What a week!

This was a heck of a week.  Andrew regained his voice by the end of the week, so we are grateful for that.  He also had cataract surgery Thursday morning.  We are very grateful that also went well.  He jokes that he will be going back to work tomorrow as a whole new person!  Having some extra time off has helped him to get ahead on the classes he'll be teaching next year, but that is a post of its own.

Thomas also managed to land himself in the hospital Thursday evening.  We aren't entirely certain exactly what happened, but our best guess is that there was a medicine interaction that proved problematic.  His system is just sensitive and fragile.  We left to drive the hour to the hospital and got there at 9:30 Thursday night, then I had to drive the hour home and let the dog out, thinking I'd be going back in the morning, but Thomas ended up being released and I was on my way back up in the middle of the night, so it was 3am before I was in bed.  I went to work later in the day than normal, but needed to make sure I got there because we had to fire a teacher that day.  That was just a really long two days.  Holy moly.

The good news is that Thomas is doing okay, and Andrew and I were able to meet him and Lyndi for dinner this evening.  Yesterday, Andrew and I made a trip to Columbus to visit our friends we hadn't seen since last summer.  It was such a needed visit, although the two hour trip each way was an exhausting drive.

Today before dinner, I spent the day at my mom's working on her house.  It was a actually a little bit fun as we came across some old memories and things we had forgotten about.  Next week Andrew will be gone all weekend, and I'm looking forward to getting some pictures digitized and organized.

I'm exhausted and we are headed into the busiest part of the school year.  But, there are only 23 more school days to go, and then we are going to have a wonderfully carefree summer!

This past week

Andrew's mom went home today.  I miss her already!  I so wished she lived closer, but then if she did she wouldn't need to stay here for long visits, and I love having her.  At the same time, I'm always ready to regain my space after her visit.

Andrew ended up being sick all week.  He has completely lost his voice.  There is absolutely nothing there.  This is day five, and part of him is panicking.  He went back to urgent care, but it seems to still be just a virus.  He feels so much better, but the voice is not returning at all.  As someone who totally relies on his voice for his job, he is growing concerned.  I suspect it he just needs some more time.  

Catherine has also been sick this weekend.  Everyone was going to come over for dinner, but we didn't want her to share her germs, and she didn't need to be exposed to Andrew's germs either.  Thomas and Lyndi did come over and spend the night.  We ordered some food and had a blast (pun!!) watching Artemis splash down.  I love sharing historical events with my kids, and especially Thomas.

We are down to 28 days of school to go.  Can't wait for summer!

It's a beautiful start to September

Today is an absolutely gorgeous beginning to September.  Upper 70's, no humidity, not a cloud in the sky.  AND, a Monday off.  I don't think it gets any better.

August didn't end the way we would have like, with the Irish losing their first game of the season, and to the 'Canes.  But, Thomas was in the emergency room, which was far more relevant in life.  I'm happy to report he was discharged with severe dehydration, although I think it would be best if he kept an eye on things.  His system has always been a bit fragile.  I'm grateful for Lyndi, who takes such good care of him.  And I'm so grateful for my MIL and our relationship, as I have an amazing model for how to have a good relationship with Lyndi.  Nothing pulls at the heart strings though, like a kiddo not feeling well.

September is going to be a BUSY month, but I'm grateful for the opportunities in our life.  I won't lie, I've been a bit emotional about some things, but overall, life is good.

It's hard when the birthday comes so soon

Today would have been my friend Ryan's 51st birthday.  When I have lost loved ones, I've always found the birthdays to be the hardest.  While holidays and celebrations can be hard, I found the birthdays to be the hardest because it is only about that person.  My thoughts are with his family today, and especially with his parents, who undoubtedly have vivid memories of this very day 51 years ago.

Work has been hard lately with a lot of "managing" that has needed to happen.  I get that there is just a lot going on everywhere, but my goodness.  I'm so very grateful that we have arrived at a long weekend.  Andrew has to work tomorrow, but I do not!  I've had a bad cold this week so that has made things even more exhausting.  We are supposed to go visit my MIL this weekend, but we'll see how I'm feeling tomorrow.  Andrew will go regardless, and he should.

