Sunday morning thoughts

Andrew is at his parents' house.  One of his best friends lost his father, and the visitation is today.  Andrew will be home tonight, although very late.  Catherine has left for work, and Thomas is still sleeping.  The quiet allows many thoughts to go through my head.

Six years ago today, also on a Sunday, was the very last conversation I ever had with my dad.  He was calling from the hospital where he had been since the evening before.  I was in a big building, and the reception wasn't great.  That building was destroyed by the tornadoes that came through last spring.  I am somewhat dreading this week, because the dates all line up to the same days of the week when Dad died.  The problem with being a person who remembers so much is that not only do I remember those feelings, but it's almost like I actually feel them again.

I'm also going to be brutally honest here.  I am dreading Veteran's Day tomorrow.  My son is a sailor, but it is hard to feel as though we are a military family.  We know almost nothing about what Robert is doing these days, and it isn't because he can't tell us, but because he chooses not to communicate with us.  Sadly, in some ways, it is better this way.  His drama doesn't involve us, and this way we don't have to deal with it.  At the same time, we love him, and I especially feel for Catherine and Thomas who miss their brother.

I have much to accomplish today, and I am grateful for this quiet time this morning before we start another crazy week!

Independence Day '19

This is our first Independence Day as a military family.  As with all of the patriotic holidays, there is a new perspective.  My son is serving in our military to protect our country.  That is never lost on me, and it is amplified on these days.  I am so grateful for all of those who serve and have served.  It is also never lost on me that although his assignment is relatively safe, anything can happen.  Just a little over two months ago, high school classmates of my sister lost their son in an accident while he was serving.  Although it had absolutely nothing to do with the military, it had been months since they had seen him because of his assignment.  I know it could happen to us.  Nothing in life is guaranteed, and the tragedy of Bryston enforces that.

Having said all of that, I do still think today should be a celebration.  We ARE free, and for the most part we live in a wonderful country.  We should celebrate our freedoms, and we should celebrate life.

Regular life

We are in the middle of just regular days.  Busy days, but generally nothing out of the ordinary.  Catherine is home sick today, and Andrew is with her, but that is about it.  Hopefully he gets her to the doctor sooner rather than later.  She woke up with a fever of 101.5 this morning, and I would really like to be home with her, but I don't get paid if I'm not here.  Hopefully her fever isn't so high tomorrow, and if she needs to be home hopefully she can hang in there by herself.

My motivation to have a clean house plummeted yesterday.  I hate the fact that my house is not picked up as much as I would like.  Since Catherine didn't feel well, I had to do the transporting for Thomas.  Andrew was working at the boys' basketball game.  I had awakened with a migraine yesterday, but fortunately was scheduled at the elementary so I could lay in bed for awhile which helped it go away (along with meds).  I only worked half a day, but then spend another couple of hours at my church job.  I then worked on my taxes last evening, which honestly was depressing.  We don't owe anything this year, but the new tax laws were not in our favor.

Andrew and I also discussed that there was a little bit of sadness regarding Robert as well.  He officially graduated from his training yesterday, and is being stationed in the Pacific for three year.  I texted yesterday to confirm it was his graduation, congratulate him, and ask when he was departing.  He literally was leaving in only a couple of hours.  The fact that he is leaving the country for years and didn't think to contact us was hurtful.  We understand he is 19 and this may not be personal, but it hurts none-the-less.

On the upside, our house functions very well as a little family of four.  I am so, so grateful for this life that I have and for the family with whom I share it.  The days are flying by so incredibly quickly, and I'm wanting to cherish the times!

Army Navy

Today is the Army and Navy football game.  We've always been a fan of this game in our house, and last year we rooted for Navy given Robert's plans.  However, we are now officially a Navy family, and this is our first football game as such.  Andrew and I are both dressed in our "Navy Mom" and "Navy Dad" sweatshirts.  We are in different rooms because I am cleaning and he is grading, but we both found ourselves being more emotional than normal as the introduction to the game was taking place.  While Robert isn't at the academies, he is serving our country, and we are very proud.

