Mother's Day 2026

Mother's Day has arrived again.  It has arrived at the end of another school musical week, and that brings absolute exhaustion.  The Friday after the musical is always such a hard day, and I went to bed at 8pm that night.  I was supposed to spend yesterday working at my mom's house, but between my exhaustion and my allergies it felt like more than I could handle.  Andrew and I spent yesterday doing a bit of shopping instead, and today we literally just hung around the house.  I've been spending some time trying to get things organized (or reorganized), as well as cleaning.  Honestly, it's been exactly the day that I would choose.

I feel a little badly that I didn't see my mom this weekend, but we are seeing lots of each other these days.  Of course, I still wished her a 'Happy Mother's Day' today.  Andrew called his mom, and we are going to take our moms out to dinner at some point.  Catherine, Thomas, and Lyndi all texted today.  It was so sweet of them.  It was odd not to see any of my kids at all though.  And of course, as a parent, there is always the realization that I have three children and no contact with one of them.  Mother's Day also brings up all the memories of those years that I wanted so desperately to be a mother, and I also can't help but think about all of the moms that are no longer with us.  It just seems like a challenging day for so many.

I'm incredibly blessed to have my amazing kiddos, and I'm grateful for so many things.  I'm also incredibly grateful that there are only eight more days of school remaining!

Our fourth full day of parenting

Twenty years ago today, I woke up feeling absolutely miserable.  My in-laws were leaving, and since it was Super Bowl weekend (and the Steelers were playing), extending their stay wasn't an option.  As a sports fan, I get it.  I was able to get into the doctor before they left, and he confirmed I was definitely sick.  When I got home, I started my antibiotics, and then I called my mom and told her she was going to need to come down to help with dinner because I was sick and needed to be in bed.  There was no way Andrew could handle dinner by himself when it had taken the four adults in the house to accomplish it up to that point.  My mom agreed to come and help, and I told her to bring Aunt Cathy with her.  Dad was already sick, and I couldn't take the chance to expose him to my germs.  It was bad enough my mom could possibly carry germs home, but we were desperate!  I know that Aunt Cathy was thrilled to come down and be helpful, because that is exactly who she was.  She loved her family deeply, and was especially happy to spend time with the youngest family members.

This is the end of the really crazy beginning, but I'll probably tell several more "Twenty years ago" stories throughout the year.  It's why I was asked to teach at our adoption agency for many years talking about our first year!

Day three of parenting

Twwenty years ago today was our third full day of parenting and it began very early...at 6am when we could hear a child vomiting in the bathroom.  It was Robert.  He said he hadn't felt well and the mentioned he had told us that Nonie's dinner was going to make him sick!  It was awful.  After we got him and things cleaned up, Andrew and I stood in the bathroom clinging to each other and crying, thinking we had ruined our lives.  I know that sounds ridiculous and dramatic, but we were completely exhausted.  When Thomas awoke, it was time to give him the suppository so we could give him his medication.  I opened the fridge, and the suppositories were no where to be found!  It turns out, the way they were wrapped made Robert think they were candy, and he had eaten them.  I had to call the doctor not only to make sure Robert would be okay, but to request that we receive more suppositories.  The doctor wanted to give me a bit of a lecture on medicine safety, but I pointed out that it needed to be refrigerated.  I know the staff was getting a kick out of our story!  Wowzers!

That afternoon we registered our children for school.  Robert was in Kindergarten, and because Catherine had an IEP, she qualified for the public school special needs preschool program.  That evening, my sweet MIL made us another dinner, and they would be leaving in the morning.  Meanwhile, I was starting to feel quite poorly, but day four is tomorrow's story!

The next day of parenting

When we had taken Thomas to the hospital, they had explained to us that he had an upper respiratory infection and and needed to be seen by his primary physician.  Given that we'd been parents for about 12 hours, we didn't have one, and didn't really have the capability of finding one.  Our doctor treated children and we were fine with it.  We weren't entirely certain how we were going to get him to the doctor as the day before it had taken us all day to get the kids dressed, bathed, and fed.  Looking back that wasn't entirely true, as there were grocery trips and naps involved as well.

