A beautiful day for my dad's birthday

Today is another year of not being able to celebrate my dad on his birthday.  It's an absolutely gorgeous day.  With a birthday at the end of April, I have so many memories of celebrating dad on perfect weather days.  Dad's birthday on a Sunday is particularly memorable.  As a child, Sundays were the only day might dad might not work.  I miss him more than I can even put into words, but I also know that anyone who has lost a parent understands what I mean.

There was a part of me that really thought Grandma might not wake up today.  It's hard to see her living the way that she is and the way that she never wanted to be.  I really thought maybe it would be too much for her to face another birthday of my Dad without him here, and that she would be ready to go see him.  Grandpa has been gone over 21 years, and I just suspect she is really to see them all again.

Andrew will be home in about an hour.  He and Thomas had a spectacular weekend together, and I know they loved getting to see Andrew's mother.  I know she loved having them.

I'm feeling emotional about a lot of things right now, and I can't help but feel some changes are on the horizon.  I'm working on holding on to a peaceful feeling and for being grateful for the blessings in life.

Lunch with Grandma

For the fourth year in a row, we brought pizza in for lunch with my grandmother.  This year, my sister asked me to see if my aunt wanted to join us, and she did!  It's really hard to go see Grandma alone, because she just really doesn't understand what is happening around her, she can't really carry on a conversation, and she doesn't have the TV on so it's either a monologue or awkward silence.  I'm sure my aunt appreciated having us all there and not having to make the visit alone.  I'm sure it's also really hard on my aunt to see her mother that way.  And the fact that my uncle is in failing health is also tough for Aunt Connie as well.  It was nice to have the afternoon all together, and my aunt and I had travel time to chat as well.  We are all aware that this is almost certainly Grandma's last birthday lunch, but it was a nice afternoon.

My favorite Christmas decorations

As I'm getting ready to put away the Christmas decorations, I find myself thinking about my favorite decorations.  While there are so many that are filled with memories, and there are plenty that are over 40 years old, my favorite decorations are the photos.  I have 16 frames filled with Christmas photos from various years.  Obviously, not every year is represented, but I love not only looking at the memories, but I love the decorative nature of the frames.  I added this year already.  I've actually run out of room on the shelves where I keep them, but I've worked it out to expand a bit.  It makes me so incredibly happy when I get each photo out each year.

I undecorated the trees this evening.  I needed to separate Catherine's ornaments this year.  It seems like our trees might be pretty bare next year!  As I was putting the ornaments into their own bin, I couldn't help but think about how much I'm going to miss them next year.  I thought it wouldn't bother me because we've already had Thomas take his.  But, I realized this evening that some of the memories were still there because seeing Catherine's ornaments would make me think of the memory.  For example, one year, all seven of my grandmother great-grands visited Disney.  She made each of the kids a Disney related ornament that year by making them cross-stitch ornaments.  Those kinds of memories are so dear to my heart.

And speaking of my grandmother, today she turns 95.  My sister saw her today and said she is definitely fading cognitively.  My mom, sister, aunt and I are going to see her Saturday and bring in lunch.  I am nearly certain this will be her final birthday.  I am so, so grateful to have had her in my life for so long, but I know this is not how she wants to be living.

An entire week into 2026...time is still flying!

My grandmother turns 94 today

Today my grandmother turned 94.  I called her this evening and she sounded very chipper.  She said she'd had a cupcake, my sister has visited, and everyone made sure she knew it was her birthday.  Last spring we really didn't think she would still be here with us.  She made an incredible recovery and is doing well.  This weekend we are going to take a meal into her.  I'm grateful for the opportunity to celebrate her!

Andrew and I were both home today because of the weather, but we weren't actually home.  I'll write another post about the weather and our day soon!

