Sunday afternoon drives

I just took Thomas back to school.  He was home for spring break this past week, which was ridiculously early.  But I always love having time with him, and enjoyed having him around.

He's been home every weekend this semester except one.  With his cat not being there and the one friend he had ending communication (not entirely sure why), he is lonely.  It is heartbreaking for a mom, but I can't change it.

I also don't judge.  I went home every weekend (almost) my freshman year, and so I am not about to tell my son I won't do for him what was done for me.  I handle the Friday evening pickups, usually, and I've also handled about half of the Sunday afternoon returns as well.  And I really don't mind.  Today was a lovely day and I truly enjoyed the drive home completely by myself.  It's a nice opportunity to just have some quiet and sing along with the radio.  I remember my dad, who took me back to school nearly every Sunday, tell me he never minded those Sunday afternoon drives, and I get it.  Missing him today, but always feeling he is with us.  I'm blessed to have my family.

First college band concert

Thomas loves being involved in music, and we were thrilled that he wanted to participate in the concert band at college.  He was asked to switch from alto to tenor saxophone, and has taken that as a compliment as well.  Tonight was his first concert, and I'm so glad that we were able to be there.  This particular band is an eclectic group of people, and we are so glad that Thomas is enjoying it.  We've always told him that no matter what, music can be a part of his life! 

Life at the end of January

It's hard to believe that a week from now will be the beginning of February, and yet January feels as though it has been a longggggg month.  There has been quite a bit going on, and a lot of it involves the kids, and most of it feels pretty dramatic.

Catherine specifically has had a significant amount to deal with in the last several months.  She is still living in a different apartment due to the flooding over the holidays and subsequent repairs needed.  Hopefully they will be able to move back into their original apartment over the next couple of weeks.  I do know that one of her roommates has decided to move out, so there will only be three of them living there.  Unfortunately, between Catherine's health last semester and distractions from her relationships, she struggled in one of her classes that is the pre-req for all the others.  It would put her another year behind, and she has decided to change her path to nursing.  She is planning to take STNA classes this spring, work until the fall, and then begin classes for either an LPN or an RN.  We feel this is a really, really good choice for her right now.  If she chooses to continue her education at some point and get a BSN, that is great, but there is nothing wrong with not doing that either.  

Catherine also made some poor financial choices last fall, and she is dealing with some pretty serious fallout from that as well.  The good news is that she is far from being the only young person to make some of these decisions, and I'm hopeful she is learning lessons, and if so, I'm grateful she is learning them while she is young and they are still more minor than major.  I firmly believe that, but it just change either the frustration of dealing with it, or the hurt of being a parent when your kid hurts.

And that brings us to Thomas.  He is back and school, and is struggling with life there as well.  His job has been tough, as he was never officially trained.  They were so desperate for lifeguards at the beginning of the year that they just hired him without training.  Then they wouldn't let him work because his paperwork wasn't done correctly.  When they finally got all the paperwork straightened out and got him paid (which took MONTHS), he kept getting in trouble because he wasn't doing things correctly at the job...because he had never been trained.  He takes his job seriously and was really upset that he kept doing it incorrectly.  Between that and a friend who just walked away from him, and his "illegal" cat, it's been hard on him.  The "final straw" for him was last week when they did room inspections and he was hiding in the bathroom with his cat.  I understand it isn't supposed to be there, but I also understand my kiddo is lonely and the cat provided company and companionship.  She truly is an absolute sweetheart.  Thomas decided last weekend that he would prefer to have her here where he didn't have to worry about her being "found".  I don't mind mostly, except that I wasn't looking to have another cat.  She doesn't really get along with the two who are here, and she is a CLIMBER.  We have to live with doors to bedrooms closed, and I can't have any of my picture frames sitting around.  To be honest, I somewhat resent that, and it makes my life feel cluttered and disorganized that things aren't in their "place".  And it breaks my heart that Thomas, yet again, feels so alone.

Today was a snow day that was called last night, which is always really nice.  At the same time, I didn't get done today nearly what I had hoped.  I've got a computer issue, that each time I try to fix, it leads to another issue.  That is exactly how life feels right now.  I'm hoping it's just January and the doldrums that tend to come with the month.  I'm also hoping that things work out for the kids, and of course a little bit of sunshine would be nice as well!

