We made more awesome memories!

This was our "accidental trip" weekend, where I had thrown out a request to hang out in a group chat that included our friend in KC.  We were all checked into our motel in IL by mid-afternoon, and we headed out to begin our fun!  We hit two wineries, a Mexican restaurant, and a wine bar.  This morning we got up and had breakfast before we left.  We are so grateful that Catherine and her boyfriend (we'll call him Zeke) were willing to come and stay with Janey this weekend.  To say that we laughed is an understatement.  We also talked about our summer plans for our trip in July, and after about 15 suggestions and two hours of planning, we decided to stick to our original plan and stay with our friend.

I'm so glad that our friends enjoy these times as much as we do and are willing and able to share these weekends.  It was so wonderful to get away and not worry about being responsible for a bit.  And now, only one week until spring break!

A happy accident

Last weekend, I texted our good friends and asked if they were available the middle of March to have dinner.  It's been since early January that we were able to hang out.  No one responded, and I was just moving on with things.  Last night, our good friend pointed out that our dear friend in KC. MO was part of that group and jokingly suggested we meet in western IL for dinner.  She actually responded that she could do that, and we have three rooms booked for a night in the middle of March for dinner and hanging out on a Saturday night.  It will be about a four hour drive for us.  It will be so great to hang out together, even if only for about 18 hours!  What a blessing, and what an wonderfully happy accident!

Last trip of the summer

This past weekend we took our final trip of the summer.  Yesterday was also my final day off for the season, but we still aren't working full days.  Yes folks, the new school year is nearly upon us.

I had originally taken these days off to have a nice long weekend at home.  Plans changed though.  Friends from California were going to be in Pittsburgh so that meant traveling over on Friday, and then my mom had a medical appointment on Monday and I told her I would take her, then we had lunch with my daughter-in-law, so needless to say, not nearly as many things got done as I had hoped.  But that is life!

Anyway, it was a nice visit in PA.  We got in Friday for an awesome dinner with my mother-in-law.  Saturday I was able to sleep in until almost 10.  We had plans in the city, and we had such a great time seeing so many people we hadn't seen in quite a while.  In fact, in my case it had been years since I had seen them.  It was so hot though, and even in the a/c, it was so crowded that it was really warm.  I was grateful that by early evening we were back at his mom's house and brought in a pizza for dinner.  We watched a cheesy Christmas movie, and I really enjoyed having the opportunity to visit.

Two weeks from today we will be getting ready for the first day of students the next day.  The summer always goes so quickly, but I love my job...and I'm soooo ready for cooler weather that the fall will (hopefully) bring!

KC, Mo

We decided back in April that we would make a trip to visit our friend, Julie, in KC, Mo who lost her husband four years ago.  We've seen her several times since then, but it was her coming here, not us going there.  At dinner with our good friends one evening we were discussing the trip, and we decided to be there on the 4th just like we were when they first moved fifteen years ago.  By the time dinner was over, we had confirmed with Julie and made our hotel reservations.  I was just as excited about this trip as I was about our family vacation last month.

Our friend is a control freak and won't ever let anyone else drive.  So that was decided early on.  We left Thursday (7/3) morning, and the trip took FOREVER.  Part of it was our need to stop due to constantly hydrating, but part of it was the traffic was really heavy as well.  By the time we arrived, we had dinner with our friend and then tumbled into bed.

The next day, July 4th, was my favorite part of the entire trip.  We had breakfast at the hotel, then Julie came to pick us up for our day out.  First, we had to watch Nathan's hotdog eating contest because the guys are ridiculously obsessed.  Our first stop was to a distillery that we had visited together seven years ago.  We had the BEST strawberry cream concoction, and they even had the Reds game on for a bit while we were sitting there.  The next stop was into town where we had a lunch, visited a shop or two, and then found a little wine store where we could have a glass.  There was an 80's/90's trivia game, and our table took full advantage.  When we got back to the hotel, we just decided to order some appetizers for dinner and hang out in the bar, then we ventured to our room and watched fireworks on TV.  It was such a fun day.

Saturday took us to Julie's house where we spent the entire day.  She had moved since her husband passed away, so it was a new location.  We made a trip to the grocery to pick up supplies for an awesome dinner made by the guys, and again played lots of games and had some wine.  It really felt like old times hanging out.  We returned to the hotel and Julie joined us, where we stayed up well into the night playing card games.

