Tomorrow we start

The clothes are laid out, the alarms are set, we are all ready for our first day of school.  For Andrew this is the beginning of year 30(!!), and Catherine is so excited to begin her first full year.  She started her job after the beginning of the year, so she is very pleased to be doing this from the beginning.  It's really sweet to see how excited she is.  And I'm starting year 6 in my job.  I"m so grateful to have a job I love so much.  The beginning of the school year used to make me sad when the kids were younger because it was the end of our carefree summers, and it marked the aging of my kiddos.  Now though, I'm excited to see our students returning tomorrow.  Here we go!

Whew!

There are just a few more days remaining in May.  And what a month is has been!  We had the wedding, which was a crazy weekend itself.  That was followed by musical week which requires extra evening work for school.  By the end of that week, I was absolutely exhausted.  For Mother's Day weekend, I just wanted to be able to sit, which I did because it turned out I had a touch of a bug.  The next week brought our end-of-year ceremony, but the night it was scheduled we were in a very severe weather pattern.  We ended up having to scramble and reschedule some things.  It made the week marginally easier, but meant the following week was tougher.  We so much rain in May it was crazy.  The last day of school is always the picnic, and every year we hope it will rain so we can cancel it.  After the rain had played havoc with our schedule the entire month, I was soooo annoyed that although rain had been in the forecast for days, the last day of school was dry, so the picnic was on.  Our boss fell and broke her hand right as the picnic started, which meant responsibilities fell more to me.  That was kind of how May went at school this year...not quite according to plan and just a bit of added work.

In the meantime, our pastor at church is retiring.  He has been pastor of our church for 25 years.  The man has been an incredible blessing in our lives, and I have no doubt that I would not be the faith-filled person I am without this pastor.  He baptized me eleven years ago, and I'm just so grateful that I've been able to not only attend, but work for, a church that, well, I can't even describe it.  He'll be missed, and the work is going to increase not only for myself but also for Andrew who is now our council President.  There are a lot of conversations and decisions that need to be made regarding the future of our church.

But the nice thing is...it is the end of May and school is out!  I know there is still going to be plenty of things to do, and there will be church craziness, but we have a lot of fun planned, and for the next eleven weeks, there are no students at school.  The time to relax is upon us!

A great beginning to our year

Today was a very peaceful beginning to our school year.  It was a beautiful weather day.  We made the difficult decision last spring to discontinue our high school program after the third year.  It wasn't sustainable, and we had no idea how mentally and emotionally draining it was on top of being financially draining.  We love being back to our roots, and we love our community.  

I also enjoyed that Thomas was able to come to school and work after school care for us.  He'll be helping us out for the next couple of weeks.  It's fun to have him around for that.

Andrew also had a good first day.  Working full time without parenting, even just one teenager, is different.  I'm grateful for this phase, even if I do miss having little kids to celebrate the first day of school!

The school year begins tomorrow, and it's different

There are so many changes to the school year this year.  Most of them are specific to our public schools, and especially to Andrew.  Because our school levy failed last fall, there is no longer any high school busing.  That is going to make the arrival and departure quite a mess.  On the upside, because they are no longer reliant on a two-tiered busing schedule, the school is able to start later.  It won't really impact Andrew though, because he has no intention of being a part of the arrival mess!

It's also a little different in our family as well.  A year ago tomorrow, we were taking Thomas to college.  This year, that isn't the plan.  We weren't overly surprised to learn that it wasn't for him.  It looks as though he is going to take training to receive a CDL and be a professional driver.  I won't lie, my kids and driving is a huge anxiety trigger for me, and I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to increase my medication.  At the same time, I can't at all say I'm not proud of him.  I'm thrilled that he has realized what would be best for him, and I'm pleased that he is making wise choices.  It's a little strange having him around again, but I suspect that won't last long, depending on what job opportunities await after the training.

