My mom is moving

I'm not sure if I have mentioned this, but my mother is moving.  She has decided to move into what was my grandparents' house.  To be honest, I've never thought this was a good idea.  The house in which she currently lives is smaller, has a smaller lot, is in a lovely little neighborhood, and is completely handicap accessible.  Every in the family loves my grandparents' house though, and my grandparents built it in 1952 so it's never been out of the family.  My grandmother left the house is absolutely horrific condition.  I'm not sure she had thrown anything away in years.  My sister has been helping a lot, and a good friend of my mother has been very helpful as well.  My cousin and her family have also been at the house a lot.  Our family was trying to be helpful, but we also needed to get ready for Catherine's grad party a couple of weeks ago.  And when Catherine's episodes began happening, mom understood that I needed to be here and focus on life here.  Today though, I was able to make a trip back to Mom's and be helpful.   I know how quickly she wants this done, and to be honest, it just adds to my stress.  In many ways, if school does go remote again, it would give me more time to be helpful, and might even do me good to get out of the house if everyone else is here.  Mom is hoping that she can host Christmas this year.  That would be helpful!

I remember six years ago

It was six years ago today that we made the offer and had a deal on this house.  I remember the night before, after we had decided to make an offer, that I was up crying most of the night.  Moving here was never something I had ever truly wanted to do.  I don't like change, and not only were we leaving our dear friends in our former town, we were moving further away from my family.  I was going to leave a subbing situation that I truly loved, and it all just made me sad.  I knew though, that it was best for our family.

I was so right!  I love this little 1/2 acre of land that we take care of.  There are still many days I can't believe we get to live on this beautiful little place.  These schools have been so much better for the kiddos than where we left, and I truly am aware of how many little memories we get to make each day because we are all in the same school.  I am so incredibly grateful that we made the move, regardless of how tough it was at the time!

We have lived here five years

It absolutely doesn't seem possible that we have lived here five years.  We are closer to Thomas's graduation date than we are to the day we moved in.  I absolutely love this house and I love where we live.  It has become my home and it brings me much peace and comfort.  The school (particularly the high school) is the center of our lives and I'm so grateful we get to share so much of it together.  I still don't love living in this town, but I try to be grateful for having so much here.  We miss so many people in our former town, but we still see them.  That town still feels much more like home though.  It absolutely does not feel like five years since we left!

Game Changers

Late last week, one of Andrew's colleagues asked about something in our life that truly changed our life.  It could be an event, or music, something written...anything.  For awhile I didn't respond, but then I did.

Of course meeting my husband was life changing, along with getting married, and definitely becoming a mother.  But those events are pretty much life changing for everyone.  I wanted something more specific to me.  Six years ago next month, Robert decided to leave behind the unpleasant known factor of our previous school district and go to school at my husband's district.  I was so amazed with him that he was willing to make a change.  I hate change, and almost no matter what, I prefer the known to the unknown (oh, the posts I could write about that!).  I was so impressed with my child who was willing to jump into the unknown in order to attempt to find something better.

A year later of course, the big change came when we decided that our entire family was going to move to town.  For the younger two, of course it meant switching schools.  I will never forget the anxiety and dread I felt the first day Catherine and Thomas had to start at their new schools, and I can only imagine how they must've felt.  However, they NEVER complained or made one negative comment about our move.  I was then, and am still, completely in awe of how they jumped on board with enthusiasm at our major life change.

It definitely was a time in life filled with much emotion for me, and I wasn't particularly happy.  However, I never doubted that this move was the best decision for our family, and I'm grateful for that sense of peace.  Of course now, I can't imagine my life anywhere else!

It felt like going home

Last week I had to take both Catherine and Thomas back to our former town for a doctor appointment.  We were ridiculously early.  I tend to be an overplanner, and I had a very scheduled day so I we got into town unbelievably early.  It is a 45 minute drive, and I just never know how long it is going to take.  Anyway, we were so early that I didn't want to go into the office just yet because I knew there was no way they were going to be ready for us.  We decided to take a quick jaunt around town and specifically wanted to drive past our old house.  While I loved that house, I don't miss it.  The house we live in now is so much better for us and it honestly feels like a dream come true.  Regardless, we drove past the house and the kids commented on a couple of changes they noticed.  I think Thomas misses the house a bit, and I know that we all miss that town.  As we were driving around town, I couldn't get over just how much it felt like we were "home".  It's different there, and I can't explain it.  Andrew has always said after the kids graduates he wants to move back there, and maybe we will.  It will always be a special place to me.