Sunday was our last day of fun.  I had talked us all in to making sure we had three full days of fun and not returning home until Monday.  This was the day we went downtown to see some sights, and we also had an incredible meal.  Oh my goodness, I'm already looking forward to doing that again next year!  We drove around and saw some other sites before returning to the hotel and turning in for the night.  We met Julie for breakfast on Monday morning, then we were off on our way home.  I'm so grateful for the memories we made and for the friends with whom we made them!  We've already decided we are doing it again next year!

Delightfully unexpected company

This morning I received an email from a dear friend who was going to be passing through town.  We were able to rearrange things on our end and meet for dinner.  Catherine joined us as well, and we invited her boyfriend to come along also.  Thomas was disappointed he couldn't attend as he would have loved to introduce Lyndi.  It was a short evening, but absolutely delightful.

It was especially appreciated in the midst of this very long week.  As I told someone today, once I get through this week I should be fine.  Then I laughed, because I feel like I've been saying that for weeks now.  It was nice to have a break from work and enjoy company!

The smallest shoe graduated

I have a picture I took 16 years ago (coming up in early June).  It is a picture of ten pairs of shoes on our porch.  One pair belonged to Andrew, three pairs belonged to my kids, and the other six pair of shoes belonged to kids of good friends, and they were all at my house for the entire day as they were in need of a babysitter.  I remember it was a pretty crazy day, and I specifically remember realizing in amazement that lunch was going to have to be in shifts as we didn't have the capability to feed everyone at the same time.  I remember being a bit relieved when the day was over, but it is also a fabulous memory.

This weekend, the smallest pair of shoes graduated.  She is the last of our close group of friends, and we've been friends long enough that I remember when she was born.  She is a beautiful young lady with a fabulous sense of humor, and I adore her tremendously.  We sat and visited with her brother Saturday evening (who was the owner of a pair of shoes as well) as well as brother's girlfriend whom we had met before.  The daughters of other friends were there as well.  I was so grateful that I had seen these kiddos grow up, I was so grateful that I was still a part of their lives, and I'm so, so grateful for these friends that have become family.

This date

This date has some sad memories for me.  It was four years ago today that we lost our good friend, Tim.  It was so unexpected, and I'll never forget that day.  Five years ago today was a really rough day for our family.  I won't go into details for the privacy of my children, but it was a really, really hard day.  It was on this date 38 years ago today that my grandfather passed away.  Even though we knew that was coming, it too is a day I'll never forget.  Another memory is from 33 years ago today.  It was my senior year of high school, and our boys' basketball team was playing in the first round tournament game.  They'd won an incredible game two days earlier that went into double overtime that secured the league title.  It seemed as though the emotions and stress of that game caught up with them and they couldn't pull out the expected first round victory.  Thirty-three years later, I can still remember seeing my friend Ryan sitting on the bench as time expired.  I had never missed a home basketball game in which he played, and it all came to an end that evening.  That is not a memory I think of often, but it happened on a Sunday, and with Ryan gone, it feels a little sadder this year.

On the upside, today was a very nice day.  We ran some errands, and we had an impromptu dinner wtih friends.  Ready for another week!

I'm angry

Today, my sister and I drove three hours to attend the funeral of my friend, Ryan.  There were a lot of people I knew, and I'm so glad I went.  I don't think I would have ever felt it was real if I hadn't gone.  When his mom saw me, she said to me, "He wasn't supposed to do this to us, was he?"  I said he sure wasn't.  I was able to see and hug his brother and sister-in-law, and even his sister-in-law's parents.  So many hugs and memories.

As I sat there in this church hours away from my home, I just kept thinking that I couldn't believe I was sitting there at Ryan's funeral.  I couldn't believe I had finally made the trip down there, and it was for his funeral.  And then I was angry.  Ryan took his own life, and hundreds of people were sitting in a church paying respects to him, and we were hurting.  The lives of his wife, children, parents, and brother are never going to be the same.  I know he was hurting and I can't imagine what he was going through, but I can't help be angry.  And I'm angry at myself.  I'm so angry that I'll never get the chance to spend more time with him.  It's so awful.

I will always treasure the memories of our childhood and teenage friendship.  I will always be grateful that Ryan was a part of my life, and I'll be praying for him and his family.