Since my in-laws had arrived, they were going to keep the older kids while we took Thomas.  Sure enough, an antibiotic was given, and Andrew picked it up at the cute little small-town pharmacy that was two blocks away.  We gave the dose to Thomas, and it immediately all came back up just as his foster mother had warned us would probably happen.  I called the doctor, and he explained that was a "learned" reaction rather than an allergy, and sent us to get another prescription.  Of suppositories.  Oh boy.  That first time it took three of us to get the suppository in.  This was all literally the first 36 hours of parenting!

Things began to settle in the afternoon. My MIL made a roast for dinner and it was nice to have a home cooked meal.  Robert complained and told us that he didn't like the roast and he shouldn't eat it.  That will come into play about 12 hours later, as this story continues into the next day.  The adoption worker came for her first visit, and twenty years ago today we had survived our second full day of parenting.

Our first full day of parenting

I am going to share our first full day of parenting.  Andrew and I had finally gone to bed about 2:00am.  Our bodies were still on west coast time!  Thomas was struggling with the asthma a bit, and we knew we needed to check on him every two hours or so.  I finally fell asleep sometime between 2:30 & 3.  I awoke  around 4 to check on Thomas, and knew he needed a nebulizer treatment.  About 1/2 hour later, I woke Andrew because I was pretty sure we needed to take him to the hospital.  Oh boy, here we go!  I called my mom around 5am because we didn't want to wake the other kids.  She needed to shower and dress, and then it was a 45 minute drive to out house.  We were finally on our way out the door at 6:30 and at the hospital by 7.  I was horrified that Robert and Catherine were going to wake up the very first morning with their new parents and we weren't going to be there!

I vividly remember how kind everyone was at the hospital.  We went to the nearest hospital because this did not require a specific children's hospital.  And of course, we pretty much couldn't answer a single question they asked of us because we had only been responsible for parenting him for about 12 hours!   Truly though, they were so kind and helpful, and gratefully, we were back home a little after 9am.  Because the kids were also still on west coast time, they were still asleep when we got home. 

My mom left shortly after the kids awoke, and it was then we realized how many things we didn't have that we needed, including diapers!  I volunteered (or ran out the door, haha) to go to the grocery, leaving my poor, sweet hubby at home with all three kiddos.  The house was a disaster.  The kids had taken every box of toys and toys on the shelves and dumped absolutely everything on to the floor.  Our dear neighbors called and wanted to come over and meet the kids.  At first Andrew refused, but then realized they had raised five children and could probably be helpful!  They came over and kept an eye on the kids while Andrew got some food made, and even cleared a path through our home so we could walk.  

Andrew's parents were scheduled to arrive late afternoon.  Thankfully, they were staying at a bed & breakfast in town and not with us at the house!  They called and mentioned they were stopping to do some shopping, and Andrew begged them not to...we needed help!  I'll never forget them walking in and being so excited to see the kids (Thomas was napping).  Shortly after arrival, they offered to let Andrew and I take a nap.  BEST OFFER EVER!

I remember coming down the stairs after napping and my FIL asking what was for dinner.  My response was to ask what he was going to go get us.  It had taken us all day to get the kids bathed and dressed and eating breakfast and lunch.  I.  Was. Done.  We finally fell into bed that evening, but there was more to come in the next few days!

Twenty years ago today I met my children

Twenty years ago today, I met my children.  As I explained recently, my children are an adopted sibling group.  We flew across the country twenty years ago today and were to spend five days getting to know my children and their routines and needs.  My children were adopted out of the foster care system, but were not in the same foster home.  Robert and Catherine were together, and Thomas was in a different home.  When we went to the house where Thomas was living, we had been told he didn't like men.  But as we left that day, Thomas reached out and wanted my husband to hold him.  I think he knew Andrew was his dad.  When we met Catherine and Thomas, Catherine stood at the top of the stairs and I'll never forget seeing this little girl yelling, "Mommy, Daddy" when we walked in the door.  It was an overwhelming few days, but the last two decades have been full of so many blessings!

