A year of marriage

Today, Thomas and Lyndi are celebrating their first year of marriage.  It's hard to believe it has been a year, and it's crazy to think that we put on a wedding the week prior to my craziest week at school.  Holy moly.

I am so grateful that Thomas found Lyndi, and I'm incredibly grateful that she puts up with him.  They are so, so young, and I worry about that, but they truly do love each other.  Thomas was a bit of a putz in the beginning of their relationship, but I couldn't be happier that these two have found each other.

They took a trip this week to celebrate since they never really had a honeymoon last year.  I hope they have many, many happy years together!

Today was a good day

I have to be honest, today was one of the calmest work days I've had all year.  In fact, probably THE calmest of this school year.  I was able to get things done that not only did I not have time to handle, I hadn't had the "bandwidth" to handle.  The temps are perfect and even though I was the only admin working, it was really just a lovely day at work.

It was also a great day for Thomas.  He had an issue that was resolved with the almost the best possible solution.  He also started a new job last week that he really enjoys, and Lyndi starts a new job next week.  And in other fabulous news, his car has been repaired and they get it back tomorrow and we get Andrew's car back.

Life certainly isn't perfect, but I will happily take the good days when they happen!

A lot has happened in two weeks

After I wrote on Labor Day, I received a phone call from Lyndi and she was crying.  They'd been in a car accident.  They were okay, but it was Lyndi's fault and I could hear Thomas screaming.  He's had a bit of PTSD since his accident five years ago.  We were over an hour away, but we made some phone calls, and some dear friends rushed to be with them.  Complicating life was the fact that the care was not drivable, leaving them with only the old 2001 that we don't trust for many distances.  It needs some work.  So after a week of that, we traded them so they could use Andrew's car and we are living with the Civic.

In the meantime, Lyndi took her driving test and we were so excited when she passed!  She really is a great driver.  However, because she is married she couldn't be on her parent's car insurance, and when our insurance found out they were married they had to go on their own policy.  So she isn't covered, which means she can't drive.  It's not overly convenient for them right now, but things will work out.

Last week was also crazy in that Andrew had to work almost every evening, and we were trying to get ready for the kids' party.  I am so grateful my MIL was here.  She made sure we had meals and helped with laundry.  We couldn't have made it through the week without her.

Work has been more insane than I can even explain.  These parents have lost their minds.  Their behavior has been astounding.  Today, a set of parents showed up swearing and yelling and making demands.  What is even happening with these people?  I have been spending literally HOURS in admin meetings trying to make backup plans for backup plans in case some teachers decide to leave because the parents are so awful.

There are also things going on at church and in other aspects of life, but overall we are hanging in there.  It won't last forever, and we are all healthy and hanging in there.  But wowza, life can settle in anytime now!

It's a beautiful start to September

Today is an absolutely gorgeous beginning to September.  Upper 70's, no humidity, not a cloud in the sky.  AND, a Monday off.  I don't think it gets any better.

August didn't end the way we would have like, with the Irish losing their first game of the season, and to the 'Canes.  But, Thomas was in the emergency room, which was far more relevant in life.  I'm happy to report he was discharged with severe dehydration, although I think it would be best if he kept an eye on things.  His system has always been a bit fragile.  I'm grateful for Lyndi, who takes such good care of him.  And I'm so grateful for my MIL and our relationship, as I have an amazing model for how to have a good relationship with Lyndi.  Nothing pulls at the heart strings though, like a kiddo not feeling well.

September is going to be a BUSY month, but I'm grateful for the opportunities in our life.  I won't lie, I've been a bit emotional about some things, but overall, life is good.

The wedding part III

The day of the wedding arrived and it was cold and wet, with lots of things to do.  Our dear, dear friend had a serious medical issue the week before the wedding and that added an extra layer of stress and emotion to the week.  She is doing okay and I was able to visit her in the hospital, but it definitely added to the craziness of the week.