It's a lot

Andrew left a little over an hour ago to take Thomas back to school.  I'll be honest, I have such incredibly mixed emotions about this...about all of this.

I wrote earlier about the flooding in Catherine's apartment.  As things have developed, they have realized that the apartment basically needs to be rebuilt, and instead of hoping it might be ready when classes begin tomorrow, they have announced it will be months before it is ready.  Thomas spent Wednesday helping Catherine move all of her stuff into a different apartment, and we are so grateful that she gets to live with her roommate who has become a good friend.  She left to go back on Thursday.  I know she was ready, but it sure gets a whole lot quieter when she leaves.

Friday evening, we learned that Thomas had struggled mightily the first semester with his academics and was on probation.  We talked at length discussing various options for this coming semester, and he really wants to return.  Honestly, it was an incredibly mature discussion on the part of Thomas.  My ONLY concern about him returning is that it's a lot of money if he isn't committed to working hard and making it work.

I should mention that the first week of January is also pretty much the busiest at both of my jobs.  I worked Friday until 9:30 and worked for another couple of hours last evening after celebrating my grandmother.  Can we also take a moment to point out the emotions of celebrating her birthday?  It is WONDERFUL to get to celebrate her, but at 92 we can't help but be aware nothing in the future is guaranteed.

Catherine had met us at my grandmothers, so she drove straight back to her apartment.  When she got home, she realized that she had an email from the nursing school.  Catherine had struggled through the semester, but was able to work hard and got all her grades up to at least a "C" (and some even higher) except one class.  She passed the hands-on portion of the class, but not the classroom work.  Because that particular class is a pre-req for all the nursing classes this semester, she can't take any of them, and the class isn't offered again until the fall.  Listening to my sweet girl cry and process this was heart-breaking.  She's being incredibly proactive and reaching out with questions, inquiries, and communications, but of course it was Saturday and no one is really working.  Her classes begin tomorrow also and she isn't sure where to go from this or what to do next.  She has worked so hard, and I know that no matter what path comes next for her, she'll be fine.  Should she take the semester off?  Is there anything she can do to not lose an entire year?  It's all just so much, and as we talked to her last evening, I just couldn't help but cry myself, and I hated that she wasn't here so I could just hug her and hold her.

Later in the evening, the three of us were watching TV when Thomas announced that he had an email from his school letting him know that the heat wasn't working in his dorm, and they were planning to relocate the students.  At that point, I began to laugh hysterically.  I mean, seriously???  Are you kidding me???  Andrew and Thomas have just arrived back at the dorm and assure me that it is indeed cold and are woking on what comes next.

This is a lot of emotion folks.  And if you recall, we live in the Cincinnati area and any person who even has a marginal interest in professional football will know about the tragedy that took place this week.  The news of Damar Hamlin's recovery is miraculous, and honestly, I feel that God is using him for an amazing purpose.

I'm working on taking down my Christmas decorations today.  It seems appropriate, as doing so tends to spur emotions as well.  I appreciate the opportunity to have some time with the memories, as that is often how I feel when I put things away.  With being empty-nesters, those memories are even more poignant this year.

Praying for peace, and definitely praying for my children!  It's been a lot.

Fall sports season is coming to an end

I'll be honest, I'm not sad that the fall sports season is coming to an end.  Andrew has worked at least two nights each week, and many times three nights, and I've often worked at least one.  This is pretty much the end though, except for a JV football game he'll need to work next weekend.  I would love to say that it means we'll have so much more time together, although ironically I have two evening meetings next week.

Yesterday I made a trip to take some things to Thomas.  It was a beautiful drive with the leaves beginning changing, and of course it was awesome to give Thomas a hug.  He won't be home again for another two weeks, and I sure do miss having him around.  Catherine doesn't have any immediate plans for a visit either, and it sure does feel quiet around here.  It will be awesome to have everyone around at Thanksgiving.

Looking forward to a gorgeous fall weekend!

It was harder yesterday

Yesterday afternoon we took Thomas back to school.  Because had had moved into a room by himself, there were several things he needed from the grocery again.  Yikes...not cheap!  We bought him some cold medicine also as he didn't feel 100%, and I'm hoping and praying for multiple reasons, that it isn't COVID!

