The last weekend in October was full

It was a busy weekend, but I wouldn't trade it!  The weather was absolutely ideal.  It was the perfect temp, there was sunshine, and I was able to drive among the gorgeous scenery.  It even started an hour earlier than normal because we had conferences on Friday which meant no students, and I usually take advantage of some extra time off.

Yesterday I made my (pretty much weekly) trip north to work at my mom's house.  My sister and I have been working on things since August.  The goal is for Mom to be able to host a Christmas meal.  I'm beginning to wonder if this is possible, but I think if Catherine spends some days up there before Thanksgiving we can pull this off.  While it is a major time commitment, I'm appreciative of the beautiful leaves changing and how peaceful the drive is.

We then had dinner with our good friends.  It had literally been months since we had seem them.  We had a drink at a winery and then Mexican for dinner.    We were home by 9:30, which used to never happen.  It was the best we could do though!

Today was church and then all the kids were here for dinner.  I got the house cleaned up and it's so nice to be able to start the week feeling "ahead".  It's not a crazy week, and it sure is nice to be able to say that.  Last week was emotionally excruciating and completely exhausting.  I know it was the best thing both for our family and for that sweet dog.  And I am thankful that I no longer have to worry about being bit or what the snarling and growling might lead to.  And I can know that in long run, he is a good dog and I'm sure he'll find a right home where he is the only pet.  But none of that changes the fact that I absolute hate that it was for the best and it makes me sad.  So I'm looking forward to a quieter week, and with November just a few days away, I can get excited about the holidays.  Dinner with the kids was a lovely preview to that as well!

This last day of January sure held a lot of emotion

Today is the last day of January, and it always the day we celebrate becoming a family.  I will forever be grateful to have been a mother to my three kiddos.  For the first time, I'm not sure we will actually have an opportunity to celebrate it as a family, but that is probably okay.  My kids are adults, and looking to the future and starting their own families.  I miss having little ones, but I'm so grateful for the adults they are becoming.

I also learned this morning that a school mate had passed away after taking his own life.  Ryan and I met in second grade, and we were Mutt and Jeff according to many.  I'm just under 5', and he is over 6'.  We could fight like cats and dogs, but we were friends.  I hadn't seen him in over 20 years, but saw him again last February when we attended the funeral for another classmate.  His daughter went to college here in town, and I kept meaning to reach out to his parents (who I've seen many times over the years, sadly, mostly at the funeral home) to get his number so we could visit sometime when his family was in town.  I never did though, and now I can't.  I'm angry at him for taking this route, and I'm angry at myself that I didn't make more of an effort.  And I'm so heartbroken for the family and loved ones he left behind.

I'm very grateful today is Friday.  Sleep isn't coming easily tonight, and I'm glad I can sleep in tomorrow.

Putting away Christmas

I have started to put away the Christmas decorations.  It is breaking my heart a little bit this year.  It always fees a bit sad anyway, but this year I've actually had to fight some tears.  Andrew is working today so it's just me, and I'm grateful for the quiet opportunity.

The first thing I did was take down Thomas's ornaments so they would be separated.  Thomas took a few of them with him, but the majority were still on our tree this year.  This is the very last year that my baby's ornaments, and all of those memories, are going to hang on my tree.  The last year of his "new driver", or football, or tennis ornament.  The last year of the special ornaments from family and friends over the years.  This is what we want in life, of course, for our children to grown up and be independent.  But I can't deny I'll miss unwrapping and hanging those memories each year.

I've also been a bit emotional as I've put away the pictures we have out each year.  I miss the little people in those photos so much.  Again, I'm grateful they have grown into who they are, but I miss those little people.  And as hard as the last year was, I miss the simple little problems they had back in those days.

We also have a lot of Christmas things that are beagle related, and we miss our sweet Abby so much.  There were tears on Christmas morning as we still had Abby related memories as gifts, and it's hard to think about her without crying, even now.

I was sick for a week right after Christmas, and between that and they kids having their own lives, it all just felt different and not very "Christmas-y".  There were no lights that we went to see, no fun TV episodes or movies, no family games.  While I have strived so hard to accept this is the way things are now, it still felt, well, less than.  I'm working on that, and I'm hoping it had as much to do with being sick as anything else.

Tomorrow is the last official day of break, but there is a massive winter storm heading our way.  Neither Andrew nor I are supposed to have students on Monday anyway, but our boss has let us know we'll probably do a Zoom meeting and then work from home.  I don't have that much I can do at this point, but I'm sure I can find some things.  While Catherine won't have to work, Thomas still will, so snow days are tougher than they used to be for my heart.

To be honest, I'm looking forward to having a less cluttered home, and I'm hoping that will lead to a less cluttered mind.  And I'm working on remembering my blessings and being grateful for each day.