There is also Catherine, who is doing things differently.  I won't lie, the last year has been a real struggle for her, and she is having trouble finding her "thing."  She really loves being a CNA (STNA), but her size is proving to be detrimental.  Not that she can't do it, but there are definitely some who decide she can't even before she tries.  Things might take her a bit longer, but she does get them done.  There are also family members of some of the patients who didn't want Catherine being the care-giver, which we think is because she looks like she is only about 15.  It's not fair, but we are pretty sure this is the reality.  Catherine was originally going to take classes for being an LPN, but that didn't really appeal to her either.  She decided to take classes for a certification of medical assisting, which will allow her to read vitals, take blood, etc.  She started classes for that last evening, and she also has a job working two nights a week.

It's kind of strange that none of my kids have a traditional "first day", but that is the phase of our life.  My kids aren't kids anymore.  They are adults, and I'm proud of them.  I love them more than I can even put into words, and I'm so incredibly grateful to be their mother!

Here we go school year!

Alone at school

Yesterday as we were driving home from moving Thomas into his dorm, Andrew mentioned to me that this year at school would be the first year he'd be there without one of our kids there in eight years.  And of course, we had those two fabulous years when all four of us were there.  The reality made us both a little sad.

This morning I kept thinking about that, and I had a pretty rough morning.  We no longer have any of our kids' "first day" photos to post.  We hadn't heard anything at all from Thomas since we left him.  I certainly didn't want to be a crazy parent, but even a "thumbs up" to a text I sent would've been nice.  I was pretty sad about things this morning.

I'm so grateful that Thomas texted early this morning, and it was such an incredibly positive text.  He mentioned all the good things that had happened since we left and said he hadn't texted because he was busy being involved.  My heart was so happy to hear these good things!  I am so grateful things are going well!

So many things I have wanted to write about

There have been so, so many things I have wanted to write about since I last wrote, but life has been incredibly crazy.  Work has been insane, but we finished today.  Yay!!!!  We made it through the year.  I am exhausted, my co-workers are exhausted, but we made it.  Andrew still has students tomorrow and has to work Friday, then he'll be done for the summer.  I've taken the next two days off since tomorrow evening will be Thomas's graduation.  In addition to exhaustion, there has been some emotion about that.

Today there was the added emotion of the horrific school shooting that happened yesterday.  There are no words for that.

My mother-in-law has been here since Sunday.  She is an absolutely lovely lady, but it adds a little bit of stress by having her around.  She was able to see Thomas's tennis awards last evening, and we've enjoyed some dinners.

I feel like I'm only hitting highlights and I'm missing information, but hopefully I'll have more time update now that school is over.  Of course, with the youngest graduating and heading off to college in the fall, maybe I won't have much to write about!

Last day: the end of a parenting era

Thomas was out the door the morning as usual, but it was no usual morning.  It was the very last day of school for Thomas, and therefore the very last day Andrew and I would be parents of a school student.  Oh my goodness, it has gone so incredibly fast.  My heart hurts a little, but I'm so incredibly grateful.  It definitely feels a little surreal.

We made it!

We made it through a whole bunch of things this week.  It was an incredibly long week.  My school put on a musical, and I worked over 40 hours in the process.  Everyone was just drained getting through today, but we finally made it to the end of the day, and we had made it through musical week!

We also had our final band concert this week, at least that we could watch.  Thomas will perform tomorrow at a music festival but we won't be there.  This week's performance was the steel band that he joined this year.  They held an outdoor performance at the Community Arts Center, and the weather could not have been more perfect.  It was truly a lovely way to begin our week.  We have officially made it through being band parents!

Tuesday was Thomas's final tennis match.  We didn't get to see a whole bunch of matches this year, but this particular match took forever.  The weather was still lovely though, and we've made it through tennis season!

Today Andrew's baseball team had a tournament game.  We were fairly certain it was not going to come out in our favor.  To be honest, I was kind of hoping that it was bad enough that it would be over in five innings.  They ended up losing by the run rule amount, but it still took seven innings to get it done.  I am not at all sad that baseball season is coming to an end and we made it through the season!

Other things are ending as well.  Tonight is Thomas's very last shift at his very first job.  He'll be off work for two weeks before the job starts at the city pool for the summer.  The university pool has been a good first job for him.  The college students are leaving town as the academic year is drawing to a close.  We've made it through another school year in that regard.

