I will always remember

Yesterday, we had an open house to celebrate Thomas and Lyndi's wedding.  It was nothing formal, just come by when you can.  I will always remember how my kids felt loved by the people who came to celebrate them.  I will always remember how my son shared with me that he shed tears when he opened the gift from his Godfather, who created a unique piece of art personal to them, just as my son had done for them when they married ten years ago.  I'll never forget my son calling me last evening after they got home to thank us for all we had done.  I'll never forget how much love I felt in that room, or the gratitude I felt for those that were able to make it, and also for those who couldn't be there but let us know.  I am so grateful.

But I know a person can hold two feelings at the same time.  When Thomas and Lyndi first talked about getting married, I remember thinking how I couldn't imagine having a wedding that didn't include our big extended family.  I was so grateful to have been included in grad parties, weddings, baby showers, etc., and I wanted all of them to share this day with us.  The kids agreed a format like yesterday was a perfect way to include all of them.  And I will always remember how it felt, when I looked out over everyone, and not a single one of them was there.  Not. A. Single. One.  My mom was there, and my sister was there.  None of my first cousins and their kids, none of my second cousins or their kids.  No aunts and uncles. Absolutely none of that big extended family was there.  And the worst part?  With the exception of my aunts and two cousins, NO ONE even bothered to RSVP that they weren't coming.  I'm not asking for a gift, but at least acknowledge the celebration and politely decline.  And here's the thing, you want to do this to me?  Okay.  But this was about celebrating my kiddo, who is working really hard to be a decent young person in a really hard world.  I couldn't help but think back to all of the graduations, weddings, grad parties, showers, soccer games, baseball games, football games, plays, etc. I had attended, nearly all of which were at least an hour's drive.  And I was happy to do it and so grateful to be included in most cases.  And even times when I couldn't attend a specific milestone event, I ALWAYS sent a gift.  I was important to me to cultivate those family ties.  

Don't get me wrong, I am not claiming some huge family conspiracy against us.  Not at all.  It just is what it is.  And what it is, hurts.  I'm sure Thomas didn't think much about it.  Friends were there.  And those friends who are always there and have become our "framily"?  Absolutely.  One of our dear friends drove home from a college performance in Detroit and arrived in the middle of the night, then was driving back last night.  So many dear, dear friends were there and made my kiddos feel so special.  As did my coworkers, whom I adore.  And I still love my family, but I also need to guard my heart a little.  And I need to guard my energy.  This September has been REALLY hard (a post for another time).  If this is how my extended family feels about events, then it's okay for me to send a gift and save my energy for the people who will truly appreciate it.  This Mama Bear is so grateful for the people who love my kiddos, and they are all truly a gift.

Last trip of the summer

This past weekend we took our final trip of the summer.  Yesterday was also my final day off for the season, but we still aren't working full days.  Yes folks, the new school year is nearly upon us.

I had originally taken these days off to have a nice long weekend at home.  Plans changed though.  Friends from California were going to be in Pittsburgh so that meant traveling over on Friday, and then my mom had a medical appointment on Monday and I told her I would take her, then we had lunch with my daughter-in-law, so needless to say, not nearly as many things got done as I had hoped.  But that is life!

Anyway, it was a nice visit in PA.  We got in Friday for an awesome dinner with my mother-in-law.  Saturday I was able to sleep in until almost 10.  We had plans in the city, and we had such a great time seeing so many people we hadn't seen in quite a while.  In fact, in my case it had been years since I had seen them.  It was so hot though, and even in the a/c, it was so crowded that it was really warm.  I was grateful that by early evening we were back at his mom's house and brought in a pizza for dinner.  We watched a cheesy Christmas movie, and I really enjoyed having the opportunity to visit.

Two weeks from today we will be getting ready for the first day of students the next day.  The summer always goes so quickly, but I love my job...and I'm soooo ready for cooler weather that the fall will (hopefully) bring!

Mid-June

I am off work today, and I've enjoyed the quiet.  I don't get much alone time in my house in the summer, and I'm cherishing this opportunity.  Catherine is home from work, but is taking a nap in her room.  I should be more productive, but I'm listening to our sink drive (ugh!) and enjoying our cat, Maudie, who is insisting to be right up against me (it's a little warm, but sweet).