It was a lovely birthday afternoon

My birthday rolled around again today.  I miss my grandmother's email as she no longer gets on to her computer.  I'm not entirely certain she even realizes it is my birthday, which is a bit sad as well, and I know she would hate that.  I don't really know when (or at this point, if) I will get to celebrate with the kids.  Thomas wants to do something on a Sunday evening, and Catherine works all Sunday evenings, so I'm not sure how that will work out.  But, I had a really lovely day, none-the-less.  Andrew and I went to church this morning, then I asked if he wanted to go the "candle store" with me.  There is this store in Indiana that is just a fun place to visit this time of year.  I try to visit each year, but I don't think I made it over last year.  I didn't realize Andrew had never been there with me.  The drive over was absolutely gorgeous as it was a beautiful weather day (definitely on the cooler side) and very sunny, making the leaves and trees even more stunning.  Andrew agreed that it was a fun store, and we really enjoyed the store and the drive.  We ordered some food to be delivered this evening, and I've appreciated the end of my 51st year in this life.  And I'm so grateful it is a life full of so many blessings.

My dad's 70th birthday

Today would have been my dad's 70th birthday.  Earlier in the year, we had received word that today would be the day our town's foundation would be honoring new funds with plaques being placed in the tree grove that is in a town park.  Our family's fund plaque was placed years ago, but I could think of no better way to honor my dad on 70th birthday than to attend this ceremony.  I was able to get the day off from work, and it seems as though my mom and sister felt the same way I did.  They both planned to join along, although Mom ended up being (as I suspected) too tired from last week's surgery.  Andrew took a personal day to join me. I had never seen our fund plaque on the tree, and Andrew and I set out to find it shortly after we arrived.  My sister arrived, and lots of pictures were taken.  It was absolutely the perfect way to honor and feel connected to my dad on his milestone birthday.

My sister had a particularly emotional morning.  Before the ceremony even began, my sister had an appointment with my grandmother.  Grandma is essentially beginning to "give up."  I can't blame her.  She is 93 years old, and today marked the 11th of my dad's birthdays that has been without him.  Earlier in the month it was my grandfather's birthday.  In August he will have been gone 20 years.  Grandma is tired of living the way she is living, and she is tired of living of living without her loved ones.  She has outlived all of her siblings and their spouses, her husband, his siblings and their spouses, and her son.  My sister is also the one my mom is leaning on in her recovery.

I'm so grateful Andrew was able to have a day off and spend it with me.  While I've been emotional at times, I also know that my dad is with us every day, and I'm so grateful how much I was able to feel him today.  I know he is proud of us and is looking down and smiling on us.

Early January

My grandmother turns 93 today.  I wrote a year ago that I was fairly certain she would make it.  My feeling about her reaching 94 is less certain.  She's just not the grandma I've always known.  She know it too, and it bothers her.  She has mentioned that it may just be time for her to go.  She's perfectly healthy, but I do know if something happens, she isn't going to want to fight.  I completely get it.  I'm sure she would tell you her 93 years have flown by.

There has been a tremendous amount of sadness in the new year.  On Friday, a classmate of Catherine's passed away from cancer.  He was a wonderful young man.  I knew him, although not well, but I did know his sister well.  While I know there is gratitude that he is no longer suffering (and suffer he did), my heart is broken for them and I just can't imagine.  No parent should bury their child.

We also had a student lose her mom yesterday.  She'd been diagnosed with cancer 20 months ago.  Again, it just shouldn't happen this way.  My heart is broken for their family.  In addition to the husband and young daughter she is leaving behind, I've been able to know her parents and as I said, no parent should ever bury their child.

January is a busy month.  I've got lots of school work, and lots of church work.  I was able to get the Christmas trees down, but everything else is still up.  I didn't feel a lot of holiday joy, but I'm working really hard to be grateful for each day and to remember nothing is guaranteed.  January is always a month filled with so much reality.

Happy 50th to my awesome husband

Today is the day my amazing husband turns 50.  I can't believe we are both this age.  I'm so incredibly lucky to go through life with him.  It's not that every day is perfect, but overall we have far more good days than not-good.  We had a gathering with a few friends last week, and we had lunch with the kids yesterday.  Today I had to work at church after school, but we plan to have a drink on Friday.  He's amazing!

Today I turned 50

Today was my 50th birthday.  It's always nice when my birthday falls at the end of the week.  I awoke to a text from Thomas this morning who had texted right after Midnight.  That was so sweet!  The school Uke group serenaded me at lunch, and we had dinner with my coworkers this evening.  I received so many messages and texts throughout the day.  It was a very nice day.

