Sunday morning protest and love

This morning Andrew and I attended a protest.  I'm not an activist by any stretch of the imagination, but this was a no brainer for me.  Southwest Ohio Catholics almost all have new priests this weekend, and the one coming to our community clearly does not understand the population he will now be serving.  We are a welcoming community, and staunchly support our neighbors and friends.  A co-worker organized a silent protest this morning so that the new priest could understand that.  Andrew and I went for over an hour, then we wanted to attend our church.  I could not have been more grateful for the welcoming message that came from our pastor this morning as well.  I was truly moved to tears, and I'm so grateful to have our pastor lead our congregation.

We went back to the protest after church, although it was beginning to wrap up.  There was so much love and support at this protest, I'm so so very grateful I could be a part of it.

We had church this morning

Our church decided to hold an outdoor service this morning.  How absolutely wonderful it was to gather with so many others from our congregation to share in the service together.  We have a large towering cross on the corner of our property, and I am so grateful that we had that as the cornerstone.  In addition, Andrew (church council President) was able to present our Pastor with a plaque and many gifts in honor of serving our congregation for twenty years.  This morning was such a blessing, and I'm so grateful for it as we head into a crazy week!

I miss going to church

Every week since church shut down in the middle of March, our Pastor has been sending an email showing the bulletin as it would've been printed, as well as a video of his sermon.  Today, Thomas even figured out how to mirror our computer so we can watch it on TV and not all squeeze together on the couch.  In times of crises, it is so difficult not to have the opportunity to share our faith with others during service, but I am so grateful that we live in the age of technology where we still have options.  I so look forward to the day when we can all go back to church.  I truly miss being in church!

Spring break is "over"

Spring break is "done" in our house.  I put it in quotes because of course, we aren't actually back in school.  Online learning is happening again, but we can still sleep in and work on things in our time.

It definitely isn't the break I would've chosen, but honestly, I can't complain.  The time together was fabulous.  On Wednesday, Catherine and I watched Steel Magnolias curled up in her room while Andrew and Thomas watched a movie around the bonfire.  We played euchre, Yahtzee, Sorry, and had wii bowling games.  We had dinner together EVERY evening.  We took some walks.  We cleaned out our garage, which also allowed our ping pong table to be used.  It isn't the break I would've chosen, but I can't complain about the break we had.  Last evening, our "family time" was church.  Our pastor sent out the readings and prayers, and then he recorded a message that we could watch at any time.  I truly miss church, and I'm so grateful that he took the time to find a way for us to make it happen in our homes.

So here we are, at another Monday.  The governor's original order would allow us to go back to school next week, but we all know that isn't happening.  I hate what is happening in our world, and I won't deny that I have some fear.  I am missing family members tremendously, and I especially hate that they can't see our kids.  I am worried, but I am grateful.  I am grateful for this time with my kids, and I pray for a safe and quick ending to all of this.

Several prayer requests

I am a huge believer in the power of prayer and good thoughts, and I have a few requests...

1) A friend lost her mother yesterday after a several year battle with cancer.  She lived longer than many with her particular form of cancer and while I am sure there is comfort that she is no longer suffering, only eight days before Christmas is a very tough time to lose a loved one.  Not that there is ever a good time, but there are particularly crappy times, and this is one of them.  Please pray for her family.

2) There is a young family in town whose son (only eight-years-old) had a leukemia relapse and had a bone marrow transplant around Thanksgiving.  He is doing well, but please pray for continued good news and healing.  While I am so grateful that things are going well, I can't even imagine the fear of his parents.

3) Our high school students have finals this week, and that means it is most certainly finals week in our home.  For Catherine I'm not overly concerned, although Math is always a challenging subject for her and that exam will be first thing tomorrow.  For Thomas, and many freshmen, it is not always completely understood how much just one 90 minute test can affect their semester grade.  Please pray for all of our students, specifically that they work hard and find the knowledge they need in their memory banks!

4) Lastly, please pray for safety for all who are traveling this holiday season!

Trying to be mindful

I am working on trying to be more mindful in life.  This is especially true of my health.  I am trying to be more mindful of what I am eating.  Instead of potato chips, a granola bar is a better option.  I know that water is better for me than pop, but I don't care for water at all.  I'm really trying, but most days water makes me want to gag.  When I go somewhere, I try to choose a parking spot that isn't the closest so I can walk more, and even at home, instead of asking someone to bring me something I try to get up and get it myself.  These are just small changes, but they are good changes.  Good changes are good, no matter how small.