Our friends are moving

About this time four years ago, our family was in full-swing moving mode.  I remember being incredibly stressed and overwhelmed, but also excited.  I was especially looking forward to living in our new (to us) house that was so much more functional for our family, and I was also looking forward to the new opportunities that our family would share.

Four months ago today, my friend Jodi shard with us that her husband had decided to leave his job.  I immediately began to panic, because if he wanted another university job, it obviously was going to have to be somewhere else.  She assured me though, that they were not particularly interested in relocating.  Jodi and James are really the only couple Andrew and I connected with over the years, and are the only couple we really hang out with.  Unfortunately, even with being willing to change careers, James couldn't find a job here.  I knew that Jodie was making trips to Columbus for job interviews and was pretty sure our friends were leaving.

Six weeks ago today, I got online and saw our friends' house was for sale.  I knew what it meant, and I wasn't happy about it.  I spent time with her the next evening and she told me how it had all come to be.  The nice thing is that she is so excited about it.  She will actually be living closer to her family, and things are working out with relocating.  I'm happy for her and I remember the excitement of our move, and I can appreciate their new opportunities.  At the same time, I also have a new appreciation for those that we left behind!

Empty storage units

One of the "functions" of the company where I worked with my dad for six years (and where he worked for 30+ years) was their storage unit division (think PODS).  Nearly seven years ago, when we were planning to relocate within the same town but to a bigger house, my dad had three units delivered to our house...and we filled them pretty well.  Even after we took the house off the market, the storage units sat.  Five years after they were initially placed in the back of our drive way we were informed that it was a violation of city code (only took them five years to notice or care) and so Dad had them taken back to the storage facility, although by then we managed to cram things into just two of them.  As Dad's daughter, we never had to pay the monthly fee...it was a "perk" of being part of the family (and a former employee).  After Dad died, I knew that we needed to get our stuff out.  Mom mentioned that she had two units as well.  We had planned a day shortly after school was out, but Mom ended up having the PEG tube put in and I had to be there.

Fast forward to this past Friday at 4:00.  I get a message that the units have been sold and we need to get our things as quickly as we can.  Oh my...STRESS!  Fortunately, and amazingly, everything completely fell into place.  I was able to reserve a uhaul, a couple of friends agreed to meet us at the office to load it, and another friend volunteered to meet us at home to unload.  Yet another friend agreed to keep Catherine and Thomas for the day until we were finished so they would be out of the way.  We could not have better friends anywhere!  We are so blessed!

We were very pleased to see how little stuff there really was, particularly in my Mom's units.  We ended up pitching stuff I truly didn't need, and honestly it was stuff that should've been pitched seven years ago!  Andrew is especially excited that he can STILL park a vehicle in our detached garage if he wants.  I am impressed...and very, very relieved that this is finished!

The one downside to this was my emotions...I haven't been at the office since Dad died.  I was going to stop in and see everyone a couple of months ago, but I just couldn't do it.  It was too hard.  Lots of the guys came out to see me today, and I slipped in the back door to say hello to another employee.  But I couldn't walk up front...I couldn't walk past his desk or go anywhere near there even.  Even sitting here thinking about it brings me to tears.  It's been a tough, tough day emotionally, but I am so grateful we've made it through.

One year ago today

At almost exactly this time one year ago, we had "officially" begun our house search.  We were looking at several houses with a realtor and thinking we would be moving this summer.  How wrong we were!  This house wasn't even on our list, but it fit our needs so well in our price range...and got us here by the start of last school year (although barely!).  We made many phone calls to family members, especially those here in town, and Mom and the Grandmas made arrangements to come down and see it the next day.  I regret that Dad never got to see it here, but I know that he knew we really liked it here.  I remember trying to sleep that night, and getting up to go downstairs because I was crying so hard and didn't want to wake Andrew.  I knew it was going to be a good move, but I was so very sad about what I knew I would be leaving behind.

