Celebrating our last summer weekend...last weekend

All week I thought I would get to this post, and yet I didn't.  I want to write though, before the next weekend happens!

Andrew and I were feeling some guilt about not doing more fun things over the summer.  Our vacation was barely that (although we did what we could afford), and it just seemed like most of the summer was spent focusing on Robert.  Given the circumstances, I don't think anyone would blame us, but in some ways there has been way too much focus on Robert in the last four years.

As Andrew and I were discussing this, he pointed our we could do something Saturday.  My vote against it was simply that it was the first day (in what felt like forever) that we had absolutely nothing on the calendar...I wanted to keep it that way.  We decided though, that an early dinner out would work out for us all.  We crossed the state line and went to a state lake where they have a restaurant with outdoor dining overlooking the lake.  The weather was lovely, and there was a lot of activity on the lake.  We enjoyed being able to chat with Catherine and Thomas.  After we ate, we drove around the lake a bit just to learn the area.  Andrew and I have always dreamed of a second home near the water.  This one is much closer than my dad's place would've been.  It's nothing more than a pipe dream right now, but it is fun to dream!

We have lived here five years

It absolutely doesn't seem possible that we have lived here five years.  We are closer to Thomas's graduation date than we are to the day we moved in.  I absolutely love this house and I love where we live.  It has become my home and it brings me much peace and comfort.  The school (particularly the high school) is the center of our lives and I'm so grateful we get to share so much of it together.  I still don't love living in this town, but I try to be grateful for having so much here.  We miss so many people in our former town, but we still see them.  That town still feels much more like home though.  It absolutely does not feel like five years since we left!

A rainy Friday at home

I really wanted to work today, but honestly, I am so happy to be home.  It is raining very hard outside, and the forecast is to be that way for the rest of the day.  I LOVE when this falls on a Friday.  The house is already mostly picked up, and I feel like I can really just sit and enjoy the fact that I am cozy and warm and dry, INSIDE my house.  I especially love this on days I don't have to go anywhere at all.  As it is, I don't have anywhere to be until after 5:00, and since that is an outdoor activity I wouldn't rule out the cancellation of that activity.   I am going to just enjoy life today.  It is such a blessing.

I want to work

I am being ridiculous I know, but the little panic about working is setting in already.  Last year I worked the first three days.  That doesn't happen...I know that in my head.  I am working today, and even that is pretty rare.  For the first week, teachers just don't miss.  My fear is that I'm not even getting jobs for later.  That is what terrifies me.  I also know that this is how things work.  Last year kind of spoiled my perspective though.  I WANT to work.

I also need to work.  We have reached a point where that isn't an option.  I'm not complaining.  We are still in decent shape, especially compared to so many.  However, for a couple of years now, our expenses have been beyond our income, and the savings has dwindled.  It really can't dwindle much more.  I am so blessed that Andrew is really supportive and absolutely encouraged me to make whatever decision I thought was best.  I was thrilled to be subbing again this year, and I am so excited to be back at the high school today.  I literally feel as though I belong here.  Not only am I getting a key to the building, one of the staff members has decided I should have a school email account and is going to look into it for me.  I just hope I didn't make a terrible mistake deciding not to go after other jobs. I hope this all works out okay, and I hope I can make a difference being here!

Apparently we just don't sleep the night before

Andrew had a horrible night sleep Sunday night, and Monday was his first day.  Thomas was so exhausted when he got home from school yesterday he almost fell asleep (he is not a child who likes to nap).  He admitted he had trouble sleeping the night before.  And last night, was a wretched night of sleep for me.  I am so excited to be back at school today, and hope that many, many more days are coming along.  I could fall asleep just fine, but couldn't actually stay asleep.  Tonight is band practice, and I have to attend to help with the senior photographs.  I am thrilled to be here today, but I can't help but think this time last week I wasn't even awake yet!

We could use some prayers

We just received another phone call from Robert.  I knew right away it couldn't be good news.  He was calling to tell us that he failed a written test (twice) and was being "held back".  It will delay his graduation from basic training by at least two weeks.  He was so upset and I could tell that he is so stressed.  I explained he wasn't the first and he won't be the last.  That is why they have this protocol in place.  He said he had been up all night studying, and I have to wonder if that is part of the problem.  It is hard to know that he is this stressed, and that there is nothing I can do to help.  I am so afraid he's just going to give up and decide he can't do this.

He also said that he didn't have any additional information on his health issues.  I know the stress is making the health worse, and the health issues cause more stress.  Because of the health, he could be delayed even more.  This is hard on this mom's heart.

Specifically, please pray that Robert's health stabilizes and everything is okay physically.  Secondly, please pray that Robert can pass this test and get through what he needs to get through.  And lastly, we would appreciate prayers for him to be strong emotionally and mentally and be able to keep at it.  He has come so far and I would hate for him to lose it all now.

Enjoying some quiet time on the first day back to school

I am enjoying the peace and quiet today while the kids are at school.  At the same time, I'm looking forward to having everyone hone and hearing all about their days.  I'm a little jealous I don't get to be there today, but I knew the chances of working on the first day were almost none.  This evening is actually one of the very few we get to spend together, and I'm so grateful it is day one.  I hope they all had great days!