I'm in a mood...

...and it isn't a particularly good one.  I think some of it is carry over from yesterday's emotions (which I try not to do, but it happens), I think some of it is the NON STOP RAIN we've had around here, I think some of it is Catherine's continuous eye rolling every time I talk to her, and I think some of it is just life.  I kind of just want to be left alone, but our house just isn't big enough for that.  Life goes on though, and we will figure out how to have a nice day.

I don't think it's supposed to hurt like this

My mom had informed me that she was getting rid of the kids' bikes that were at her house.  These were bikes my dad had up at the lake and he brought back them to his house when he sold the lake place.  She called to tell me that she had given them all away to one person and she was very pleased with how much space was now available to her in the shed.  I don't begrudge her wanting to get rid of them, my kids didn't even particularly use them once they went to my parents...maybe once in the last four years.  I vividly remember though, the day my dad brought those bikes from a garage sale and how much fun we all had that day...and many subsequent days as well.  Today is a day where that kind of memory hurts a lot.  I am so grateful that we had those days, but I can't help but be a little sad today that they are over.

It doesn't help that this has occurred on the same day that I faced another reminder of just how alone we are in this town.  I need help with transporting kids on Thursday and the few I've felt comfortable asking aren't available.  It will all work out though...it always does.

Double inner ear infection

I decided last evening that this morning Thomas needed to see a doctor.  I knew it was a bad sign when he wouldn't even eat his McDonald's cheeseburger...his most favorite food in the world!  Okay, probably second to their french fries, but you get the point.  Anyway, I took Robert & Catherine to church, and Andrew headed off to urgent care with Thomas.  The diagnosis is an inner ear infection in both ears.  There is also a chance of strep throat, but the doctor said they weren't going to worry about doing a culture because the antibiotic is the same and it isn't going to change anything.  We got the first dose of antibiotic into him just before noon, and I can tell that he feels better, just a little bit, even already.  I'm so glad we didn't waste any more time today!

That spot between under-reacting and over-reacting

Thomas knocked on our door at 2AM...which never happens.  He had been coughing and was practically in tears because his ears hurt.  My assessment was sinus issues.  I gave him cough medicine, acetaminophen, logs of hugs and love, and sent him back to bed.  The coughing continued, and finally Andrew decided that even though Thomas had fallen asleep again, the rest of us weren't going to get any sleep this way.  He brought Thomas out to the recliner so he could sleep more upright and Andrew slept on the couch.  My hero!

Thomas slept pretty much through the rest of the night.  He barely coughed at all, but once awake looks like a truck has run over him.  He is running a low grade fever, and while the cough has resumed now that he is awake, it is by no means deep or continuous.  He still says his ears hurt...and this is the tough part.  Am I under-reacting by not taking him into the doctor this morning, or would that have been over-reacting with less than twelve hours worth of symptoms?  I've decided to wait it out (although we did cancel our evening plans so that he can just rest) and I know that there is always urgent care if we need it before Monday.  I sure do hate this!

Just my thoughts

Today I have spent a great deal of time watching the funeral services for a Cincinnati police officer killed in the line of duty last week.  It has been beautiful and emotional.  It has been sad and uplifting.  It is absolutely a great tragedy that this man is no longer with us...it would have been a greater tragedy had he never lived.  I can not imagine the pain that his family is experiencing, but I am very grateful that this man walked on Earth, even for the too few years that he did. 

Just before I turned on the television coverage of the funeral, I learned that the same sex marriage ban was struck down by the supreme court.  I was so happy my eyes filled with tears.  I have many good friends who have left the state because they could not legally marry the person they love.  While I know none of them are going to return just because it is legal here now, I am grateful that no one else will feel they have to leave for the same reason.  I have never felt that same sex marriage in any way, shape, or form, threatened or discounted my own marriage, and I have a dear friend who has been with his partner for over 17 years.  He is a cancer survivor from our teen years, and the fact that, had they chosen to remain here (which they did not) he might not be able to be covered by health insurance or other benefits never made me happy.  I am grateful for today's decision.