I didn't take any of this Christmas for granted

This has been a really nice Christmas, and I don't take that for granted.  My heart was so full last night as I went to bed, and both Thomas and Catherine were sleeping here.   I loved it when T told me that Thomas really wanted to wake up here on Christmas morning.  It was so sweet.  We had a lovely morning exchanging gifts and getting ready before heading to my mom's this afternoon.  My sister and mom and a family friend joined us for lunch and then we all exchanged gifts.  By this time, I was fading as I've had a cold for a couple of days but had continued pushing through.  We gathered our things and headed home.

Yesterday was an even better day.  I went with our dear friend to pick up her oldest from the airport.  We went back to their house and joined our families together for a wonderful dinner.  I loved having all of kids together and I especially loved that the significant others have joined.  The food was good, but the company was even better.

It's been a truly wonderful couple of days filled with many people I love, and I don't take that for granted!

A great weekend for getting in the holiday spirit

This weekend has been wonderful.  It's been a fabulous way to get into the holiday spirit.  I only work three days this week, and I'm ready to get them over with and enjoy 18 days off.  I'll have things to do and some payroll to run, but it'll be greate to have some down time.

It started Friday.  Andrew and I decided to meet at a local restaurant that always has really festive holiday cocktails.  We decided to go ahead and have some dinner as well.  We came home and watched an "okay" Christmas movie.  I was in bed early and happy to sleep.

Yesterday I woke up early and couldn't sleep.  Andrew had to work at a basketball game during the day.  Once Andrew arrived home, we made the trip north and our first stop was to see my grandmother.  We took her a swag for her door, and it was lovely to visit with her for a bit.  Then we had an absolutely wonderful family Christmas at my cousin Mindy's house.  There were about 27 of us there all together, and that included two-year-old Reid, who was just adorable.  Thomas and his girlfriend brought her niece, and it was a blast to have her as well.  It was such a fun evening.

Today we had lunch and met some friends half way at one of our favorite restaurants.  We hadn't seen them since March.  It's a chilly and very wet day, but now that we are home the Steelers game is on and it's a lovely evening.

I'm so very grateful for this weekend.  It's really helped to get me into the spirit of the holidays!

It was a busy weekend but a lot fun

This past weekend I didn't get to watch much football, and I'm okay with that.  We did get to see OSU knock off Penn St, and that was fun.  Saturday evening we drove to my hometown to celebrate my cousin's 60th birthday.  It was a surprise for her, and in addition to friends, there were 16 family members there.  I'm also friends with the owners of the bar, and they came over to see us as well.  We were home by 10, and then we gained an hour overnight.  My kind of night!

Saturday was Remembrance Sunday at church, and I just couldn't stand the thought of dealing with all of my emotions and sitting there.  We had lunch plans with very dear friends and then we had dinner plans with Thomas and his girlfriend.  For various reasons, it was the third trip I'd made that week to his apartment.  Andrew and I both agreed as we were driving around the Dayton area, that we really missed being there.  We love our house and our yard, but miss that area.  

I only have twelve more working days until a week off for Thanksgiving, and I'm really looking forward to that!

Back to work tomorrow

My little mini 'staycation' is coming to an end and I'm back to work tomorrow.  The nice thing is that it will already be Thursday, and I'm not sure if there is any need for me to work Friday.  Even if I do...it's a two-day week!  And next week I'll only work four days before before the office closes for the July 4th week.  This is what I love about my job in the summer!!

The last six days have been wonderfully special, starting almost right after I got off Thursday.  We had won tickets to the Dayton Dragons in a silent auction and we took our dear friends with us.  There have been some issues I won't get into, but the love and compassion that they have shown us during a really rough time is indescribable.  We watched about half the game, then walked across the street for a beer.  Then we spent Friday evening at their house hanging out as well.  It was a great start to the time off!

Saturday I didn't leave my house at all.  I did some cleaning, and just really enjoyed a bit of down time.  Sunday we had planned on church, but I woke up not feeling well.  Sadly, three days later, I'm still not feeling great.  The kids were all here Sunday evening for dinner, and we are enjoying the beginning of that tradition.