This morning brought the biggest surprise, and honestly, it brought me to tears.  I was at school and was in the music room talking to my co-worker.  When I got back to my office, there was a small box on my desk.  I found a birthday note signed by Thomas.  He and his girlfriend had picked out a lovely bracelet, and the charms were a heart, a puzzle piece, a baseball, and a verse.  It was the first "I'll do it on my own" gift from him, and the fact that it was so incredibly thoughtful made it even more special.

I hadn't been excited about turning 50, but it's been a great day.  And ultimately, I'm grateful that I do get to turn 50.  It sure beats the alternative!

The last day of my 40's

Today is the last day in which I get to tell someone 40-something.  I can't believe it.  I've been alive for nearly half of a century.  It feels completely surreal.

Last evening, the four of us had dinner.  We decided to venture out to the lodge at the state park.  The drive was absolutely gorgeous.  It was a wonderful dinner.  Nothing makes my heart so full as having us all together, especially at a meal.  We had a really nice conversation, and seeing them grow into adults, well there just aren't words.

It's been a beautiful week.  At my job, there is this huge tree that is a gorgeous shade of orange, and right across the street are two trees that are absolutely gorgeous red.  It is such a peaceful view, and I'm so grateful each time I see it.  

Time is passing in life so very quickly.  A week like this makes it easier to slow down and be grateful for so many things!

This date is always hard

Today is my dad's birthday.  He would be 69-years-old today.  More than any other day of the entire year, this is the date on which I miss him.  This is the day that is supposed to be all about celebrating him, and he isn't here.  I don't love this date, but I'm grateful Dad was a part of my life for forty years, and that I celebrated him as much as I could on each one.  I vividly remember his 39th birthday.  It was my first year at college, and he was going on a work trip.  It was early in the "cell phone" era, and calling outside of the cell range was pricey.  I woke up really early so that I could call him shortly after he hit the road.  I remember how pleased he sounded that it had mattered so much to me.

It's a beautiful, absolutely gorgeous spring day, but it is still a day that hurts.  It's been a rough month overall, and I hope to soon write about things happening in our lives and catching up!

Grandma turned 92 today

 My paternal grandmother turned 92 today.  She is truly an amazing woman.  Since the day fell on a Saturday, my mom, sister, and the four of us decided to spend some time this afternoon with her.  I offered to bring in pizza, and we were all there for a couple of hours.  I could tell that my grandmother really enjoyed her afternoon with us, and she sent an email later to stating as much.  She said #92 is one she'll definitely remember.  I told her we will plan the same thing for #93!  As I told a cousin today, I suspect she'll still be with us!

The end of the season

Today is my amazing husband's birthday.  I always feel like I short change him because it is so right after the holidays, but this year I had gifts for him...actual gifts to open.  Then this morning I realized I didn't have a birthday card, so I'm still not completely on top of things.  I did at least leave the kids some cash so they could go buy him a card from them.  Anyway, in the last 90 days we have celebrated the birthdays of all four of us, and of course Thanksgiving and Christmas.  It's a crazy three month period of the year, but also my favorite.

Today also marks the end of the holiday season, as Andrew and I went back to work.  I ended up taking the morning off and I'm grateful my school was okay with it.  Six weeks ago today was the Tuesday just two days before Thanksgiving...one of my favorite days of the year.  It really kicks off the holiday season, and those six weeks are generally awesome.  It always makes today rougher, in my opinion.

We did manage to venture to our family's favorite restaurant in Cincinnati this evening.  I felt a little grumpy about it because it is such a drive, but traffic wasn't bad at all, and since neither Andrew nor I had any students, we were both able to get out of school a little early.  And the kids are home, so that made it even better.  In fact, it really was what I needed to do this evening.  I loved the dinner, I loved having all four of us at the table, and I love the fact that I am generally home early enough to get some things done.  I'm feeling grateful this evening!