And I was right in that regard.  I loved the subbing job I had there, and we had amazing friends.  We are learning that we aren't sure that we are going to be able to replicate the friendships here.  It is something we have come to accept.  It's still been a great move.  I am so grateful for this house which is so much more functional than our old one, and I especially love having a lot that is .55 acres...the kids are having a blast, and honestly, so do we!

In the meantime, it's been a hell of a year.  Even then, I can see the blessings in this move.  With Mom being sick now and needing so much help, I can't imagine how we could've managed to move this summer.  Our house sold fairly quickly, and we got almost our entire asking amount (even though it was significantly less than what we had paid thanks to the housing market).  I can't imagine having worried about Andrew on the roads this past winter, and it made Robert's activities here so much more manageable...and gave Catherine and Thomas additional opportunities as well.

Realizing that this journey began exactly one year ago really points to how much life can change in a year!

Track

Yesterday was Robert's second track meet of the season.  It was such a blast because our old school district was there, so I was able to catch up with some good friends, and I got to cheer on some great kids as well.  Robert enjoyed getting to see some old acquaintances and catching up with a few people as well.  I was also so proud of how he did overall!  He won his heat in the 200m hurdles!  We were stunned...he looked really fabulous out there.  In fact, one of the coaches of our old school talked to me at the end said he was really impressed with Robert's stride and form.  It was so great to see Robert succeed.  Even though he didn't win the overall event, it was still so great to have him be able to finish in front of the rest of his pack.  Everyone deserves to feel some success!

The meet brought out a few other emotions as well.  It was so wonderful to be able to see some friends and visit with people I've missed a great deal.  It's hard knowing we (but especially I) left all of that behind to make this move.  And yet, it was another example of knowing that this move was the best thing that we could've done.  Our old school district dominated the meet yesterday and both boys and girls teams won in a landslide.  Now, I suppose some could say that why wouldn't I want Robert to be a part of that success?  But he would never have the opportunities to participate as he is now if he had to compete against those other athletes for time.  He isn't going to be a stellar athlete, and none of us care about that.  But he's getting to participate and he's having FUN.  I am so grateful we made the decision we made!

Still adjusting

Last evening was a prime example that Andrew and I have not completely adjusted to our new town...there is still some ways to go in that regard.  We attended the annual athletic boosters fundraiser.  I had been looking forward to it all week.  An evening out with adults sounded divine!  I am struggling a bit with the fact that not only do I not have any friends here, but this winter has been so brutal that I can't really be out.  My "old" friends aren't that far away, but in this weather it's too far.  I knew that we would know many people last night and I was really looking forward to that.

I acknowledged before we left that I was tired.  Robert had to be at a scouting function in our old town which required us to leave our house about 7:15 in the morning.  We then had a day full of basketball games and errands, and of course another trip back to our old town early afternoon to retrieve Robert.  But still, I was looking forward to the evening.

About an hour into it though, I was wondering how much longer we had to stay.  The kids were all tired and I was afraid they might implode on each other if left alone too long, and frankly, I was bored.  We did know several people there, especially Andrew, and he did a wonderful job of introducing me.  However, not one single person there could I consider a friend.  There was only so much small talk I could make throughout the course of the evening, and then it became evident nothing was left to say...and usually the person I was chatting with had friends and would move on anyway.  Andrew was very understanding when I decided it was time to go, and surprisingly, he felt the same way I did.  He knew many people there, but agreed it was mostly just small talk that grew awkward after time.  Obviously we still have a ways to go with making friends, and I'm hoping that we will be able to do so.  We are very blessed to have wonderful friends not too terribly far away, but it would be so very nice to be able to have some right here in town!

Friendly familar faces

Tuesday evening I had received a message that the jr. high wrestling team where we used to live was coming to our new town for a meet.  I was SO EXCITED!  I looked forward to it literally all day, and I don't even overly like wrestling.  But I was so excited to be able to go and see people I know who know me!  That probably sounds a little ridiculous, but as I looked at the crowd from the "home" team, I literally knew not one single person...not the coaches, none of the parents, none of the wrestlers.  Yet on the visiting side, I could name every wrestler, the coach was our former neighbor, and I got to sit and visit with the parents...people I used to see frequently.  It was so fabulous to be able to do so.