I also get a little emotional because this game means the end of college football Saturdays.  They are the best Saturdays of the entire year.  College basketball just isn't the same until March.  So for today, I am going to enjoy what I hope will be a Navy win!

I cried again this year

I was able to attend the Veteran's Day program at our school again today.  In fact I am subbing for the teacher who is in charge of putting on the event.  It is, without a doubt, my favorite assembly that we have each year.  I am always blown away by the respect shown by the students.  My tears pretty much began first thing.  Our neighbor is part of the sheriff's office color guard that presents our country's flag.  Immediately the students were silent, and my eyes filled with tears.  I then cried throughout the entire Star Spangled Banner.  I couldn't help but think of my son, and honestly, how much I wished he was here.  For everything he has put us through, he has made a mature decision, and is making a sacrifice to serve our country.  Andrew had come over to stand with me, and I'm grateful that he did.  It was just nice having him there.  I became somewhat emotional as the veterans were introduced also, especially as last year's speaker, and our friend, Kyle was introduced.  I don't know where we would be without his advice in the last year!  I'm so grateful to all the veteran's for helping to serve and protect this great country in which we live!

Veteran's Day

Today is Veteran's Day, and is the 100th anniversary of the ending of WWI.  This year is definitely a new perspective.  While Andrew's father was a Marine, my family has very little military experience except for my grandfather in WWII, and a great-uncle in the Korean War.  Now though, my son is serving.  I'll be honest, the day has made me emotional.  Our pastor, who is very emotional, became choked up while speaking about Robert from the altar, and I can't ever let anyone cry alone!  The songs have made me tear up, and it's just a completely different perspective for me.  I feel like I really get it for the first time, and I also know that I don't completely get it.  I have not yet had to deal with Robert facing imminent danger, but that will most likely be in our future.  I am so very proud of Robert, and I'm grateful to the military for another reason.  I am grateful to our military for making men out of the boys who join.  I know many are like Robert, and I can't imagine where he would be without the discipline and structure of the military.  I'm so grateful for it all!

It is such a relief!

Yesterday at the end of the school day, I received word from Robert...and it was very good news!  All of his paperwork has come through, and he is able to continue his training!  We are more relieved than I can put into words, and he is so excited that he gets to continue moving forward.  He will be in Texas for the next several weeks, then we aren't exactly sure what comes next.  Please know I will continue to be rather vague when it comes to Robert and his experiences, but I wanted to share this very good news!

My son is a sailor

This weekend we were able to travel to graduation for Robert from Naval basic training.  We are very proud!  We got up there Thursday afternoon, but we just had dinner and hung out at the motel.  Friday morning we were up super early, and were seated 40 minutes before the ceremony began.  His division marched in second from the last and I couldn't see anything.  Being short is sometimes a pain!  It was about 15 minutes later before I could pick out the one that I thought was him.  The ceremony was over 90 minutes long, but finally, we were all set free!  When we got to him, he had tears in his eyes.  It was very touching that he was so happy to see us!  He had to report back, and unfortunately, by the time he was able to see us again, we only got to spend another 2-1/2 hours together.  We had to come home that night because of the schedule for Catherine & Thomas.  There were many times when Andrew and I would look at each other and just smile because we noticed a change in Robert.  Don't get me wrong, he is still a nineteen-year-old, but he had grown up so much in the ten weeks since we've seen him.  Some things are up in the air regarding him right now, but I appreciate the fact that he now has a phone and we are able to call and text.  My son is a sailor in the United States Navy!

We could use some prayers

We just received another phone call from Robert.  I knew right away it couldn't be good news.  He was calling to tell us that he failed a written test (twice) and was being "held back".  It will delay his graduation from basic training by at least two weeks.  He was so upset and I could tell that he is so stressed.  I explained he wasn't the first and he won't be the last.  That is why they have this protocol in place.  He said he had been up all night studying, and I have to wonder if that is part of the problem.  It is hard to know that he is this stressed, and that there is nothing I can do to help.  I am so afraid he's just going to give up and decide he can't do this.

