It's been a long draining week

I am so grateful that today is Friday.  It's been a long, draining week.  My emotions have been way out of whack.  I've been so emotional about so many things.  And we are all really, really tired.  This morning in fact, Thomas got up and started getting ready, then fell back to sleep.  Thank goodness tomorrow morning is a morning when we can all sleep in.

Yesterday was a particularly draining day.  I had agreed to sub in Kindergarten, which is always physically draining.  They were desperate for me to stay for the afternoon in 4th grade, and I agreed.  I needed to leave an hour early because of parent conferences, but they were just happy to have me however long they could.  There must have been something in the water, because it was CRAZY.  I had a student removed by the resource officer, another child sobbing about being called fat, and another who wrote an obscenity on a cabinet.  Yikes!  It makes me particularly happy to be back at the high school today!  Conferences were also a little rough, as Catherine is struggling.  Honestly, I know part of it is her age, and part of it is the beginning of the year.  She has never handled transitions well.  And of course, there is a massive transition looming in her life at the end of the school year.  As a parent, it's always hard to watch your kids struggle.  As I told Andrew last night, in one respect it is absolutely nothing compared to what Robert put us through.  At the same time, Catherine has always made very good choices when it comes to school, and I hate to see some not-great ones happening right now. 

Overall, it's just been an emotional few weeks.  It seems as though many share my feelings about the retirement of Marty Brennaman.  It's a connection to our childhoods, as well as something we shared with our parents and grandparents.  As ridiculous as it sounds, it almost feels like losing our loved ones all over again.  That's how dramatic it has felt this week.

Overall, we are all really ready for, and really looking forward to this weekend.  Andrew has to work tonight, but we should get a little bit of family time.  I will run a few errands, the kids will help with some things around the house, and then we can do a TV show or something.  Tomorrow we get to sleep in!!  The kids have a band competition in the afternoon, and a dear friend is visiting from out-of-state.  I haven't seen him in 14 months, and I am so excited he wants to come for a visit!  Sunday should be a quiet day, and I'm extremely grateful for a little bit of unscheduled time this weekend!

My sister made me cry this morning

Normally when my sister makes me cry, it's because of something awful she has done.  Not today though.  It's because she shared some thoughts and memories regarding the retirement of Marty Brennaman.  Like me, his voice is so closely tied to memories of our childhood, specifically involving our dad and grandparents.

I am sitting here, at not yet 7:30 in the morning, fighting tears.  Honestly, it's like losing a little part of my childhood.  He is also so closely connected to memories involving loved ones, and it is almost like losing those loved ones all over again.  I am really having a tough time with it.  Because it is an afternoon game, I won't be able to listen to the game today.  It is probably just as well.

I need a break from teenagers

I am very grateful I am working at the elementary tomorrow.  Honestly, I just about can't take teenagers anymore.  I can't take their whininess, or their complains, or their general attitudes.  This isn't just here either right now.  Catherine is in a phase and it isn't a very fun one.  I know that I am super tired right now, but I just don't understand how these students can behave the way they are behaving right now.

Part of my lack of patience right now is also my husband.  Last week I worked 37 hours.  That is pretty much full time by any standards...and that doesn't include all of the volunteer hours for band and church.  Yes, he is busy also, but I can't do everything I've done as a stay-at-home mom and still work this much.  Part of it is his personality.  He thinks things are just going to work out and he doesn't have to worry about it.  Often it does...but sometimes the only reason it does is because he is married to me, and I made sure it worked out.

I'm so, so tired, and I know that is playing into my negative attitude right now.  I'm so tired I really just want to cry.  We have another somewhat crazy evening, but hopefully there is a good night of sleep in my future!  Based on Andrew's snoring last night and the way the dog was sleeping it might be on the couch, but however it happens I need some sleep!

Reds baseball on radio will never be the same. Never

I was born in late October of 1973...meaning after the end of the Reds baseball season.  In April 1974, the Reds had a new voice in the radio booth...Marty Brennaman.  He joined Joe Nuxhall in the booth for their first season together, and it was the first of many.

As you might know, back when I was a child the Reds were not televised in every game.  If you wanted to follow along with the game (and we did) you listened to Marty and Joe on the radio.  I have vivid memories of summer days as a child, where my dad would be outside either working in the yard, or working on a vehicle, or doing some other project, and we would have the game on the radio.  These memories make me smile, and also bring a tear to my eye because I miss my dad so much.

Marty Brennaman and Joe Nuxhall were "Marty and Joe" from that first game in April 1974 until October 3, 2004 when Joe Nuxhall retired.  Folks, for the first 30 years of my life, I had only known "Marty and Joe" on the radio...literally my entire life at that point.  I was 31-years-old before I knew anything else.