When I came home and told Andrew about it, I began to cry.  I didn't want to, but I did.  It was just so nice to be known and recognized again...everyone needs that.  I know that it will eventually happen here as well.  I've become involved in band boosters, and eventually we will meet people through our kids and hopefully once we settle on a church that will also help.  Andrew felt so badly last night about me crying, and I reassured him that I was still glad we made this move.  I have never once questioned that this was the best decision for our family as a whole, and I know that eventually I will feel comfortable again.  In the meantime, it was such an absolute treat to be able to see friendly familiar faces last evening!

It was very lovely

In spite of the fact that my father passed away six weeks ago today, I really enjoyed Christmas.  I am not at all certain that my mother, grandmother, and sister would agree with my assessment, but having kids helps tremendously.  They keep the magic and wonder in the holiday...and keep this mom smiling.

Christmas Eve ended up being almost exactly what I wanted, although there were parts of the day that were tough.  Not only did I miss Dad, I was feeling so very alone and a little "lost" in our new town where we really don't know anyone.  We went to 3:30 Mass, followed by our annual Chinese food for dinner.  After we ate, we drove around neighborhoods in our new town.  We loved the fact that in the community park we were able to watch some deer...it was so quiet and there was literally not another vehicle around.  When came home, and the kids were able to open their gifts from out-of-town friends, and we gave them the one gift they receive each year from "Mom & Dad"...pajamas!  We all curled up on the couch (we recently purchased a new, very large couch) and settled into watch our DVD of "Charlie Brown's Christmas" and the animated "Grinch who Stole Christmas" was on as that ended.  I then read 'Twas the Night Before Christmas to everyone and Thomas and Catherine especially, were eager to get to bed.

Everyone was up and at 'em about 8:00 on Christmas morning.  The kids were very thrilled with their gifts, and Andrew and I also received so many fun presents.  We were able to have a somewhat lazy morning before making the 75 minute drive to my sister's house.  Our little immediate family exchanged gifts before aunts/uncles/cousins arrived for dinner.  It was pretty much bed time by the time we arrived home, and to be honest, I was equally exhausted.

There were definitely times that I missed Dad and tears would start to form, but overall it was nice.  I also know that each day and each year will get easier in terms of him being gone, so this was the toughest one.

Today we are trying to get some things taken care of before we head east to visit Andrew's parents, but we just found out before we leave town we get to sign papers to close the sale on the house tomorrow!

We have a deal!

We worked out a deal on our old house.  It isn't the one we thought it would be.  It's the one with the better $$, but it does carry a little more risk that it could fall apart due to financing issues.   However, this guy seems to really want the house.  He made a VERY strong offer and took the time to write up an offer right after seeing the house.  The other guy on the other hand, never actually wrote up an offer, but his original offer was so low it was almost insulting (our house is priced VERY reasonably so it would sell quickly).  In addition, his submission included how he was a retired bank vice-president and other completely irrelevant information.  Honestly, I felt his arrogance coming through the email...as if we were just supposed to assume that he was right on his price and it should be done his way because of who he is.  I wasn't sad when he refused to meet our final price.  Now, hopefully all will go well with financing and inspections on the other buyer, and all will be good to go!  We really feel it has all worked out in the long run, and we hope that the new buyer enjoys the home as much as we did!

Letting go

There is a good chance that we are going to have a deal to sell our house within the next 48 hours (unless I just jinxed us!).  We actually have two offers on the table.  One offer is great in terms of the dollar amount, but contains some higher risk that the deal could fall through.  The other deal is sad and pathetic in terms of the dollars, but is pretty much guaranteed to go through.  Negotiating is not my thing, but we will see what happens.

I'm very relieved at the prospect of having it sold, and yet it also makes me a little emotional.  While I certainly have no intention of ever living there again, there was always a part of me that could go back and see the place where so many fabulous family memories occurred.  Last night as we were discussing things, Andrew made the comment that he just hopes whoever buys the house takes good care of it.  In that regard I guess I'm grateful that we won't be living in town anymore in case they don't...I won't have to see it every day.

I know that home is where my family is, and my family is doing great right here in our new place.  I am so incredibly grateful for the blessings of these people in my life, and for all of the opportunities we have!