Tuesday, Andrew hit the road again, God love him.  Our original plan for the summer had been to take a trip to Vermont at the end of July and to take his mom with us as it was a visit to Andrew's aunt who is 92.  However, the week before we left for vacation, a phone call came explaining that Aunt had been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.  Treatment would only extended the inevitable, and at 92, well...I think you understand.  It was decided that Andrew and his mom would make the trip right away, and unfortunately it meant I couldn't go.  I'm so, so grateful though, that Andrew and his mom are able to do this.

I've also been spending day looking around at my house.  I love photos.  I love having memories literally staring at me.  The hard part?  I can't cover every single wall space and flat surface with photo frames.  In the last six weeks, we've had two big photo-worthy events in the wedding and our vacation.  As I said, we took a TON of photos on vacation.  I'm trying to not have a cluttered house, while also having these memories surround me.  They truly bring me joy.  

I am so grateful for this summer and the slower pace of life!

It's been a very nice break

This spring break has been absolutely fabulous.  It's been a terrific mix of fun, productive, and relaxing.  We have 7-1/2 weeks of school remaining, and it feels really easy after this week.  I'll probably feel differently by about 10am Monday, but I'll take it however long it lasts!

I never really got into the basketball games last week.  There were only a couple of good first round upsets, and those teams didn't make it to the second weekend.  We had dinner plans with dear friends with Saturday and I did really enjoy that.

Monday was a day that I allowed myself to just hang out and do whatever I wanted.  The "thing I wanted" this week has been organizing photos, and I've gotten soooo much done.  I'm so pleased!  Tuesday, I worked, both at school and at church, and Wednesday I had lunch plans and then made a trip to visit my grandmother.  Yesterday, Andrew had a doctor appointment, so he was home, and we ran an errand and ate lunch out, then we settled in to watch Opening Day.  Not how we wanted it to go, but there are 161 games remaining.  Today I am home along again, although I didn't sleep last night.  I don't mean I didn't sleep well, I mean I literally couldn't sleep, so I've been awake now for the 25 hours.  I don't love that this is how break is ending, but I am super grateful I don't have to work today!  I've really appreciated the alone time from this week, but I've also really appreciated some time spent with family and friends.  It's been a fabulous break!

This last day of January sure held a lot of emotion

Today is the last day of January, and it always the day we celebrate becoming a family.  I will forever be grateful to have been a mother to my three kiddos.  For the first time, I'm not sure we will actually have an opportunity to celebrate it as a family, but that is probably okay.  My kids are adults, and looking to the future and starting their own families.  I miss having little ones, but I'm so grateful for the adults they are becoming.

I also learned this morning that a school mate had passed away after taking his own life.  Ryan and I met in second grade, and we were Mutt and Jeff according to many.  I'm just under 5', and he is over 6'.  We could fight like cats and dogs, but we were friends.  I hadn't seen him in over 20 years, but saw him again last February when we attended the funeral for another classmate.  His daughter went to college here in town, and I kept meaning to reach out to his parents (who I've seen many times over the years, sadly, mostly at the funeral home) to get his number so we could visit sometime when his family was in town.  I never did though, and now I can't.  I'm angry at him for taking this route, and I'm angry at myself that I didn't make more of an effort.  And I'm so heartbroken for the family and loved ones he left behind.

I'm very grateful today is Friday.  Sleep isn't coming easily tonight, and I'm glad I can sleep in tomorrow.

The "grands" came to visit

Thomas's girlfriend has three young nieces.  They are sweet girls, and we've enjoyed the few times we've seen them.  Earlier this week, Thomas asked if he and his girlfriend could come visit us this evening.  Of course we said yes!  Then he let us know that they would have the three girls.  Of course we are still happy to have all of them!  I told them Andrew had to work until late afternoon, and he said they'd come by as soon as they picked up the girls.  And then yesterday, he texted to let me know that they'd be here right after lunch.  This meant they'd be here for hours, and most of the time Andrew wouldn't be here.  Not exactly how I expected to spend my Saturday afternoon, but okay!

We had a few toys that we've kept over the years that are easy to pull out for young kids, and we did exactly that.  We also got out some books.  I had apples that could be cut up for snacks, and I love string cheese so there was plenty of that!  All-in-all, they were here for over three hours.  I think they wanted to stay for dinner, but the girls were starting to get a little fussy.  I couldn't blame them.  We decided to give the kids money for dinner and they were on their way.  I'll be honest, I was absolute exhausted.  As much as I enjoyed spending the day with them, I wasn't overly sad that they weren't involved in dinner.  Andrew and I decided to have a dinner out before the students return (tomorrow).  We hit the local Mexican restaurant, and kind of laughed at the irony that we were seated next to a large group which included some very loud children.