Monday, Andrew and I decided to head north and make a quick visit to the Air Force Museum, then we drove even further north to meet up with my mom and several of my high school friends.  A very dear friend had flown in from California, and it was so incredibly great to spend the evening together.  It had been nine years since he'd been here, and that is entirely too long!

Yesterday was our one evening "away", but it's a bit comical.  Andrew and I won a night at an airbnb property in a different silent auction, but I'm not sure it was even two miles away from our home.  It was so needed though.  We drove out to the state park for dinner, then drove back to the place and watched the Reds game before I turned in fairly early.  It was a really great evening to just have to ourselves.

Today, my California friend drove to our town and we spent the afternoon just the two of us.  I was kind of ready to be just "done" with people, but I'm so glad that we took this afternoon together.  It was so very special.

During all of this week, we've been under a heat advisory and/or warning.  It's been in the 90's all week with indices over 100.  This is NOT my kind of weather, and I suspect that is why I haven't been feeling great.  Sadly, there is no break until Sunday when it will "only" be in the upper 80's, then next week we are back to all 90's again.  Not at all enjoyable.

I'm ready to get to back to work...and then enjoy another weekend!

It was a fun weekend to begin this summer

I'll be honest, this weekend felt longer than the 78ish hours that we had, and I'm so grateful.  Friday morning was a staff breakfast.  It was more fun than I thought it would be.  I worked for a bit over three hours, then I came home to begin my weekend.  Andrew and I attended a grad party in town, then drove up to attend the graduation of our best friends' youngest daughter.  I wouldn't have missed that for the world.  After graduation, we were all meeting together, when she took one look at us and began to cry.  Our connection is strong, and we've been through a lot.  We all went out to dinner, and then Saturday evening was the grad party.  It is always wonderful to spend time with our friends who are family.

Catherine was also here this weekend.  There are always tough moments with her as she attempts to navigate adulting, but overall this weekend it was really nice to have her around.  Our day yesterday was a wonderful family day.  We ordered some dinner in and then we played our new favorite family game.  Oh my goodness, the laughter...so much laughter!

Today both kids were off work, which isn't always going to be the case.  We decided to take advantage of the kids being around and went to visit my grandmother.  She was beyond delighted to have us all there.  My grandmother no longer gets out of bed and has been clear that she wants nothing to keep her alive longer than necessary.  Dinner this evening was with Thomas and his girlfriend, while I worked on school things.

Overall, it was really a lovely way to begin our summer.  I'm ready to enjoy the next eleven weeks!

I have to be honest

I have to be honest, this blog is really hard for me right now.  There are so many incredibly fun-filled family memories here, and while I treasure those memories, they hurt right now because that is not at all how life is currently.  I'm struggling on so many fronts.

A lot of this has to do with Catherine.  Her communications are infrequent, her visits are rare, and her choices are highly questionable.  She doesn't want our guidance and I totally get that.  She goes so far down the horrible rabbit hole, that by the time we find out, things are really, really hard,  It's frustrating for us all.  I'm struggling watching her high school classmates earn their college degrees, and although I'm so proud that she has some certifications and licenses, she can't seem to hold down a job.  It's a bit terrifying.  I miss having her around.  And of course, I acknowledge that the fact that I haven't seen or spoken to my oldest son (although Andrew has) in over five years adds to my emotions and fears about Catherine's actions.

Thomas is doing well, although he has struggles at his job as well.  He's a 20-year-old in a man's world.  He's doing fine and I'm so proud of him, and I'm grateful that his bosses are being patient with him.  He's planning to move closer to work to help eliminate his 65 minute commute.  I can't blame him as he has to be at work at 5AM.  It's hard to realize he'll be out on his own, but I'm so happy for him at the same time.  I don't love that he is planning for his girlfriend to move in with him, but I know I don't get to make that choice.  As I tell all my kids, life is so hard, and I just don't want them to make choices that make it even harder.

