More changes

This weekend, Catherine officially moved in with her boyfriend.  If I am being 100% honest, I don't love cohabitation without an engagement, but I understand times are very different now and this is rather normal.  She went through an official application process and has been added to the lease.  Andrew and I are officially empty-nesters, and not just on certain days of the week!  I'm hoping to rearrange some furniture as well, so there are definitely going to be changes around here.  I'm also hoping that decluttering and pitching things is part of this process.  To be honest, it feels a little bit surreal.

Overall, Andrew and I enjoyed our weekend, but January is a tough month.  The church responsibilities are a little out of control, and there are so many this time of year.

On the upside, today the sun is shining (although it feels like negative temps with the windchills), and overall, I'm thankful for this life I am living!

She got to walk across the stage

Tonight was a graduation ceremony for Catherine's program.  It was a combined graduation ceremony with the other adult ed medical programs at her institution.  We hadn't realized the magnitude of the event.  There were even caps and gowns and everything.  It was a lovely ceremony.  As we met up with Catherine after, she mentioned that she finally got to walk across the stage.  I hadn't even thought about that, and my heart broke a bit.  It's been a really tough 12+ mos for our sweet girl.  I'm so hopeful that this ceremony marks a wonderful new beginning!

A lovely unexpected visit

Catherine has classes three evenings a week about 25 minutes away, but it's nearly an hour drive from classes to her apartment.  Last night, rather late, she let me know that she had several things to accomplish in town today, and had decided to stay here instead of driving to her apartment.  Andrew and I were exhausted (he had to work an event last evening), but we were so happy to take some time to chat with her.  Catherine was able to get things accomplished and was done mid-afternoon.  Andrew has to work again this evening, so Catherine and I decided to have Mexican for dinner (and Thomas wasn't at all sad he wasn't included since he's so picky), and it was really a lovely dinner.  She seems really happy right now, and I'm encouraged by her current decision making.  It was a lovely unexpected visit!

Early November weekend

I'll be honest, it didn't exactly feel like early November around here much as temps have been in the 70's.  Yesterday was rainy and dreary, but today was bright and sunny.  The winds yesterday took most of the leaves off the trees, but fall in Ohio is still pretty darn lovely.

Yesterday had some really great college football games.  The weather was hard on OSU, but they still be Northwestern.  LSU gave Bama their second loss of the season.  I hate rooting for LSU, but love seeing Bama lose!  I was disappointed Tennessee lost to Georgia, but LOVED the Irish victory over Clemson.  Awesome games!

Today Andrew took advantage of the weather to get a lot of yard work done.  I spent some time working in our back sunroom to make it a more pleasant space.  It will give Catherine her own space even when my mother-in-law is here.  It still needs work, but it's coming together.  This evening we drove up to have a dinner with just Catherine.  It was such a lovely visit, and it's so nice to see that she is in such a good place.  It makes me so excited about Thanksgiving coming up and all the time we will have together as a family!  And then on the way home, we got to see the most beautiful sunset!

I love this month, and in this month of gratitude, I am so very thankful for so many things!

Sunday took a turn

After I wrote on Sunday, the day took a dramatic turn, and not for the best.  Catherine called.  Her friends and roommates were with her, and she had learned some dramatic information about her boyfriend and she wanted to end the relationship.  We've realized he isn't the must stable person, and things took a dramatic turn that resulted in us heading to her.  It was more drama then any of us wanted for the evening, and it was nearly 9:00 before we got home.  Catherine ended up having a very emotional night, and his reactions and behaviors only convinced her that he was not someone she wanted to be with.  Being totally honest, we aren't at all sad that this relationship is not continuing.

It was a dramatic ending to our weekend, but it doesn't change the the time we had with our kids earlier in the weekend.  We are so grateful for this phase, and we love our kids so much!

Discharged

Catherine will eventually be discharged sometime tonight.  Poor kiddo, nothing is happening fast.  They ran a very complete series of tests, and everything is fine.  Physically, Catherine is fine.  Emotionally, she is not, and the challenging part is that she doesn't really realize it.  She needs to seek some mental health help, and we will be there every step of the way with her.  I am very convinced she will get through this.  Her official diagnosis is Conversion Disorder.  I am very grateful that they are sending her home, and I'm so grateful that everyone will get to spend the night in their own beds here.  It will be wonderful to have her home, and hopefully she can rest.  And even more hopefully, she can get herself together enough to at least go to classes on Monday.