We were exhausted heading into the weekend as it is a crazy time at work, and having to do all the setting up and arranging.  With it being at our school I pretty much had to handle most things, and that is why I hired one of my co-workers to be helpful.  Catherine was bridesmaid and was getting ready with the girls, and of course Thomas had all his buddies with him.  I was grateful that Andrew and I were actually able to get ready in a different building.  It gave us a few minutes of quiet, and I was so grateful that Emily co-worker) was there to handle things.  Andrew and I shared a few moments together, then we walked over to the wedding area.  Andrew and I took seats in the front row.  Our mothers were behind us, and we were joined by my sister and few good friends behind them.  Thomas's groomsmen consisted of his cousin Ryan, two friends I didn't know, Thomas's childhood friend Joseph, and our good friend Nick who is Thomas's godfather and was in our wedding all those years ago!

As we sat there waiting for the wedding to begin, I couldn't help but reflect on the craziness of the last couple of months.  In many ways, I was grateful that it all happened so quickly.  I'm a fairly sentimental person, and I know that I would have spent too much time being emotional about my "baby" getting married.  While I worry that Thomas and Lyndi are so young, I'm happy that they have each other.  I'm happy that overall they were reasonable about what kind of wedding they could afford.  And my happiness is generally what I felt, right up until Joseph, his childhood friend, walked down the aisle and Thomas and Joseph fistbumped each other.  These two have been friends since they were in Sunday School together at age four.  They were so close during the early elementary years...and then we moved.  And they stayed close...and here they were sharing this incredibly special moment.  That one little moment did me in, and the tears began to flow.  I got it together though, and enjoyed a lovely, albeit incredibly short ceremony.  We had dinner for about 40 of us at a local pizza restaurant where we could reserve a room.  I was happy to spend the dinner with Andrew's mom, our friends, and cousin Ryan.  My mom and sister didn't want to stay, and that made me a little sad, but it is what it is.

Ryan had an early flight so Andrew left at 5:45 for a trip to the airport.  Thomas and Lyndi came over around 11, and we had things to tear down and clean up at school and return to church.  It was nearly 4:00 before we were ready to just sit that day.  Andrew took the next day off work so he could meet his mom's neighbor for his mom's return trip.  I'm so grateful for the people who were there, and for those who helped out and have supported the kids.  I wish my family could be a little more on board, but I try really hard to put that behind me.  I'm also grateful that Lyndi takes such good care of Thomas, and they really, truly love each other.  I'm glad we get along with her, and I'm grateful she enjoys being a part of our family.  This is definitely ushering in a new era!

The wedding, Part II

In retrospect, I might have been better off suggesting a different date for the wedding, as this past week was the busiest week of the school year due to our school musical.  A weekend wedding followed by the longest week of the year leads to exhaustion.

Anyway, I've realized I need to come up with a blog name for my DIL.  I am going to call her Lyndi.  Thomas and Lyndi really are wonderful together, but they are so, so young.  Andrew and I have done our best to be there for them, and love them, and also stay out of their way.  It's all a fine line.

Back to the wedding!  We had decided my MIL would come for Easter and stay for the wedding.  I knew I would need her help in the week leading up to the ceremony.  Thomas couldn't take any time off work, and neither could I.  My MIL was helpful with getting Lyndi's dress pressed and helping to prepare meals, things I just couldn't do.  Because the wedding was at our school and there was a Friday evening event, we couldn't set up until Saturday and that meant no rehearsal.  We did borrow chairs from our church, so we were able to get those moved (although not placed until Saturday) on Friday.  Thomas had a cousin fly in from Vermont who was a groomsman and we were beginning to run out of room for people to sleep in our house so I was able to rent an Airbnb from a family at school for the weekend.  Lyndi did not want she and Thomas to see each other the day of the event, so that required a decent amount of logistical planning.  I hired a young co-worker from school to come and help with set-up and organizing.  Oh, and did I mention the weather?  Ten days before the event it looked absolutely gorgeous.  A bit chilly, but workable.  Then as it got closer, the rain chances increased, but still only in the morning.  Still workable.  And then as it got even closer, rain chances continued to increase and creep later into the day.  And finally, the day was basically just a complete washout.  And still a chilly one at that.