I'm trying in other ways though too.  I'm trying to watch my tone when I speak to others, and I'm trying to be more present in everything I do.  I'm trying to have actions that aren't just sitting and staring at a TV screen (although plenty of that happens).  I'm trying to remember to be grateful, and I'm trying to remember to live my faith.  I'm trying to think, and I hope these changes can only bring good things!

Some tears in church

I hadn't meant to go so long between writing posts.  There has just been a lot going on, and I've been emotional about a lot of things.  I don't want to sound as though I'm complaining or to be a downer, so I just haven't written...and I've been busy.

Honestly, although I've been emotional, I fight against being so.  I don't want to sit around being weepy about the thought of my son leaving, because it really is a good thing.  Sometimes I've thought that I am not emotional enough because there has never once been the thought that I wish he wouldn't leave.  Joining the Navy is exactly what he needs to do for so many reasons.

This is the last Sunday Robert will be in church, and we asked our Pastor if he would include him in the weekly prayers.  Knowing Pastor as we do, we knew that he would want to do so, and I suspected he would even bring him to the altar for a bit of recognition.  I wasn't prepared however, for Pastor to begin crying and then ask us all to join him.  I was weeping as Pastor prayed over us all, and was pretty weepy through the rest of the service.  To be honest, it is the first time I have openly cried about Robert leaving, and I just wasn't prepared.

I'm so grateful for our church family.  I found a great deal of comfort in knowing that they are all praying not only for Robert's safety, but for our peace and comfort as well!

Confirmation Sunday

Today was the final Confirmation Sunday for our family.  Thomas was officially confirmed in the Lutheran Church today.  As the third child with his Confirmation squeezed between his D.C. trip and his brother's graduation, we didn't necessarily make as big a deal about it as the others.  Thomas's Godfather and wife came to church, and Thomas asked that they join Andrew and myself to stand at the altar with him.  My best friend, her husband and daughter also joined us at church but couldn't stay afterwards.  My mom, grandmothers, sister and aunt joined us at the house for lunch.  No one stayed long, and that was okay as well.

It was a special morning with five other students, and they are five fine young people.  There was one in particular that made us all emotional as Mary has suffered a great deal of health problems since she was a baby.  Seeing her participate, and her mother give her a kiss as she was assisted made me extremely emotional.  I am so grateful to be able to parent these kiddos, and for all the blessings we receive from them!

We serve in other ways

At the end of January, our church served a pot luck lunch that was to be a prelude to learning how to serve the church.  It is specifically for jobs that are related to during the service.  I've often felt selfish, but I've just never been thrilled to serve our church in those ways.  My husband is on church council, and we are both part of the Christian Ed committee, but we generally speaking do not volunteer in roles during the service itself.  Yesterday, I realized we are still doing our part, and we are doing okay.

Andrew went early during Sunday School in order to be the Sunday School volunteer.  I did it twice in January, and will do it again next weekend.  All three kids were in the basement putting together submarine sandwiches as a youth group fundraiser.  Thomas was going to work the powerpoint, but Andrew agreed to do it for him since he was needed for the sub assembly.  I was the adult nursery volunteer, but both teen girls were there so I just needed to check in and relieve them briefly so they could partake in Communion.  It's a good thing I was sitting near Andrew at power point because Pastor decided to install this year's church council members so I needed to keep the power point going in his absence.

I was laughing to Andrew later.  I try to be very good about not judging others, but sometimes I need to show that same patience and understanding with myself.  We may not be serving front and center at the altar, but we serve in other ways!

It went surprisingly fast

Today was the annual meeting at our church.  I'll be honest, I was pretty much dreading it.  Last year, I wasn't able to attend because I was working as a volunteer at the kids' swim meet, but the first two years I was there the meetings lasted a couple of hours.  Two years ago I remember I was the Sunday School volunteer, so after arriving at church by 9:00 that morning, I was pretty worn out when I finally got home at nearly 2:00.  My hope for today was to be home by 1:30, so I was stunned when the meeting ended at Noon.  It was such a pleasant surprise!