I'm grateful that dropping him off coincided with us having plans with our good friends, because it was a lot harder this time.  When we dropped him off the first time, it was all so exciting and full of so much possibility.  Yesterday didn't feel that way at all.  Thomas had a hell of a tough week.  He knows his classes might be tough.  There had been lots of good, but also lots of "hard" in those eleven days.  It was so, so much harder to leave him there yesterday, and I'm not going to lie...I am very grateful I get to bring him home again on Friday for a long weekend!

Not the alone time we thought it would be

When Thomas decided to attend school that would be over an hour away, we knew it meant he would be living on campus.  With Catherine at her school apartment, it seemed to indicate Andrew and I would have these glorious evenings and weekends with endless hours, just the two of us.  Don't get me wrong, everyone knows I love my kids and I love having them around.  The thing is, I love when we are ALL together.  Having just one around feels harder.  And I love my husband so much and love our time spent together.

The day that we moved Thomas into his dorm, we were home by 3:00 in the afternoon.  Andrew and I kind of sat around that day and looked at each other...now what?  That day felt like it would drag on forever, and I remember wanting to go to bed at 8:00 that evening.  I thought that was what our evenings were going to be like!

Haha, not so much!  The very next day, Andrew played frisbee golf after school and then I had a church meeting that evening.  We had a fairly quiet Thursday evening, and I was looking forward to enjoying a quiet weekend after we got through Catherine's nursing induction on Friday.  But then Andrew needed to work two athletic events that Saturday, and I was asked to work one as well.  Sunday became the day that we drove to see each kid at school, which meant we were gone over seven hours.  Our Saturday late afternoon and evening were exactly what I was hoping it would be, but it was hours, not day.

This week was even less so!  Monday I went straight to church to work and then did our weekly grocery shopping.  Tuesday I had to work a bit late at work, then had a church meeting at 6:00.  Andrew also had dinner with Catherine.  Wednesday I had to drive to take Thomas his glasses, and Andrew had to work an athletic event until after 9:30.  That was also the evening that things fell apart with Thomas.  Thursday I ended up working an athletic event and it was 8:00 before I got home.  Although I knew Andrew needed to attend the football game last evening, my original vision was a quiet Friday evening at home for myself.  Instead, I was back to move Thomas and bring him home, AND he unexpectedly brought a friend.  That means that although I knew Andrew would be working athletics this morning, my expected quiet Saturday didn't happen either.  We have plans with friends this evening, and I think Andrew and I are going to need all day tomorrow to recover and prepare for another crazy week!  maybe we'll have a quiet evening together this week, although I know he's already working athletics two evenings!

Lots of ups and downs

This week ended up turning south quickly.  The roommate situation for Thomas, which we thought was delightful, turned into a nightmare.  His roommate apparently has some serious mental health issues, which made Thomas feel unsafe and was leading Thomas to have some mental health concerns as well.  Fortunately, Thomas has a good friend who allowed him to sleep in his room, and we were able to move Thomas into a different (although VERY expensive) room yesterday.  Yikes.  Because of everything, we agreed Thomas could come home for the weekend, although he ended up bringing a friend and we are taking them back this afternoon.  Ultimately, this is all going to be lovely, I think, but the drama getting us here has been HARD. Like, "I-thought-he-might-drop-out-and-not-be-in-school" hard.

Catherine has also presented us with challenges.  She is convinced that she can handle things on her.  And of course, she can.  But some of her choices aren't the best, and it will cost her in several ways in the long run.  Of course, I have to let her make those choices, but it sure is disappointing that not only will she not ask for help (or even advice), when her choices start to go poorly she then lies about them.  I continue to point out that is she wants to be treated like an adult, she should start to act like one.

On top of the craziness of it being the first full week of school and challenges both Andrew and I have had at work, this all had made for some downs.  The good news though, is that here we are at the weekend.  Thomas seems to be in a good place, and life should begin to settle down for all of us.  AND, college football is right around the corner!!!