September took forever...and also flew by

September has been a crazy, crazy month.  It's been a hard month on the work front.  I have spent a crazy amount of time on scheduling and trying to fill all the holes with a very small amount of subs, and last Wednesday we were three teachers short...on a day we also did school photos.  Insanity.  It's been exhausting.

Andrew has worked every Saturday at an athletic event, except for last Saturday when we had a family wedding.  His weeknights haven't been quite as bad as past years, but after a not-too-bad week this coming week, he will work every night next week.  That will lead up to about five weeks off though, so we can handle it.  And this season tends to be the worst season, so that's good news.

Catherine has a new job working in the public school district here.  She works about 28 hours a week, which is a good start, but she needs something else to supplement due to some other choices.  She is with us Sunday evening through Friday afternoon, and then goes to her apartment the rest of the week.  It's kind of like "reverse-college" living.  We call it adulting with guardrails.

Thomas has been in his new apartment for five weeks.  We are so grateful he has a place to live that is so close to his job.

After three weeks ago when the weather was absolutely gorgeous, it got hot again.  Really, really hot, like upper 80's and even some 90's.  The family wedding last weekend was an outdoor ceremony and a non air-conditioned reception venue.  Hurricane Helene struck Florida and came up to Ohio this weekend.  Western North Carolina was certainly not expecting a storm of that strength, and even here in Ohio, we had substantial wind damage on Friday afternoon.  We are on our third consecutive day of rain, but it was much needed as we were in a drought, and it was extreme.  Hopefully this is the end of the summer weather as we are headed into October this week.  I've enjoyed decorating for the fall, and I'm pleased that I've been able to have some candles lit.  I love, absolutely love the smells of fall, and I love that we'll have two months of fall decorations to enjoy.  I'm so grateful for the peaceful feelings that this season bring, because there have certainly been days when life has felt anything but peaceful lately!

A few days off in the middle of June

It's the middle of June.  I'll be honest, time has not been flying by, and I'm 100% okay with that.  Part of the "not flying" though, has been our adult children, and that's hard.  My kids are good kids, but oh my goodness, some of the choices they make are astounding.  They were taught better, and sometimes it's hard to watch.  But, as they are adults, watching is all I can really do.

I've taken several days off this week, and I'm so very glad that I did.  I needed this down time, and I'm not feeling great so it's even more appreciated.  I'm very grateful for the life I have.

The middle of May 2024

I have only four days remaining in this school year.  Even though I have to work all summer, it's just so much more relaxing, my days are shorter, and I often don't work Fridays.  I'm so grateful I like my job overall.  I've really needed it the last few months.

It hasn't been a great past few months.  My grandmother is 93, and to be honest, she doesn't love her life.  It's awful to see her in this state.  She just lies in bed most of her days, and she doesn't even turn on the TV.  She really declined the week of my dad's birthday, and I think the fact that it was his 70th birthday was a factor in that.  The hard part is that there isn't really anything physically wrong with her, so it's just hard right now.  My sister has decided that someone needs to check in with her each day, so I'm trying to make at least 2, and sometimes 3 trips to my hometown.  I'll have much more flexibility to do that when the summer comes.

Things have also been pretty tough with the kids.  To be honest, while Thomas loves his job, the hours were really, really hard on him, and he was absolutely awful to be around.  He was downright mean to me often times.  Fortunately, some things have changed with his schedule and it works better for him.  And I don't have words about Catherine.  I love her, and I have to believe that she'll be okay, but her choices are less than wise.  I'm grateful she finally has a job again, and I can only hope this puts her on the path she needs to be on.

I truly had no idea that parenting young adults could be so much more difficult than parenting teenagers.  As Andrew said, there is that sick feeling in our stomachs that we get when we see a poor choice turning into a disaster, but we are powerless to stop it.

It's been a crazy spring in terms of weather as well.  Last Tuesday we huddled with the pets (who were willing to join us) in our hallway as we were in the path of a tornado.  Ohio is leading the country in tornadoes this year, and I sure could do without that.

Looking forward to brighter times.  First, we have to get through my least favorite day of the year tomorrow with the end-of-year ceremony, but we will get through it!

Leap Day 2024

I have to admit, I've never been a fan of an extra day in February.  I don't really love the month of February, and I see no need to add an extra day.  I totally get that it is necessary from a science standpoint, but it's just not what I love.

We had a lovely family evening though.  Honestly, there has been lots of craziness in our lives...more than I can really describe.  But our evenings are bringing such joy.  Catherine stays here Sunday-Friday.  I can't even explain how much we are enjoying it.  It's helping Catherine to manage things much better with her health and responsibilities.  

We are in a phase where I have no idea what comes next...pretty much every day.  And for that very reason, I'm so grateful for the lovely evenings we have right now!