And here we are fifteen years later.  Marty Brennaman announced his impending retirement prior to the season.  This is his last home stand, and he isn't traveling with the team to Pittsburgh this weekend, so these three games are it.  Honestly, I am sitting here fighting tears.  I am a die-hard Cincinnati Reds fan, and for FORTY-SIX years I've been able to listen to Marty Brennaman on the radio.  Announcers don't call games anymore like he does.  If something stinks, Marty tells it like it is.  I have no doubt part of my dedication to the Reds is because I got to listen to the talented duo when I was growing up.  I'm very, very grateful that part of the connection to my childhood has been maintained for so many year.  Reds baseball on the radio will never be the same.  Never.

Post #2500!

After nearly eleven years of blogging, this is post #2500.  I love, love, love that I have so many memories recorded here.  I am very grateful for this.

I've noticed, especially recently, that the general theme of my blog has changed since the beginning.  It makes sense though.  When this blog began, my youngest was in preschool, Catherine was in first grade and Robert was in third grade.  Now Thomas is a sophomore in high school who is about to drive, Catherine is a senior who will graduate in too few months, and Robert has achieved his dream of joining the Navy and is living his own life.  I no longer have little children at home, and they no longer provide "little kid comedic entertainment".  It certainly doesn't mean I don't have stories to share, it's just that they are different kinds of stories.  Many of my stories are now my thoughts, perspectives and feelings.  In many ways, I think that makes a lot of sense.  I am no longer spending my days filled with children who require so much of my attention.  I have a lot more time for my own thoughts and other things.

This particular change really kind of hit me Sunday morning at church.  For many years, all five of us filed into the pew together.  Then, Robert began attending more sporadically as he worked many Sundays once he got a job.  Eventually, he joined the Navy and we are officially a family of four (made even more official when the newest church directory came out and he wasn't listed with our family).  Shortly after he left, Catherine got a job and she now attends rarely, as Sunday is often the only day she can work.  It was just Thomas, Andrew and myself sitting there.  I couldn't help but think it won't be long until Catherine will be off at college, and then Thomas will begin a job, and the days of it just being Andrew and myself are coming along rapidly.  I miss the little people in my life, but I'm grateful for each phase!

We were impressed

One of the parts of Thomas's scrap business is that he often has to take things apart in order to be able to scrap whatever metal part is available.  Recently, my aunt & uncle had given him an old TV.  In the process of taking it apart, he decided to keep the speakers to see if he could use them for something else.  I noticed yesterday he was spending a great deal of time working on something, but wasn't sure what it was.  I appreciate that can he do this, and generally I don't have to worry about it.  After band last evening he was back at working at it again.  A little while later, he came out and had built himself some new speakers to use with his phone!  Andrew and I were tremendously impressed.  He then proceeded to give us an explanation about things "interfacing", and a bunch of other words we didn't understand.  Wow!

I love just working half days at the elementary

Today, I only worked a half day at the elementary building I enjoy.  I am so glad that I did.  It keeps me in touch with the little ones which I really do enjoy.  The nice thing about the elementary schedule is that I leave my house 90 minutes later than mornings when I am at the high school.  I love that I get a little bit of extra sleep on those days.  And I also love that by only working 1/2 day, I was home by 12:30.  It was awesome to have a little bit of quiet time just for me this afternoon.

Today is also the first day of fall.  The humidity has dropped today, and it's truly a lovely day.  Unfortunately it only last this week, but I will take it while I can!

Her first official college application

I got a little teary-eyed this morning as Catherine submitted her first official college application.  I then pulled up a picture I took of her on her last day of preschool.  I have no idea how the time between the day that picture was taken and today happened so fast.  I'll be honest, I got a little teary-eyed about the whole thing.  It's all so very real.

That would've been tough to explain to the insurance company

Although Andrew and I work in the same building, we do not drive together.  As a sub, my day generally ends the minute the last bell rings.  Officially, Andrew's day does as well, but often there is a meeting or he just needs to get work done.  All of the teachers have assigned parking spots.  I asked for one, but since I am technically not a school employee (I am technically paid through the county) that wasn't happening.  They did however give me a list of teacher's spots so I can usually park in the spot of the teacher for whom I am subbing.  Parking in visitor parking is fine, but it can be tough to get out at the end of the from those spots.  Yesterday, the teacher that was out happened to have the spot next to Andrew on his driver side.  I was driving right behind him to school, so he pulled in first.  As I was swinging into the spot, I thought to myself, "I hope he knows I'm here" so he wouldn't open his door.  Apparently he did not, but fortunately we both realized it before any impact occurred.  Thank goodness!  Explaining that his car was hit by my car would've been unpleasant to explain to the insurance company!