Speaking of health insurance, I am also grateful for the decision yesterday allowing millions of people to keep their affordable insurance.  My mother is one that has been forced to sign up for individual plans due to losing her insurance when my father passed away.  Yes, she was allowed to remain on the company plan for a certain number of months, but I am grateful that the individual exchange allowed her to find better coverage at a more affordable (but still unbelievably expensive) rate.  My mother does not receive tax subsidies for her insurance, but undoubtedly would have seen her rates increase with a different decision.  Health insurance coverage will ALWAYS be a good thing as far as I am concerned.  Dollars spent in medical prevention are never dollars wasted in my opinion.

And also speaking of medical issues and insurance...I am so very saddened by the tragedy in South Carolina last week.  I am pleased that the state of South Carolina has chosen to remove the Confederate flag from the state grounds, but I do not, at all, believe that the Confederate flag should be outlawed.  I believe that individuals and business should be allowed to choose to display an item that represents their feelings, thoughts, and beliefs, just as I should be allowed to choose whether or not I wish to patronize or associate with those who feel that way.  How does this relate to medicine and insurance?  Well, I don't believe this discussion should be about the Confederate flag, gun control, or even hate crimes.  I believe this discussion should be about the lack of affordable and productive mental health treatment in our country, and furthermore about the stigma associated with mental health concerns.  Until we begin to treat mental health diseases as exactly that...diseases, I honestly feel all other conversations are mute.

I know this is kind of a heavy (and uncharacteristically political) post for me, but I just needed to get my thoughts out there.  I know that some who read this, and perhaps even most who read this, won't agree.  That is what is so fabulous about our country...we are all allowed to have our own opinions!

Pretty much a complete washout of a day

This morning we headed out to go to swim practice and then voluntary cross country practice.  Right after the swim practice drop off, lightning flashed across the sky.  Clearly there was no point in cross country, so we drove around the block.  Thomas has always been afraid of storms, so I hate to be too far.  There was intermittent thunder and lightning for the next half hour, and at 8:30 I decided that we were heading home.  Practice is supposed to end at 9, and we have to wait 30 minutes before getting in the water.  As we walked in the house, Catherine excitedly announced it was time to put the jammies back on.  I would have like to disagree, but after checking the weather forecast, I can't argue with her.  It has been a solid, soaking rain for the last two hours, and is the perfect day to just watch some movies and play some boardgames.

Unfortunately, that isn't going to be the case.  The kids are scheduled to have a swim meet tonight, and they don't like to just cancel.  So we will be spending our evening in the rain, waiting out thunder and lightning and probably getting rather wet in the process...just like last Thursday evening!

A very, very, very...very expensive week

This is turning into one of the most expensive weeks of our lives!  For the most part everything was expected, but we managed to make it all hit at one time.  Thank goodness for insurance and our savings account!

Robert had an appointment with an oral surgeon yesterday.  He needs to have all four wisdom teeth removed...to the tune of nearly $2500.00!!!  To say I had sticker shock was an understatement.  I had mine removed thirteen years ago, without insurance, and it cost me less than $500.00, so I was completely unprepared for yesterday's estimate.  The dentist had told us last week that Catherine and Thomas should also have their wisdom teeth removed, but we should check with the orthodontist first to see if it should be before or after the braces (cha-ching, cha-ching).

Andrew also finally got around to calling to make arrangements to fulfill our Christmas present from his parents.  They had given us money to have an automatic garage door opener installed on our detached garage because at this point, only Robert and Andrew can really open and close the door (I can open it, but not close it).  That will be happening this Friday.  It's a very reasonable price, but still money out the door this week!

Andrew also decided that this was the week he was finally going to call and make arrangements to have two dead trees taken down in our front yard (my feelings will be another post).  In spite of his promises that he would make certain he could take care of dealing with it (hence the reason we waited until school was out) it is happening today and he is in Cincinnati all day for a class.  And of course, having two trees chopped down is absolutely NOT cheap.  The only upside is that we will get to keep the wood for our fireplace.