Twenty years of parenting

Twenty years ago Andrew and I learned we were going to be parents.  I've purposely never written about it, but my kiddos are an adopted sibling group.  It was 20 years ago today that Andrew and I received the phone call that we were going to become parents.  It was, without a doubt, the greatest gift we ever received.  I can't believe that 20 years have gone by.  It has absolutely flown by.

Sunday took a turn

After I wrote on Sunday, the day took a dramatic turn, and not for the best.  Catherine called.  Her friends and roommates were with her, and she had learned some dramatic information about her boyfriend and she wanted to end the relationship.  We've realized he isn't the must stable person, and things took a dramatic turn that resulted in us heading to her.  It was more drama then any of us wanted for the evening, and it was nearly 9:00 before we got home.  Catherine ended up having a very emotional night, and his reactions and behaviors only convinced her that he was not someone she wanted to be with.  Being totally honest, we aren't at all sad that this relationship is not continuing.

It was a dramatic ending to our weekend, but it doesn't change the the time we had with our kids earlier in the weekend.  We are so grateful for this phase, and we love our kids so much!

Last day: the end of a parenting era

Thomas was out the door the morning as usual, but it was no usual morning.  It was the very last day of school for Thomas, and therefore the very last day Andrew and I would be parents of a school student.  Oh my goodness, it has gone so incredibly fast.  My heart hurts a little, but I'm so incredibly grateful.  It definitely feels a little surreal.

This part never ends

This morning, Thomas had to be at school at 7AM for band trip.  Just as an FYI, you can add this to the list of things I most certainly will not miss about parenting students.  Anyway, as he was walking out the door, I realized how very much this part won't end.  As he walked out the door, I said a little prayer that he make safe and healthy choices, that he be safe on the drives and throughout the day.  That part absolutely won't end even as he graduates school.  Those prayers will always be sent up for my children.

Check another one off the list

With our youngest child going through his senior year, there are many "lasts" that are coming our way.  I know for some parents, that can bring sadness, and I am not immune to that.  However, there are things I an NOT going to miss, and yesterday's activity was one of them!  Each MLK, Jr. weekend, there has been a HUGE swim meet where our team parents had to work.  It's the only fundraiser our team has to do because it brings in so much money.  It is packed with people (which I don't love) and I usually have to be at the pool at an obscene time (which I also don't love).  I was assigned the early shift again this year, and I practically did a jig when I walked out of there at 11:30 yesterday.  I felt the same way when band camp ended this year.  I am grateful those responsibilities are behind us!

Band camp week with roadblocks

One thing I knew I didn't miss during COVID last year was band camp.  I was so, so right.  This year, it seems as though we've had added roadblocks thrown at us.  The school decided that we couldn't feed the students dinner in the cafeteria.  Not only that, but we couldn't even walk through the cafeteria.  That meant we had to take everything outside to move it to the upstairs auxiliary gym, which is where it had been decided we could eat.  We managed to push & lug the coolers to the trainer's room where we found that the ice machine had no ice.  We then managed to push & lug the coolers to the outdoor trainer's room.  We also found out that the elevators weren't working and the custodians hadn't moved the tables upstairs.  To be totally honest, Andrew began swearing at that point (obviously no kids were around).  We got it all handled though, but we are definitely exhausted.

The rough part is this is Monday...and camp lasts all week.  The thought of taking those coolers up and down those steps every day is a little overwhelming.  It's our last year though, so I keep telling myself that next year it will be someone else's problem!