Middle of the week

We are at Wednesday!  Not only is it "hump day" but it is also early release day (every Wednesday).  I love working on Wednesdays!  I wouldn't say the day flies by, but I do appreciate being out 45 minutes early.  I enjoy the days I can go straight home and be home by 2:00 or so.  Today isn't one of them, but at least even after running a bunch of errands, it isn't terribly late.  Andrew and Thomas are going on a bike ride with a group from school and Catherine has to work.  I might even be able to close my eyes for a bit!

This middle of the week in the middle of the month has brought terribly warm temps.  Fortunately the humidity hasn't been awful, although it will be creeping back up by this weekend.  The temps are 10 degrees above normal though.  I am ready for my cozy fall weather, and that isn't happening!  In spite of the unbelievable amount of rain we had this spring, parts of our area are now in a drought, and we expect to be in one by next week.

Our family hasn't had hardly any family time together since Friday evening, but I do try to soak up whatever we can get.  I'm looking forward to the fact that none of us have anywhere to be after 7:00 Saturday evening and most of Sunday evening, so maybe we can play some card games!

An extremely quiet Sunday morning

With Andrew and Thomas gone, it is only Catherine and myself (and our pets).  Catherine had to work at 9 this morning, so I was up at 8.  It is an amazingly beautiful and quiet morning.  Abby and Lincoln are sitting on the couch in the front room with me, and I've opened the windows.  I am enjoying cool weather and peaceful quiet.  I have tons of things I want to accomplish today, and with eight solid hours to myself I am certain I will.  I don't like going to church by myself so I'm staying home today, but honestly, there is something spiritual in these moments as well.

We've had some amazing summers

Today I was able to spend over seven hours scrapbooking.  I was able to complete 32 pages...and I only got about three months completed.  I scrapbooked our vacation to Kansas City with friends to visit other friends that summer, along with my aunt's annual pool party, followed by a day with several cousins at my aunt & uncle's summer home, followed by a family reunion with my Grandmother's family (that included a pool).  There are no photos, but we then spent a night at my dad's cottage, followed by our childless weekend during which my kids were spoiled by my in-laws.  I haven't yet started on the part where we went with my in-laws to Gettysburg and Eisenhower's farm.  There was another trip to my dad's cottage before school started.

This was just one of our fabulous summers.  We have been so incredibly blessed with the amount of time we were able to spend together, the generosity of family members who shared their blessings, and enough funds to cover everything.  This past summer was pretty amazing as well.  As I am staring down Catherine's senior year, I am so, so grateful we took the time to make these memories.

A Friday evening with our little family

Because it was an away game last evening, the kids didn't have any band commitments.  The director decided years ago that he would only take 1/2 the band to each away game, and I'm grateful for that.  It gives a Friday or two off during the season, and last evening was one of them.  I took advantage of that fact and took Catherine shopping for a Homecoming dress.  I was THRILLED when she found a great dress at our first stop.  It meant we were going to get to spend an evening together with the entire family at home.  There is literally nothing that makes my heart happier.  We made some french bread pizza for dinner, and watched a couple of shows together.  I loved our evening.

This morning we were up fairly early so Catherine could get to her ACT test, and Andrew and Thomas left mid-morning for my in-laws.  I decided I would spend the day scrapbooking.  Tomorrow can be for cleaning, errand running, and other responsibilities.  Catherine had to work after her test, so I pretty much had the entire day to myself.  Catherine is now home from work, but I miss Andrew and Thomas.  I am so grateful we had last evening together!

A full moon on Friday the 13th

Putting a full moon together with a "Friday the 13th" is enough to scare all teachers and those who work in emergency services!  I am very grateful that I am at the high school today and not working with little children.  And the fact that it is a Friday makes everything better in my opinion.  It's been a long week.

As I said to Andrew when we were driving home from the funeral on Monday, a funeral is a tough way to begin a week.  Not that there is ever a "good" time for a funeral, but having it on Monday means we are pretty much starting the week completely drained.  Since then, I have worked every day this week.  In addition, I had a meeting at church Tuesday evening and a band meeting Wednesday evening.  Andrew had to work at school both Wednesday evening and last night.  Catherine had to work Tuesday and Wednesday, and she and Thomas had band practice last night.  Andrew and Thomas are leaving to visit Andrew's parents tomorrow morning, while Catherine will be taking the ACT in the morning and then going to work, and then works all day Sunday.

I'll be honest, I miss my husband.  There are so many things I want to share with him.  I am exhausted by the time he gets home, and can barely keep my eyes open.  I know some day we will miss all of this craziness, but hopefully I'll be more rested when those days come!

Where were you

September 11 has arrived again.  It's literally been an entire lifetime ago that this awful day occurred.  As I was at the high school working today and there was a moment of silence at the time that the plane hit the first tower, it struck me that most of the students in that building were not born yet on that day, and the few that were certainly were only infants and have no first hand memory of the events.