I'm grateful for each and every day, even the hard ones!

The end of 2024

I'll be honest, I had high hopes for the year 2024.  Overall, I'm going to have to say it was not one of my favorites.  It was a really hard year with my kids.  Some of it was certainly of their own doing, and some of it is the fact that they are struggling to adult in a world that isn't really set up for young adults to adult effectively.  They are learning, and I am grateful that we are able to help as we can.  We'll miss Lincoln and we'll definitely miss Abby from this year, but overall we are healthy as we head into 2025.

This year has flown by faster than I thought was possible.  I know I wait all year for the holidays, but they will be here again before I know it.  These holidays felt like I blinked and they were done, but I know even though it's another year to go, they are just around the corner.

I've been sick for several days so we are staying home this evening.  I regret not getting able to hang out with our friends, but I'm completely okay ringing in a quiet New Year with just Andrew (and Maudie, our only remaining cat).  For today and tomorrow, I'm completely okay with just vegging on the couch and enjoying football.  And we don't go back to work until next week!

We are healthy

It seems as though a new vehicle may be in my future.  I can't even write about this situation right now as it is too frustrating.  This morning though, Andrew and I went out to start the vehicle and it wouldn't start.  A vehicle is not in the budget right now as it has been a very expensive year.

I won't lie, there have been a lot of times this year when I've felt sorry for myself and almost felt like our family is being punished.  It's been a hard year, and I've worked really, really hard at trying to keep things in perspective, especially here at Christmas.

However, this week has been a stark reminder that our family is healthy, and that is what really matters.  I know that, of course, but sometimes, when finances smack you in the face, it can be hard to remember.  This year though, so many others can't say the same about their family's health.  At the beginning of the calendar year, a student at my school lost her mom to cancer.  We had two other families deal with a cancer diagnosis of their mom.  A young woman whom I've known her entire life (she is younger and I remember when she was born) just found out this month that her husband has a very aggressive cancer, and the prognosis isn't good.  He might have another two years here, and their children are very, very young.  A schoolmate of mine reported this week that her 21-year-old son who was diagnosed with leukemia earlier this year has been told there isn't anything left to do, and it was recommended that palliative care be called in.  They have found a trial in Chicago, but the reality is that Jordan needs a Christmas miracle.  While I firmly believe that is possible, I understand the horror and fear Karie and her family are facing.  Karie's family has already faced a horrible tragedy nearly 30 years ago, and it breaks my heart that they have to go through another one again.

So yes, my family is healthy and I'm eternally grateful.  It will be okay.  We will figure things out.  And we have an amazing (and healthy) family to walk it with us!

It took my breath away

My grandmother is in the hospital.  She is not critically ill, and I'm grateful.  She has a serious infection and needs IV antibiotics.  She isn't in any pain and she doesn't feel awful.  These are all good things.  At the same time, she is 92, and that is simply reality.

I made a trip to the hospital to see her this afternoon.  I needed to stop by her assisted living facility and pick up her glasses.  I decided to take the back roads to the hospital from there, and in doing so, I drove past the house she and my grandfather lived in for the first 29 years of my life.  Oh goodness, driving down that road literally took my breath away.  I was so blessed to have grown up with both sets of grandparents living within a five-minute drive of my home, so many, many trips were made down that road.  It all just felt so surreal.

I don't think this is the end for Grandma, but I do know that she is weakening.  Reality is that she may not be able to return to assisted living...we really don't know what the future holds.  I told her I loved her as I was leaving and she became emotional.  Oh goodness, it's been quite an afternoon.

I'm not at all sure how it is only Wednesday

I have no idea how there are still two more days this week.  I feel that we've had more than enough activity for it to be the weekend, and definitely tomorrow should be Friday.  Last evening I went to bed at 9:00 and slept like a baby.  It was delightful.  It's also perfect sleeping weather.  It is the exact opposite of last week.  Last week was beyond miserable hot, but right now I have a candle lit, and I could probably even put on a sweat shirt if I really wanted to.  It's delightful.  It isn't going to last, but I will take today and tomorrow and revel in it while I can.  And I need it.