Happenings in our house

I changed the background to reflect our weather here...snow!  It's our first REAL snowstorm of the year.  It started last yesterday afternoon and was an absolutely beautiful evening as we got to watch the snow come down.  We received just over 4".  The sun is out today, and without a cloud in the sky, it melted the snow off our sidewalk and driveway.  And we had no place to drive, so it was all absolutely wonderful.  It was so peaceful.

Yesterday was also the first day off of our four-day weekend.  It is so very, very needed.  I'll be honest, part of the reason I've avoided writing is that life has been a little crazy lady.  As I told my mom when she asked how things have been, it's been very up and down around here.  We've both had craziness at our jobs.  Not necessarily bad things, but definitely some added stress in various aspects.  Additionally, my mom has two surgeries in the next 60 days.  I don't mind helping my mother and I want to be there for her, but medial issues are definitely not my strong suit.  And the death of my high-school classmate has weighed on me more than I can describe.

Most of the up & down though, has been the kids.  As they are both adults, I'm hesitant to write too much, especially as health issues are involved.  It's not my story.  I don't want to be overly dramatic, so I will say that overall, everyone is okay and nothing is imminently life threatening.  Follow ups are required, but more than anything else, my kids just need to learn to make better choices as they go through life.  To be honest, sometimes their choices are not only immature, but at times they are downright astonishing.  I'm ready for some "young-adult-drama-free" days in our future.  I'm sure we will get there.

I'm hoping as the days get a little longer, we will all find a few more reasons to smile.  In the meantime, I'm enjoying the coziness of the snow!

I'm not at all sure how it is only Wednesday

I have no idea how there are still two more days this week.  I feel that we've had more than enough activity for it to be the weekend, and definitely tomorrow should be Friday.  Last evening I went to bed at 9:00 and slept like a baby.  It was delightful.  It's also perfect sleeping weather.  It is the exact opposite of last week.  Last week was beyond miserable hot, but right now I have a candle lit, and I could probably even put on a sweat shirt if I really wanted to.  It's delightful.  It isn't going to last, but I will take today and tomorrow and revel in it while I can.  And I need it.

Over the weekend, the kids' car that Thomas has been driving began having "issues".  We couldn't get the brake lights to turn off, which happened on Friday.  We couldn't really deal with it then because when Andrew got back from the hospital with Catherine, he needed to head to the football game.  That meant the battery was drained.  We finally got around to dealing with it Sunday.  Through some research, we thought Thomas had fixed it.  Both Catherine and Thomas had appointments at the same time on Monday, and Catherine's vehicle was still at her apartment.  I took the old car and dropped Andrew at school.  When I went to pick him up after school, I realized something wasn't quite right.  Sure enough by the time I got to school, the car was barely moving.  We came to the realization that fixing the brake lights impacted the pedals, so we ended up driving straight to the mechanic.  That was Monday, and we are still waiting to hear what's happening with it.

Catherine's medical tests have all come back normal, which is great, but she is still feeling pretty lousy, which isn't great,  In fact, today she called me and told me she was feeling pretty awful again.  I'm out of answers and suggestions.  I have no idea what is happening with her.  I would love for her to stay here where I could keep an eye on her, but I understand she isn't interested in that.  In the meantime, Thomas has been trying to contact his former university because we had been billed for a semester of tuition, room and board.  He had enrolled in classes in the spring before it was decided he wasn't going back.  He tried calling various departments, and kept getting the run around.  He was so upset today that I received a phone call at work from his girlfriend who was worried about his mental state.  While I'm on the phone, my mother called to ask what I was doing this afternoon because she was on her way to the emergency room.  Her eye doctor was concerned about her blood pressure. 

I'll be honest, that was a lot to deal with this afternoon.  I've realized it's no wonder I was so exhausted.  There is a lot going on.  I know things are working out, and overall things are going to be okay.  And our current weather helps us to be so peaceful.  I am extremely grateful this weekend has an extra day!

A lot happening at the end of August

There's been a bunch of emotions around here this week, and the weather hasn't helped at all.  Thursday's weather was supposed to be the hottest around here in 20 years, but some rain came through that morning and kept it cooler than expected.  Friday though, the heat index was over 100 most of the day.  Yuck.  Not my kind of weather, at all.  With Labor Day approaching and school into the third week, I'd love to decorate for Fall, but I know better than that!

Thomas's girlfriend left for college this week.  She is attending the same school he was at last year.  I think her being there, and him helping her move in, really made it hit home that he isn't there this year.  While I think it would 100% be a mistake for him to have gone back, I know that doesn't mean it is always easy to have to make a change.

I'm not going to lie, it is tough to realize both of my kids are entering a new phase in life.  The hard part is that I know they need to make their own choices and they need to do what makes them happy.  At the same time, I know how hard things can be in life, especially when we don't make the best choices, and I don't want life to be harder for them than it has to be.  Lots and lots of prayers being sent up.