Mid-week

We are into Wednesday evening.  I appreciate being "over the hump" for the week, and I further appreciate that only work until 11:30 on Wednesdays.  I'm not going to lie, today was a bit of an emotional day today.  I had to make a trip to take Thomas his glasses.  I took our sweet pup with me, and it was nice to spend a few minutes watching them together.  Thomas is doing better today, and he also was very happy that he got a job this morning!  He will be able to lifeguard at the pool at school.  It's a great fit for him.  I'm glad I was able to see him in person and hug him for a few minutes.

For the first time, I'm finding myself struggling with being an empty nester.  It's not that I'm sad that my adult children are off at college, it's that I'm a little sad that they are adults.  I was determined not to be that person, but for this evening that's who I am.  I no longer get a say in whether my children are around or whether all holidays are completely devoted to our family.  I know this isn't a bad thing, and I am proud of the adults my children are becoming.  I know that I was careful to soak up the little things, and I'm so grateful that I was home with them so much and for so many things.  I know that we made so many memories and I'm so, so grateful.  Walking past those empty bedrooms this evening though, well, it's getting to me.  I also know that's okay as well, and it won't be long until I adjust to this new phase of life.

It was a tough day

I'm not going to lie, it was a tough, tough day.  Both Catherine and Thomas are having some struggles, and hearing Thomas get emotional on the phone made me cry.  His first day of each class has overwhelmed him, and while I know that is normal, it's hard.  He really wanted to come home this weekend, but we are trying to get him to wait until Labor Day weekend.  Andrew is being really strong about this, but part of me wants to compromise and let him come home for just one night.  I know at the end of the day things are probably going to be okay, but today has been a tough one.  I'm grateful that today happened to be the day that Pastor Logan sent an email to him.  Sounds like divine intervention to me!

Our first weekend as empty nesters

Today was actually a day all about the kids.  Andrew and I drove over to take a few things to Thomas and take him to lunch.  We also invited his roommate to go with us.  We were thrilled to meet him...he's a great fit with Thomas!  And Thomas was also telling us about all of the other people he's met in his "friend group".  We couldn't be more thrilled!  His classes start tomorrow, and we can't wait to hear all about it.

We then drove over to have dinner with Catherine and meet her boyfriend.  We were still stuffed from lunch, but it was a pleasant dinner.  He clearly cares about Catherine a lot, and we are grateful for that.

Our weekend ended up being far more scheduled than I had anticipated.  Andrew had to work six hours at the athletic events yesterday.  I have agreed to work at athletic events to take tickets if I am needed at any point.  It is a paying position, and while I may not get asked much, any amount is a bit more to use to help the kids with college.  We ended up with a nice afternoon and evening, just the two of us, which will be even better in a few weeks when college football begins!

Nursing program induction

Two weeks ago, Catherine had let us know that there would be an official induction into her nursing program once she completed "nursing camp" this week.  It was so sweet when Thomas asked if he should be there.  We pointed out he would just be moving in and it would be okay to stay at school.  In addition to Andrew and I being there, Catherine asked our best friends and their daughters to attend.  As it got closer, two of them couldn't come, but Catherine's best friend Belle and her mom made the trip.  We are more grateful than we can put into words that they are always there to support her.  It wasn't a terribly long ceremony, but it was very nice.  This program is truly going to challenge Catherine, but we are so proud of her.  She really wants to do this, and we can't wait to see her be successful!

Alone at school

Yesterday as we were driving home from moving Thomas into his dorm, Andrew mentioned to me that this year at school would be the first year he'd be there without one of our kids there in eight years.  And of course, we had those two fabulous years when all four of us were there.  The reality made us both a little sad.

This morning I kept thinking about that, and I had a pretty rough morning.  We no longer have any of our kids' "first day" photos to post.  We hadn't heard anything at all from Thomas since we left him.  I certainly didn't want to be a crazy parent, but even a "thumbs up" to a text I sent would've been nice.  I was pretty sad about things this morning.

I'm so grateful that Thomas texted early this morning, and it was such an incredibly positive text.  He mentioned all the good things that had happened since we left and said he hadn't texted because he was busy being involved.  My heart was so happy to hear these good things!  I am so grateful things are going well!