Thinking of my kiddos

My heart is with my kiddos today.  There are some exciting possibilities as well as some struggles that both are facing.  I know they don't understand how they always have a piece of my heart with them, and I know they can't understand that until they become parents themselves someday...hopefully not anytime soon!  I'm so grateful to be their mother, and of course wish I could just make everything in life so easy for them.  Overall, things are well, but I'm sending up a few prayers on their behalf today!

Things change

I know that we all know that things change, but two examples have happened in the last 24 hours that really drove it home to me.  First, we learned last night that school will be online for at least the first quarter, and I'm guessing it could end up being the entire year, the way things are playing out in our state.  While school is online, there will be very little reason, if any, for Thomas to need to be up before 8:00 each morning.  I can't say this makes me unhappy!  Ironically, it was four years ago that we learned that Robert's bus would be picking him up each day at 5:45, meaning we were going to be having a 5:00 alarm.  This is a change I don't mind at all!

Yesterday the ONLY thing we had on our calendar was Andrew's school training from 3-5.  I happened to be noticing that on our calendar four years ago we had Robert's cross country practice from 8-9:45, a haircut for me at 9, a haircut for Andrew at 10:30, eye appointments for both Catherine and Thomas at noon, Andrew had middle school football practice from 4-6:30, Robert had a doctor appointment at 4, and Catherine had band practice from 6-9.  Yikes!  Certainly, some of the lesser schedule is because of the pandemic (otherwise Thomas would have had band practice yesterday), and some is because there is only one teen contributing to our calendar these days.  Somedays this particular change is hard to accept.   I always knew this is how it would be though, and I'm just going to hold on to each moment my kiddos are here with me!

Mother's Day 2020

It's been a fairly quiet day around here.  Catherine had to work eight hours today.  I spent the day cleaning the house, and then I worked on labeling photos to put in an album.  I got all of 2013 finished, although I realized there are still a couple of months that need to be printed.  I spoke to my mom earlier, and we are planning to see her tomorrow.  I'm sure Andrew and Thomas will call sometime later today.  I really look forward to seeing them on Tuesday.  Overall it has been a pleasant day.

I appreciate being off work on the Monday after Daylight Savings

No jobs came up for today.  I always enjoy working, but I can't deny having today off isn't a bad thing.  I often think this is one of the roughest work days of the year.  I went back to sleep after everyone left, and our sweet Abby came and slept with me.  Once I got up, she has settled in and cuddled right next to me.  There are many, many things I should be doing, but honestly, this is so peaceful and comforting just like this.  Having our sweet pup curled up right next to me makes my heart full.

Overall, our family had a decent weekend.  I am finding parenting teens to be the most stressful thing I could have ever imagined.  Honestly, it is terrifying.  Parenting teens keeps me in a constant conversation with God.  I appreciate my faith and I'm grateful for it, but I really don't think there is anything in this world that can make me feel more vulnerable than parenting.  We had a surprise visit from very dear friends this weekend, and it was so wonderful to get to spend a few hours with them.  They are so incredibly supportive, and they love us and understand.  They have had their own struggles as parents, and I never forget that.  I am so grateful for them and their surprise visit.

Today is an absolutely gorgeous day.  There is some sun and temps near 60.  It's a lovely day to be off!

A very quiet Sunday afternoon

It's been a very quiet Sunday afternoon, and that was much needed.  Catherine had to work, and Andrew took Thomas to a friend of my mother's house to collect some scrap metal.  Poor Andrew, he's really worked hard this weekend.

The house is all picked up from the swim meal Friday, and we've not really been home to mess it up since then.  I allowed myself to take a nap and work on some things like laundry and dishes...nothing major.  I needed a little time to myself, as it's been such an emotional few weeks.  As my children get older, the parenting feels so much tougher.  I wouldn't trade one day of being their parent for anything, but it's so hard to watch them try to navigate this huge world.  I never want to see my children hurt in any way, and I just can't make that happen.  It's draining beyond words, and I know every parent understands.