I'm so grateful for the amazing friends that the kids have.  They were so helpful in getting things ready.  I don't mean for this to sound like a complaint, but it is...Lyndi's family was not involved in any way at all.  They were very clear from the start that there would be no financial contribution, and I respected that completely.  But to not even be able to help set up chairs, or cut the veggies for the appetizers...well, that got to me a bit.  But finally the day arrived, and it was time.

My son is married

Thomas got married yesterday.  They've been engaged for awhile, but never set a date.  Then last summer, they wanted to get married in a matter of weeks.  We talked them into waiting until next Fall, but it became apparent they weren't going to be able to save to have the wedding they really wanted, and we could only help so much.  As we talked to them a few months ago, they decided to do a smaller ceremony sooner, and then a larger party in the fall.  My boss offered our school as a location for the desired outdoor ceremony and with a pavilion, it all fell into place for yesterday.

I'm exhausted, but I'l write more soon (as I can).  This is also why I haven't written much recently, and as we are headed into the busiest week of my school year I'm not sure how soon I'll be back, but I wanted to share the lovely news in our family!

So grateful for this quiet Monday

Today was a teacher work day at school.  I asked for the day off, and although I did a bit of work from home earlier, I'm so grateful for today.  For one thing, we lost that hour yesterday, so that always makes today feel harder.

I cried at church yesterday.  One of the hymns was the very first hymn from my friend's funeral just over a month ago.  It was too soon, and although I tried really hard, I cried.  I'll be honest, I haven't gotten over the loss of him, and I don't think I will anytime soon.  I can only imagine how his family and close friends are feeling.

I also have to mention that there was another saga involving Thomas's car last week.  This poor kid, he was really taken when he purchased this car.  And Andrew was there too.  There were no red flags at the time of purchase, but we sure have learned to ask better questions.  We are helping him as we can.  That's what parents are for.

Today is such a beautiful day.  The sky is bright blue, and the temps are in the 60's.  Absolutely wonderful.  I have enjoyed having our sweet cat, Maudie, curled up with me.  I've been sitting in our back room which looks out into the woods, and the squirrels have really been active.  I am so, so grateful for such a peaceful day.

A weekend in the middle of November

A week from today we will have celebrated our Thanksgiving.  We are doing it early for a variety of reasons, and we are thrilled about it.  We still have a week of work though.

Andrew is at his mom's this weekend.  He had tickets to the Steelers game, and WOW!  What a game to get to see!  It was a huge victory over the Ravens.  A friend of his flew in from LA to go to the game with him.  He'll be back tomorrow, and he is bringing his mom with him for eleven days.  I'm so thrilled to have her here!

Thomas spent a lot of time here this weekend, and it was wonderful and different all at the same time.  It was wonderful in that he was here for about seven hours today.  With him living with his girlfriend, I had wondered if I'd ever have time with just him again.  I loved having him here.  At the same time, it was different.  He admitted it felt a little strange that he doesn't have a room here anymore where he can hang out.  I've assured him he is always welcome to be here anytime at all that he wants to be, and he can sleep here if he wants.

It feels so strange to be heading into the end of the year.  It really doesn't feel like it's been that long since we did Thanksgiving and Christmas last year.  I can't say that I'll say 2024 has been my favorite year, but I'm grateful to be here and living it.

He's still my little guy

Thomas called me yesterday after getting a text from Catherine.  She just told him they were taking Lincoln to the vet.  He called me right away and wanted to know if Lincoln was okay.  I explained the situation, and he got really quiet.  We talked about how glad we were he would be reunited with our cats who had gone before him, and especially Rosie.  I was getting choked up and we were both at work, so it was a short conversation.

Thomas texted later in the evening and asked if they could come over.  Of course we said yes!  When they walked in, I walked over for a hug, and my "little guy" hugged me and clung to me for a bit.  I know he is all grown up and living on his own (and isn't really little), but my little guy was sad about the passing of our cat and needed a hug from his mom.

I love this phase of our life.  I love the life my husband and I have together, and I'm grateful for the family we've created.  And I'm so, so grateful my little guy still needed his mom.