First year move-in day

Today is the day Andrew and I became empty-nesters, at least during the school calendar.  We are so excited that Thomas applied and was accepted to participate in a leadership program that is for the next two days.  What an amazing opportunity for him to meet a smaller group of people, who probably share some of his same passions!  We are so grateful that he took it upon himself to apply and was accepted!

I remember when Robert left four years ago.  As we dropped him at the motel and said our goodbyes, I cried.  I wasn't sad that he was leaving, but I was sad it had all been so hard, and I think I was crying tears of relief more than anything else.  Also, I kind of felt like I was supposed to cry.

Catherine leaving was so, so hard.  Once Robert left, our family of four had so much fun together, and life was so wonderful.  We made these incredible memories together.  And then of course, we had all that bonding time during the pandemic, and then she began having seizures which made me worry even more.  When Catherine left, it felt like she was "breaking up" our fun.  It was hard on me to have Thomas be home alone so very much.  Those two felt like a pair, and it was just hard with only one home.

Today, I was so excited for Thomas.  This opportunity to go early and to meet a small group, it was exactly what I thought he needed.  Andrew was insistent we could do this in one car, and by some miracle everything fit in my CR-V!  He is on the fourth floor, but the door from the parking lot is already on the second floor, so that helped tremendously.  It only took three trips in, and then Thomas wanted to unpack while Andrew and I went and spent our life savings for "last minute" items.  We then took him to lunch, which I'm so grateful we did.  We took him back to the dorm, and said our goodbyes, and watched him walk into his dorm.  Andrew was so very emotional, but I'm grateful none of us actually cried.  He's only about 75 minutes away, and he's ready.

I chatted with Andrew a bit on the drive home, and all was fine...until I walked in at home.  Oh my goodness, my heart could have broken.  There was just something about realizing this was it.  My baby will spend the bulk of his time, with only a few days of visiting here and there, at school.  This is the goal of parenting...so they can fly on their own.  It sure did happen fast though.  It's incredibly quiet around here, but life is full of so many blessings!

Orientation

Today we took Thomas to orientation.  I pointed out to him that in spite of him being our third child, he is the first one for whom we attended a college orientation.  I'm glad we had the opportunity to do that today, and I'm excited for him.  I'm a little concerned that he is losing his enthusiasm as it gets closer, but ultimately I think he is looking forward to the experience.  Three weeks from tomorrow we'll be taking him to school!

The middle of July

I can't say that I'm a huge fan of July...it's that whole summer weather concept.  In fact, right now the heat index is 104 degrees.  Yuck.  Unfortunately, it's only going to get warmer for about the next week.  I'm grateful that I have little to no commitments that will require me to be outdoors anytime soon.

I'm really, really close to being completely finished with all of the band paperwork.  I'll make a separate post about that sometime, but I'm not going to lie...I am super excited about that!  I hope to be turning things over by this weekend at the latest...and maybe even tomorrow!

My stress level is a tad bit high right now.  We decided to make the investment and have a sump pump installed in our crawl space.  Of course, as is often the case with home improvement projects, things didn't quite go according to plan.  They found some pipe leaks in this process, and found out that box external faucets have leaks, so the already expensive projects are just becoming more expensive.  It is what it is though, and I'm grateful we have the money to fix what needs to be fixed.

We also have an issue with one of our cats.  Andrew and Catherine have taken her to the vet, and there is no guarantee she is coming home.  My heart breaks for Catherine, who adores this cat beyond words, and I know Catherine will struggle if she passes.  Catherine is having her own struggles, and we don't need to add this on right now.  I also feel sadness for our cat Lincoln, who still loves to cuddle with Rosie, even at age 10.  They've always been inseparable, and that was why the pet adoption place insisted they be placed together.

Next week we are attending orientation for Thomas, where he'll get registered for classes and find out things we need to know.  He'll be moving into the dorms in four weeks.  I can't even fathom that in four weeks I'll be spending the night in my house with Andrew as the only other person under our roof, and that will be our new normal until holidays.  Oh my goodness.

Lots of feelings and emotions happening right now, but also so much gratitude!

Happenings in our house

The middle of July is officially here.  Four weeks from today Andrew will be back at work.  Time sure isn't slowing down, is it?  Although I appreciate (tremendously) the slower pace of summer, I know I'll be ready for the routine come school time.  And of course, with us being empty nesters, the routine is certainly going to be different!

