Hoping to catch up

Today is a day that I really hope I can catch up.  Thomas has art class this morning, Robert works a 5+ hour shift at work, and Andrew will be taking Catherine and Thomas to visit a friend this evening...but I have NO WHERE I have to be!  And I'll even have some time by myself here.  This is going to be my day to make some serious progress on the craziness that has become our home.  I am ready to tackle the stacks of mail and dust bunnies that have accumulated over the last six weeks or so.

Yesterday I could've done so as well, but I did something I almost never do.  I had handed some things for the volunteer organization, then I ran to the nearby outlets to use a coupon I had for some Christmas presents.  As I was driving home, I could tell I really needed a nap.  I  had about 90 minutes until the kids got home, and decided to close my eyes for a bit.  Usually when this happens I only sleep for 15-20 minutes, but yesterday I slept for the entire time until my kids got home.  I was even dreaming!  I know that it was my body's way of telling me I needed it, and I'm so grateful I had the opportunity.

It's still early on this Saturday morning, and I'm looking forward to a day of productivity!

October in the rear view mirror

Normally, I love October.  It is traditionally my favorite month (doesn't everyone feel that way about their birthday month?).  It is always such a beautiful month, and this year has been no exception.  I have found a great deal of comfort in the changing leaves, and know that God has painted the scenery!  This year though, October was a tough month.  In addition to my brother-in-law's illness, the passing of my two great-aunts and the illness of our cat, we have continued to deal with teenage drama on nearly a daily basis.  It is draining and exhausting.  In addition, my volunteer "job" has been ridiculous.  I understand as a stay-at-home mom I am the parent with the most time available to get things done.  However, the assumptions that I will just take care of it is getting old.  I ended up being responsible for senior night even though I wanted no part of it.  However, it isn't fair to the seniors to let it go by the wayside.  I know that by handling it the assumption that I always will is going to continue, but it's just not fair to the kids.

Anyway, enough of my whining.  While it's been stressful, it's also been a beautiful month.  However, I am ready to move out of October and into November, and I continue to pray daily for peace and harmony in our home!

The sadness and craziness continued

Yesterday continued the sadness of last week.  The funeral of Aunt Margie was lovely.  There were so many funny stories about her.  She was one stubborn woman, and that led to some comedy in life.  I have really good memories of Aunt Margie, and although I hadn't been able to see her in the last several years, we always exchanged Christmas cards, and I'll just miss knowing she is around and hearing new stories.  My heart also ached for my grandmother as we buried her sister.  Grandma has now outlived her parents, her son, all of her siblings and their spouses, her husband, and all of his siblings and spouses.  The thing is though, at 84, she is still getting around fabulously.  She is just an amazing woman, and although much quieter than Aunt Margie, just as stubborn and strong willed.

We also thought we were going to have to put our cat down yesterday.  Before Andrew left to take him to the vet, I said my good-byes and told him I loved him.  Thomas and Catherine both wanted to go along, and as always, my little guy's tender heart made me tear up.  At the same time, his strength in wanting to be there if it was the end was inspiring.  I love my three kids more than I can even put into words.  Ultimately, it turns out that the vet thinks it is just an infection and put him on antibiotics, although at age 15 we are all realistic.

In between the sadness of two family funerals, we also had continued craziness.  Robert worked literally all day Sunday while the rest of us ventured north for the visitation.  Saturday Robert ran in the final race of the season, and while he didn't set a PR, he still did well considering the conditions.  We only had a half hour from the time we returned from the race until he had to be at the high school again for his band competition, and he was a tired young man.

During all of this, one of the greatest comforts was how gorgeous it is outside right now.  We are in peak conditions with the leaves, and driving through rural farmland gave us many opportunities to witness the beauty.  It brought such a sense of peace and comfort, and I couldn't help but feel God's presence in all of it.  The colors on the leaves are just astounding!  I'm even grateful I had to spend so much time on the road, as today and tomorrow is going to bring heavy wind and rains, so that will be the end of it.

I'm looking forward to what I hope will be something of a quieter week!

It's been a sad week

Overall, this has been a pretty sad week for our family, but everyone is hanging in there.  There has been some improvement with Andrew's brother, and we are grateful.  At the same time, it just seems as though he (and his parents) have suffered so much and to be honest, it's hard to want him to continue living the life he is living.  Aunt Margie passed away Wednesday morning.  We will be going for the visitation tomorrow and then I'll go back up Monday for the funeral.  I was able to make it to my hometown for the visitation of my classmate's father, and yesterday I spent with my family at my great-aunt Pat's funeral.  These great-aunts are both on my Dad's side of the family, so that makes the emotions even tougher as we are less than a month from the two year anniversary of his passing.  Family funerals (and weddings and other gatherings as well) tend to bring out the family drama, as my aunt (and these are her aunts) decided not to attend funerals, and there are hurt feelings over that.  We are also concerned about our cat Wally, as he seems to have developed a cough, and I'm concerned his time may be near as well.  To be honest, I've been praying all week that if it is his time to go, that the good Lord take him so we don't have to make that decision....although there isn't really a decision to be made.  We would never consider keeping him alive to suffer.