A little blown away

As a member of our church's Christian Ed committee, one of the things I have wanted to do is to increase service opportunities for our students, and for our church as a whole.  Andrew agrees entirely on this matter.  One of the things we decided to do was to adopt a family from our community who might not otherwise have Christmas.  I'll be honest, when it comes to this time of year, I will whip out my wallet for just about anything.  Our family is beyond blessed and I don't ever want to forget that.

Andrew connected with the school district's community liaison and our church adopted three families...one of which has six children.  I was a little concerned that we were responsible for Christmas for eleven children.  I had no reason to be worried.  Not only was every single request filled by our church members, there were at least two families who had wanted to participate and the tags were already gone.  I am blown away by how generous our church was in this situation, and I'm so grateful to be a part of our church community.

This time of year makes me so very emotional about things like this.  I grew up with Christmas being so incredibly magical, and I want to do everything possible to make sure other children have memories like that.  I also hope that I can remember to help spread that feeling throughout the year!

2017 Thankful post #3

I am so thankful for my faith.  I can't imagine where I would be or how I would handle things without it.  It is just such a comfort to me, and brings me peace in both good times and bad...but especially in the rough ones!  I'm grateful for the church we attend, and that Andrew and I have found a way to come together and share our faith with our kids.  My faith is truly a blessing!

Kind of like a dream come true

This morning I sat in church, feeling refreshed with the message, and with my husband and two of my children in the pew next to me (Robert was in the building but was helping to prepare for an event that was happening afterwards).  It suddenly dawned on me how my dreams had come true.

That seems a little dramatic, but it's really not overstating the situation.  When I was a teen, I attended church by myself.  It was a four block walk from my home, and I made the trip most Sundays.  I often sat with my best friend Kristen, and her sister Becca.  Their mom was singing in the choir, and their father was the pastor.  I would look around at all of the families, and I would envision the day when I would be sitting in the pew with my own family.

Even after getting married, there seemed a few years when that dream still seemed so far away.  Today though, even though it has been this way for years, I really realized that young teenager's dream had come true.  I am so grateful to have these moments.  We are so blessed!

I love our church

This post could be alternately titled: "You never know how one decision will affect so many other things in life."

I can't help but think back to 4-1/2 years ago when Robert was finishing up his sixth grade year.  He decided he wanted to switch schools and come to school with his dad.  Because of that, we learned how fabulous the schools really were here and while we weren't unhappy with our old district, this district was far more amazing.  Once we found out how fabulous, we decided all the kids needed to be attending here and we moved.

Because we moved, it was an opportunity to find a church for our family.  My husband was willing to look outside the Catholic denomination so that we could all feel comfortable and attend church together.  We were so amazingly blessed to find our Lutheran church which has been such a fabulous fit for our family.

Because we found this church, two great things happened.  First, I was baptized and am able to participate as a full member.  That means so very much to me.  Secondly, I was able to have my part-time job there that works absolutely fabulously for us as a family.  It provides just a little bit of extra income, and even though it is year-round, it doesn't get in the way of our care-free summers.  It's been such a blessing.

Yesterday was one of the most fun things about attending our church.  It was the Christmas program put on by the youth of the church.  It is primarily for the younger members, but the include anyone up through high school who wishes to participate.  Thomas was the acolyte, and Catherine was an usher.  Robert did a reading and was also an usher.  Andrew was in charge of assisting with the ushers and greeters, and I was helping out with costumes.  I love that we know so many of the families, and it just truly fills my heart with joy that we are where we are supposed to be!

So grateful for our church

I can not put into words how grateful I am for our church...and all of it was made possible because Robert decided to switch schools for 7th grade.  It shows that you truly never know how big an impact any decision will make.

Because Robert decided to switch schools for 7th grade, we learned how truly fabulous these schools are...and we decided to move here so that all three kids could attend here.  When we made the move, it was an opportunity to church shop.  My husband was aware that I was not at all happy in our previous church or in that denomination as a whole.  He was willing to look around to see if he could find something that would work for our entire family as a whole...and that is how we came to find the church we are currently attending.  I LOVE our church!  I love that I am able to be a full member and to truly participate and be a part of the church.  I've been asked to be on the Religious Ed committee, and it's also the source of my very part-time job.  It is truly not a lot of money, but just a little bit of extra that will be very helpful.  It's also been a source of comfort as we've struggled with some of Robert's choices, and I appreciate that the pastor will sit and talk with us, and that he truly knows our family.