Why we moved here

I don't want to fail to mention that from an academic standpoint, we have been absolutely thrilled with moving to this school district, and that was one of the biggest reasons we chose to move here.  At our old school district, there was a computer lab...one lab for each building.  And as a sub, I can assure you that you were lucky if all 25 computers happened to work that day...it was unlikely to be the case.  I can remember hoping for absent students on computer lab days in hopes that we could piece together enough working computers for everyone to use one.  Here, at Thomas's school, everyone in his class, and all fourth grade classes (not sure about other grades) are assigned their own school iPad.  There are also two chromebook mobile labs that his class has used for many things.  Catherine has raved about the technology as well.  They are just amazed after what they came from.

It isn't just the technology though.  Catherine has been able to join Yearbook and Robert is participating in a service club and jazz band...opportunities that would not have existed for them this year had we not moved.  Catherine is also able to attend weekly after school math tutoring...a direct result of living in a college town (college volunteers!).  We did not sign Thomas up for the art lessons he had hoped to take where they would bus him from his school to the lesson (we are waiting until spring) but he is signed up to take a foreign language after school starting in January.  He was able to choose from Spanish, German, Latin, Italian, French, Chinese, Japanese, and American Sign Language.  The class is an hour for nine weeks for only $25...and it's at his school (again, gotta love college volunteers)!  These are the opportunities we are so grateful that our children are receiving.

This move also gave Catherine the opportunity for a fresh start.  This girl prided herself last year on never saying anything in her classroom.  I thought she was just shy and quiet in a classroom setting, but apparently that is not the case.  Her teachers have told us how personable and involved she is in her classes...this is not the girl we knew!  Obviously there was something about the former school's environment (most likely some very poorly behaved girls) that intimidated her.  But here, Catherine is blossoming.

This is why we moved here!

On strike

Please know that I am writing this post without irritation or anger.  It simply is what it is.

As of today, I am officially on strike.  I have spent the last nine weeks working my rear off in order to get our old house ready for sale, and I did 90% of the work by myself.  I am not complaining about this.  I did not have another job...except of course for being "mom" at home.  And of course for the several weeks prior to the move, I focused on packing and getting things ready...mostly by myself.  Again, I am not complaining.  That was a result of being a total control freak.  However, the children do not seem to be able to pick up after themselves...make their beds or take dirty clothes to the laundry room.  They can't even put their shoes in their room...they simply leave things where they are.  I had to ask three times last night for the children to put their plates in the dishwasher.  THREE TIMES!  So today I am going to sit and relax and enjoy life.  I refuse to do laundry or to clean or to pick up.  I simply refuse.  And I shall refuse until they can make their beds, etc.  This shall be interesting to see how long it takes them to get on board.

Having my life back

This might sound overly dramatic, but I feel like I have my life back.  For the last nine weeks, I've been living in our new house but working in our old house.  The only days when I didn't go to the old house were days that I had scheduled with some other necessary activity...and working and organizing our new house was not considered a necessary activity.  Most days for the last nine weeks I've put my "new life" on hold and gone back to our "old life."  And in the meantime, some of our necessary activities have consisted of hospital/sickness of our youngest and my father as well as funerals.  I didn't realize how much stress I had been feeling until this weekend, when I didn't feel as though I had to be running back to the old house.  I felt such a tremendous weight lifted all weekend.  My husband even commented on how much happier and relaxed I seemed.

In addition to the stress, there was also an emotional toll of going back almost every day.  My life is here now, in our new home and our new town.  But almost every day, I was going back to our old house in our old town.  As the day would progress I would inevitably compare it to last year and what I would normally have been doing at that time...it's just the way I am.  But now I truly feel as though I can focus on life here...and let me assure that our house desperately needs that focus!  I am looking forward to feeling as though I am finally moving forward!

A rainy Saturday

I am grateful for the rainy Saturday today.  Andrew will be bringing Robert home from scouts in about an hour and we have nowhere to be the rest of the day.  None of us are feeling great, although none of us feel lousy, and I'm hoping we can really make some progress on getting this house put together.  It has been eleven weeks since I had no where to be on a Saturday, and I'm treasuring it.

Our old house is ready for sale!  We worked our rears off this week and it's ready to be listed.  I'm a little annoyed in that it was supposed to be listed Thursday and nothing has appeared yet.  I'm not going to be pleased if Monday comes and goes and there is nothing.  It is such a super huge relief to have that all done.