A new phase

Tonight, Thomas is sleeping in his new apartment for the very first time.  Last evening he FaceTimed us after he had gotten the keys and gave us a quick tour.  I think he is sleeping on an air mattress and living out of his suitcase, but still he's sleeping there tonight.  I'm excited him, but it still made my heart happy to hear him say he'd be "home" this weekend to spend some more time packing things in his room.  I know we will see him lots, and he's already been off to college for a year, but this is certainly more permanent.

Yesterday was also the day that Joey Votto retired.  I won't lie, it made me a little sad, but I'm glad he went out on his own terms.  We were at his last home game last year, and it was so very special.  I didn't realize it was also the game where he had his last Major League hit.  I am so, so grateful for all of the memories he helped to create for my family, including last year's game.  He was a great role model for kids, and I hope that his days in the public eye aren't yet over.

Life brings changes, but I'm grateful to be a part of them!

A first day we will remember

Today, both Andrew and I had students for the first day of school.  I was exhausted and drained by 9am, but I am glad that the students have returned.  I was also ready to leave by 2, but that wasn't an option today.  I'm gonna miss those summer hours, but I'll enjoy the school-year paychecks.

My little neighbor attends our preschool, and oh she makes me laugh.  My favorite part of the day was walking over and visiting the preschool classroom.  The little ones are so cute.

The best part of the day happened after school though.  Thomas was approved for renting his own apartment.  He'll be living about an hour away, but it's near all of our friends so I'm not worried.  This is a move he really NEEDED to make, as his job requires him being there between 5 & 5:30am, and it's over an hour drive from our house.  I'm excited for him, and although I know this is a big end of an era, I'm really proud of him.  When he found out he was approved, he ran into the kitchen and grabbed me in a big hug.  It makes my heart full!  I'll always remember this special part of today! 

This has been a rough day

Today was one of those Wednesdays where I knew I would be working all day.  The Head of School was out which also meant I would be doing a VERY wet carline.  My co-worker and I sat down shortly after carline to begin a meeting about some HR issues, when suddenly there was a knock at the door, and my heart sank as my teary-eyed, 20-year-old son walked in.  I asked what he was doing there, and he informed me he had just been fired.  Oh my goodness, my heart absolutely broke for my sweet son.  He really, really liked his job, but the manager had left about a month ago, and Thomas hadn't really gelled with the guy who was the supervisor.  The manager had really gone to bat for Thomas on several occasions, but that was no longer a level of protection Thomas had without the store manager.  Did Thomas make mistakes?  Of course he did.  He's 19/20 while working there, and is not only new to the industry, but is working his first full time job.  His dismissal "cause" was given that he didn't complete his tasks.  For example, there was a time when hoses were frozen and he couldn't do what he had been asked to do.  He let the supervisor know verbally, but of course, there is no documentation/paper trail.  If my child perfect, was he a perfect worker?  Of course not.  But he always showed up to each shift 20 minutes early, never called off, and seemed to have a good rapport with his co-workers and customers.

My co-workers were wonderful and gave me as much time as I needed with Thomas.  It was such a blessing that the timing of this happened to coincide with Andrew having a plan period, so I was able to call him and put him on speaker phone.  We both told Thomas how proud we are of him for getting a job right after his classes finished and for how hard he worked.  My heart broke for my son, but I was so grateful that we have the relationship we do and that he knew he could go to his mom at a time like that.  I also pointed out to him how proud I am that he didn't go into debt with big dollar signs.  He has lost this job and it stinks, but he's not on the hook for a car payment or anything major.

Later in the day, Thomas received a phone call about the car he purchased the day his job started.  Andrew had gone with him to handle everything, but a month ago it had started making a strange noise.  We had it towed to a dealership because it is still under warranty.  Sure enough though, they are trying to claim neglect on the part of Thomas, which is crazy because he had the vehicle only 60 days before it stopped running right.  He is upset because they are telling him might be on the hook for a MAJOR repair, and he just lost his job.  We've assured him we are here to help, and that is what parents are for.  He didn't just buy a vehicle willy nilly and show up and surprise us.  He researched what he wanted, found a decent deal, and involved us in each step of the way.  Basically, his day has just completely sucked.  Did I mention his fish died also?