And then there is my extended family.  I miss what we had so, so much.  But my aunt & uncle, and some cousins, aren't the same people I thought they were back then.  And I'm struggling with other things in that regard as well.  I've received an invitation to an extended family member's baby shower.  I have to be honest, I detest showers.  Wedding showers, baby showers, all of them.  I'd be happy if we could just have a gathering and open gifts, but I don't enjoy the stupid little games that have to be played.  I appreciate the invitation and being included, and you'd think after writing about how much I miss family gatherings that I'd be thrilled.  I have to acknowledge though, that if the situation were reversed, they wouldn't be coming to our house.  They weren't around when any of my kids graduated, there has been no contact with my grandmother (their great-grandmother) since the pandemic, and I'm just not sure how to feel about that.  Additionally, I wanted to spend the day with Andrew driving around visiting the cemeteries like we used to do when I was younger.  It seems ridiculous that I would give up spending a day with living relatives to hang out at graves, but right now that is what seems peaceful.  And a peaceful feeling is definitely something that is missing from my life right now.

Next weekend we'll be attending the graduation for the "baby" of our friends.  And in fact, she was a baby when we started hanging out, and Jen was still pregnant with M when my kids started having Jen as a teacher.  It's so hard to believe this day is coming.  I'm so, so grateful that we get to be there.  We were there for her brothers special day, and although we couldn't attend her sister due to restrictions, we were honored to join in at the dinner following.

All of these emotional things are the reason I've stayed away.  While I'm grateful summer is arriving, we aren't taking a family vacation this year and I know that adds to my emotions as well...in years past that was always our opportunity to reconnect no matter what was happening, but not this year.  Additionally, my mother-in-law turned down our offer for her to visit here in a couple of weeks, which tells me this isn't a very fun place to be.

Andrew and I are headed up to my hometown to visit my grandmother in a bit.  He really wants to see her, but there is no guarantee she is going to be awake.  My sister was there twice yesterday and she was asleep both times.  Although it is warm (why does there not seem to be much spring anymore??) I'm looking forward to a lovely drive.

Twenty years post "Friends"

It was 20 years ago today that TV show ended.  I vividly remember that evening and watching that final episode.  Of course I had been a devoted fan throughout the ten years of the show.  I was sad that it was ending, and I remember sitting there sobbing.  I wasn't just crying at the end, I was sobbing.  I remember Andrew not being sure what was happening, and I remember explaining to him that because of my dad's illness, my emotional "cup" was always 90% full, so it didn't take much to push me over the edge, and that resulted in sobbing that night.  Not only was that show so awesome while it was on, I can't even begin to describe how much comfort that show has provided over rough times in the last 20 years.  I can watch that last episode now without any tears at all, probably because I know it will start all over again in reruns! 😊 

I'm so grateful to have had this show in my life.  Might sound crazy because it's just a TV show, but it's true!

How we spent our break

The last two weeks have been awesome in that I rarely had to wake to an alarm.  Sadly, it was not good sleeping most of the time.  Due to some scheduling snafus, I ran out of my maintenance medication.  Not being able to regulate my thyroid really took a toll.  I've been able to resume my medication for about a week now, and things are going slightly better.  I spent two days traveling to pick up my mother-in-law and she was here for nine days.  I enjoyed having her here, but it's also tough at times.  There was also drama with my mother and sister on Christmas, and that made the day particularly challenging.

As my children are adults, I understand that they won't be at each and every holiday event anymore.  I had hoped for a bit more of some compromising when it came to Thomas and his girlfriend, and that is also made some times challenging.  Andrew and I are struggling with having the young adults living here, but who want to live here as though they are still teens.  They need to be responsible and they need to pick up after themselves.  The attitude was bit much at some times.  Those are the drama we could do without.

The first Saturday of break was the extended family gathering.  Last year there were over 30 of us, this year there were only 16.  I was the only one from our house there, and that was the case with many others as well.  Hopefully next year there will be more able to make it.

There were good things, though, and I do want to remember those.  The Friday night before Christmas, Catherine arrived and was here for a week.  We had a lovely dinner with the five of us, and then drove around town through various neighborhoods looking at lights.  It was a fun evening.  We also had an evening where Thomas's girlfriend joined us for dinner, and then we played a fun trivia game.  We laughed a lot, and it was one of my favorite memories of the break.  I'm also really grateful that my mom made an effort to get us together with my cousin and her family.  I'm so glad the kids could have some time together.

We also had a lot of fun on New Year's Eve.  We stayed over at our friends' house, and we laughed so hard that my muscles still hurt today.  We really needed that evening.

In twelve hours I'll be back at work.  I'm ready for a routine again, but I'm not super excited about early morning wake up times.  I'm grateful for the opportunity to have a great year!