Over the weekend, the kids' car that Thomas has been driving began having "issues".  We couldn't get the brake lights to turn off, which happened on Friday.  We couldn't really deal with it then because when Andrew got back from the hospital with Catherine, he needed to head to the football game.  That meant the battery was drained.  We finally got around to dealing with it Sunday.  Through some research, we thought Thomas had fixed it.  Both Catherine and Thomas had appointments at the same time on Monday, and Catherine's vehicle was still at her apartment.  I took the old car and dropped Andrew at school.  When I went to pick him up after school, I realized something wasn't quite right.  Sure enough by the time I got to school, the car was barely moving.  We came to the realization that fixing the brake lights impacted the pedals, so we ended up driving straight to the mechanic.  That was Monday, and we are still waiting to hear what's happening with it.

Catherine's medical tests have all come back normal, which is great, but she is still feeling pretty lousy, which isn't great,  In fact, today she called me and told me she was feeling pretty awful again.  I'm out of answers and suggestions.  I have no idea what is happening with her.  I would love for her to stay here where I could keep an eye on her, but I understand she isn't interested in that.  In the meantime, Thomas has been trying to contact his former university because we had been billed for a semester of tuition, room and board.  He had enrolled in classes in the spring before it was decided he wasn't going back.  He tried calling various departments, and kept getting the run around.  He was so upset today that I received a phone call at work from his girlfriend who was worried about his mental state.  While I'm on the phone, my mother called to ask what I was doing this afternoon because she was on her way to the emergency room.  Her eye doctor was concerned about her blood pressure. 

I'll be honest, that was a lot to deal with this afternoon.  I've realized it's no wonder I was so exhausted.  There is a lot going on.  I know things are working out, and overall things are going to be okay.  And our current weather helps us to be so peaceful.  I am extremely grateful this weekend has an extra day!

Thirty years ago today

It was on this date in 1993 that a very dear high school friend was diagnosed with leukemia.  I'll never forget receiving that phone call, and I'll never forget all of the emotions that happened in the next week before most of us returned to college.  To be honest, it bonded us in a way that is indescribable.  I'm so very grateful that my friend is still around and this day can be a celebration.  It seems so hard to believe that it's been 30 years though.  It definitely feels like a long time ago, but I just can't believe that I had year of college under my belt and it's been 30 years since it happened.  I feel old.

It was also on this date in 1996 that my family began to really understand that my dad was really, really sick.  He was around for another 17 years, and I'm so grateful for all the memories we made in that amount of time.

Andrew and I start with students this week on Wednesday.  This summer was amazingly fast, but I'm ready for another school year!

My mom's health

 I haven't written much about my mom and her health.  We learned in the spring that my mother has a cancerous tumor on her kidney.  The surgery had been planned in June to remove the tumor, although the doctor had stated in April he was completely fine with waiting until fall if she had big summer plans she didn't want to miss.  Because my work schedule is more flexible in the summer, Mom opted for surgery as soon as scheduled.

The afternoon before we left for vacation, Mom suffered what was thought to be a heart-attack.  I phrase it that way because while most cardiologists agree, there is one that does not.  She feels it was a "heart event".  My family, including my mother, assured me that we should go ahead and take our vacation.  The surgery for the kidney was scheduled for the week we returned.  The morning of the scheduled surgery, Mom received a phone call that the surgeon was not comfortable performing surgery on Mom.  Because he had been comfortable waiting in the first place, he felt it would better to wait, and even to do another scan before scheduling surgery at any point.  That was the plan.