Thomas has been working A LOT of hours these last couple of weeks.  He's been called in extra several times, and we are so proud that he is always willing to go in when called.  He's appreciating the increase in the bank account, especially since he had a speeding ticket to pay!  Such is the life of an 18-year-old, I would presume.

Catherine hasn't been working much.  She was a tremendous help in getting ready for the party last weekend.  She's having some minor medical issues that can be treated, and is working very diligently to make sure that she has things lined up and ready to go for the nursing program this fall.  To be honest, I am not remotely pleased with the lack of information and communication that is happening from her school.  I don't know if it is consequences of COVID, or just the way they've always been, but I am not impressed and would not recommend attending there.  Catherine is set on it though, and she's working hard to navigate the system.

I was back to work this week.  There is plenty to do this year, and I'm grateful for that.  I also have much more flexibility in schedule this year, so I'm not required to be "in person" just because I'm supposed to be there.  If there isn't anything to do, I can go home!

This weekend will be our first laid-back weekend in quite some time, and I'm really looking forward to it!

Nursing student

Catherine has not had the easiest of times at college.  Her first semester was entirely online, her second semester was over half online, and even this past year she had nearly half of her classes online.  She struggled significantly in those classes.  She had struggled enough that she had to delay her application into the nursing program.  This spring though, it was basically now or never for the application.  She had been advised that an interview may be requested, but it wasn't a bad sign.   When the request came, we coached her and advised her they probably just wanted to know that she was committed to being in the program.  Last Thursday before we left, a letter arrived from the School of Nursing.  Catherine gave me permission to open it since she was at her apartment, and I was thrilled that the first word was "Congratulations!"  Catherine gets to begin nursing classes in the fall!

So much has been going on

It's been a very long week, and there is still so much more to go!  This weekend is Thomas's senior prom, and of course Mother's Day.  It's never been my favorite holiday, and I intend to just rest from this week and get ready for the next week of craziness.  That is the thing about May.  While it isn't as crazy as some years because we only have one kid in school and not three, the fact that so many things haven't happened for the last two years makes this year seem more active.  I'm also working full time at a school where there are plenty of activities happening as well.

Catherine was home for the last week, and work has been pretty stressful for her.  There have been some challenges at work for her, and a few other issues have come up for her.  Her semester is finished, and I think she'll be in and out over the course of the summer.  It's a bit of a new phase, but we are learning.

Thomas has had an pretty amazing week.  On Monday, we visited Wright St.  I was glad that I was able to see the campus, and I think he'll really enjoy it there.  Last evening he had his final concert band concert of his high school career.  Since it was May 4th, they played some Star Wars songs.  It was a fun finish.  He still has a steel band concert next week, and then there is an event at an amusement park next weekend.  He is spending today and tomorrow at the state FFA convention where he was selected to be a member of the State FFA band.  We are so proud of how well things have gone for him with FFA these two years, and I only wish he could've started earlier.

It's so hard to believe this is all almost over.  I'm so grateful for all of the opportunities that my children have had, and I'm so incredibly grateful to be their mother.  I knew there are many transitions coming, and I look forward to getting to know them as adults.  Hopefully we will make many family memories this summer!

College decision

Thomas has done a lot of exploring for his college options...much more so than Catherine did.  He had been hoping to major in music education, but we learned the hard way that since he hadn't been taking private lessons since middle school that wasn't really an option.  I'm still disappointed that a kid who doesn't feel he is a performer (nor does he want to be) but wants to instill his love of music in others can't have that option because he can't play his saxophone at an extremely high level.  Regardless, Thomas had said if it didn't work out with the music route, he would go into Social Studies education, and I think that is the current plan.  He had toured both Bowling Green State and Wright State, and his final decision is Wright State.  Andrew had been pulling for BGSU, but I didn't really want to get involved.  At the end of the day though, I am thrilled that he is headed to Wright State.  I love that it has dorms and meal plans so we know he'll eat, and I love the fact that it is only about 75 minutes away.  I kept that fact to myself though, throughout his entire decision process, because I didn't want my sensitive guy to feel swayed one way or another.  He submitted his housing application today and we are working on getting registered for orientation, and it's all just really exciting!