A truly lovely birthday

I'll be honest, I'm not sure I was really looking forward to my birthday today.  For the first time since I became.a mother I didn't get to see any of my kids on my birthday.  Last year we were all together because my father-in-law had passed away, and the year before Catherine's class schedule allowed her to come for dinner and spend the night.  This year, it was adorable that Thomas texted me right at Midnight, and when Catherine texted me this afternoon she wished me a happy "27th" birthday...so sweet!  Everyone at work was kind, and I was even serenaded by the middle school students on their ukes and kazoos!

This evening I had asked Andrew to take me to our favorite winery where we could not only have a glass of wine, but we could restock my wine fridge.  We wouldn't be gone long.  Since the kids are coming home tomorrow evening, I decided we would do my birthday dinner with them.  Tonight I wasn't really worried about what would be for dinner, and as we were driving home we decided to stop at Dairy Queen.  A blizzard for dinner with french fries?  Yes please!

Now that we are home, I'm in my jammies and looking forward to a quiet evening.  And tomorrow is Friday, which is always a good day!  I'm so very grateful for today!

Today my dad would have turned 68

Today is my dad's birthday.  I always miss him every day, but it's always magnified on this date.  And of course, I can't help but think about my grandmother.  No one should ever outlive their child.  It shouldn't be that way.  I am so grateful that I had him in my life for as many years as I did.  He was an amazing father, and I'm so glad that my kids were able to know him.  Love you dad, and miss you so much!

Newest family member

Today, my second cousin Monica gave birth to a baby boy.  I am so excited for her to be a mother.  She will be fabulous!  Today also would have been my grandfather's birthday, so the little guy was born on his great-great uncle's 92nd birthday.  The circle of life certainly makes the passage of time feel stark.

It's funny how quickly generations can become "wacky".  Monica's mother was exactly one year older than my dad (he was literally born on her first birthday).  I was twelve when Monica was born, and now her son is literally decades younger than my children!

Today my friend turns 50

Today, one of my very dearest friends, Stephanie, turns 50.  We have been friends now, literally for decades.  I remember being at a surprise party for her 18th birthday...we've been friends that long!  It's hard to believe it's been ten years since we celebrated her 40th.  We've been in each other's weddings and shared more milestones together than I can even begin to describe.  This year, her daughter is turning 18 and graduating, so Stephanie wants to make sure this year is about celebrating the senior.  I'm so grateful to have Stephanie in my life and look forward to many, many more wonderful memories!

I will always remember this birthday

This has definitely been a birthday that is not all about me, and I'm completely okay with that.  The kids and I arrived at Andrew's parents last night, and we've been as helpful as we can be today.  I'm not going to complain about having us all together.  I had wanted to go out to dinner, but my mother-in-law didn't, and honestly, there is a ridiculous amount of food here, so we just ate at home.  I asked for ice cream, and I enjoyed the meal.

Additionally, my grandmother was taken to the hospital overnight.  I'm still not entirely certain what has happened, but although they are keeping her tonight for observation, they expect she will be sent home tomorrow.

It feels strange to say that I'm 48 now.  It doesn't feel that anything has changed, but this is definitely a birthday I won't forget!

Hands down, my least favorite date each year

Today is my dad's birthday.  It is hands down, my least favorite date each year, because he isn't here to celebrate.  Even Father's Day is okay.  I can still celebrate Andrew and my father-in-law.  Same with Christmas and other holidays.  I miss him, but there is still much to celebrate.  Today though, today there is nothing else to celebrate except his birthday.  It is the eighth birthday without him, and it still hurts.  He sure would have enjoyed seeing my kids become adults, and especially Thomas, who would've loved sharing so many hobbies with him.  I'm so grateful Dad is no longer suffering, and I wish him a very happy heavenly birthday!

Another trip around the sun for my husband

Today is my husband's birthday.  I am so grateful that we got to spend the day together, at least mostly.  He had baseball tonight, but other than that we were together today.  We ordered dinner in, the kids picked up a cake, and we gave him his cards.  For birthday gifts, I am having him choose exactly what he wants because many years I get him something, and it isn't what he wants, etc.  He was actually excited about this path!

I am so incredibly grateful to get to do life with him.  He is an amazing husband, father, and son.  I truly feel that I hit the jackpot when I married him!