It's ironic I had to make the drive on this date

Just a day over a year ago, I wrote about Catherine's breakup with a boyfriend.  What I didn't write about, was what happened exactly a year ago today.  I had sent a couple of texts throughout the evening, and she didn't respond.  Andrew was working at an athletic event and he didn't get home until after 9:00.  By then, I was frantic.  I decided I needed to drive to her apartment and make sure she was okay.  Andrew felt I was completely overreacting, but wasn't going to let me go by myself.  While I drove, he attempted to call campus police to have them check on her.  About half way there, in the middle of corn fields, Catherine called us to let us know she was okay.  I've never regretted setting out on that drive.

Today, I made the same drive with almost the same emotions.  Catherine began having seizures again, and went to the e/r.  Andrew went to be with her, and I stayed home with the dog.  I love my daughter, but I don't do well in medical environments, and I'll be honest, I'm a little irritated that she hasn't been doing everything she needs to do to take care of herself.  While they are nearly certain that, just like last time, there is no neurological cause, they have chosen to admit her and run some tests tomorrow.  Andrew needed his computer charger and comfy pants so I took them up to him.  I took our sweet pup along so that Andrew could see her, and he gave her a walk while I went in to see Catherine.  She is in good spirits and I'm convinced that if she starts making better choices she will be fine.

I came home and realized I hadn't eaten dinner yet, so I made myself a big bowl of popcorn and turned on the TV.  I smiled as I realized there a bunch of episodes of "Friends" on back-to-back.  For one thing, it is one of my favorite shows and I appreciate the mindless entertainment.  Additionally, it made me smile, because it made me think back to when this happened with Catherine two years ago.  I was concerned about leaving her alone at that point, and we put this show on because we can all enjoy it, just like we did six weeks ago when Rosie died.  Honestly, it brought me comfort.  I have tremendous faith that everything is going to be fine, and I'm grateful for that peace.

It's been a long day, and I'm so grateful to Andrew for not only being willing to take a day tomorrow and be with her, but for being able to do that without any problems.  And more than anything, I am grateful for my faith.

Nursing program induction

Two weeks ago, Catherine had let us know that there would be an official induction into her nursing program once she completed "nursing camp" this week.  It was so sweet when Thomas asked if he should be there.  We pointed out he would just be moving in and it would be okay to stay at school.  In addition to Andrew and I being there, Catherine asked our best friends and their daughters to attend.  As it got closer, two of them couldn't come, but Catherine's best friend Belle and her mom made the trip.  We are more grateful than we can put into words that they are always there to support her.  It wasn't a terribly long ceremony, but it was very nice.  This program is truly going to challenge Catherine, but we are so proud of her.  She really wants to do this, and we can't wait to see her be successful!

Nursing student

Catherine has not had the easiest of times at college.  Her first semester was entirely online, her second semester was over half online, and even this past year she had nearly half of her classes online.  She struggled significantly in those classes.  She had struggled enough that she had to delay her application into the nursing program.  This spring though, it was basically now or never for the application.  She had been advised that an interview may be requested, but it wasn't a bad sign.   When the request came, we coached her and advised her they probably just wanted to know that she was committed to being in the program.  Last Thursday before we left, a letter arrived from the School of Nursing.  Catherine gave me permission to open it since she was at her apartment, and I was thrilled that the first word was "Congratulations!"  Catherine gets to begin nursing classes in the fall!

So much has been going on

It's been a very long week, and there is still so much more to go!  This weekend is Thomas's senior prom, and of course Mother's Day.  It's never been my favorite holiday, and I intend to just rest from this week and get ready for the next week of craziness.  That is the thing about May.  While it isn't as crazy as some years because we only have one kid in school and not three, the fact that so many things haven't happened for the last two years makes this year seem more active.  I'm also working full time at a school where there are plenty of activities happening as well.

