he is perceiving that it just isn't possible. It's also hard watching your kid look like he is becoming emaciated because he won't eat. It's all just one of the many, many tough things about parenting.
I had suspected, pretty much since he started school, that Thomas had attention and focus problems. It all came to a head last school year. I remember him sitting with me, absolutely in tears, because he didn't seem to have a clue what was going on in math. Math has always been something he is so good at, and when he couldn't even tell me what they were studying or how the routine worked (and we are talking 3/4 of the way through the year!), it was my "aha" moment. Putting him on the medication was clearly the best decision we've ever made.
The downside though, is that the meds affect his appetite. Thomas is already an extremely picky eater, and having a decreased appetite sure isn't doing him any favors. The last two doctor's visits (we have to go every 60 days for the medication) he had actually LOST weight. This is not a good thing for a person his age, especially one so tiny to begin! We had decided that we are taking him off the medication for the summer in hopes that he will bulk up, at least a little. We'll take anything at this point.
Another reason to take him off the medication is that I can see it isn't really working. He is fuzzy again, and he's struggling. It's hard for us not to get frustrated and want him to just "do it" and take care of things and be responsible. I know that isn't how his brain works though. We certainly can't increase the medication, because as we explained to him last night, nothing is more important than his physical health. We are hoping that by taking him off the medication, it will help it to begin to be more effective again in the fall.
In the meantime, it's really hard watching your kid want to figure something out and want to do a good job, but feel so overwhelmed by everything he is perceiving that it just isn't possible. It's also hard watching your kid look like he is becoming emaciated because he won't eat. It's all just one of the many, many tough things about parenting.
Thursday, May 4, 2017
So tired in the midst of this really long week
The May/end-of-school-year craziness is definitely in full swing. We are just tired, tired people. I see it in myself, my husband, my kiddos, and all of the students and staff. After today, only 14 days of school left. We will get there, but it still seems daunting at this point.
After being off Monday and being able to be very productive, the rest of the week got very busy. I worked 1/2 day in 4th grade on Tuesday, then went to my church job. I was home long enough to change clothes and then picked up Thomas from athletic conditioning before I headed to Robert's track meet...where I was for the next five hours. He has developed a cold so it wasn't his best meet of the season. In fact, generally speaking we were not at all competitive in this meet. Not only that but it was COLD, and the wind was brutal.
Yesterday was a full day of kindergarten. I love the little ones, but it is so physically exhausting. I went home to pick up Robert and we headed to the grocery. I got to see Andrew for about 45 minutes before he was back out the door for a school event. I gave Robert NyQuil so that he would sleep well (and since he went to bed at 8:00, he also slept long!), and I myself didn't stay up late either.
Today is a full day of the Ag class, and then I have to head to church again. Thomas also has a band concert this evening. I work again in Ag tomorrow, and although Thomas has a track party after school and I might have to work at church again, we have a relatively unscheduled evening. That may be MY turn to go to bed at 8:00!
Unfortunately on Saturday I have to be up at 5:30 again. Thomas has an all-day band activity, although I will be able to return to bed and sleep after dropping him off by 6:30. We have dinner plans that evening, and then we have church commitments Sunday morning and early afternoon. Knowing that next week brings night class, another band concert, two meetings, and two track meets, means we need to start the week as rested as we can!
After being off Monday and being able to be very productive, the rest of the week got very busy. I worked 1/2 day in 4th grade on Tuesday, then went to my church job. I was home long enough to change clothes and then picked up Thomas from athletic conditioning before I headed to Robert's track meet...where I was for the next five hours. He has developed a cold so it wasn't his best meet of the season. In fact, generally speaking we were not at all competitive in this meet. Not only that but it was COLD, and the wind was brutal.
Yesterday was a full day of kindergarten. I love the little ones, but it is so physically exhausting. I went home to pick up Robert and we headed to the grocery. I got to see Andrew for about 45 minutes before he was back out the door for a school event. I gave Robert NyQuil so that he would sleep well (and since he went to bed at 8:00, he also slept long!), and I myself didn't stay up late either.
Today is a full day of the Ag class, and then I have to head to church again. Thomas also has a band concert this evening. I work again in Ag tomorrow, and although Thomas has a track party after school and I might have to work at church again, we have a relatively unscheduled evening. That may be MY turn to go to bed at 8:00!
Unfortunately on Saturday I have to be up at 5:30 again. Thomas has an all-day band activity, although I will be able to return to bed and sleep after dropping him off by 6:30. We have dinner plans that evening, and then we have church commitments Sunday morning and early afternoon. Knowing that next week brings night class, another band concert, two meetings, and two track meets, means we need to start the week as rested as we can!
Monday, May 1, 2017
I very much appreciated this day off
After not working much in March, I had all of ONE school day off in April. Of course spring break was in there, but in terms of days where I was on my own, there was only one. I truly enjoyed that, just as I enjoyed today. I am scheduled every day the rest of this week and even though tomorrow is only a half day, I need to go in and work on my church job as well.
Although the house was picked up, there were some errands I had been putting off for a couple of weeks until I could make the hour trip. It was so nice to be able to accomplish getting it done. I can not put into words how grateful I am that my husband supports me not working full time (or even a specific part-time) so that I can not only have a few days like this and still have our summers and breaks together. Life is full of so many blessings!
Although the house was picked up, there were some errands I had been putting off for a couple of weeks until I could make the hour trip. It was so nice to be able to accomplish getting it done. I can not put into words how grateful I am that my husband supports me not working full time (or even a specific part-time) so that I can not only have a few days like this and still have our summers and breaks together. Life is full of so many blessings!
How are we 1/3 of the way through the year?
I can't help but wonder how this is possible. Although I say that, and yet 3-1/2 weeks until school is out feels like forever from now! I know though, that I am going to blink and it will be here.
We had a nice weekend, although it was very wet. I am so very grateful to be off today, as it is my only day off this week. Tomorrow and Wednesday are half days in the elementary, and then Thursday and Friday are full days in the Ag class from ****. I just refuse to let the chaos of that class chase me away. I guess I'm just a glutton for punishment!
Thomas is finished with track. I think he is glad it is over. Robert still has at least three more weeks. He has loved every moment of the season.
I'm so grateful for the school year and craziness to be winding down. At the same time, I can't believe we only have one more year of having all three kids involved in the craziness!
We had a nice weekend, although it was very wet. I am so very grateful to be off today, as it is my only day off this week. Tomorrow and Wednesday are half days in the elementary, and then Thursday and Friday are full days in the Ag class from ****. I just refuse to let the chaos of that class chase me away. I guess I'm just a glutton for punishment!
Thomas is finished with track. I think he is glad it is over. Robert still has at least three more weeks. He has loved every moment of the season.
I'm so grateful for the school year and craziness to be winding down. At the same time, I can't believe we only have one more year of having all three kids involved in the craziness!
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