All-in-all, it's been a pretty emotional week.  I've been at school all day every day for Wednesday, and Thursday, and of course the rest of our daily/weekly activities have been occurring as well.  It wasn't until I arrived at the funeral yesterday (late of course, because I had to leave a meeting early just to get there when I did) that the enormity of my emotions of the week hit me, and I just began to cry.  I couldn't stop crying for a bit.  I realized in some ways I'd just been too busy to allow myself to be sad about all of it.

There are happy things too.  For instance, Robert runs this afternoon at the cross country district meet.  We know that he and our team are not competing for anything really, but we are proud that Robert has done so well this year!

Around our house these days

There is really nothing terribly new happening in our house these days.  Aung Margie is still with us, and my heart breaks for her and her daughters.  She hasn't been very alert since Friday morning, and loved ones just aren't supposed to suffer this way.  I also learned that a childhood neighbor and former classmate lost her dad unexpectedly this weekend.  I am hoping to get to my hometown for the visitation tomorrow, but we'll have to see how life works out.

As my children grow and mature in front of my eyes each day, I just can't help but be filled with prayer.  My biggest hope in life is that my children grow to be productive members of society, and I can only hope and pray that Andrew and I can guide them in that direction.  I suppose that seems dramatic, but it honestly is my greatest hope each day.

It's a crazy week for me in terms of my volunteer responsibilities, but I don't want to wish time away.  I want to remember to be grateful for each moment of every day.  It isn't going to come around again, and we are each only blessed with so many moments over the course of our lives.  Lately, that has been all much of a reminder.

Prayers for my brother-in-law

We got a phone call this evening that made my husband cry...and I can count on one hand the number of times I've seen that.  My brother-in-law is in intensive care with congestive heart failure (and probably pneumonia).  The dialysis that he is receiving is helping, but as a diabetic things just aren't good.  He has also lost what little was left of his vision.  Because my in-laws waited three days to call us, things are actually better this evening than they were on Thursday, so they don't feel there is a need for my husband to get over there.  We've also been told that my brother-in-law's dog is not well and probably won't be around when Tim returns home.  That dog has been the number one reason my brother-in-law looks forward to each trip home from the hospital, and it's making things even more emotional.  I do believe that Tim will get through this bout, but I also know that our family has seen this before.  I am sending up many prayers for Tim, and especially for my in-laws.  No parent should ever have to watch their child suffer like this.

He came back strong

Robert was officially allowed to return to cross country practice this past Monday.  Today was the league meet.  We knew that he would be allowed to run, but we weren't really sure what to expect in terms of results.  He hadn't participated in a meet in six weeks, and had lost over four weeks of practice.  We were at approximately the half way point of the race, and we were absolutely astounded to see that he was keeping pace with our team's #1 & #2 runners.  This isn't a race that we get to see much of the runners, and we parked ourselves at the finish line to see how it was going to end.  Our first three runners had come across and I was beginning to think that Robert had fallen off, when I turned around and there he was barreling towards the finish line.  He finished fourth on our team with a time of 19:21...cutting 38 seconds off his personal best!  We were so excited, and he was absolutely thrilled!  Next weekend our team runs at districts, and only the top seven runners from our team are allowed to participate.  We weren't sure if he would still be one of the top seven, but it definitely appears that he will.  We are very proud that he continued to attend practice where he was allowed to ride the bike and still do core work, and it obviously paid off!

RIP Aunt Pat

My great-aunt passed away this morning...but not the one we expected.  This was the widow of my grandmother's brother.  She had dementia and didn't know anyone for quite some time.  To be honest, I'm not sure the last time I had seen her, although I do know that she was at my wedding.  I have such fabulous memories of that side of the family.  To know that both great-aunts are going to pass within days is a bit to process.  Grateful for the blessing of family.

Transitioning

I learned this morning that Aunt Margie told her daughter that she couldn't see.  Hospice has informed the family that she is transitioning.  I'm so sad that my family has to see go through all of this.  Aunt Margie has always been one of the strongest women I've known (after all, she is my grandmother's sister!) and it doesn't surprise any of us that she is holding on so long here at the end.  At the same time, I've been sending up prayers that she go comfortably and peacefully.  It just makes me sad.

It made me smile

Yesterday I had to drive to my home town to make a delivery to a friend.  I decided to put in my Statler Bros. CD.  I am sure most people my age (and certainly younger) don't even know who they are, but I grew up listening to them non stop in my dad's car.  The song "Bed of Roses" came on and I couldn't help but smile at the memories.  And then I began to cry.  I miss that man so much, and I know that isn't going to change.  I also realized yesterday was the 14th of the month and my father passed away on November 14th, and the fact that it is the fall also brings back those memories.