Catherine was home for the last week, and work has been pretty stressful for her.  There have been some challenges at work for her, and a few other issues have come up for her.  Her semester is finished, and I think she'll be in and out over the course of the summer.  It's a bit of a new phase, but we are learning.

Thomas has had an pretty amazing week.  On Monday, we visited Wright St.  I was glad that I was able to see the campus, and I think he'll really enjoy it there.  Last evening he had his final concert band concert of his high school career.  Since it was May 4th, they played some Star Wars songs.  It was a fun finish.  He still has a steel band concert next week, and then there is an event at an amusement park next weekend.  He is spending today and tomorrow at the state FFA convention where he was selected to be a member of the State FFA band.  We are so proud of how well things have gone for him with FFA these two years, and I only wish he could've started earlier.

It's so hard to believe this is all almost over.  I'm so grateful for all of the opportunities that my children have had, and I'm so incredibly grateful to be their mother.  I knew there are many transitions coming, and I look forward to getting to know them as adults.  Hopefully we will make many family memories this summer!

The middle of our January

The last two weeks have been extraordinarily long.  The first week, I was focusing on school progress reports, and both weeks I've been working on church end of year.  I still have plenty of church work to do, but I'm in decent shape.  At school, we've also been dealing with constant COVID cases.  It was a long week of calculating timelines and determining any in-school exposures.  The hardest part was the phone call I received Monday morning.  Andrew had been at a meeting Sunday afternoon, and the host had tested positive first thing Monday.  He'd been symptomatic, but because his son had a cold and had tested negative twice, he assumed he also had a cold.  We were very grateful to know right away, as it allowed our family to take precautions.  I spent the week sleeping in Catherine's room since she was at college.  Whenever we were all home together, we wore masks.  I didn't love wearing masks in my home, but we were willing in an effort to try to keep it from spreading among us.  My school still follows the ten day quarantine rule, and I don't receive any paid time off.  If I can avoid missing a chunk of a paycheck, I would prefer to do so.  Friday evening I had to take my mom's new phone to her, and while I was gone, I was thrilled that Andrew tested himself and it came back that he was negative!  What an incredible relief.

Meanwhile, Catherine has started her next semester of classes.  For a variety of reasons, she is taking a bit of a lighter class load.  She's still working here in town on the weekends, but not necessarily staying here.  We are proud of her for doing her thing, but as a mom that worry and fretting never ends.

Thomas has so much going on that he really warrants his own post.  He's got a lot going on and we are so proud of him as well.  It's not a normal senior year, but he's hanging in there so far.  He has a lot of work to do and has a lot of decisions to make.

There is a lot of snow in the area, but no so much here.  That is so disappointing.  I love snow!

What's happening

I wanted to take an opportunity to update what is actually happening in our lives...not just my thoughts and (very) scattered emotions.  As the parent of a senior, my last senior, I understand we are leaving behind a phase of live that has brought me immense joy.  Parenting is exhausting, but more rewarding than I could ever imagine.  I know that I will enjoy this next phase (and already do) of having my children be adults, and hopefully someday adding to our family, but I will always miss the days that came before.

Anyway, after the drama of Catherine's breakup last week, things seem to have settled.  I had a "raw" week and would panic anytime she didn't answer her text, but I'm feeling better after having gotten through this weekend.  The daughters of our dear friends when over to stay with her, and I have no doubt they had an absolute blast.  I also know (because they sent Thomas a picture) that they took her a little care package.  So sweet!  I am so grateful for those friendships.  She is enjoying her campus job, although I think she is finding it a little more physically taxing than she had anticipated.  She is so tiny, and therefore not terribly strong, and it has proven to be problematic for her.  The manager clearly doesn't love her, but overall Catherine enjoys her co-workers.  She also has a new room mate this year and we are thrilled!  She and Catherine get along fabulously.

Thomas is moving right along through his senior year.  He has already applied to two colleges that he and Andrew visited this summer, and has been accepted by one so far.  It's three hours away which hurts my heart a bit, but I know it's not about me!  He's leading his saxophone section in band, and looking forward to swimming.  He had to go on "break" status for lifeguarding which means he doesn't get scheduled, but he is picking up shifts as they become available.  In some ways, that is even better for him because we don't have to worry about him not being able to attend a scheduled shift.  He has a girlfriend who is a pleasant young lady, although they had some drama this week as well.  He's getting involved with FFA at school as well, and enjoys making new friends that way.