I am very grateful for the opportunity to recharge a little this afternoon.  We are hanging out as a family this evening to watch the Super Bowl.  Nothing fancy...some french bread pizzas and a big bowl of popcorn for a snack.  The important thing is that we get to be together!

Parenting is not for the weak

Even before I became a parent, I knew that parenting was not for someone who wasn't willing to make sacrifices or become inconvenienced.  Parenting is inconvenient...there is never a great time for your child to vomit in the middle of the night! 😁

Beyond that though, parenting will hurt in more ways than anyone could ever imagine...until it is happening.  It is rarely a physical pain, although most parents would take that on for their children without even thinking about it.  Mostly, it is an emotional pain.  Yesterday, I can't even express my feelings in the morning when I worried about Thomas.  There were a couple of times when it took everything I had not to sit and cry, and when we finally got the word that it was all okay, I wanted to cry even more, although that would've been tears of relief.

This morning, Catherine behaved in a way that I can't even describe because she broke a rule involving her cell phone, so I relieved her of possession of said phone.  One would think I had told her I was cutting off her arm...to her it apparently was the same thing.  Andrew and I both worked very hard at reining in our patience during her slamming, throwing, and just general tirade.  Oh goodness.

Don't get me wrong, I am so grateful every day to be the mother of these kiddos...but anyone who thinks it is "easy" isn't being honest.  I also completely acknowledge that these two situations are NOTHING compared to what some parents have to deal with, especially those parents who may have a child who struggles with health issues.  Parenting at every level is tough, but I wouldn't trade it for the world!

He's changed

As I was back to school last week, it was fun seeing some of the changes that occurred in the kids over the summer.  I think it is especially true in this year's sophomores.  My son is no exception.  He is such a different person.  He is definitely no longer a boy.  I thought this was true last year, and maybe it was, but not like this year.  Andrew and I are really so proud of the way Thomas is handling himself.  He seems to have gained some confidence in how he handles himself.  He used to be terrified to talk to his teachers, but now he seems to be developing relationships with them.  He seems more focused and dedicated when it comes to his school work.  I know this probably won't be the case about everything all year, and I know things won't be perfect.  But by this time last year, he already wanted to be "done" with school.  We will take what we can get.  He's also physically matured in his stature.  Not only is he taller, but he is stronger, and he knows he can physically handle tasks that are assigned to him.  He is much more patient with himself and his surroundings.  These are all good things.

At the same time, his social maturity is not there yet.  Sometimes when we talk that little boy comes out again...and it isn't just because I am his mother.  The friends he is still choosing...not awesome.  I worry about these things, just like I worry about the fact that Catherine seems to purposely choose NOT associating with people.  Parenting is the most challenging and emotionally gut-wrenching thing I have done.  Sending daily prayers to parents and kids everywhere!

I almost can't even imagine it

Last evening Catherine was studying on her bed.  She has steps next to her bed so the cats (and sometimes our pup) can get up and down from her bed.  As I walked in to tell her good night because I was going to bed (some much needed extra sleep), our sweet cat Rosie was on the steps looking at Catherine.  Rosie and Catherine have an incredibly special connection, and always have.  Catherine always refers to Rosie as "my kitten" and Rosie loves the attention from Catherine.  Catherine frequently mentions that she is concerned about going away next year because no one else gives Rosie any attention.  I point out that is often because Rosie won't let us, but that isn't really the point.  Regardless, last evening when I walked in and saw Catherine and Rosie there, and heard Catherine talking to Rosie, my emotions ramped up.  I've been hearing this week from so many other parents who are taking their child off to college this week.  For many, it is the first for them.  In some cases it is the first for their last child, and I don't even want to think about that right now!  There was part of me that almost can't even imagine walking past Catherine's room each night without her being there.  Oh my goodness, that is a tough mental picture.  I'm so grateful for my sweet girl.