And also on the prayer front, Catherine is struggling with some health issues.  We aren't entirely certain what is happening, but I have a pretty good idea.  She has some appointments coming up where we hope she can get some answers.  It's not my story, but I will share that generally, I don't think it is life threatening, but can be life altering.

I had also forgotten how crazy Andrew's schedule can be in the fall.  In addition to his full time job, he volunteers as a stat for Friday night football games, and he works 2-3 additional athletic events during the week as well.  I'm not working athletic events this year because it was just too much for us last year.

I wrote years ago about the neighborhood cats who we had begun feeding in our yard.  They never allowed us to get too close to them, but they've been here every day for the last eight years.  One had passed in January, 2019, and then another disappeared that spring, which left two.  For the last year, those two had been sticking close to the house, and especially this spring.  We knew the male wasn't doing well.  He'd either been in a fight or had a stroke.  In May, we realized he was gone as well.  The last one made her home on our patio.  She still wouldn't let us too close, but we did our best to pamper her as she would let us.  Last weekend when we had people over, a friend commented that she looked a little strange as we watched her walk into the woods.  We haven't seen her since.  While I certainly had no strong emotional attachment, it does make me sad that they are all gone.  At the same time, I'm also grateful that the last one didn't live alone for too terribly long.  I will miss having them around in our back yard.  I'm also a little afraid that mice are going to start appearing a little more frequently.  Yuck.

When I think about these things in comparison to so many world events such as Maui or the war in Ukraine, this is absolutely nothing to complain about.  At the same time, I am one of those people that absorbs all of those events, and it really cranks up my anxiety.  I'm hoping us getting settled into a fall routine will help!  And today's weather is a good start to feeling less angst about everything in life.  Our life is full of many blessings, and I know it's okay to be emotional about things, especially at transitional periods of life.  I'm also grateful for my active prayer life!

The school year begins tomorrow, and it's different

There are so many changes to the school year this year.  Most of them are specific to our public schools, and especially to Andrew.  Because our school levy failed last fall, there is no longer any high school busing.  That is going to make the arrival and departure quite a mess.  On the upside, because they are no longer reliant on a two-tiered busing schedule, the school is able to start later.  It won't really impact Andrew though, because he has no intention of being a part of the arrival mess!

It's also a little different in our family as well.  A year ago tomorrow, we were taking Thomas to college.  This year, that isn't the plan.  We weren't overly surprised to learn that it wasn't for him.  It looks as though he is going to take training to receive a CDL and be a professional driver.  I won't lie, my kids and driving is a huge anxiety trigger for me, and I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to increase my medication.  At the same time, I can't at all say I'm not proud of him.  I'm thrilled that he has realized what would be best for him, and I'm pleased that he is making wise choices.  It's a little strange having him around again, but I suspect that won't last long, depending on what job opportunities await after the training.

There is also Catherine, who is doing things differently.  I won't lie, the last year has been a real struggle for her, and she is having trouble finding her "thing."  She really loves being a CNA (STNA), but her size is proving to be detrimental.  Not that she can't do it, but there are definitely some who decide she can't even before she tries.  Things might take her a bit longer, but she does get them done.  There are also family members of some of the patients who didn't want Catherine being the care-giver, which we think is because she looks like she is only about 15.  It's not fair, but we are pretty sure this is the reality.  Catherine was originally going to take classes for being an LPN, but that didn't really appeal to her either.  She decided to take classes for a certification of medical assisting, which will allow her to read vitals, take blood, etc.  She started classes for that last evening, and she also has a job working two nights a week.

It's kind of strange that none of my kids have a traditional "first day", but that is the phase of our life.  My kids aren't kids anymore.  They are adults, and I'm proud of them.  I love them more than I can even put into words, and I'm so incredibly grateful to be their mother!

Here we go school year!

A fabulous end to this week off

This week has been wonderful.  I am so grateful I had this week and that it went as it did.  Monday was spectacular.  I never left the house.  Tuesday was similar, but I did go to Andrew's baseball scrimmage that evening.  We grabbed Mexican out afterward.  Wednesday I went to the office to get some things done and also worked at church for a bit.  Andrew's game for that evening was cancelled, and it was so nice to be able to hang out together for the evening.  Thursday, I had to take my grandmother to an appointment, and then I did some shopping in my hometown.  Friday I ran a few errands and also did some more shopping.  I picked Thomas up from work, and he was off almost two hours early.  It was awesome to be home so early that evening.  Andrew had no practice or anything, and he had dinner waiting for us (re-heating pork I had made the night before).  We enjoyed having Thomas around and watching basketball.