He also said that he didn't have any additional information on his health issues.  I know the stress is making the health worse, and the health issues cause more stress.  Because of the health, he could be delayed even more.  This is hard on this mom's heart.

Specifically, please pray that Robert's health stabilizes and everything is okay physically.  Secondly, please pray that Robert can pass this test and get through what he needs to get through.  And lastly, we would appreciate prayers for him to be strong emotionally and mentally and be able to keep at it.  He has come so far and I would hate for him to lose it all now.

We got to talk to Robert

Saturday evening the four of us were sitting around watching the Reds game when the phone rang.  Robert had told us when he got to basics that he was allowed to call in three weeks.  We had no idea when...so thank goodness we were home!  He sounded really good, and it was wonderful to hear his voice.  He is truly enjoying the challenge, and we are very proud of him.

On the downside, he is having some medical issues.  If anyone has some spare prayers, we would appreciate them being sent up on his behalf.  Please pray that it is all due to stress, which is something that should heal with time, and not something more serious.  That would cause him to be medically discharged, not to mention having to deal with something serious with his health.  As a friend of mine said yesterday, "This is the first time I'll pray for an ulcer."

Wow! What a week!

This past week was sooooooo long.  I'll be honest, as we were just an hour away from the band overnighter ending yesterday morning, I felt this huge sense of accomplishment, although the overnighter deserves (no, actually needs) its own post.  As does the swim championships from this week, which involved much more time than originally expected.  I promise these posts will be forthcoming!

Band camp was every bit as crazy as we expected it to be, but I sure do enjoy those kids.  We have a tremendous group this year, and I especially enjoy the freshmen group.  The down side of the week is that when I wasn't at band camp or at the pool, I was still home doing band paperwork.  It was pretty much all-consuming.  But we made it!

We also received Robert's personal items earlier in the week.  Everything on him had to be returned, with the exception of his wallet.  Yesterday we finally received the paperwork with his address.  I sent him a quick note because it was already getting late in the day and I wanted it to go out in yesterday's mail.  I promised I would write more soon.

School begins in 18 days.  This has definitely been the fastest summer yet.  I look back on how quickly the high school years went with Robert (although with some of his decisions it felt like they lasted forever) and I know in a blink of an eye Thomas will be finished as well.  Catherine is already half way done with her high school career.  Wow, just wow.  It's so true that the days may be long but the years are so very short!

My son is in the Navy

Robert was officially sworn in this morning.  In spite of the fact that we were told sweating in would begin at 11:30, and Andrew had left early enough that he would arrive by 9:30, he missed it.  We have learned though, that this is military life and there is nothing we can do about it.  I'm just grateful that Andrew was able to see him and say goodbye one last time.

Please know that my writings about Robert will be very limited in terms of his military experiences.  It is a safety thing, and I'm not allowed to write about most things...he can't even tell us about most things!  However, I plan to be even more limited, and things will be mostly limited to when we are actually with him.

I am very proud of my son for this choice he has made, and I'm excited for him to begin this new adventure.  As Andrew said, the four of us is now our "new normal", and with time we will find our routine.

The calm before the storm

Today and yesterday kind of feel like the calm before the storm.  We had a meeting yesterday and my mom and sister came down today to say goodbye to Robert.  Other than that, we had no plans at all.  I am so grateful for these two days.

Tomorrow it begins with us taking the day to take Robert to Columbus.  We will check him in to the hotel, take him out to dinner, and then make the 2+ hour drive back home.  Andrew will get up Monday and head back over, while I take the younger two to swim.  Band camp begins that afternoon, and I'll be at the school for about seven hours or so.  Andrew will come up and help after he gets back from Robert's swearing in.  Tuesday morning will be swim practice again, and another full day of band camp.  That evening Andrew will need to be at the community pool to set up for the swim championships.  Wednesday morning we will have to be at the pool, I am guessing by 6:30.  We will spend all morning there, and Andrew will be helping out with timing.  He will take the kids to band camp, and I will do my afternoon shift at swim championships before we both head to band camp to help with dinner.  Thursday the kids will have their full day of band camp, and we won't have to go until dinner.  That night, Andrew and I are in charge of the overnighter for the students.  Friday will be a day of REST!!!