Happy Saturday!

Feeling at "home"

Why did I put quotations around "home"?  Because I'm not sure where that is these days.  Don't get me wrong, I know where I live, it just isn't "feeling" like home yet.  It did for a few days in September when life was not total chaos.  But, I've been spending at every day (except one, maybe two) at our old house trying to get it ready to list.  My friends would tell you there was nothing that really needed to be done and we should've just listed it, but my perfectionist tendencies were not going to let that happen!  As we've been emptying the attic, basement, and garage of the old house it has been dumped again into our living room, and I do not enjoy that...not one bit.  I feel as though we are, yet again, living in total clutter and I don't like it one bit.

The fact that I am spending so much time at our old house isn't helping the new house (or town) feel like home either.  I want to be comfortable (and comforted) by being here in our new house, but it just isn't there yet.  I know that we are going to get there, but I while I was dead on on how hard some things emotionally would be, I completely underestimated other things.

The good news is that we are signing the paperwork this evening to list our house.  By Friday morning, the realtor should be able to show it and I'll be able to stop running back and forth.  In fact, I get to spend the day here in the new place, although we'll be back this evening, and probably two trips tomorrow.  At the same time, cross country has also ended so our weekends are much less scheduled, and hopefully I'll be able to focus on making this house our "home"!

I meant to write...

...but there just were not enough hours in the day.  Or, I guess I should say days at this point.

Last week was spent in a continuous effort to get our old house emptied so a final clean can be done.  Our realtor doesn't want to list it until it is completely empty.  I made a trip over on Tuesday, two trips on Wednesday, and another on Thursday.  After work on Thursday, my husband and I made another trip over because I had reached the point where not only could I not carry everything, I needed him to make some decisions on things.  Besides, loading and unloading four van loads of things had taken a toll and I was physically hurting.  While we were there and the kids were here, we decided to partake of our favorite Mexican restaurant.  It has a steak meal that I love and can't find replicated here.  It was as close to a date night as we are going to get anytime soon.

Friday we planned to hit the road early for Columbus, but we awoke to no hot water, a cabinet broke, and we learned our credit card (primary card we use) had been canceled.  GRRRR.  We finally deal with what we can deal with and hit the road...so that our GPS could stop working.  We laughed a little at all of it, and even my laid-back husband pointed out that all of these little things were starting to add up to one big irritation!  We really had a good time though.  The trip was our gift to Catherine so that she could visit the American Girl doll store.  I was so proud of her.  She knew exactly how much money she had to spend, and before she even came to close to it she announce, "That's plenty.  I'm done."  She had researched from catalogs before we went and we were in and out in 20 minutes.  That is my kind of shopping!  Our evening was spent at the 40th birthday party of a good friend.  It was near our old home, so we stopped on the way for another load, and everyone tumbled into bed later than I would've liked.

Saturday Robert had his final cross country race of the season.  It was a gorgeous day, although somewhat warmer than I had expected.  Robert started our very strong, and we could see about 1/3 into the race that he was one of the top six.  The race then goes out of sight, and I positioned myself at the finish line.  Runner after runner after runner finished, and there was no sign of Robert.  He was one of the very last ones to finish, and then he collapsed at the finish in a pile.  Apparently he was dizzy and having trouble breathing.  His coach said the dizziness was probably from not drinking enough.  We keep telling him to hydrate, but he's a teenager and thinks he knows everything!  The coach said the breathing could be from a "bug" or allergies that Robert didn't even know he had, but as a competitive runner it makes itself known.  That does appear to be the case, as by last evening he wasn't feeling so swell.  We spent Saturday evening at the birthday party of a four-year-old (we mentioned that ironically, he had as many candles as the forty-year-old the night before) and since that party was also near our old home, we again stopped for another load before coming home.

Yesterday Andrew and I spent the entire day at our old home.  I washed the woodwork and mopped the floors of the entire second level and the stairs.  We are hoping that by tomorrow at the latest, everything will be out of there and I won't have to keep making trips over.  Andrew wiped down the entire kitchen, and the attic and basement are empty.  We just have a few more things to get out of the laundry room and garage, and I'll need to sweep those as well as clean the living room.  We are almost there!  I will feel such a tremendous relief when that house is ready to sell!