We also knew that my van needed two new tires.  Because doing so is going to require a large span of time without my vehicle, we again decided to wait until school was out.  The "check engine" light has been going on and off, and we thought we better have it looked at...so it goes in this week for that, an oil change, and new tires.  And in looking at it (and since another few months have passed) we realized it really needs four new tires, not just two.

I'm trying not to have a mini panic attack as I write all of this.  I'm not asking anyone to feel sorry for us...we have the money in savings and we are not struggling to pay our bills, and I am beyond grateful for that!  I'm just one of those people who likes the money to stay in our savings when we put it there!

Soggy swim meet

Last Thursday Catherine and Thomas had their very first swim meet.  I was pretty concerned about the weather forecast as it was calling for nothing but wet and yucky.  As it got closer though, there was some improvement to the forecast and I was cautiously optimistic.  This meet is the furthest we travel for a meet all year.  I had no idea how these things were done, but as Andrew pointed out, anything called a "meet" tends to take significantly longer than things called "games".

It was cloudy when we left, but we packed ponchos and an extra blanket for each swimmer...and some snacks as well.  Warm-ups went along great...and as soon as the meet began it started to rain.  It rained and then it rained some more.  After 90 minutes of solid rain (and by now the ponchos were pretty useless) it thundered so we had to go to the van.  After a 45 minute delay (by now 9:15) we resumed a meet that wasn't even half over...and it was still raining very steadily.  Even the kids were hoping that there would be a rumble of thunder that would send us home.  Fortunately, they decided to eliminate the final stroke in the events and we were all finished at 10:30.  Since they were calling for rain all night into the morning and we still had nearly an hour drive home, we decided practice wasn't happening for our family in the morning and we slept in.

How did the kids do?  They came in dead last in every event they did...but I am SO proud of them.  They worked so hard and never gave up.  They may have been the slowest, but they completed the entire 50 meters and never stopped.  They didn't even stand to regroup at any point...they just kept swimming.

They both know they aren't going to be the best and they are okay with it.  They are both excited how much progress they are making and I'm so proud of them...and looking forward to dryer weather!

Moving along through summer

Our summer is moving along.  Yesterday I felt pretty crappy, but I really enjoyed watching the kids have fun.  It was the first time in a very long time that all three kids had fun together.  Even last week at the water park, Robert insisted on being on his own.  A lot of that is his age, a lot of that is his personality, and some of that is the choices he's made and how he feels about us right now, but for yesterday at least, we really felt all good together and it was so wonderful to see the kids all have fun together.

I'm having a bit of a tough time with the blog these days.  This blog is about our lives...but right now there are many things that are simply not for sharing, especially on the great world wide web!  The tough part is those are the prevalent parts of our lives right now, so it's really hard to write about anything at all.  Please know that, for the most part, everyone is okay.  Physically, everyone is absolutely fine.  However, it's been a very tough (emotionally) couple of years and teens process things differently than adults, and we are all working, with help, on making sure we are functioning as a family.  Please understand if some posts are vague or if there are gaps in posting...and know that we are all hanging in there!

Forty eight hours at Great Wolf Lodge

We have just returned from 48 hours at Great Wolf Lodge.  Before we left, I was king of feeling "blue" about this.  A water park didn't really sound like my idea of fun, and a vacation that was going to last only 48 hours (while being only 45 minutes) from home...well, it kind of sounded like cheating by calling it a vacation.

We had an absolute blast though!  There were so many fun things to do, and so many relaxing things!  The water rides were completely safe, even for us non-swimmers, and I had complete confidence in my children NOT being supervised every second.  In fact, we set up a home base and gave them check-in times of 60-90 minutes.  Not once did anyone miss a time.  I also loved the fact that there were restaurants on-site so we never actually had to leave the resort.  We parked when we arrived Tuesday and then got back in our vehicle today when we left.  We spent some of our evenings in the arcade, and Andrew and I hit the skiball games to help the kids with the ticket totals.  Thomas had been wanting a yo-yo forever, so he was very excited to turn in tickets for one!  I also loved the fact that he won the "jackpot" in one of the games and received 1000 tickets.  He promptly gave half to his sister.  We discussed how fun things are always more fun when we share them!  I had to laugh as he was pretty much our pogo stick...he was going, going, and going all the time...he absolutely loved every minute.  At the same time, as soon as his head hit the pillow he was out! 