Yesterday was the annual congregational meeting at our church.  It was going to be contentious as the discussion of whether or not the church was going to allow our pastor to perform same sex marriages, both inside and outside the walls of the church, was to be voted on and decided at this meeting.  There was a great deal of discussion, and I found it to be as respectful a discussion as could possibly take place given such an emotionally charged topic.  As people talked, I was especially grateful to hear some of the older members express their desire for our church to be open and welcoming to everyone.  At the end of the day, we know we don't all agree, but the measure did pass by nearly a 5-1 margin.  I was so very grateful to be attending a church that is such a good fit for our family!

A prayer for parents

As I indicated in previous post, it's been a rough couple of weeks.  Yesterday I searched online for a prayer for parenting, and I couldn't find anything I liked so I decided to create my own.

Lord, thank you for the blessings that are our children.  Thank you for the joy and laughter they bring to our lives every day, and thank you for the opportunities we have each day to not only be a teacher to them, but to be taught by them.  Please help us to not only acknowledge their differences but to celebrate them.  Please help me to be the different parent that each child needs.  Please help me help each of them be the best they can be, and yet be humble.  Please help me show them each how to take pride in who they are, and yet not be vain.  I pray that they are each mentally and emotionally strong, and yet that they will show compassion and empathy in everything they do.  I pray that we, as a parents, will be strong enough to make the tough choices, yet always loving and patient.  I pray that our hearts be filled with peace and open to His guidance.  I pray that we all be forgiven for our mistakes.  May we always remember our many blessings, and be grateful for the new opportunities each day brings.

I am trying to keep this close to my heart!

Confirmation

Yesterday was Robert's confirmation.  After some very warm weather late last week, it was a cool and damp day...but that doesn't matter inside a church!  There were six students confirmed yesterday, and I was very pleased that Robert spoke with such poise.  We were joined at the church by Andrew's parents, Robert's godparents, and Thomas' godfather and fiance.  They came back to our house afterwards and my mother, sister, grandmother, and two aunts joined us as well.  We all really enjoyed visiting together.

Andrew's parents left after breakfast this morning.  We all came back and took a little nap.  While there are certainly things we need to accomplish, today we are allowing ourselves to enjoy the clean and quiet house!

Green for St. Patrick's Day

I've changed my blog background to green for St. Patrick's Day.  I don't particularly love it, so I'll probably change it very soon, but today is green day.  As the kids were getting dressed for church this morning, I noticed that none of them were wearing green.  I thought about reminding them, but ultimately there wasn't really time to change so I decided to just let it go.  Probably not the nicest decision as a mom, but it is what it is.

Sundays have become my quiet time in the mornings.  Andrew takes the kids to church and I stay home.  To be totally honest, it's a very tough situation for me.  I have come to realize that I have way too many differences in philosophy and beliefs to regularly attend the Catholic church with him.  I am filled with guilt over that fact, but every time I attend I feel either angry or beaten up, and neither is the way I wish to feel after church.  I completely and totally support Andrew being there, and while I am at times less than enthused with my children being raised this way, I made a commitment that they would be and I stand by that.  Don't get me wrong, the Catholic church stands for many, many wonderful things, and the things with which I disagree, for the most part, Andrew disagrees as well.  However, he tends not to take it "personally" as I apparently do.  I long to attend the Methodist church here in town, but I've never been good about attending church by myself.  In the meantime, in the solitude of my quiet Sunday mornings, I honestly feel more in touch with God and feel a greater sense of peace than I would by attending church where it just upsets me.  It's not an ideal situation, but it's one that works for us for now.

