The wedding part III

The day of the wedding arrived and it was cold and wet, with lots of things to do.  Our dear, dear friend had a serious medical issue the week before the wedding and that added an extra layer of stress and emotion to the week.  She is doing okay and I was able to visit her in the hospital, but it definitely added to the craziness of the week.

We were exhausted heading into the weekend as it is a crazy time at work, and having to do all the setting up and arranging.  With it being at our school I pretty much had to handle most things, and that is why I hired one of my co-workers to be helpful.  Catherine was bridesmaid and was getting ready with the girls, and of course Thomas had all his buddies with him.  I was grateful that Andrew and I were actually able to get ready in a different building.  It gave us a few minutes of quiet, and I was so grateful that Emily co-worker) was there to handle things.  Andrew and I shared a few moments together, then we walked over to the wedding area.  Andrew and I took seats in the front row.  Our mothers were behind us, and we were joined by my sister and few good friends behind them.  Thomas's groomsmen consisted of his cousin Ryan, two friends I didn't know, Thomas's childhood friend Joseph, and our good friend Nick who is Thomas's godfather and was in our wedding all those years ago!

As we sat there waiting for the wedding to begin, I couldn't help but reflect on the craziness of the last couple of months.  In many ways, I was grateful that it all happened so quickly.  I'm a fairly sentimental person, and I know that I would have spent too much time being emotional about my "baby" getting married.  While I worry that Thomas and Lyndi are so young, I'm happy that they have each other.  I'm happy that overall they were reasonable about what kind of wedding they could afford.  And my happiness is generally what I felt, right up until Joseph, his childhood friend, walked down the aisle and Thomas and Joseph fistbumped each other.  These two have been friends since they were in Sunday School together at age four.  They were so close during the early elementary years...and then we moved.  And they stayed close...and here they were sharing this incredibly special moment.  That one little moment did me in, and the tears began to flow.  I got it together though, and enjoyed a lovely, albeit incredibly short ceremony.  We had dinner for about 40 of us at a local pizza restaurant where we could reserve a room.  I was happy to spend the dinner with Andrew's mom, our friends, and cousin Ryan.  My mom and sister didn't want to stay, and that made me a little sad, but it is what it is.

Ryan had an early flight so Andrew left at 5:45 for a trip to the airport.  Thomas and Lyndi came over around 11, and we had things to tear down and clean up at school and return to church.  It was nearly 4:00 before we were ready to just sit that day.  Andrew took the next day off work so he could meet his mom's neighbor for his mom's return trip.  I'm so grateful for the people who were there, and for those who helped out and have supported the kids.  I wish my family could be a little more on board, but I try really hard to put that behind me.  I'm also grateful that Lyndi takes such good care of Thomas, and they really, truly love each other.  I'm glad we get along with her, and I'm grateful she enjoys being a part of our family.  This is definitely ushering in a new era!

The wedding, Part II

In retrospect, I might have been better off suggesting a different date for the wedding, as this past week was the busiest week of the school year due to our school musical.  A weekend wedding followed by the longest week of the year leads to exhaustion.

Anyway, I've realized I need to come up with a blog name for my DIL.  I am going to call her Lyndi.  Thomas and Lyndi really are wonderful together, but they are so, so young.  Andrew and I have done our best to be there for them, and love them, and also stay out of their way.  It's all a fine line.

Back to the wedding!  We had decided my MIL would come for Easter and stay for the wedding.  I knew I would need her help in the week leading up to the ceremony.  Thomas couldn't take any time off work, and neither could I.  My MIL was helpful with getting Lyndi's dress pressed and helping to prepare meals, things I just couldn't do.  Because the wedding was at our school and there was a Friday evening event, we couldn't set up until Saturday and that meant no rehearsal.  We did borrow chairs from our church, so we were able to get those moved (although not placed until Saturday) on Friday.  Thomas had a cousin fly in from Vermont who was a groomsman and we were beginning to run out of room for people to sleep in our house so I was able to rent an Airbnb from a family at school for the weekend.  Lyndi did not want she and Thomas to see each other the day of the event, so that required a decent amount of logistical planning.  I hired a young co-worker from school to come and help with set-up and organizing.  Oh, and did I mention the weather?  Ten days before the event it looked absolutely gorgeous.  A bit chilly, but workable.  Then as it got closer, the rain chances increased, but still only in the morning.  Still workable.  And then as it got even closer, rain chances continued to increase and creep later into the day.  And finally, the day was basically just a complete washout.  And still a chilly one at that.

I'm so grateful for the amazing friends that the kids have.  They were so helpful in getting things ready.  I don't mean for this to sound like a complaint, but it is...Lyndi's family was not involved in any way at all.  They were very clear from the start that there would be no financial contribution, and I respected that completely.  But to not even be able to help set up chairs, or cut the veggies for the appetizers...well, that got to me a bit.  But finally the day arrived, and it was time.