I look forward to they day when Andrew and I will actually have our own grandchildren, but I'm not in a rush.  My own kids need to grow up a little bit themselves. 😊

My grandmother turns 94 today

Today my grandmother turned 94.  I called her this evening and she sounded very chipper.  She said she'd had a cupcake, my sister has visited, and everyone made sure she knew it was her birthday.  Last spring we really didn't think she would still be here with us.  She made an incredible recovery and is doing well.  This weekend we are going to take a meal into her.  I'm grateful for the opportunity to celebrate her!

Andrew and I were both home today because of the weather, but we weren't actually home.  I'll write another post about the weather and our day soon!

I didn't take any of this Christmas for granted

This has been a really nice Christmas, and I don't take that for granted.  My heart was so full last night as I went to bed, and both Thomas and Catherine were sleeping here.   I loved it when T told me that Thomas really wanted to wake up here on Christmas morning.  It was so sweet.  We had a lovely morning exchanging gifts and getting ready before heading to my mom's this afternoon.  My sister and mom and a family friend joined us for lunch and then we all exchanged gifts.  By this time, I was fading as I've had a cold for a couple of days but had continued pushing through.  We gathered our things and headed home.

Yesterday was an even better day.  I went with our dear friend to pick up her oldest from the airport.  We went back to their house and joined our families together for a wonderful dinner.  I loved having all of kids together and I especially loved that the significant others have joined.  The food was good, but the company was even better.

It's been a truly wonderful couple of days filled with many people I love, and I don't take that for granted!

We are healthy

It seems as though a new vehicle may be in my future.  I can't even write about this situation right now as it is too frustrating.  This morning though, Andrew and I went out to start the vehicle and it wouldn't start.  A vehicle is not in the budget right now as it has been a very expensive year.

I won't lie, there have been a lot of times this year when I've felt sorry for myself and almost felt like our family is being punished.  It's been a hard year, and I've worked really, really hard at trying to keep things in perspective, especially here at Christmas.

However, this week has been a stark reminder that our family is healthy, and that is what really matters.  I know that, of course, but sometimes, when finances smack you in the face, it can be hard to remember.  This year though, so many others can't say the same about their family's health.  At the beginning of the calendar year, a student at my school lost her mom to cancer.  We had two other families deal with a cancer diagnosis of their mom.  A young woman whom I've known her entire life (she is younger and I remember when she was born) just found out this month that her husband has a very aggressive cancer, and the prognosis isn't good.  He might have another two years here, and their children are very, very young.  A schoolmate of mine reported this week that her 21-year-old son who was diagnosed with leukemia earlier this year has been told there isn't anything left to do, and it was recommended that palliative care be called in.  They have found a trial in Chicago, but the reality is that Jordan needs a Christmas miracle.  While I firmly believe that is possible, I understand the horror and fear Karie and her family are facing.  Karie's family has already faced a horrible tragedy nearly 30 years ago, and it breaks my heart that they have to go through another one again.

So yes, my family is healthy and I'm eternally grateful.  It will be okay.  We will figure things out.  And we have an amazing (and healthy) family to walk it with us!

Thanksgiving 2024

We spent the quietest Thanksgiving EVER on Thursday.  Andrew made us omelets for breakfast with hash browns, and dinner consisted of sausage.  I worked on Christmas cards, and we watched lots of football. We finished the day with some episodes of our favorite show, and some Thanksgiving episodes of Friends.  It was a pleasant day.

Andrew took his mom back yesterday, and a neighbor was kind enough to meet them part way so he was able to be home last night.  Catherine has decided to be here all weekend, so we had some potato soup and watched some Christmas movies.  I'll be honest, my heart hurt a bit last night evening as I was missing our pup, and also missing Thomas as well.  This is what we strive for, that our kids are on their own, but there are plenty of moments when I miss the little people.

Today is the big college football rivalry game, and this year the Buckeyes should be in good shape.  We still have all day today and tomorrow to enjoy our Thanksgiving weekend and look forward to the holidays!

Making memories

Here we are, at the day before Thanksgiving, and I am looking at my nicely decorated Christmas tree.  I have ALWAYS refused to decorate before Thanksgiving, but since we ate on Sunday, and especially since Thanksgiving is so late this year, bring it on!