And of course, we are about to have a very, very big "last".  On Monday, it will be Thomas's last day of school.  The last day I ever have a child in a k-12 setting.  Oh my goodness, it's so hard to believe it's here.  Because Thomas had delays, he started school as soon as he turned three.  That means he had 12 years of school, plus Kindergarten, plus 2.5 years of preschool.  I remember when we learned that Thomas was going to qualify for the preschool at that time.  We realized he would be in school for 15.5 years, and that seemed as though it was forever.  Yet, here we are with just one day left.  It all happened so fast, in the blink of an eye!

Wish this snow would amount to something

I am sitting here watching the flurries fall.  Sadly, they are absolutely nothing more than flurries.  We all NEED the snow to accumulate to something.  Our teachers are wound and need some down time.  Our students need some down time.  The administration needs some down time.  We are all hanging in there, but everything needs a surprise day off.  We take pride in being open, but we are exhausted.  Sadly, nothing in the forecast, nothing at all, is going to get us that day off.  I can wish though!

Shut down

On Wednesdays, I am only working until about 10:30 or 11 most weeks.  I appreciate having a little more time at home, especially when school is in session because it is quiet time for me.  Anyway, because I am only working short days on Wednesday, I was in the grocery when I got the text that the public schools would be closed for the next two days.  There is just too much staff out to be able to run the buildings safely.  The private school at which I work probably won't need to close at all during all of this, so I'll still be working the next two days.  I haven't heard about extra-curricular activities.  My biggest concern is that Friday night is supposed to be Senior recognition.  I wished it had been done earlier in the year, but it wasn't, so I'm hoping it can still be done Friday!  I'm also hoping Andrew and Thomas can go back to school on Monday!

Acceptance

In the mail today arrived the news Thomas had been waiting for...he'd been waiting for weeks.  He was accepted to Wright St.  He had visited in July.  It's about 90 minutes from home, and right now it is his first choice.  He was also accepted to Bowling Green, which is about three hours away.  He says he would prefer to be closer to home.  I would like to visit both of them again so he can make sure that is how he feels.

I also have to mention that Thomas had an amazing first quarter of his senior year.  In seven classes, he had six A's and one B.  It is the best quarter of schooling that he has ever had.  We are so very proud of him!  The disappointing part is that there is still no Honor Roll breakfast because of COVID, but Andrew plans to take him out to breakfast tomorrow.  We are so proud of Thomas!

The end of the first week

 We made it through this week.  I'll be honest, I am more exhausted then I thought I would be.  There was a lot of stress outside of work that made the week crazier than anticipated, but we made it.  It's amazing how, no matter what the week has been like, there is just something about the fact that it is Friday that can really "pick you up".

It sounds as though Andrew and Thomas had a good week as well.  Catherine came home Wednesday for a dental appointment so our family went out to dinner that evening.  I loved sitting there laughing and sharing stories of our day.  Catherine doesn't start classes until Monday, but she started her job this week, so we all had new beginnings!  The evening made my heart so incredibly full!

Thomas is at the football game this evening with the pep band.  Andrew and I are having a quick dinner and then cleaning for some guests coming over tomorrow.  The students have arrived back in town, and the new year is underway!

Out the door for the last first day

Thomas just walked out the door to leave for school...his senior year.  This is his last first day of school, and therefore it is the last first day of school for any kiddo in this house.  I don't really understand how that is even possible.  There wasn't much fanfare this morning...a quick pic or two.  Even now, it is different with only him, and with him being mostly responsible.  My most vivid memories of first days are from our former town.  So many vivid memories of school starting.  This is my third "first day" when I've been working, but the first when I wasn't in a classroom.

This coming year will be full of so many transitions.  Andrew and I will most likely be adjusting to empty nesting at this time next year.   We will almost certainly lose Andrew's father during this school year, and at age 90 and with some health issues developing, there is a possibility of losing my grandmother as well.  This year will fly by.  There will be laughs, there will be tears.  There will be exhaustion and renewal.  I'm so grateful for the life I'm living that is full of so many blessings with such special people.