We stayed in a room where the kids had a little (very little) space of their own, but most importantly they had their own TV.  Our bed was with a couch and a little table, and it was a perfect amount of space to share for 48 hours.  Everything there has a lodge feel, and that was fun too.

We all agreed, this was one of the most relaxing and fun vacations (and it very much was that!) that we've had in a long time!

A slow week

This past week has been really wonderful.  Although Robert's confirmation doesn't feel like it was an entire week ago, as a whole, the week moved slowly.  It was a very unscheduled week with the exception of the twice daily swim practices.  But because those happen so early in the morning and then again late in the evening, it really felt as though each day was moving slowly.  It's been very nice.

Thomas had a cold this week that caused him to miss practices, but he seems to be feeling a little better now.  This week is much busier than last, and part of that is due to our two-day getaway to Great Wolf Lodge.  We are so excited for this!

Employed

Robert is now employed.  He has received a job at a fast food place here in town.  I'm guessing he will begin in about a week.  We still need to get the work permit put together, and we are going to be out of town for a few days in the middle of the week so it looks as though it will be next weekend before he can begin.  He is not in love with this job particularly, but at his age there simply weren't a lot of people hiring.  Hopefully this will encourage him to work harder in school so he isn't at fast food for the rest of his life!

A day that was good for my soul

Our former school district is still in session all of this week.  I've been through enough to know that things are pretty laid back and informal this week, so I decided to take Catherine and Thomas over to visit former co-workers and friends.  We timed it so we would be there during the lunch/recess time in order to be as non-disruptive as possible.  It was so fabulous to be able to see so many wonderfully familiar faces.  It is so flattering to be as missed as I am.  There were lots of smiles, hugs, and conversations during our visit.  Thomas was even there was the fifth graders ate lunch and he was very welcomed.  Although I shed some tears on the way home, I still whole-heartedly believe this is where we are supposed to be.  At the same time, seeing so many friendly and familiar faces was definitely good for my soul.

We make a good team

I am so incredibly blessed to be part of this team...the team that is my marriage.  I've always known that we are good together, but parenting teens has shown me this even more so.  As we were dealing with an incident a few weeks ago and I was demonstrating tough love, my husband commented that I was very strong to be able to do so.  He felt that I was stronger than he.  I was flattered that he felt that way, but the truth is, there are so many things in parenting that I couldn't do without him.  Right now he is out, and has been for hours, with Robert pounding the pavement for a job.  Andrew made sure that he was dressed appropriately and practiced what to say, how to say it, and how to shake hands.  Robert is very, very good at speaking to adults and apparently has had a good deal of success.  I am so grateful to Andrew for handling this particular step of parenting.  I am so very grateful to be part of this team.

A fun lunch out

Today our family headed to a lake.  This isn't the lake where my dad had his cottage, but rather one that is only about 20 miles west of here.  We've known many people who have gone over for recreational reasons, and we were also aware of a restaurant that is right on the water.  We spent some time driving around and then found the restaurant.  I kept telling the kids that we had no intention of eating out, but honestly, as long as it was open (and had inside seating available...it's only in the 50's today) I was planning to have lunch there.  The food was absolutely fabulous and although it's a bit pricey, it is fun to have a surprise like that everyone once in a while!

Confirmation

Yesterday was Robert's confirmation.  After some very warm weather late last week, it was a cool and damp day...but that doesn't matter inside a church!  There were six students confirmed yesterday, and I was very pleased that Robert spoke with such poise.  We were joined at the church by Andrew's parents, Robert's godparents, and Thomas' godfather and fiance.  They came back to our house afterwards and my mother, sister, grandmother, and two aunts joined us as well.  We all really enjoyed visiting together.

Andrew's parents left after breakfast this morning.  We all came back and took a little nap.  While there are certainly things we need to accomplish, today we are allowing ourselves to enjoy the clean and quiet house!