It actually happened in an unplanned way.  I was working on getting the trees up for planned decorating this evening.  Thomas texted as he was off work early and they were actually in the area in early afternoon.  I was happy to accept extra help in getting the trees put together and with lights, and Andrew was happy to have some help with the outside lights.  Everyone worked all afternoon, and after a quick break of pizza for dinner, the trees were all decorated by 7:30 last evening.  Thomas's fiance specifically mentioned how much she had enjoyed helping and sharing in this tradition.  The tree is full of so very many memories.  Andrew became a bit emotional as there are so many ornaments for our sweet pup.  She was included every year.   Thomas wanted to take some of his favorite ornaments with him.  It was fine, but I insisted on taking pictures! We laughed, but those memories are important to me as well.  In fact, apparently he was complaining to his fiance (let's call her Lynn, going forward) that the tree at their apartment only had "generic" ornaments on it.  I'm grateful these traditions and memories mean as much to them as they do to me.

Thanksgiving week 2024

Starting last year, the public school district and my little school decided to be off the entire week of Thanksgiving.  This, my friends, is brilliant.  I am all for celebrating the holidays in an extended manner!

It also made our decision to switch things up a bit even easier.  Thomas loves his in-law-to-be family, and they adore him.  I knew he would want to spend as much time as possible with them on Thanksgiving, and I didn't want our meal to feel rushed.  Since it is so few of us, I decided that we could do Thanksgiving yesterday, and we all agreed we loved it that way.  Andrew and his mom made a lovely meal, and it was a wonderful afternoon.

I don't deny, it is a bit different when your own kids have to come "home" for the holidays.  I really wanted to make sure we were able to decorate the tree together, and that was another reason for moving Thanksgiving up a few days.  I refuse to eat Thanksgiving in a home already decorated for Christmas, so in order to make it all happen given Thomas's work restraints, this was the best plan.  And with Thanksgiving being so late this year, it really feels as though it is extending the Christmas holiday!  I'll be honest though, I kind of forget that others are still getting ready for Thanksgiving.

We have a few plans this week, but we also have lots of time to relax and to decorate.  Life is full of so many blessings, and I'm so very grateful!

It was a busy weekend but a lot fun

This past weekend I didn't get to watch much football, and I'm okay with that.  We did get to see OSU knock off Penn St, and that was fun.  Saturday evening we drove to my hometown to celebrate my cousin's 60th birthday.  It was a surprise for her, and in addition to friends, there were 16 family members there.  I'm also friends with the owners of the bar, and they came over to see us as well.  We were home by 10, and then we gained an hour overnight.  My kind of night!

Saturday was Remembrance Sunday at church, and I just couldn't stand the thought of dealing with all of my emotions and sitting there.  We had lunch plans with very dear friends and then we had dinner plans with Thomas and his girlfriend.  For various reasons, it was the third trip I'd made that week to his apartment.  Andrew and I both agreed as we were driving around the Dayton area, that we really missed being there.  We love our house and our yard, but miss that area.  

I only have twelve more working days until a week off for Thanksgiving, and I'm really looking forward to that!

It doesn't feel like it's been five years

It was five years ago today that we had the funeral and buried my Aunt Cathy.  It doesn't feel at all like it has been that long.  She is so missed.  I can still hear her laugh, especially when I see a picture.

A good friend recently found out he had a melanoma on his leg.  Gratefully, he didn't wait, and they feel like they got everything when they removed it.  He is quite a bit younger than us.

In some ways, I can't help but feel like five years ago was when the family really changed.  My grandmother had lost her youngest child, and things really changed with her outlook.  We all know that was a big factor in her passing less than six months later.  And that led to the break up of our family as a whole.

It doesn't feel like it's been five years. 

I love Labor Day weekend

I have always loved Labor Day weekend.  Who can be sad about a weekend that has an extra day?  And of course, always very happy that college football has begun, and both our Irish and the Buckeyes won.  Great start to the season!

We spent 18 hours at my mother-in-law's house and took her to dinner last night.  She kept telling us how much it meant to her that we made this trip to celebrate her 85th year.  We went to the same restaurant where we go every time there is a family celebration and we eat out.  I realized it had been five years since we had eaten there.  We had gone over for her 80th birthday.  The one I really kept thinking about though, was ten years ago and her 75th birthday.  Last evening we were sitting near where we had sat for that dinner.  That time though, we had reservations for a large table of eight.  This time though, we had a small table of three in a small corner.  It made me a little sad.  Both Andrew's dad and his brother have passed away, and Robert is not around.  Catherine and Thomas both had things going on (they did call their grandmother today).  It felt so symbolic of the changes of life.  I know that not all change is bad, but it just kind of felt stuffed in our faces.