As I drove home from work to spend the evening with my kiddo, I really wanted to cry.  Andrew voiced it best when he called (he's working a basketball game this evening), we are so tired of seeing our kids struggle.  They struggled with classes and they've struggled to make friends.  There are times they have struggled with dating choices.  Maybe all parents feel this way, but it sure doesn't feel like it.  My co-worker told me we were so awesome as parents for guiding, and that our kids know they can come to us.  Honestly, it doesn't feel that way at all.  There are so many times it feels they just get dumped on, and I feel like an absolutely lousy parent.  I feel like I haven't helped them figure out how to be successful, and just when I think we are on the right road, a roadblock happens.  I know not every day is going to be rosy for my kids, and I know it isn't my job to fix everything for them.  I just love them so incredibly much and I want them to feel their lives are as blessed as mine has been.  As my mother says, tomorrow this will feel better, and I 100% believe it when I tell Thomas this will all work out.

So proud of Thomas

As I said, there were many good things that happened in November, and Thomas, especially, had good news!  He had taken his first CDL test in October but hadn't passed, which was expected.  He then took it again in early November, and was devastated when he didn't pass it then either.  While there is no limit on how many times it can be taken, it does cost $175 each time it happens.  He had really buckled down and had studied hard before taking it the third time.  I was really concerned because it was a miserably wet day.  I had checked the location app about 30 minutes after he began the test, and saw that he was still engaged so I took that as a good sign.  We were all incredibly thrilled and relieved when he let us know he was officially a CDL driver!

It was also interesting to learn why he had failed the two previous attempts.  He understood the second one as he knew he had done things out of order, but he had asked the tester about the first one.  The response he received was the same as a rumor he had heard.  The answer?  They automatically fail everyone the first time because they want to know it is being taken seriously.  While I understand the tremendous responsibility of being a CDL driver, at the cost of each test that seems a little underhanded!  Regardless, having him completed with the process was another gratitude at Thanksgiving!

It's been a big week for Thomas

I had really wanted to write earlier in the week, but this was a crazy week.  With the kids grown, I don't normally have weeks as busy as this one anymore, but sometimes it happens.

A week ago yesterday, Thomas finished his classes he is taking to receive his CDL.  Yesterday he finished the driving requirements and will take his test this coming week.  Because he is in the process of earning his CDL, he's been hired by the local lumberyard and hardware store in town.  His first day was Monday, and he is thrilled that he's working his first 40-hour week job.  We are so proud of him, and he really likes this job so far.  The evening of his very first day, Andrew took him to purchase his very first "real" car.  It's a nice one too!  He was able to afford a 2020 Chevy Malibu with about 40k miles on it.  He had always wanted (and still wants) a truck, but he realized that the insurance, and especially the gas mileage, would not be things he wanted to pay right now.  We are so proud of how Thomas is adulting these days!

End of the lifeguarding era

In March of 2021, Thomas took lifeguarding lessons.  We knew it would be a job he would enjoy, as that kid loves the pool.  For fourteen months, he worked at the local university.  He never had a lot of hours, and some of his shifts were a little ridiculous of just two hours or so.  Last summer, he started his job at the city pool, which was absolutely ideal.  He was leaving for school in the fall, but so were most of the kids, and the pool would be closing.  He worked a crazy number of hours, and in fact received an award for the most hours worked.  We were really proud of him, and he made a good deal of money for just eleven weeks of working.

Last school year, he worked as a lifeguard at the university he was attending.  To say that it was not a positive experience is a bit of an understatement.  They were so desperate for lifeguards that they scheduled him right after interviewing him.  While that seems great, it meant there was no orientation or training of the procedures and policies.  It began to feel like he was always doing things wrong, but he had never been told the "right" way to do things.  None of us were sad that his job came to an end when the school year did, and since he isn't returning to school, no one has to worry about that anymore.

He worked at the city pool again this summer.  He really loves working at the city pool, and what 19-year-old wouldn't?  I really wanted him to have this summer.  He didn't work nearly as many hours as he had last year, and there were even entire weeks where he wasn't scheduled at all.  He still really enjoyed it though, and was able to work right up until this past weekend when the pool closed for the season.  As he came home Sunday, he was officially "retired" as a lifeguard.  It could happen again, but not if things go according to his plan.  It was a great job for him in his teen years, and I'm so glad he enjoyed it.  For now though, it seems as though the lifeguarding is a thing of the past in this house.