Monday emotions

When Catherine got her new job last week and was scheduled to work tomorrow morning, it suddenly became obvious that she needed to go back to school today instead of later in the week.  Ultimately, I guess I'm glad it was more of a "rip off the bandaid" rather than being sad about it coming up all week.  She will be back for dinner Wednesday to celebrate our first day of school.  We sure did loving having her around.  My heart hurt when I saw her location on my app.  I know it's a good thing and time moves on, but oh goodness, I love having my girl around.  I have some guilt that we didn't do lots of fun things this summer and I can't help but feel it is my fault because I was working.  She would often be off to work as I was coming home, so we didn't get to do lots of family activities that I would normally enjoy each summer.

My youngest starts his senior year in less than 36 hours.  I can't even begin to fathom how this happened so fast.  I'm so proud of the young man he is becoming.  I'm just not ready to be finished with parenting kids 24/7, yet here we are.  A classmate of mine just became a grandmother.  It's so hard for me to believe that is the phase of life we are entering.

We also made a decision about my grandmother's car.  We had been planning to buy it from her, but my sister and I hadn't made any final arrangements yet.  My aunt's car died, and I felt it was the right thing to offer it to her.  We still had the old car that Thomas was driving, but Thomas was so disappointed when I told him.  I hate disappointing my kids, but I did feel it was the right thing.  We all have so many things that tie us to my grandmother, and we don't need the car.

Today was also the day that I attended my final Open House as a parent.  As I drove into the high school parking lot, I began to cry.  I'm grateful for my job, but my heart is still at that school.  I miss subbing and being with all of the kids.  The hard part to accept is that I could be doing office work and applied for jobs at the school, but it just didn't work out that way.  I know I'm so blessed to have what I have, but I also know it's okay to be sad at the same time.

So many emotions on this Monday in the middle of August.  So much going on this week as well...going to need to unwind this weekend!

The middle of August

Today is essentially the middle of the August...often my least favorite month.  So much sadness has occurred in the past Augusts.  When August 13th falls on Friday, I get particularly nervous, and this year was no exception.  I had a doctor appointment that I was afraid was going to have bad news, but I am grateful it worked out well.  I'm also learning to navigate the fact that Thomas has a social life and sometimes that means driving home from a friend's house in the dark.  I'm learning to relax a little though, and I've always said there is nothing like having teenagers to keep one's prayer life going strong.

Here we are...school starts this week.  It's going to be pretty busy, but I think for the most part we are ready for the new routine.  What I truly can't believe is that this is our final year of parenting a child in school.  This is our last go round as parents of a high school student.  This just seems so, so hard to believe.  We've had a child in school for over 15 years...and this is the end.  As I've done before, I plan to soak up everything I can about it.  So many, many changes are on the horizon in our lives!

We made it

EDIT:  I wrote this two days ago, but forgot to hit publish...indicative of how crazy life has been!

We made it through this school year.  It was a year unlike any other, although the end of beginning to show a return to normalcy.  Right now, I'm watching graduation.  It is being held on the football field with limited guests.  I'm glad for all of them that they get to have this, and I'm very grateful the weather cooperated for them.

The last couple of weeks have been so rough for me.  I'm going to sound whiny and spoiled here, but never in my life as a mother have I had to work for seven consecutive weeks without a day off, and it occurred while Andrew was coaching baseball and Thomas was playing tennis.  It was also while things were exploding with my grandmother, so there was just really a LOT going on in life.

Not only was our family adjusting to me being full time, but of course, we have been in the middle of a pandemic!  For Andrew and Thomas, that meant school online, then school in-person, then online, and never on Wednesday (unless it was finals week), and snow days may not really be snow days, and teaching to students at home even when school is in-person.  Nothing about it was normal or easy.  For Catherine it meant almost no in-person classes, and as a beginning college student, that meant virtually no socializing. This year was just tough, and not just for our family, but for everyone.

It seems so hard to believe that our "baby" is going to be a senior.  Oh my goodness, I have no idea how we got here so fast.  That is next year though, and for now I'm just grateful that our family successfully made it through this year!

Emotions and feelings and long weeks and we just need to be finished

I can't believe it isn't yet Friday.  I am beyond exhausted, and I am completely drained.  I'll be spending the next week helping my sister and aunt make some decisions about the next stage of my grandmother's life.  Every thought about it brings tears.  Not only is she my last surviving grandparent, but she is a link to my dad.  It makes me emotional.

