As I suspected it would, April flew by. It wasn't a great month in terms of weather, so I'm hoping May is more spring like. We've just had so much rain, so even the warmer days haven't given us much outdoor time.
We are almost at the end of the school year...just 16 days after today! Since I'm not filling in permanently, there should be several days off at this point. In fact, I'm not scheduled for tomorrow so maybe it will be one! I'm trying not to wish away the next three weeks though. I think about the woman I wrote about last week who has been diagnosed with metastatic cancer. Each day that passes is one day less she has left to spend with her children. At the same time, that ultimately is true of any of us. We just have less of an idea about when the end will come. I want to treasure each day that I get to spend with my kids. Honestly though, the summer days of no school are much easier to treasurer!
Tuesday, April 30, 2019
Monday, April 29, 2019
Back to being just a regular sub
I got the official word this morning...tomorrow I get to go back to being a regular sub. Just a regular, where ever I am needed sub. I am so pleased! The teacher for whom I've been in is still not returning this year, but they have been able to find a sub who is licensed. I am so very grateful. While I certainly would've done it, and the extra money would've been nice, it was tough. Now the students know that their teacher isn't coming back and they know that the sub will be in charge of them for the rest of the year.
It was a tough start to the morning though. The classroom had been emptied of personal belongings, and I had students who were crying. There were a few other odd things that happened, and Andrew was not pleased that I had to deal with things that were just kind of thrown at me. He ended up getting an administrator to come in and talk to the students. That helped to settle things down tremendously. I can't even begin to describe the burden I feel has been lifted. It was really tough when I was trying to keep things moving along and do what was best for the students, but I myself often didn't know what we were doing until arriving in the morning. He has some sections that are specific to at-risk students and keeping them on track, and I didn't feel that I had a clue what I was doing in that regard at all. I didn't want the kids to suffer though, and I take my responsibilities very seriously. I am totally okay to going back to being the body in the classroom!
It was a tough start to the morning though. The classroom had been emptied of personal belongings, and I had students who were crying. There were a few other odd things that happened, and Andrew was not pleased that I had to deal with things that were just kind of thrown at me. He ended up getting an administrator to come in and talk to the students. That helped to settle things down tremendously. I can't even begin to describe the burden I feel has been lifted. It was really tough when I was trying to keep things moving along and do what was best for the students, but I myself often didn't know what we were doing until arriving in the morning. He has some sections that are specific to at-risk students and keeping them on track, and I didn't feel that I had a clue what I was doing in that regard at all. I didn't want the kids to suffer though, and I take my responsibilities very seriously. I am totally okay to going back to being the body in the classroom!
Sunday, April 28, 2019
I really don't want to go back tomorrow
I can't remember the last time I dreaded going back as much as I am tomorrow. I keep telling myself that it is only 18 more school days, and we ought to be able to do anything for 18 days! The tough part is the unknown I think, and the situation as a whole. I hope to be able to write about it more soon, but for right now I just can't put anything out there.
I also know that I am dreading how tired we are all going to be again. When I get a full time job someday, it is hard to imagine that I am going to look for one where I have to be up at 5AM. I remember being in college and not wanting to take 8:00 classes because I didn't want to get up at 7. Now, that sounds like a dream come true.
This post is whiny, and I just need to get over myself. The nice thing is that at the end of all of this is a summer of not getting up at 5AM, and I am really looking forward to that!
I also know that I am dreading how tired we are all going to be again. When I get a full time job someday, it is hard to imagine that I am going to look for one where I have to be up at 5AM. I remember being in college and not wanting to take 8:00 classes because I didn't want to get up at 7. Now, that sounds like a dream come true.
This post is whiny, and I just need to get over myself. The nice thing is that at the end of all of this is a summer of not getting up at 5AM, and I am really looking forward to that!
Saturday, April 27, 2019
The end of our spring break
On Monday we go back to reality. It is never fun to go back to school after spring break, but with only 18 school days remaining it certainly is doable. At this point my work schedule is completely unknown, but again, whatever happens is what is going to happen and it will work out.
Thomas and Catherine ended up staying at my mom's house last night to help with Mom's dogs. Mom was gone most of the day yesterday, again during the evening, and then all day today. She was concerned about my grandmother being there with them, and I pointed out Catherine loves animals and could help out. We could even just drop her off on our way home from my in-laws. Once that was agreed upon I asked if Thomas could be there also. Mom was fine with that, so Andrew and I ended our mini-vacation last night with an evening to ourselves. It was delightful!
I think we all really enjoyed our time together, and I know my in-laws, in spite of the challenges, were grateful we wanted to spend time with them. I understand that feeling. I worry that some day my children will grow up and not want us as a part of their lives. I see it happen to others, and in many ways has happened once already. Andrew and I enjoy each other and will be happy in our life together, but there is nothing quite like family. I am grateful we have been blessed with so much extended family to bring to our kids' lives.
Tomorrow morning we have an event at church, and then Monday is back to 5AM wake ups. Only 18 more though!
Thomas and Catherine ended up staying at my mom's house last night to help with Mom's dogs. Mom was gone most of the day yesterday, again during the evening, and then all day today. She was concerned about my grandmother being there with them, and I pointed out Catherine loves animals and could help out. We could even just drop her off on our way home from my in-laws. Once that was agreed upon I asked if Thomas could be there also. Mom was fine with that, so Andrew and I ended our mini-vacation last night with an evening to ourselves. It was delightful!
I think we all really enjoyed our time together, and I know my in-laws, in spite of the challenges, were grateful we wanted to spend time with them. I understand that feeling. I worry that some day my children will grow up and not want us as a part of their lives. I see it happen to others, and in many ways has happened once already. Andrew and I enjoy each other and will be happy in our life together, but there is nothing quite like family. I am grateful we have been blessed with so much extended family to bring to our kids' lives.
Tomorrow morning we have an event at church, and then Monday is back to 5AM wake ups. Only 18 more though!
Friday, April 26, 2019
Today would've been my dad's 65th birthday
My dad would've turned 65 today. It is the sixth birthday he has spent in Heaven. This date has become one of my least favorite days of the year. There aren't words for how much I miss him, but I know anyone who has lost a parent understands exactly how I feel. I was blessed to have had him in my life for so many years, and we made wonderful memories!
Thursday, April 25, 2019
I am devastated by this news
I just received a phone call from my mom. A young lady the age of my sister, who was friends with my sister throughout school and with whom I worked at summer camps for years, has been diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer. She'd had clean scans for years, but they just found it in her spine. Her three children are elementary age, and she is one of the nicest individuals I've ever met...and I've known her since she was only four or five. I know that there is currently no cure for something like this, and while she may have years to live, it isn't decades, and her children are so young...and so is she. My heart is broken and I am devastated by this news. I'm praying for a miracle.
This will be the last trip
Last fall we decided we wanted to take a small trip and include my in-laws. Our original plan was to go to a state park resort for a few days to get away. However, after Christmas, I realized my in-laws weren't really able to do that. We decided this trip to Canton was perfect. We were wrong. Clearly, my father-in-law needs to not be outside his comfort zone. I'm not even sure if coming to our house for holidays is an option anymore. It has been rough. My kids have been awesome during some tough moments. I'm glad we've had this time together, but there can't be any more road trips with him.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)