There's been a lot going on

I know I've been pretty quiet through April.  There's been a lot going on, and it wasn't all good.  Now awful, but not all good.  My grandmother has had some health issues, and it's had a dramatic impact on how she lives.  It doesn't have to, but she has allowed it to do so.  Because she has begun to isolate herself, she is becoming more and more confused.  She qualified for Hospice Care, which we are very grateful for as it meant she didn't have to move.

My mom has also been having some health challenges.  There had been some issues with her kidneys, and after various test it was determined last week that she has a spot on one of her kidneys that is cancerous.  My mom has been obviously stressed by this, but she did receive good news this week.  We learned that she can have surgery (and there is no rush to do so), and that should take care of it.  I know she was tremendously relieved not to be facing rounds of treatments.  It made the fact that her appointment began 2-1/2 hours after it was supposed to happen worth the wait!

Thomas is officially home from college for the summer.  I picked him up yesterday.  I'm not going to lie, he has really, really struggled with college this year.  He has struggled academically, he has struggled socially, and he has struggled emotionally.  As a parent, it has been so hard to watch.  I can't fix things for him, and I shouldn't fix things.  All I can do is be here and let him know I love him, and of course pray.  Definitely lots of prayers.  Yesterday when he got home, he was so grateful that he was finished and home he brought out his stuff dogs.  Oh, that tugged at my heartstrings!  

There have been a few other things, but they are much less dramatic.  I know that May is going to be absolutely crazy, but I"m so excited about the summer that will be at the end! 

Sunday afternoon drives

I just took Thomas back to school.  He was home for spring break this past week, which was ridiculously early.  But I always love having time with him, and enjoyed having him around.

He's been home every weekend this semester except one.  With his cat not being there and the one friend he had ending communication (not entirely sure why), he is lonely.  It is heartbreaking for a mom, but I can't change it.

I also don't judge.  I went home every weekend (almost) my freshman year, and so I am not about to tell my son I won't do for him what was done for me.  I handle the Friday evening pickups, usually, and I've also handled about half of the Sunday afternoon returns as well.  And I really don't mind.  Today was a lovely day and I truly enjoyed the drive home completely by myself.  It's a nice opportunity to just have some quiet and sing along with the radio.  I remember my dad, who took me back to school nearly every Sunday, tell me he never minded those Sunday afternoon drives, and I get it.  Missing him today, but always feeling he is with us.  I'm blessed to have my family.

First college band concert

Thomas loves being involved in music, and we were thrilled that he wanted to participate in the concert band at college.  He was asked to switch from alto to tenor saxophone, and has taken that as a compliment as well.  Tonight was his first concert, and I'm so glad that we were able to be there.  This particular band is an eclectic group of people, and we are so glad that Thomas is enjoying it.  We've always told him that no matter what, music can be a part of his life! 

Another December has rolled around

Although the minutes at work often feel as though they are crawling slowly by, the days are zooming.  It's a busy month, and I'm trying to remember to do what needs to be done, and to be present in the moments.

Thomas called Tuesday evening and scared us to death with his intro of "So I did a thing..."  It turns out he bought a cat.  It was a three-year-old cat that needed to be re-homed.  Part of me couldn't believe it was happening, but then he explained he felt lonely (which was heartbreaking) and also that it reminded him of his late uncle's cat.  And then I completely understood.  My super sensitve, kind-hearted, emotional animal-lover of a son needed to buy this cat to "save" it, and to give himself a friend.  I 100% understood where this was coming from, and my heart broke even more.  He is so much like me in that regard, and because of that, when things make him emotional, I know just how he feels.

Yesterday I visited my grandmother.  It was a very nice visit and she was doing well.  My amazing grandmother is going to be 92 in a few weeks, and she still has her mind for the most part.  We are so incredibly blessed to have her in our lives.

I need to get to church and work tonight while Andrew has conferences, then tomorrow begins the weekend.  It will be crazy like everything else, but each day brings us closer to a few weeks off work!