It's going to be crazy, but I am grateful to be the parents of these kids...even the one flying the nest!

The good-byes are getting to me

Today was the annual pool party at my aunt's house.  I enjoyed hanging out with the family, although that side is full of way too much drama.  Regardless, it is fun to get together.  My mom and grandmother came down, and for my grandmother, it was her last chance to see Robert.  Just like my mother-in-law (which I managed to avoid), my grandmother cried when said good-bye.  That really gets to me.  Everyone made a point to say goodbye to him, and my aunt became emotional as well.  Next week my mom & sister are coming down again to see him.  I can do all right until someone else gets emotional..and they are.

We've learned that we are actually supposed to take him to Columbus next weekend, and we have the opportunity to see him sworn in that Monday morning.  Unfortunately, I can't make that happen on a week's notice because that is band camp.  We've decided we will all take him over and get him checked in, and that will be the time for goodbye for Catherine, Thomas, and myself.  Andrew will drive back over early Monday morning.  I have a feeling this next week is going to be pretty draining.

Some tears in church

I hadn't meant to go so long between writing posts.  There has just been a lot going on, and I've been emotional about a lot of things.  I don't want to sound as though I'm complaining or to be a downer, so I just haven't written...and I've been busy.

Honestly, although I've been emotional, I fight against being so.  I don't want to sit around being weepy about the thought of my son leaving, because it really is a good thing.  Sometimes I've thought that I am not emotional enough because there has never once been the thought that I wish he wouldn't leave.  Joining the Navy is exactly what he needs to do for so many reasons.

This is the last Sunday Robert will be in church, and we asked our Pastor if he would include him in the weekly prayers.  Knowing Pastor as we do, we knew that he would want to do so, and I suspected he would even bring him to the altar for a bit of recognition.  I wasn't prepared however, for Pastor to begin crying and then ask us all to join him.  I was weeping as Pastor prayed over us all, and was pretty weepy through the rest of the service.  To be honest, it is the first time I have openly cried about Robert leaving, and I just wasn't prepared.

I'm so grateful for our church family.  I found a great deal of comfort in knowing that they are all praying not only for Robert's safety, but for our peace and comfort as well!

It was different

Last Friday we received word that Robert's departure date has changed.  He is now scheduled to leave a week earlier than we were originally told.  This is not terribly surprising given how things have worked up to now, and Robert is definitely ready to go. 

This past weekend, we went to visit Andrew's parents for Father's Day.  I'll be honest, it made me emotional at times, and I know Andrew's mother realized the reality as well...she even said so.  Although Andrew and Robert are going back to his parents next week while the younger two are on a church trip, this was the last visit with all of us.  This was the last time Andrew's parents will be with all three grandchildren at the same time for quite awhile.  My mother-in-law even mentioned it might be the last time ever.  While I hope that is certainly not the case, I also acknowledge that my father-in-law is declining, although not rapidly.  We don't know when Robert will be able to have leave for a visit, and then getting Robert to PA could be challenging to see them (although we will certainly do our best).  I am grateful that I will not be along with them next week when he leaves, because I know Andrew's mother will be very emotional.  My own mother is becoming emotional as well and that is unlike her.

I know these changes are coming on the horizon, and while I think they are good changes, I know it is an adjustment!

It all began a year ago today

A year ago today was the first day after the end of Robert's junior year...so technically it was the first day he was a senior.  I vividly remember the day.  I took Robert to the Navy recruiter and it was the beginning of the process.  Here we are, a year later.  Wow, did that go really, really fast.  I'm grateful, because we needed to get to this point.  However, I don't want time to keep moving at this warp speed.

One of the things I remember the recruiter asking me, and many others have along the way, was how I felt about this whole thing.  I've always completely supported Robert in this decision.  It isn't about me at all.  I love my son, and this is his dream.  And it has been his dream since middle school.  Honestly, I can't imagine another path that would be better for him.  Of all the incredibly dumb choices he has made, this is the best decision ever.  I am so proud of him!