One change I appreciate...the weather!  I'm sitting here in our family room and I'm actually chilly.  It's going to get warm again for a few days, but for today and tomorrow I'll take this! 

The last one for a very long time

I didn't sleep well at all Sunday night.  However, the weather turned very fall-like beginning yesterday, and the weather for sleeping last night could not have been more perfect.  It was chilly but not cold, and I was exhausted and looking forward to a great night of sleeping.

As I crawled into bed, I couldn't help but think to myself how happy I was to have all four of us sleeping at home under my roof.  Neither of the kids had to work today and it all just felt so peaceful.  And suddenly it dawned on my, how very, very few of those nights are left.  In fact, tonight might very well be the last one.  Although Thomas will still be here tomorrow, Catherine will be heading back to her apartment in the evening.  I can't deny that that I am looking forward to some very quiet evenings in the future with just Andrew and myself, but I also can't deny that I have loved, absolutely loved, all the evenings our little family has shared.  We have made great memories together, and I'm so thankful.  I know there are still so many fun times ahead, but I also know that things are changing, and things will be different.

Sunday evening we had a lovely dinner together as a family, and Thomas brought along his girlfriend.  We ate at the lodge out at the state park and then we took some pictures in front of the lake.  I knew someone else there, and they kindly helped us out with the pictures.  We even went for ice cream after, and we had fun sharing the evening with our adult kiddos.

I'm so grateful for these days!

The first week of summer

The first week of summer has come to a close.  This was supposed to be our "quiet" week at work, but it was definitely anything but that.  The good news is, it is just the beginning.

My week consisted of working over 33 hours, but it was more flexible than a normal school week.  I also made a trip both Monday (with all of us) and again on Wednesday to visit my grandmother.  We are trying to have someone check in with her every day, but this is not sustainable for months on end.  And honestly, while Hospice is involved, I suspect she is going to be here when school starts again in August.  I'm not even ruling out her still being here at the holidays, although I certainly wouldn't have expected that a month ago.

I also got lots of laundry done and I got most of the house picked up.  That's a good thing, because I need to work at church tomorrow.  My allergies are making me really, really miserable.  Part of that is because the weather has been absolutely gorgeous, and I've been able to have all of the windows open.  Since Andrew has been at his mom's house, I've been able to sleep without any snoring or other bedroom distractions (like our sweet pup) and I've been able to make the bedroom downright cold.  It's been lovely.

Today is my cousin's birthday, and it would have been my maternal grandmother's birthday as well. She would have been 95 today, and I'm grateful that our family gathered together to celebrate her 90th.  It's really so hard to believe how much has changed in five years, and it's also really hard to believe how fast the last five years have flown by.  Family things make me fairly emotional these days, but I'm so grateful for the memories! 

Tuesday at the end of May

I love the fact that although we have been out of school for almost a week, there are still three days of may remaining.  I think we can all agree that the best part of summer is the beginning!  I have eleven entire weeks until the next time I have to get up for a school day.

Andrew has gone to visit his mom and help her with some things.  He took our sweet pup with him.  I miss them, but I appreciate the quiet time.  Thomas had a short work day today, but I was able to get three loads of laundry done and lots of school work.  The end is always really busy.

I'll be honest, I'm really sad that we aren't taking a vacation this year.  I know that an ocean vacation is not in the budget, and I know that the kids can't get off work to join us, but I'm sad that we can't make it happen.  Not only is the ocean amazing, but I always appreciated that our family had an entire week together, no matter how things were going in our lives.  I suspect we will be able to take a vacation again at some point, but I acknowledge things will never be like they were.  And that's okay, but it does make me a bit sad that those days are over.

I'm hoping to really spend some time working on some things around our house, and I hope our summer schedule allows this to happen!

It was a fun weekend to begin this summer

I'll be honest, this weekend felt longer than the 78ish hours that we had, and I'm so grateful.  Friday morning was a staff breakfast.  It was more fun than I thought it would be.  I worked for a bit over three hours, then I came home to begin my weekend.  Andrew and I attended a grad party in town, then drove up to attend the graduation of our best friends' youngest daughter.  I wouldn't have missed that for the world.  After graduation, we were all meeting together, when she took one look at us and began to cry.  Our connection is strong, and we've been through a lot.  We all went out to dinner, and then Saturday evening was the grad party.  It is always wonderful to spend time with our friends who are family.