About the wedding, Part I

I suppose yesterday's post may have been a bit of a surprise.  To be honest, I just wasn't ever entirely certain this wedding was ever going to happen.  The "engagement" happened nearly three years ago, and it was a really rough experience.  Thomas didn't want to be honest with us about it.  I get it, he was 18 and she was 17 with a year of high school to go.  But lying about it isn't helping anything.   Anyway, it was last summer when they really began to get serious about things, and she bought a dress, and they bought decorations, but no date was set.  Part of the problem was they really wanted an outdoor wedding, but I can't be out in the sun and heat, and obviously some months are too cold.  There was also the issue that there wasn't much money for a celebration, but there are a lot of people who wanted to be included.  Finally, early this spring, it was decided to do a small ceremony and a bigger party this coming fall.   There still wasn't much money, but my school offered to allow us to use the grounds and there is a pavilion on site, and buildings in which to get ready.  Dinner was to be at a room in a local pizza restaurant.  All of a sudden there were five bridesmaids and lots of guests, at least from the bride side.  Our side's guest list included 14 people (and that includes the groom).  My boss began to begin concerned with parking as our school is very small.  But plans were made and things were falling into place...

My son is married

Thomas got married yesterday.  They've been engaged for awhile, but never set a date.  Then last summer, they wanted to get married in a matter of weeks.  We talked them into waiting until next Fall, but it became apparent they weren't going to be able to save to have the wedding they really wanted, and we could only help so much.  As we talked to them a few months ago, they decided to do a smaller ceremony sooner, and then a larger party in the fall.  My boss offered our school as a location for the desired outdoor ceremony and with a pavilion, it all fell into place for yesterday.

I'm exhausted, but I'l write more soon (as I can).  This is also why I haven't written much recently, and as we are headed into the busiest week of my school year I'm not sure how soon I'll be back, but I wanted to share the lovely news in our family!

It was the best Easter

We had a very lovely Easter weekend in our family.  All the kids were here for church yesterday, and it was a lovely weather day.  My favorite part though, was Saturday evening.  Thomas and his girlfriend came and stayed over Saturday evening.  We had potato pizza, which is always a hit, and then we sat around and played a game.  We all laughed so hard!  We are taking the entire crew on vacation with us this year, and the fun we had Saturday made me look forward to it even more.

After church we just hung out as our family meal will actually be this weekend.  I don't think anything could top how much fun we had this weekend, though!

It's real

I know I haven't written for a bit.  It's been really crazy in our world, but that is a different post.  Today, on the day before Easter, this is a post about church.  And it's going to be long

Catherine is currently dating a man who was raised an atheist, and still considers himself that to this day.  I don't think less of him, but I do feel a bit sad for him, as my faith has been one of the greatest comforts of my life.  It also makes me a bit sad that my grandchildren (someday, no hidden info there!) may be raised without faith, but I can continue to pray on both counts.  It's not for me to judge.  I raised my children to love and be accepting of all.  Her boyfriend is really a fabulous young man, and she could do (and has done) so much worse.

Tomorrow morning, my wonderful husband will get up really early so that he can take his mother to Mass.  The kids are all staying over here and joining us for church at our regular service.  This is the "hard" part of faith.  My mother will not go to church with us.  Our church doesn't "count" in her church.  I won't lie, it can be difficult not to take that personally.  And when we go to church with her, and we always do when at her place and often on holidays here so we aren't attending twice, we aren't allowed to fully participate.  And even partially participating can be challenging as their are no bulletins or "programs" provided.  So you either know it or you are just sitting there.

I know I sound a little bitter about this.  And that is because I am.  I tried to attend church regularly with my husband, but on more than one occasion I would leave in tears.  I understand there is church trauma out there, and I completely understand how it can hurt.  I am so, so grateful that we have found a church that makes both of us feel so incredibly welcomed and served, and we serve as well.

As we begin the season of Easter, I pray for church peace in the hearts of all.  I pray that all feel the peace and comfort that my faith brings me.  I pray that we love all, whether they are of the faith or not.  I pray for healing faith of all kinds.  I pray that the optimism and joy that we feel tomorrow lasts through the entire year.  Happy Easter.

Photo memories

The thing I've been working on most during the break has been labeling and organizing photos.  Some of them went all the way back to 2017, most were from the 2020's, especially in the last two years.  Honestly, it was a bit of an emotional experience.  Eight years ago, Thomas was in middle school.  It broke my heart a bit to see him that young.  I worked on the pictures from the last Thanksgiving G.G. was alive.  It caught my heart to see the family gatherings that we don't get to have anymore.  There were pictures of Rosie that we lost in August, 2022, and more heart-wrenching were the photos of Lincoln, and especially of Abby, both of whom passed in October.  In spite of a few teary eyes, I am so, so, so grateful for those memories!