The weekend was the perfect ending to the break.  We made a trip east yesterday in order to visit friends.  It is always a wonderful evening spent with them.  Catherine had arrived home while we were gone, and it was lovely to be able to spend some time with both of our kids before we went to bed.  I also loved knowing that the kids had spent the evening together.  Today we gathered with my mother, sister, and dear family friend to celebrate the friend's 50th birthday.  We grew up together, and his parents are both gone.  He never married and his brother and family live in South Carolina.  It was important to me that he be celebrated.  We had such fun together.  Andrew took Thomas back to school, and Catherine is spending the night with us again.  This weekend has made my heart so very full.

Andrew told me this morning that he was sorry I had spent so much time alone during my break.  It was exactly what I needed though.  This week, Andrew has his break, and we've been invited to spend time visiting family at Norris Lake.  I am very much looking forward to this.  I told Andrew I feel a little badly for imposing on his break, but we know we will enjoy this.

My cup runneth over, and I'm very grateful!

Life at the end of January

It's hard to believe that a week from now will be the beginning of February, and yet January feels as though it has been a longggggg month.  There has been quite a bit going on, and a lot of it involves the kids, and most of it feels pretty dramatic.

Catherine specifically has had a significant amount to deal with in the last several months.  She is still living in a different apartment due to the flooding over the holidays and subsequent repairs needed.  Hopefully they will be able to move back into their original apartment over the next couple of weeks.  I do know that one of her roommates has decided to move out, so there will only be three of them living there.  Unfortunately, between Catherine's health last semester and distractions from her relationships, she struggled in one of her classes that is the pre-req for all the others.  It would put her another year behind, and she has decided to change her path to nursing.  She is planning to take STNA classes this spring, work until the fall, and then begin classes for either an LPN or an RN.  We feel this is a really, really good choice for her right now.  If she chooses to continue her education at some point and get a BSN, that is great, but there is nothing wrong with not doing that either.  

Catherine also made some poor financial choices last fall, and she is dealing with some pretty serious fallout from that as well.  The good news is that she is far from being the only young person to make some of these decisions, and I'm hopeful she is learning lessons, and if so, I'm grateful she is learning them while she is young and they are still more minor than major.  I firmly believe that, but it just change either the frustration of dealing with it, or the hurt of being a parent when your kid hurts.

And that brings us to Thomas.  He is back and school, and is struggling with life there as well.  His job has been tough, as he was never officially trained.  They were so desperate for lifeguards at the beginning of the year that they just hired him without training.  Then they wouldn't let him work because his paperwork wasn't done correctly.  When they finally got all the paperwork straightened out and got him paid (which took MONTHS), he kept getting in trouble because he wasn't doing things correctly at the job...because he had never been trained.  He takes his job seriously and was really upset that he kept doing it incorrectly.  Between that and a friend who just walked away from him, and his "illegal" cat, it's been hard on him.  The "final straw" for him was last week when they did room inspections and he was hiding in the bathroom with his cat.  I understand it isn't supposed to be there, but I also understand my kiddo is lonely and the cat provided company and companionship.  She truly is an absolute sweetheart.  Thomas decided last weekend that he would prefer to have her here where he didn't have to worry about her being "found".  I don't mind mostly, except that I wasn't looking to have another cat.  She doesn't really get along with the two who are here, and she is a CLIMBER.  We have to live with doors to bedrooms closed, and I can't have any of my picture frames sitting around.  To be honest, I somewhat resent that, and it makes my life feel cluttered and disorganized that things aren't in their "place".  And it breaks my heart that Thomas, yet again, feels so alone.

Today was a snow day that was called last night, which is always really nice.  At the same time, I didn't get done today nearly what I had hoped.  I've got a computer issue, that each time I try to fix, it leads to another issue.  That is exactly how life feels right now.  I'm hoping it's just January and the doldrums that tend to come with the month.  I'm also hoping that things work out for the kids, and of course a little bit of sunshine would be nice as well!

It's too quiet here, and I kind of want to cry.

Our "long" weekend was too short, as always, and as life has been around here lately, didn't go according to plan.  I picked Thomas up from school after he got off work Friday evening, which meant we were on our way home about 8:00.  Because we weren't really sure what he was going back to last weekend, his cat had stayed here for the week.  She is such an absolute sweetheart, but also quite a climber, and doesn't get along with our own Maudie.  We really didn't mind having her around, although I knew some picture frames would be in peril based on where the cat liked to climb.

Andrew had baseball practice Saturday morning.  My plan was to put away Christmas all day, then there would be frozen pizza for dinner while watching football.  After church yesterday, we had planned that Catherine would join us, and we'd enjoy potato soup for dinner and watch the Bengals game, then today we'd eat at one of our family's favorite restaurants when we took Thomas back to school.  Thomas had mentioned that his girlfriend was out of town so I was really looking forward to family time.

Or not.  Saturday did go pretty much as I expected, and it was lovely.  Yesterday though, Catherine didn't feel well and decided not to come over, but was going to try for today to join us for lunch.  I completely understood.  Thomas's girlfriend ended up being in town last evening, and he understandably wanted to see her.  Andrew and I enjoyed the Bengals game.