Today, I sat with a young student who just cried and cried because her teacher told the class that she (the teacher) was moving on to a new school next year.  Because we are a Montessori school where multiple grades are in one class and this particular teacher had changed assignments at school, Ruth had always been in a class with the teacher.  The fact that the teacher was leaving was so heartbreaking to Ruth.  I sat with her on the bench waiting for her dad to arrive.  I rubbed her back and put my arm around her.  Given my emotional state, I was fighting tears myself.  Her heartbreak broke my heart.

I've also sat with Thomas tonight as his heart broke over the vehicle.  The car we purchased for the kids 4-1/2 years ago might be kaput.  Thomas is so, so upset about it.  Andrew thought he had lost his mind, but I get it.  I get him.  Our hearts get us attached to things, and I know it doesn't make sense, but it happens.

We need to be finished with this week, and we so need to be finished with this school year.  EVERYTHING about this school year has been hard.  It was hard for Andrew and Thomas to begin the year remotely.  It was hard when school went in person, but Andrew was still teaching the remote students.  It was hard for Catherine to have her first year of college be almost completely online.  Not only was it hard for her to navigate her classes, but she couldn't meet people.  Although a blessing, it has been hard to navigate working full time for the first time as a parent.  Even though my children are almost completely grown, being a mom is still the most important job I'll ever have.  We need this school year to be finished.

Only about 18 hours until the weekend begins.  Fourteen school days left for me (although I will work all summer, it has more flexibility), fifteen for Thomas, and sixteen for Andrew.  We'll get there, and we'll all be okay.

Only a few more hours

In less than eight hours, this house will officially be on spring break!  While there are no guarantees that my school and the public school will have the same break each year, this year we do, and I'm so very grateful for that!  Our school has not students today, so I can go in about an hour later than normal (of course, I didn't let myself sleep an hour longer), and I suspect I can be home a little early as well.  Just a few more hours until we all get to enjoy a week off!

We really had no idea

As many do, I vividly remember one year ago today.  I was subbing for a math teacher that taught almost exclusively seniors.  We all knew the probability that the governor's 2:00 press conference was going to change our lives dramatically in an unprecedented manner was high.  They were worried about graduation and prom.  I assured them things would be fine, especially for graduation.  After all that was more than two months away!  We truly had no idea and did not understand what was really happening.  I remember being so incredibly impressed how well the students were handling the situation, and how they seemed to grasp that it was serious, even though we really didn't understand how serious it was.  We sat in Andrew's room after school and watched the press conference until we had to leave, and then listened to it in the car.  Such very vivid memories.

Like so many others, so many things changed that day.  It was stressful dealing with so much unknown, but I was so, so grateful that I had my amazing family to go through each day with me.  I loved how much togetherness we had, and while those early days were so scary, I appreciate the memories of our time together.  

It seems so incredibly unreal that it has been a year ago.  Three hundred and sixty five days ago we walked out of the high school.  Two days ago, I walked back in for the first time.  It was so wonderful, but yet made me a little sad.  Although I truly enjoy my new job, I still miss the people at school so much.  I miss getting to share part of my day with either Andrew or Thomas.  It felt like home, but still felt so strange.  It just doesn't seem possible that an entire year has gone by!

A little extra time again this morning

The public schools are closed here, and I have an extra two hours.  The problem though, is that the notification for my delay came after I had taken a shower, AND I couldn't fall back to sleep after the call came for my husband's school at 5.  So, I'm not getting paid for these hours, nor am I enjoying extra sleep.  It is what it is though, and we are now looking at the loveliness that is a four day weekend...as soon as I get through my day.

I did learn some sad news this morning.  A senior at our former school passed away from cancer yesterday.  Because he was not in the same grade as any of my kids, I didn't know him as well as I otherwise might have.  I did have him in class a few times though, and no child should ever have to suffer in such a way.  Nor should any parent ever have to watch their child do so.  It's sad news.

Daylight has arrived...time to be getting ready to head to school.