Catherine was also here this weekend.  There are always tough moments with her as she attempts to navigate adulting, but overall this weekend it was really nice to have her around.  Our day yesterday was a wonderful family day.  We ordered some dinner in and then we played our new favorite family game.  Oh my goodness, the laughter...so much laughter!

Today both kids were off work, which isn't always going to be the case.  We decided to take advantage of the kids being around and went to visit my grandmother.  She was beyond delighted to have us all there.  My grandmother no longer gets out of bed and has been clear that she wants nothing to keep her alive longer than necessary.  Dinner this evening was with Thomas and his girlfriend, while I worked on school things.

Overall, it was really a lovely way to begin our summer.  I'm ready to enjoy the next eleven weeks!

I have to be honest

I have to be honest, this blog is really hard for me right now.  There are so many incredibly fun-filled family memories here, and while I treasure those memories, they hurt right now because that is not at all how life is currently.  I'm struggling on so many fronts.

A lot of this has to do with Catherine.  Her communications are infrequent, her visits are rare, and her choices are highly questionable.  She doesn't want our guidance and I totally get that.  She goes so far down the horrible rabbit hole, that by the time we find out, things are really, really hard,  It's frustrating for us all.  I'm struggling watching her high school classmates earn their college degrees, and although I'm so proud that she has some certifications and licenses, she can't seem to hold down a job.  It's a bit terrifying.  I miss having her around.  And of course, I acknowledge that the fact that I haven't seen or spoken to my oldest son (although Andrew has) in over five years adds to my emotions and fears about Catherine's actions.

Thomas is doing well, although he has struggles at his job as well.  He's a 20-year-old in a man's world.  He's doing fine and I'm so proud of him, and I'm grateful that his bosses are being patient with him.  He's planning to move closer to work to help eliminate his 65 minute commute.  I can't blame him as he has to be at work at 5AM.  It's hard to realize he'll be out on his own, but I'm so happy for him at the same time.  I don't love that he is planning for his girlfriend to move in with him, but I know I don't get to make that choice.  As I tell all my kids, life is so hard, and I just don't want them to make choices that make it even harder.

And then there is my extended family.  I miss what we had so, so much.  But my aunt & uncle, and some cousins, aren't the same people I thought they were back then.  And I'm struggling with other things in that regard as well.  I've received an invitation to an extended family member's baby shower.  I have to be honest, I detest showers.  Wedding showers, baby showers, all of them.  I'd be happy if we could just have a gathering and open gifts, but I don't enjoy the stupid little games that have to be played.  I appreciate the invitation and being included, and you'd think after writing about how much I miss family gatherings that I'd be thrilled.  I have to acknowledge though, that if the situation were reversed, they wouldn't be coming to our house.  They weren't around when any of my kids graduated, there has been no contact with my grandmother (their great-grandmother) since the pandemic, and I'm just not sure how to feel about that.  Additionally, I wanted to spend the day with Andrew driving around visiting the cemeteries like we used to do when I was younger.  It seems ridiculous that I would give up spending a day with living relatives to hang out at graves, but right now that is what seems peaceful.  And a peaceful feeling is definitely something that is missing from my life right now.

Next weekend we'll be attending the graduation for the "baby" of our friends.  And in fact, she was a baby when we started hanging out, and Jen was still pregnant with M when my kids started having Jen as a teacher.  It's so hard to believe this day is coming.  I'm so, so grateful that we get to be there.  We were there for her brothers special day, and although we couldn't attend her sister due to restrictions, we were honored to join in at the dinner following.

All of these emotional things are the reason I've stayed away.  While I'm grateful summer is arriving, we aren't taking a family vacation this year and I know that adds to my emotions as well...in years past that was always our opportunity to reconnect no matter what was happening, but not this year.  Additionally, my mother-in-law turned down our offer for her to visit here in a couple of weeks, which tells me this isn't a very fun place to be.

Andrew and I are headed up to my hometown to visit my grandmother in a bit.  He really wants to see her, but there is no guarantee she is going to be awake.  My sister was there twice yesterday and she was asleep both times.  Although it is warm (why does there not seem to be much spring anymore??) I'm looking forward to a lovely drive.