Last Sunday night at 11:30 the phone rang.  Mom was asking if Catherine was with us.  When I replied that she was, Mom said that she needed Catherine due to a health issue.  At first I thought she wanted Catherine to take care of her given the nursing background, but soon I realized that Mom was heading to the hospital and Mom wanted Catherine to take care of the dogs.  I decided I was driving up because not only did I not want Catherine driving by herself that late at night, Mom needed someone at the hospital with her and my sister couldn't be reached.  I made the trip up and got to the hospital about 1AM.  At 6:30 mom was finally admitted and I made the drive home, getting home about 8AM, having been up for 24 hours at that point.  Andrew made a trip up mid-afternoon to retrieve Catherine.

Mom was released later that day.  There is agreement that there definitely is a heart issue, but there is still uncertainly what is happening.  Follow up appointments are in the future, and any prayers are appreciated!

It's been awhile

It's been almost three weeks since I've written, and they have been some of the three busiest weeks I've had in a very, very long time.  In fact, my three least favorite days of the school year occur within nine calendar days in May.  Last night was the last of those three days. The reason I don't love those days is that they require 3-4 additional hours of work into the evenings, and preps for receptions.  It's just a lot.

On top of that, I was the sickest I've been in years last weekend.  I could feel it coming on the Thursday before, but that was one of the crazy long days and I needed to push through.  The next day, I needed to be at work because the Head of School was out.  I made it as long as I could, and by mid-afternoon I was out of there.  By that evening I knew I was really sick, and was running a fever of 101.  Andrew woke me up Saturday morning so I could get to Urgent Care early, and I had Thomas drive me.  That's how sick I was!  Thomas had been there earlier in the week, and sure enough I had it too.  I stayed down all weekend, and all of Monday.  I tried going in on Tuesday, but woke up with a migraine, and then went in just long enough to grab some papers for home.  Tuesday afternoon things finally "broke", and I couldn't believe how much better how I feel.  I worked 1/2 day Wednesday, and I've been dragging all week, but we made it to the weekend!  I even made it through the longest day of the school year last night.

We are down to three days left, and I hope I can get on here and post more often as things begin to settle!

There's been a lot going on

I know I've been pretty quiet through April.  There's been a lot going on, and it wasn't all good.  Now awful, but not all good.  My grandmother has had some health issues, and it's had a dramatic impact on how she lives.  It doesn't have to, but she has allowed it to do so.  Because she has begun to isolate herself, she is becoming more and more confused.  She qualified for Hospice Care, which we are very grateful for as it meant she didn't have to move.

My mom has also been having some health challenges.  There had been some issues with her kidneys, and after various test it was determined last week that she has a spot on one of her kidneys that is cancerous.  My mom has been obviously stressed by this, but she did receive good news this week.  We learned that she can have surgery (and there is no rush to do so), and that should take care of it.  I know she was tremendously relieved not to be facing rounds of treatments.  It made the fact that her appointment began 2-1/2 hours after it was supposed to happen worth the wait!

Thomas is officially home from college for the summer.  I picked him up yesterday.  I'm not going to lie, he has really, really struggled with college this year.  He has struggled academically, he has struggled socially, and he has struggled emotionally.  As a parent, it has been so hard to watch.  I can't fix things for him, and I shouldn't fix things.  All I can do is be here and let him know I love him, and of course pray.  Definitely lots of prayers.  Yesterday when he got home, he was so grateful that he was finished and home he brought out his stuff dogs.  Oh, that tugged at my heartstrings!  

There have been a few other things, but they are much less dramatic.  I know that May is going to be absolutely crazy, but I"m so excited about the summer that will be at the end! 

Not today

We had plans with friends this evening.  I love these friends with all of my heart, but I just can't today.  In fact, that is almost what I titled this post..."I can't today."  It's okay, because today I don't have to.  The last two weeks have been hard, and the four weeks before that weren't a piece of cake.  Starting the school year had challenges at my job.  We face the same staffing challenges of many places.  Andrew has worked a lot of athletic events, and I've added them to my schedule as well for some extra money for the kids.  Thomas had his roommate drama and adjusting to school, while Andrew and I are adjusting to empty nesting.  And then of course there is everything with Catherine, more than is for public knowledge.  It's been hard.