It also doesn't help that my great-aunt is expected to pass away at any minute.  Actually, we weren't sure she would make it through last week, and then they were pretty sure she wouldn't make it through Monday night.  She's still here though, but I am praying for a peaceful passing and comfort for her daughters and grandchildren.  My heart breaks for my grandmother.  She has outlived her parents, husband, brother, and even her son.  When Aunt Margie passes her only immediate relative will be my aunt, and then my sister and me.  My grandmother is in fabulous shape for an 84-year-old woman, and I have every reason to believe she will be around for many years to come.  At the same time, it's all making me pretty emotional right now.

Playing catch up

I finally feel as though I'm starting to get a grasp on our lives again.  As ridiculous as it may seem, the computer situation really threw me for a loop.  I do pretty much everything on the computer, and while I'm grateful I didn't lose too many important things, moving everything around, and then moving again, while learning a new operating system was ridiculously time consuming.  Not to mention that my email decided to really go haywire and I'm the central source of communication for our booster organization.  AAGH!

In addition, I've been running kids here and there to various doctor appointments and follow ups.  I am VERY grateful that my kids are mostly healthy and these are just minor inconveniences...nothing life threatening.  My house, however, is beginning to look as though a  large windstorm came through and we haven't bothered to clean yet.  Part of that is also do to the fact that we are just tired and sometimes don't want to deal with the little things.

Overall, life is moving along just fine...and it's the beginning of a beautiful fall week!

It was a beautiful drive

Yesterday Robert had a cross country meet about 30 minutes away.  He isn't allowed to resume running with the team until Monday, but for team unity (and to see some folks from our former town) we decided to go as well.  Besides, I love watching cross country meets!  We had to leave right after the high school race because he had a band competition that afternoon.  I told my husband about the back roads we could take to get home, and he wasn't familiar.  We were so glad we took them though...what an absolutely gorgeous drive.  It was one of the most beautiful and serene 30 minute car ride I've ever had in my life.  Southwest Ohio is alive with fall color right now, and we were on back country roads full of trees, and along creeks.  Oh my goodness, it was more beautiful than I can describe!

We needed this day off

Today is the beginning of "fall break" for our school district and the local university.  It is only this one extra day, but oh goodness, it is absolutely wonderful!  Everyone in this house truly needed to get some sleep, and although Robert has to work today, everyone was able to sleep until 9:00.  In fact, I had taken NyQuil last night and slept a blissful 10+ hours.

I hate to complain because it is all "first world" problems, but it was a pretty stressful week.  Everything has turned out wonderfully, but everything has been a hassle...and some hassles occurred more than once.  I am so especially grateful for today and a chance to wind down!

It's just not funny

Today there was a general threat made against every high school in the county.  I learned about it by a one call our school made just before 8:00 this morning.  Even though it was a call letting us know that everything seemed to be fine, it made me absolutely sick to my stomach.  Not only is my oldest at the high school, but so is my husband.  Later I had some errands to run and was passing the high school in the next community over.  My cousin has a child at this high school, and seemed apparent to me that the complex had been evacuated.  I couldn't wait to get home and sure enough, the news confirmed my suspicions.  What is wrong with these people???  There is absolutely NOTHING funny or amusing about this.  We are dealing with people's lives here.  There has been a rash of these recently and I just don't understand.  I hope these people are caught, although frankly I can't even think of a suitable punishment for them.

Another new computer

We think, think, we might actually be up and running again with a computer that works!  My fabulous husband wasted no time when my desktop died last month in getting us a new one.  However, it never seemed to work quite right.  Many days I would just give up using it all together, especially if I needed the internet.  My husband finally called yesterday to the store where it had been purchased and they basically have a simple return policy...except that yesterday was the last day that policy was in place.  Fortunately, he was able to get down there and make the exchange, and (I'm almost afraid to say it out loud) everything seems to be working much better.  This is one hassle that I'm hoping is about to come to an end!

Life around here

I continue to find it difficult to write at times.  I  know that my children are entitled to their privacy, and their shenanigans are not for public viewing.  Because that is dominating life right now, it makes it hard to want to get on here and document for posterity.

We had a nice weekend though.  We met my mom & sister for dinner on Friday, then took off to visit my in-laws Saturday after Thomas's art class.  It was a very short visit, but my father-in-law turned 80 last week so we drove over to have dinner with them.  For the first time ever, my mother-in-law wept as we left.  Between my father-in-law's age and my brother-in-law's declining health, she knows their days of traveling to us will be rare, if ever.  Not to mention the toll that my brother-in-law's constant care is taking on them.  She feels that she is missing the kids grow up, and my husband felt sad and guilty as we took off.  We know that we can only do what we can do, but we've decided to look into some retirement and health facilities here to see if we can convince them to move here.  It doesn't hurt to try.

Other than that, life is moving along, and I pray every day for peace in my heart, and patience and strength to get through these teen years!