This morning, Andrew headed to a baseball clinic (which I kept forgetting about), and I was roused out of bed because he forgot he had scheduled the plumber to arrive to fix a pipe...and they had to access it through my closet.  Not the greatest way to begin my day!  As soon as I got up there was a text from Catherine that she still felt awful and wouldn't be here at all.  Thomas had thought a bunch of others were joining us for lunch, and we felt awful about the miscommunication.  We ended up just grabbing something quick, and realized that Thomas seems to still be battling an ear infection after two rounds of antibiotics.  That can sure ramp up my anxiety!  Because we weren't stopping to eat on the way, Thomas decided to go ahead and take his cat back with him.  I appreciate that I can put my house completely back together, but it sure got quiet around here.  It's hard knowing that he is struggling with making friendships at school, and it's hard knowing that he has struggled with his classes.  In fact, both kids are working on finding their way right now, and it makes me emotional.  Coming home, the house just felt empty, and I felt like I've done a lousy job parenting.  I love these kiddos so much, and when they hurt, my heart hurts with them.  Today's rainy weather didn't help at all, either.

Thomas has decided to come home again next weekend.  I'm grateful he enjoys being here.  It's going to be a crazy week, but maybe we can having some family time this weekend!

It's a lot

Andrew left a little over an hour ago to take Thomas back to school.  I'll be honest, I have such incredibly mixed emotions about this...about all of this.

I wrote earlier about the flooding in Catherine's apartment.  As things have developed, they have realized that the apartment basically needs to be rebuilt, and instead of hoping it might be ready when classes begin tomorrow, they have announced it will be months before it is ready.  Thomas spent Wednesday helping Catherine move all of her stuff into a different apartment, and we are so grateful that she gets to live with her roommate who has become a good friend.  She left to go back on Thursday.  I know she was ready, but it sure gets a whole lot quieter when she leaves.

Friday evening, we learned that Thomas had struggled mightily the first semester with his academics and was on probation.  We talked at length discussing various options for this coming semester, and he really wants to return.  Honestly, it was an incredibly mature discussion on the part of Thomas.  My ONLY concern about him returning is that it's a lot of money if he isn't committed to working hard and making it work.

I should mention that the first week of January is also pretty much the busiest at both of my jobs.  I worked Friday until 9:30 and worked for another couple of hours last evening after celebrating my grandmother.  Can we also take a moment to point out the emotions of celebrating her birthday?  It is WONDERFUL to get to celebrate her, but at 92 we can't help but be aware nothing in the future is guaranteed.

Catherine had met us at my grandmothers, so she drove straight back to her apartment.  When she got home, she realized that she had an email from the nursing school.  Catherine had struggled through the semester, but was able to work hard and got all her grades up to at least a "C" (and some even higher) except one class.  She passed the hands-on portion of the class, but not the classroom work.  Because that particular class is a pre-req for all the nursing classes this semester, she can't take any of them, and the class isn't offered again until the fall.  Listening to my sweet girl cry and process this was heart-breaking.  She's being incredibly proactive and reaching out with questions, inquiries, and communications, but of course it was Saturday and no one is really working.  Her classes begin tomorrow also and she isn't sure where to go from this or what to do next.  She has worked so hard, and I know that no matter what path comes next for her, she'll be fine.  Should she take the semester off?  Is there anything she can do to not lose an entire year?  It's all just so much, and as we talked to her last evening, I just couldn't help but cry myself, and I hated that she wasn't here so I could just hug her and hold her.

Later in the evening, the three of us were watching TV when Thomas announced that he had an email from his school letting him know that the heat wasn't working in his dorm, and they were planning to relocate the students.  At that point, I began to laugh hysterically.  I mean, seriously???  Are you kidding me???  Andrew and Thomas have just arrived back at the dorm and assure me that it is indeed cold and are woking on what comes next.

This is a lot of emotion folks.  And if you recall, we live in the Cincinnati area and any person who even has a marginal interest in professional football will know about the tragedy that took place this week.  The news of Damar Hamlin's recovery is miraculous, and honestly, I feel that God is using him for an amazing purpose.

I'm working on taking down my Christmas decorations today.  It seems appropriate, as doing so tends to spur emotions as well.  I appreciate the opportunity to have some time with the memories, as that is often how I feel when I put things away.  With being empty-nesters, those memories are even more poignant this year.

Praying for peace, and definitely praying for my children!  It's been a lot.

The beginning of December

The first ten days of this month have been absolutely crazy, and definitely exhausting.  Last weekend, Thomas came home because he had purchased tickets to a concert for Christmas for his girlfriend...held on his campus.  She doesn't drive, and I didn't love the thought of him driving them both that far and on the interstate, so I picked him up Friday, took them back up on Saturday, waited around for the concert, and then I was very grateful when Andrew agreed to take him back to school Sunday.  I actually enjoyed my Saturday checking out a few relatively empty stores.