I had something every evening this week.  Yesterday's "thing" was handling a bank transaction that required an hour drive each way, and it was a Friday afternoon where I was the only admin staff working and there was some chaos.  I finally made it home just after 6:30, and was so grateful Andrew had thrown a quiche in the oven.  It was a piping hot meal on a chilly Friday evening, and it felt perfect.

As Andrew and I were sitting here last evening, I said to Andrew that it was so nice to be home and be, and he interrupted me by saying that's where the sentence ended.  It was nice to "just be."  And that is what I need this weekend and today.  I love my friends, but I am protecting my mental health.  The thought of going out this evening made me want to cry.  When I told Andrew, he understood completely.  In fact, he said that although he was looking forward to eating out, he didn't want to continue the evening beyond that and that isn't how we do things with these friends.  That's okay, but today, I just can't.

Discharged

Catherine will eventually be discharged sometime tonight.  Poor kiddo, nothing is happening fast.  They ran a very complete series of tests, and everything is fine.  Physically, Catherine is fine.  Emotionally, she is not, and the challenging part is that she doesn't really realize it.  She needs to seek some mental health help, and we will be there every step of the way with her.  I am very convinced she will get through this.  Her official diagnosis is Conversion Disorder.  I am very grateful that they are sending her home, and I'm so grateful that everyone will get to spend the night in their own beds here.  It will be wonderful to have her home, and hopefully she can rest.  And even more hopefully, she can get herself together enough to at least go to classes on Monday.

It's ironic I had to make the drive on this date

Just a day over a year ago, I wrote about Catherine's breakup with a boyfriend.  What I didn't write about, was what happened exactly a year ago today.  I had sent a couple of texts throughout the evening, and she didn't respond.  Andrew was working at an athletic event and he didn't get home until after 9:00.  By then, I was frantic.  I decided I needed to drive to her apartment and make sure she was okay.  Andrew felt I was completely overreacting, but wasn't going to let me go by myself.  While I drove, he attempted to call campus police to have them check on her.  About half way there, in the middle of corn fields, Catherine called us to let us know she was okay.  I've never regretted setting out on that drive.

Today, I made the same drive with almost the same emotions.  Catherine began having seizures again, and went to the e/r.  Andrew went to be with her, and I stayed home with the dog.  I love my daughter, but I don't do well in medical environments, and I'll be honest, I'm a little irritated that she hasn't been doing everything she needs to do to take care of herself.  While they are nearly certain that, just like last time, there is no neurological cause, they have chosen to admit her and run some tests tomorrow.  Andrew needed his computer charger and comfy pants so I took them up to him.  I took our sweet pup along so that Andrew could see her, and he gave her a walk while I went in to see Catherine.  She is in good spirits and I'm convinced that if she starts making better choices she will be fine.

I came home and realized I hadn't eaten dinner yet, so I made myself a big bowl of popcorn and turned on the TV.  I smiled as I realized there a bunch of episodes of "Friends" on back-to-back.  For one thing, it is one of my favorite shows and I appreciate the mindless entertainment.  Additionally, it made me smile, because it made me think back to when this happened with Catherine two years ago.  I was concerned about leaving her alone at that point, and we put this show on because we can all enjoy it, just like we did six weeks ago when Rosie died.  Honestly, it brought me comfort.  I have tremendous faith that everything is going to be fine, and I'm grateful for that peace.

It's been a long day, and I'm so grateful to Andrew for not only being willing to take a day tomorrow and be with her, but for being able to do that without any problems.  And more than anything, I am grateful for my faith.