Andrew is still working at sporting events as well as teaching, and I'm still working my church job along with my significant volunteer duties in addition to my job.  Andrew and I have sometimes not had much time to chat with each other, but overall things are going well.

I really do hope I'm able to get on here and write a little more.  I want to continue to record our memories, even if my kids are grown!

The break up

For a variety of reasons, Catherine decided Saturday evening that it was time to end her relationship with her boyfriend.  I've not written much here about it, because we had only ever met him once about two months ago.  In spite of invitations, he had not wanted to meet us.  I'd had my concerns about him all along, but kept them to myself.  Anyway, on Saturday evening she let him know that the relationship was over due to incredibly hurtful and immature behavior that day.  We also came to find out that evening that anytime she had been with us he was angry, he didn't want her hanging out with any of her guy friends (or really any of her friends) and he had her share her location with him so that he always knew where she was.  As I explained to her, those are some red flags in a relationship, although he had never been violent or threatened her.  After she broke up, he attempted to text and call repeatedly so she blocked him.  He then tried to contact her on social media, so she blocked all of those platforms.  Yesterday morning she woke up to emails so she blocked him there (we didn't even know it could be done!).  She spent the morning at home doing homework and we shared lunch together before she headed back to her apartment.  When she arrived back at her apartment, he was in the parking lot waiting for her.  She closed the door on him, but he kept knocking saying he wanted to talk to her.  Her roommate told him Catherine didn't want to talk to him.  The roommate when out to check and he was still in the parking lot.  This was when we told Catherine to call the police and we were on our way.  The policed reported that he had been nervous when they talked to him, and he left.  We arrived shortly after and were there for about 45 minutes or so.  There was no more sign of him.  One of Catherine's roommates went through the police academy this summer and is making sure everything is being covered.  Again, at no point has he been threatening, but he just doesn't get it!  It was a much more draining day than we had anticipated, but it could've been much worse.  Catherine is prepared, she has plenty of pepper spray, and good roommates who are looking out for her!

Things happening here

We are almost an entire week into August...my least favorite month.  I don't think this year is going to be any different in that regard.  It is, without a doubt, a month of transitions.

Catherine worked her last shift at McDonald's last evening.  We had thought she might keep the job for the fall due to her class schedule.  However, she was able to find what sounds like a great job on campus.  She'll be in food services, which could be anything from dining hall to catering to working in the coffee shop.  It sounds perfect for her!  Classes for her start in two weeks, and I think she will be around here for the bulk of that.  We are disappointed that the majority of her classes are still online this fall, although two are in-person.  She is hoping between that and the new job that she will be able to meet new people.

We are heading to my in-laws today.  This was a pre-planned trip, but made very necessary when my father-in-law suffered what appears to be a stroke this week.  I am dreading this trip, as it very much feels as though this could be the last time any of us, but especially Catherine and I, see him.  As much as Andrew is going to hate losing his father, he hates watching him suffer even more.  I understand that entirely.

The weather has been gorgeous, but it's about to ramp back up to normal weather this time of year.  Just another thing I don't care for about August!

Prom

Tonight everyone (except me) is at Prom.  The high school invited back the class of 2020, and allowed anyone who is a junior or senior at our high school to also attend.  Thomas was a little disappointed he couldn't take the girl he likes who is a sophomore.  Catherine had not attended her junior prom, so she was super excited she was able to go.  To say that she looks beautiful is an understatement.  I'm so grateful for a dear friend who wanted to come and get her ready.  I am grateful beyond words, but that is another post.  Andrew is chaperoning, and I'm enjoying my quiet time.  My heart is so very, very full right now. 

Prom dress shopping

Our school has decided that a prom will be held this year, and they are inviting back the class of 2020.  Since Catherine didn't go to her junior prom, she really wants to go to this.  It's not really a prom as we would normally know it, as it will be outdoors, and only our students in the classes of '20, '21, & '22 are allowed to go.  I doubt that many students from '20 will want to attend, but Catherine does, and we went shopping.  