Sunday at church was my morning to "introduce" myself to the congregation.  It's an initiative for our church council, and while I thought the church often hears far too much from me, I was out voted.  I also made an announcement about getting the gifts still remaining on our Giving Tree, and since many people decided to make a monetary donation, I got to spend lots of time shopping this week.  It was also a really crazy week at work as we had about 20% absent all week, and that included students that needed to be going home during the day.  It made for some very crazy days.

Wednesday we got a phone call from Catherine.  While everything is going to be okay in the long run, she needed some help to deal with some financial things and it involved me having to drive to her that evening after I had worked at the basketball game for three hours.  Getting home at nearly 10:00 that night was not only physically exhausting, but dealing with her choices was also mentally exhausting.  Again, she is fine, but things needed to be handled.

Thursday, Thomas finished his first semester of college!  He had originally thought he would be done Friday, then earlier in the week realized it would be Thursday, and it turned out it was actually Wednesday but we couldn't get him home until Thursday.  We had hoped to both get him, but there was an emergency Board of Education meeting due to our levy failure in November, and Andrew needed to attend that very unpleasant meeting (his second of the week).  That meant making the trip to get Thomas by myself.  And of course, him coming home means his cat comes home as well...and his fish too.  Oh my goodness, the chaos.

Andrew and I have realized that having four humans, four cats, a dog, and a fish is a lot of activity when our lives have become very quiet.  It's absolutely crazy, and it seems as though Andrew and I have become very accustomed to the quiet.  When we all got home last evening, I was so relieved we'd made it through the week...and only one more week until our break!  I went to bed at 11:00 last night, and truly slept better than I have in quite some time, and I slept blissfully until 10:00 this morning!  I clearly needed all that sleep!  

Today Andrew and Thomas left to go east for two nights.  I was finally able to get some gifts wrapped and the Christmas cards are almost finished, and I actually feel like I am getting some things accomplished.  Although we aren't doing anything special, I'm enjoying my evening with just Catherine and I sitting here.  And in six days we will be starting break!

Exhausted, but I wouldn't have traded any of it

We made a trip to visit Andrew's mother this weekend, and the kids came with us.  We left here just after 5:30 Friday and began our drive west because we needed to pick up Catherine.  We then finally went east so we could grab Thomas, and finally arrived at our destination at nearly Midnight.  Today we were on the road by Noon and made the trip in reverse, arriving home about 6:00.  It was a lot of time in the car, but I wouldn't have traded anything about it.  Yesterday was especially fun.  Andrew and his mom went to church, and the original plan was dinner.  But between church and the hurricane remnant rains, we decided to just bring dinner in instead...and that was the best decision ever.  We sat around the table and we shared awesome food and laughed so hard.  We bought Andrew's mom an assistant device for her birthday, and as Thomas put it together, we laughed some more.  The car rides were fun, and I really sat there and soaked up every moment as I enjoyed getting to know my children as adults.  Andrew and I have another really long week this week, although for me school is closed on Friday.  Regardless, I knew we would have a blast and I'm so, so glad we made this trip.  I may be exhausted physically, but my emotions were truly buoyed by this trip.

Our weekend

I'll be honest, life has been pretty draining for these last few days.  Ultimately, I think everything and everyone is going to be just fine.  It's just been a tough few days.  Catherine slept away nearly the entire day of Friday, which is exactly what she needed.  Again, she has a clean bill of health (physically), and physically she is bouncing back quickly.  Honestly, while she could use some specific behavior therapy, I believe if she would maintain visits with her counselor, she can manage her incidents in the meantime.

I picked Thomas up from school Friday evening.  He had to work, so I didn't get there until 8:00.  Because Andrew had to be at the football game, we asked Catherine's best friend to come and sit with her while we were both gone.  Belle had these same pseudo seizures for years when she was in junior high and high school, but she had never seen one.  It was a new perspective for her!  She had a quiet day yesterday, and by today she was feeling much better.  Andrew took her back to school this afternoon.  She can't drive and has an appointment with regular doctor Tuesday morning, so I'll need to go get her after work tomorrow, and then take her back to school Tuesday morning.  I'm trying not panic about what this hospital bill is going to be and how much work I'll miss (maybe one of these days I'll have a job that actually has paid time off)!

Meanwhile, Thomas had his first work shift Friday evening which is why I picked him up later, and we didn't get home until about 9:30.  I appreciated that most of the traffic was gone by then.  Yesterday he hung out until it was time for the school homecoming dance.  Since his girlfriend is still in high school, he had come home to go with her.  To be honest, it was not much effort or excitement in our house, mostly because we just weren't up for it.  He had fun though, and enjoyed seeing underclassmen he knew.