HT's First Communion

As we quickly approached HT's first communion, I commented that you could tell he wasn't our first.  When JR had his first communion, all three kids got new clothes, the reservations were made well in advance, and we gave lots of thought to his gift (which, four years later, I have no idea what it was).  Nine days before this one I was sitting with the mother of HT's best friend, who has three children the exact ages and genders as mine.  We were both commenting that the big event was only a few days away, and we basically hadn't given it the first thought.  I knew that both godparents, my in-laws, and two sets of family friends would be there, and that was about all the thought I had put into it.  After days of nagging, my husband finally made our lunch reservations and I knew that everyone had the clothes they needed.  JR and I went the Friday evening before (just about 38 hours prior!) to pick out HT's gift, and for the most part we decided on a small token and cash.  I spent about 45 minutes on Saturday evening trying to locate HTs' dress socks (seriously, this was cutting it a little close) and that was about the most effort I had put into it.  Then, this adorable little class of six second graders walked into Mass Sunday morning.  I had already taken pics of HT in his suit, and enjoyed seeing another of his friends, but seeing our friend Sophia did me in.  I've known her for so long, and seeing her dressed in the beautiful dress and veil put me over the edge.  There I sat bawling like a baby!  I'm sure many people thought I was emotional that my youngest was making this big first step, but reality was it was the others that made me so emotional.  That, and the fact that this really is such a great group of six kids and HT is good friends with almost all of them.  We were so grateful to share the day with so many good friends, who truly are like our family.

Changes

There are many, many possible changes in our future, and I haven't wanted to write about it because frankly, it has me feeling very unsettled.  And to be honest, it almost all involves my kids, and I just don't always like putting everything out there...but here goes.

It's been a pretty rough school year in some regards.  JR is in the class from, well, I'll say "heck", but you get my drift.  The average class size at our school is between 120 - 140 students.  JR's class has a whopping 196 students enrolled in the sixth grade.  And most of them seem to be rude, obnoxious, and disrespectful.  Because this class is so large, and is the only one this large, there are not enough textbooks for the kids, so they don't get one.  The district doesn't want to have to buy 60 extra books just for this one class, and our concern is that this is the way it will be for the rest of his schooling.  There has also been more than one physical altercation between JR and another student who has a history of being a trouble maker.  The last instance involved the other child being suspended from school for three days, but I'm just tired of all the crap that is happening at his grade level, and from comments others are making to me I am NOT the only one.  We have given serious consideration to pulling him out of our local district and enrolling him in the district where my husband teaches.  This is not without its own set of issues though, as it is a 45 minute drive.  That is fine on all the days that my husband is going, but what about sick days or other days when he isn't going to be going?  Now we've got to make TWO 45 minute trips...one to take him and one to pick him up.  At the price of gas these days, that's a financial issue that concerns me.  And there is also the fact that any friends he makes there will now live 45 minutes away...very difficult to be friends outside of the classroom.  However, we had already decided that we were pretty sure HT was not going to go to high school here and would probably go with my husband.  We have learned that our school district does not have the challenging high school curriculum which we would prefer for HT, and my husband's district has so many more options.  I also have family in the district where my husband teaches, so there would be help available on the days when we might not be able to be there right away.  And since both boys will probably go, JC is pretty sure that she'll want to go also.  Now of course, one might wonder why we don't just go ahead and put the house up for sale and move to my husband's district.  To start, it's further away from my parents, and with their health issues that is a big concern.  Not only do my parents have their own health issues, but my grandmothers are both still living, but in their 80's, and my aunt is having some health problems of her own.  My sister can't take care of everything on her own, and I don't want to be over an hour away from my home town.  In addition, my husband's district is a college town.  Great for education opportunities, not so swell for the "party environment".  I am way too aware of very poor choices that have been made by good kids...usually just because the frat house was so readily accessible.  It also happens to be the same place I went to college, and I ALWAYS said I never wanted my kids to live in that environment.  We've also contemplated moving closer to the district, but not actually be "in" the district.  But I've pointed out to my husband that he has only two classes to go until he gets his principal's license, and maybe we should just wait and see if he gets a job somewhere that would appeal to us.  As you can see, lots of things up in the air right now!

And on top of that, we are considering changing churches.  Now, that may not sound like a big deal, but I don't just mean we are contemplating looking for a different Catholic church.  I've been very unhappy with the church for years, but I always promised my husband that I would do whatever he needed to help raise the kids Catholic.  And I've explained to him that I will continue to do so, but that instead of feeling refreshed in my faith and at peace when I leave Mass each week, I feel exactly the opposite.  It bothers him that I don't wish to be there, and he would prefer that we worship together as a family.  I feel absolutely awful that I can't seem to reconcile my feelings with those of the church we currently attend.  We both have a strong sense of faith, and to me that is the most important thing...that and sharing it with our children.  It will all work out exactly as it is supposed to be.