How we are doing today

I think today is kind of what our days are going to look like.  Catherine has had several mini-seizures during the course of the day.  I would guess that there were probably ten total.  As of right now, the only person who can bring her out of them is me.  Andrew tried doing the exact same things I do, but she doesn't respond to him.  Overall though, I would say that today is better than yesterday.  I'm tired, and definitely drained, but I am completely confident everything is going to be okay.  It will take time, maybe a LOT of time, but it will be okay.

We need some prayers for our sweet Catherine

Catherine has had a very long 24-hours, and therefore so have we.  In fact, just about this time last night, it was all beginning.  Catherine had a pseudoseizure.  Not realizing what it was, we called 911 and she was taken  by ambulance.  They stabilized her at the hospital and sent her home, but she had another one this morning when she got up.  We took her back to the e/r.  The doctor today informed us that there really is no need to bring her back each time.  There isn't much they can do.  We have a follow up appointment with our regular physician tomorrow, and we will begin counseling.

We had no idea that Catherine was holding in all of her emotions like this.  We had no idea she was struggling like this.  She has always been tough, and I mistakenly thought she was coping.  She had told us earlier in the week about some of her feelings regarding some situations, and we had decided then to begin the counselor search.  Sadly, with the mental health system in this country, sometimes that is easier said than done.

We would appreciate any prayers that could be lifted up on her behalf.  She is an amazing young lady, and this doesn't change that.  We hope that this can all be resolved quickly, but ultimately we will do whatever it takes!

My enthusiasm has been tampered

I received a response to my application yesterday.  Of course I know the man personally, but we are being very formal in this interaction.  I know that I am an ideal candidate.  However, although there is no written policy (I have read the contract), there is a precedent of internal transfer requests given precedence.  The HR director indicated I would receive consideration for any subsequent openings that may occur.  I sincerely appreciate that, but not being at the high school is not only not my first choice, but my familiarity with policies and procedures decreases, making me not as valuable as at the high school.  I would most likely take any secretarial job offered to me though to get my foot in the door at the district.  It would break my heart not to be able to be with Thomas at the high school for his last two years, but I also know that long term having a job working for the school district is a great fit for our family overall.  The good news is that I have faith it will work out as it is supposed to be!

My dream job

My dream job is to be the assistant secretary at our high school.  Actually, my dream job would be to be the attendance secretary, because she gets all summer off.  The assistant secretary is only off six weeks, but in some ways that is a good compromise.  A decent income but still a good amount of time off.  The person who is currently assistant secretary is already retired from a factory job and in a second career.  She had mentioned over a year ago that "one of these years" she would be retiring again.  I hoped I would be able to sub until that day came along.  When Covid-19 hit, I really thought this might be the year because she is older and her husband has underlying medical conditions.  I have scoured the employment page of our school district several times a day, but hadn't seen anything.

Our school district announced last week that a retirement bonus that was being offered.  There were certain requirements that had to be met in order to take advantage of the offer.  It made me scour the page even more frequently, but nothing had appeared.

Today our family did a work day at my grandmother's house.  My cousin and her daughter came out to help as well, as did one of my mother's best friends.  I was in the middle of going through a bag of stuff when Thomas and my cousin's daughter came running in to tell me that the assistant secretary had retired and the job was posted!  Andrew had received notification about it and had mentioned it to the kids.

When I got home this evening, I immediately pulled up the information, and after several hours of work I submitted it via email to the HR guy.  I will mail hard copies tomorrow.  I feel I am a desirable candidate not only from my skills, but because of my familiarity with the school and my relationships with the staff, students, and families.  I am SOOOOO excited.  This would literally be a dream come true if this could happen.

I told Andrew it is a win-win.  I would miss being in the classroom with the students.  If I don't get the job, I'll still be subbing which I love.  I won't be offended as long as I at least get an interview.  If anyone would like to send up some prayers or cross some fingers on my behalf I wouldn't mind.  This would be an awesome opportunity!

Going to the grocery

I have always hated going to the grocery.  Quick trip, stock-up trip, doesn't matter.  I don't like going to the grocery.  Any time I can avoid it, I absolutely do.

However, I am also incredibly cheap.  So, paying for a grocery delivery service is NOT going to happen.  Thomas and I are also very picky eaters, so having someone else "shop" for me and make substitutions is not really an option.  Therefore, I grocery shop.

In the beginning of the pandemic, it was not terrifying, but definitely unnerving and unsettling.  Not just being around people, but the rows upon rows of empty shelves.  If I wasn't careful, it could cause me to panic wondering if I'd be able to get the items I wanted when I wanted (or even NEEDED) them.  I'm not longer afraid of being around people, although I keep my distance (as an aside, I am also a good community member and wear a mask).  Going to the grocery is still stressful though.  Many items are still difficult to find, and options are limited.  And then there are the PRICES.  Ugh!!!  I used to be so proud to be able to find great deals, but those days are over!

Some emotion on this Father's Day

I think we all know this could be my father-in-law's last Father's Day.  His decline even since December has been so rapid.  I don't think we are talking weeks remaining, but it could be months, and an entire year may not happen.  I believe with certainty it is the last Father's Day he will understand.  Andrew made his father tear-up this morning as he wrote a very heart felt sentiment in his card.  Andrew has wonderful parents, and Andrew knows that.  He never fails to see the blessing that is his family.  Andrew was adopted at five-weeks-old, and has never concerned himself with his biological family.  He feels he more than hit the jackpot with his parents, and has no need to look for anything else.  The fragility of his father makes the day emotional.  And of course, I never have a day go by that I don't think of my own dad and miss him so very much.

I know there are also emotions for Andrew as a father.  We have amazing and fabulous kids, and we are so grateful for them.  We never forget how blessed we are to be their parents.  At the same time, the emotions of the choices made by our oldest is never gone.  We choose to focus on the blessings and good things though.

It's been quite a year, this 2020, hasn't it?  My goodness, just six months into it, and still six months to go.  I am so grateful for these days, even the ones with some emotion to them!

At the in-laws

We decided Father's Day weekend would be a great time to visit my in-laws.  I'll be honest, I am bored out of my ever-loving mind.  Andrew has taken his mother to do some shopping while the kids and I stay here to keep a bit of an eye on my father-in-law.  I sincerely wish my in-laws had moved closer to us years ago.  The problem these days is that their world has become so incredibly small.  I worry about them long-term, but there is no convincing them to come to us.  It's hard to see their lives become like this.