I don't love shopping, but honestly, we had a really nice time.  She enjoyed trying on so many different dresses, and we even found some lovely dresses on the clearance rack at less than $20 so she came home with more than one.  Normally prom dresses are long gowns, but Catherine is so short, and with only two weeks remaining we opted for a shorter, yet still very fancy dress.  Today we will spend some time shopping for shoes.

I'm grateful to get to share these moments with my kiddos.  I try to never take for granted all of our blessings!

I'm still not used to her leaving

Two weeks ago I received a text from Catherine, and I could tell that she was kind of "down".  She was going to come home the next evening because she was going to watch our sweet pup while we were gone for our friend's funeral, and I encouraged her to go ahead and come home that evening.  She did, and we were thrilled to have her.  While we were gone, she had an episode similar to the ones she had over the summer.  We were very surprised by this, and when we got home we had a conversation about things.  She was going to be coming home the following weekend (this past weekend) anyway, and then had a dental appointment yesterday.  We discussed that we had concerns about her driving if these were going to start happening again.  We explained that if she waited and left today, that would be another nine days for us to observes, and eleven days since her episode.  She agreed it was probably best that way.  I hated that she might have to be dealing with this again, but I certainly did not hate that my sweet girl was going to be home with us for such a long stretch.

It still went too quickly though.  We loved our family dinners together and watching some TV and some laughing together.  We had some wii bowling matches, and when Thomas was home Monday because of no school, I love that they made plans to hang out and get some coffee and doughnuts together.  Each day I was so grateful that the next day wasn't the day she was leaving.  But of course, yesterday arrived, and the next day was the day she was leaving.  I gave her a big hug before I went to bed last night, and spent a little time chatting with her.  This morning while she was still sleeping I went in to kiss her and prayed over her.

She let us know about Noon that she was heading back.  It still breaks my heart a little, although not nearly as much as the first couple of times.  Coming home today without her here, the driveway seemed empty without her car, and the house seemed empty without her laugh.  It isn't just me though.  She is truly Thomas's best friend, and it's hard that she isn't here to keep him company.  At the same time, I know that raising children who are independent is exactly how it is supposed to be.  I'm just not used to her leaving yet.

A first for me as a mom

This morning as I got to work, I received a text from Andrew.  He said that Catherine was texting him that her stomach really hurt.  My first thoughts went back to ten years ago, when she was in the hospital three times due to stomach pain when she had the stomach flu.  Andrew was getting ready to begin his classes and wasn't sure what to do.  I called and talked to her, and after some discussion, I was pretty sure it was just he spicy and acidic foods she had eaten yesterday.  Because classes haven't started yet, she was planning to come and spend a couple of nights with us, but I told her if she wasn't up to it that was fine also.  Ultimately, she felt fine and she is currently at home (and my heart is full).  I truly can not describe the joy I feel when listening to her and Thomas.

Anyway, this was a first for me.  I've always been there when my girl was sick.  Even though Andrew was the one who was with her in the hospital, she told him she wanted me (due to COVID, only one was allowed, and since he was already there they weren't allowing us to make a switch).  I'm a mom, and mothering sick kids is my job.  It has been a honor and a privilege to do so.  I know this is a normal fact of life, and of kids growing up.  I know that she was fine ultimately, but not being able to be with her was a first for me...and I know the first of many.

Finished with her first semester of college

Catherine let us know yesterday that she had officially finished her first semester of college!  I am so excited and proud of her.  She has worked hard, and I know there have been times when she is lonely because she hasn't been able to go out and meet people.  She got it all done, and although I'm not sure when she is coming, I'm looking forward to her being home for a while!

It was so wonderful to have her around

Catherine went back to her apartment this afternoon.  We had her under our roof for six whole nights.  It was wonderful beyond words.  I can't even describe it.  I am grateful that Andrew cherishes the time as much as I do.  I would've loved for her to stay longer, but I know she has things she wants to take care of at her place.  I am (selfishly, perhaps) hoping she will join us sometime soon to watch a Christmas movie!