Andrew and I went to church this morning.  Honestly, it was a little depressing because it was the kick-off for the Sunday School year, and there were all of five students in attendance in grades pre-k to 12.  Not five in each class, five total.  It's a rough time in that regard.  Thomas went to a picnic with his girlfriend, and then I needed to get him back.

I'll be honest, I was so tired, but I loved the time we had together to chat.  Thomas is so much like me.  He doesn't dislike being at school, but he does appreciate being home.  He loves being with the pets and with his family.  Dropping him off at school, while I know he isn't unhappy, pulls at my heart strings.  Big time.

In fact, the drive home felt like it took forever.  I was looking forward to getting home and having a quiet evening with just the two of us.  But as I pulled into our neighborhood, and I realized how drained I was from all of my emotions, and I realized just how quiet it was going to be this evening, I began to cry.  I miss the reasons our house has craziness.  It was just the emotions of the week catching up with me, and with two meetings this coming week and working at an athletic event, it will be another crazy week, especially with two trips for Catherine.  I don't want to wish away time.  Life seems too short as it is.  I've been blessed with some lovely downtime, and my life is full of amazing blessings.  I just couldn't help but think of 15 years ago.  I was exhausted with having little kids, but somehow things seemed easier.  The things we worried about with our kids didn't seem so life-altering.

My husband is amazing.  I haven't cooked in forever, and when he asked what was for dinner this evening, I replied, "popcorn."  He said, "You go!"  He knows I love popcorn, and it is what I need this evening.

Tuesday in mid September

 The weeks seem to be passing so quickly.  I wish time could slow down a bit, but I guess it would slow down on the weekends, not so much the weeks. :)

Andrew had to work athletic events last night and tonight, he has a school board meeting Thursday and works the football game Friday evening.  Tomorrow I'll be spending some significant time at the church when I get off from school, and then I suspect I'll be doing church work at home tomorrow evening.  Friday I'll be making a trip to get Thomas to bring him home for Homecoming.  This eleven day stretch is the longest I've gone without seeing him.  I know this is a good thing, but it doesn't stop me from being emotional.  Catherine will also be home this weekend, and I love that we'll have a bit of togetherness again.

In fact, I've been a little ridiculously emotional about a lot of things today.  Seeing a cute pic of Thomas from middle school made my heart yearn.  Telling a coworker about something that happened 16 years ago that made me cry had me in tears all over again today.  I watched the end of the Apollo 13 movie and cried.  I know that I'm tired and there is a lot going on, and it's a transitional phase of life.  I'll be fine.

The weather has been gorgeous for these two days, although it will be getting warmer as the week goes along.  In fact, it's supposed to be nearly 90 on Saturday.  Ugh!!!!  I'll sure be glad when the real fall is here and sweatshirts are needed!

It was a wonderful Labor Day weekend

I really loved this weekend, just as I thought I would.  The only downside to the weekend is that is has to end.

I think Thomas was a little bored this weekend.  His girlfriend wasn't allowed to see him at all, and another friend he texted wasn't available.  Hopefully that will make the fact that he is staying at school next weekend more appealing.

Saturday was a complete washout of a day with the weather.  It rained steadily all day, and that made the football on TV even more wonderful.  It was exactly the kind of Saturday I love having in the fall.  The only thing that could have made it better was if Notre Dame had beaten Ohio St (ugh, I hate when they play each other), but it was a wonderful day.

Yesterday we awoke to a large branch that had broken off our tree and was partially blocking our street.  The police had been called by a neighbor.  By the time we dealt with all of that we decided to watch our church service on TV.  I am always, always so grateful for our pastor and his messages.  I went to work a bit at church in the afternoon, and Catherine came home late afternoon.  We made tacos for dinner, and as always, I love hearing the sounds coming from my living room when the kids are together and bonding.  After dinner Andrew and I paid a short (and delightful) visit to a new neighbor, then we came home to watch a movie as a family.  It was not at all a great movie, but mindless and I knew we would chuckle and maybe even laugh...which we did.  I loved all of us sitting in the room together sharing those moments.  

This morning we all slept in, and then Andrew made breakfast.  Cooking is definitely his love language.  Thomas packed up his loads of laundry and other things to take back, and shortly afternoon we headed to my hometown.  We had a wonderful visit with my grandmother, and I know that she was so happy to see us.  We then took Thomas back to school, and it was nice for Catherine to be able to see how it all worked at his school.  She left to head back to her apartment when we got home, and Andrew and I had a quiet dinner of leftovers.

I'm a little melancholy this evening.  Not just that the house is so quiet again, but that the weekend is over.  I made the mistake of counting and realizing it will be 15 weeks before I have another Monday where I don't have to work.  I like my job, but I don't love getting up as early as I do.  Anyway, I loved having some noise around this weekend, and the weekend was full of so many blessings.  I feel peaceful this evening, which is a lovely way to begin another crazy week.