A really nice weekend in the middle of October

Fall has arrived, and I'm delighted.  We were off Friday, and I spent the day getting some errands accomplished.  I wanted to visit some shops in my home town, and the drive up was really very lovely.  I regret that Andrew and I didn't get to spend much time together, but he enjoyed his morning of frisbee golf.  I have to admit, I much prefer having Mondays off rather than Fridays, because a Friday always seems to fly by.

Yesterday, Andrew had to be at work early for the league cross country meet.  I enjoyed some football, especially the OSU victory, and we left for Dayton mid-afternoon to celebrate the 50th birthday of our good friend Pat.  It was a large group that included kids (and even a parent!) and it was so good to see everyone.  The best part was that our friend, Larry, was able to be there.  He had an emergency medical situation in August and was in a coma for nearly a week.  We are so grateful for his recovery, although not complete, and that we were able to see him yesterday.  We came home and enjoyed the ND victory over USC last evening.

Today has been a day of accomplishing things, and we are finishing by enjoying a quiet evening with a fire in the fire place and our candle lit.  I have a crazy week coming up, but knowing it is gorgeous weather makes it all better!

Thirty years ago today

It was on this date in 1993 that a very dear high school friend was diagnosed with leukemia.  I'll never forget receiving that phone call, and I'll never forget all of the emotions that happened in the next week before most of us returned to college.  To be honest, it bonded us in a way that is indescribable.  I'm so very grateful that my friend is still around and this day can be a celebration.  It seems so hard to believe that it's been 30 years though.  It definitely feels like a long time ago, but I just can't believe that I had year of college under my belt and it's been 30 years since it happened.  I feel old.

It was also on this date in 1996 that my family began to really understand that my dad was really, really sick.  He was around for another 17 years, and I'm so grateful for all the memories we made in that amount of time.

Andrew and I start with students this week on Wednesday.  This summer was amazingly fast, but I'm ready for another school year!

Summer weekends are fabulous

I really enjoyed this weekend.  The nicest thing about weekends in the summer is that Sundays aren't awful, because the weeks are lovely as well.  Our Friday evening was spent hanging out, and sadly, watching the Reds lose.  The Brewers have been rough on them.

Yesterday we did a few things around here, and then drove to our former town to spend the evening with friends.  Our dearest and closet friends were there, and I always appreciate the opportunity to get together.  We laugh so much, and these friends are so dear to us.  One has had a horrible year with some health issues, and after a couple of hospitalizations, I'm so grateful she can join us.

Today, Andrew, Thomas and I decided to drive a bit and visit some antique shops.  It was a shop that my parents and I visited frequently when I was a kid.  I hadn't been there in twenty years.  The last time I was there was Mother's Day of 2003, and my dad drove us over.  Lovely memories filled my heart today, and I enjoyed making a couple of more with Andrew and Thomas.  

It's been a fun weekend.  I"m so grateful.

The wedding unexpectedly got to me

Last evening Andrew and I attended a wedding.  I had really been looking forward to it as it was a colleague of Andrew's, and I knew it would have a lot of people I would know and hadn't seen in a while.  It was a really lovely ceremony.  I was thrilled to see that we had been assigned to sit with exactly the people I would have chosen if I had been allowed to choose.  This was a younger colleague who was also a grad of the district about ten years ago, so there were truly many people of all ages that we knew in attendance.

I found myself being a little emotional about seeing all of the other teachers.  Andrew has awesome co-workers.  Part of my heart will always be at that school.  I love my job though, and I'm very grateful that it is MY job.  I'm not just filling in for someone else.

The end really got to me though.  Andrew and I were chatting with a classmate of Robert, and this young man had also joined the Navy.  This young man had not had an easy childhood.  Although his mother is a very nice person, she'd had drug issues and has been incarcerated on more than one occasion.  He recently finished his enlistment and is back in town and helping to coach a couple of sports.  As we were leaving, we chatted, and Andrew and I reminded him that if he ever needed anything, we'd be happy to help.  I walked outside and began to cry.  I couldn't help but be sad and emotional about the person my son is.  He is my son, and he always will be, but I also know (and I do accept) that he doesn't want to be.

The emotions caught me off guard, but I didn't let it ruin what had been a really fun evening.  We have four weddings this year, and they always make me grateful for my own wedding twenty years ago!