The middle of our January

The last two weeks have been extraordinarily long.  The first week, I was focusing on school progress reports, and both weeks I've been working on church end of year.  I still have plenty of church work to do, but I'm in decent shape.  At school, we've also been dealing with constant COVID cases.  It was a long week of calculating timelines and determining any in-school exposures.  The hardest part was the phone call I received Monday morning.  Andrew had been at a meeting Sunday afternoon, and the host had tested positive first thing Monday.  He'd been symptomatic, but because his son had a cold and had tested negative twice, he assumed he also had a cold.  We were very grateful to know right away, as it allowed our family to take precautions.  I spent the week sleeping in Catherine's room since she was at college.  Whenever we were all home together, we wore masks.  I didn't love wearing masks in my home, but we were willing in an effort to try to keep it from spreading among us.  My school still follows the ten day quarantine rule, and I don't receive any paid time off.  If I can avoid missing a chunk of a paycheck, I would prefer to do so.  Friday evening I had to take my mom's new phone to her, and while I was gone, I was thrilled that Andrew tested himself and it came back that he was negative!  What an incredible relief.

Meanwhile, Catherine has started her next semester of classes.  For a variety of reasons, she is taking a bit of a lighter class load.  She's still working here in town on the weekends, but not necessarily staying here.  We are proud of her for doing her thing, but as a mom that worry and fretting never ends.

Thomas has so much going on that he really warrants his own post.  He's got a lot going on and we are so proud of him as well.  It's not a normal senior year, but he's hanging in there so far.  He has a lot of work to do and has a lot of decisions to make.

There is a lot of snow in the area, but no so much here.  That is so disappointing.  I love snow!

I would have been okay with one-and-done

Last year at this time, I purchased several sets of masks at Old Navy.  I loved the style of the masks, and I was allowing myself to make a splurge by buying Christmas fabrics.  While some of them were solid colors or patterns that could be worn year-round, many of them were clearly Christmas.  As I put them away last year, I remember thinking that I was totally fine if they weren't used again.

Sadly, of course, that is not how it turned out.  The masks came back out this year, and we are wearing them.  While we are all vaccinated, it doesn't mean that people aren't getting sick.  It's sad.

With concerns ramping up again, I'm working on finding peace in my heart and maintaining peace in my heart.  To that end, although I have a very busy day that started way too early, I am enjoying a few moments in front of the the TV fireplace with carols.  It's lovely.

I was home sick today

Last night I had a bit of a rough night.  I had a terrible stomach ache, and I was just a little bit achy all over.  When I woke up, I decided that I didn't believe I could be sick.  However, after giving myself a little more time to sleep, I woke up and had a low grade fever.  My temp proceeded to go up until the early afternoon.  I slept on and off all day.  While it would have been lovely to actually enjoy a day to myself, that is not what today was.  On the upside, my fever broke mid-afternoon and I feel much better this evening!

Things happening here

We are almost an entire week into August...my least favorite month.  I don't think this year is going to be any different in that regard.  It is, without a doubt, a month of transitions.

Catherine worked her last shift at McDonald's last evening.  We had thought she might keep the job for the fall due to her class schedule.  However, she was able to find what sounds like a great job on campus.  She'll be in food services, which could be anything from dining hall to catering to working in the coffee shop.  It sounds perfect for her!  Classes for her start in two weeks, and I think she will be around here for the bulk of that.  We are disappointed that the majority of her classes are still online this fall, although two are in-person.  She is hoping between that and the new job that she will be able to meet new people.

We are heading to my in-laws today.  This was a pre-planned trip, but made very necessary when my father-in-law suffered what appears to be a stroke this week.  I am dreading this trip, as it very much feels as though this could be the last time any of us, but especially Catherine and I, see him.  As much as Andrew is going to hate losing his father, he hates watching him suffer even more.  I understand that entirely.

The weather has been gorgeous, but it's about to ramp back up to normal weather this time of year.  Just another thing I don't care for about August!

That extra hour sure does make a difference

When the school year started, my alarm was set for 5:15 or 5:20 on work days.  I needed to be out the door at 6:30 in order to get to work, especially since I rarely knew where and how I would be spending my days.  I can't tell you how tired I was, and how many days there was a nap involved for me when I got home!

Now, my alarm is set for 6:15 each day.  Because I am staying up later most nights, it does not mean that I am getting five extra hours of sleep every week.  It does, however, mean that it is better in tune with my natural body clock.  I feel so much less tired...all the time!  That extra hour each morning has made a wonderful difference!