For the rest of us though, it is so vivid.  I remember the evening before one of my best friends came over to watch the Monday night season opener of Monday Night Football.  It was the last night things were "normal" for awhile.  I, like many Americans, was at work that Tuesday morning.  My co-worker was on the phone with one of our salesmen who reported a plane had flown into the tower.  Of course at that point, we all thought it was some sort of horrible airline malfunction and tragedy.  The attack into the second tower changed that thought.  I remember walking past another co-worker's desk, and he told me his wife had just called about the plane into the Pentagon.  I vividly remember that moment, because my thought was, "My God.  Our country is under attack."  It had been 60 years since we had been attacked on our own home soil.  My friend who had come over to watch the game the night before came to see me at work, because that is just what we did that day.  We didn't understand really what was happening, but we all wanted to feel safe.  Some needed to reach out to friends, some needed to be alone.  We all needed to find comfort.

I will absolutely never forget that entire week.  Our country permanently changed that day.  I am so grateful my children don't have that kind of point of reference, but it will most likely come along at some point, and that makes me sad.  I know our country isn't perfect, but I'm still grateful to be an American.

It was a lovely day to lay Aunt Cathy to rest

It was another lovely day.  The funeral for Aunt Cathy was very nice.  The thing I loved the most was the time spent with family.  I was so blessed to be able to grow up with both sets of grandparents living two or fewer miles away, and within that two miles also lived my mother's siblings and families.  I was the oldest grandchild, so I got to enjoy the arrival of all the others.  Even now, I am the one living farthest away from my hometown.  Today though, we were all in the same place and most of us had our children there.  I am so incredibly grateful to be a part of this amazing extended family.  It really kind of hit me today that this group of people is never going to be the same again, and that makes me sad.  But I also know, that we will always get through these things together!

Getting to see a walk-off Reds win

We decided to take in one more Reds game today.  We had made sure Catherine didn't work today, and we hit the jackpot with the weather!  The temps are in the upper 70's, and the humidity is low...absolutely ideal.  We were pretty sure the crowds would be low with the beginning of the NFL season today and nothing for the Reds to really play for at this point.  However, they are an entertaining losing team.  You just never know with them!  The Reds were behind, then tied the game in the bottom of the 8th.  In the bottom of the 9th, two men got on, and then Michael Lorenzen, a relief pitcher, battled at the plate for a pinch-hit walk-off win!  It was so exciting!  Earlier in the week, he had pitched in relief for the win, hit a home-run, and played center field.  He is such an exciting player, and it was an awesome win.  While I've been to many games in my life, I rarely get to see wins, and I've never seen a walk-off before!

After the game we walked across the stadium to a gorgeous riverfront park.  We walked through the park as we headed back to our car.  It was a fabulous way to squeeze out one more afternoon of summer fun!

Date night on the river

Last year for Christmas, Andrew gave me a gift card for a dinner cruise on a riverboat in downtown Cincinnati.  Honestly, I wasn't thrilled.  I hate cities, and I'm terrified of being on a boat in the water.  Most of the time I can handle it, but the thought of being forced to be on a boat without a life jacket for 2-1/2 hours was awful.  We made reservations though, and last evening was the date.  I appreciated Andrew's support on how hesitant I was, and he even offered to take me somewhere else.

I enjoyed the lovely city views from the river.  The first half of the trip was daylight which was cool, and then the second half it was dark so we got to see the city lights.  While that was all lovely, the rest of the experience left a little to be desired.  The food was "okay", but very few choices considering it was a buffet.  I knew alcoholic drinks wouldn't be included, but I found the prices to be exorbitant.  The bathrooms were awful, and service was also only "okay".  Overall I found the experience to be way overpriced.

However, I loved spending the evening with Andrew.  We discussed that we need to take evenings for ourselves more often.  I am so grateful to be living life with my husband!

Torn between what I want to do and what I should do

I really feel like scrapbooking today.  However, I have several things I should do to day.  Several things that are responsibilities that should be done.  It's not even that I don't want to do them, it's just that I really want to do some scrapbooking today.  I am still 9-1/2 years behind and I want to get closer to catching up.  Andrew is taking Thomas to his parents next weekend, so I am going to force myself to wait until next weekend, and be responsible today!

I wish everyone was home this Friday evening

I'll be honest, I really wish the family was all home this evening.  I spent the day running errands and then working at my church job..  I was planning to scrapbook this evening, but honestly, I just don't have the mentality to do so.  Andrew and the kids are at the football game, and I would really love it if everyone was home.  I have a college game on TV, a candle lit, and the pets are all sleeping nearby.  I know the kids are having a blast at the game, but I would've loved having a family evening together, being cozy with all of us!

An incredibly peaceful beginning to the weekend

Unbelievably, I am off today.  An off day on a Friday is pretty rare, as teachers like to schedule appointments and other things in order to start the weekend early.  Generally speaking, I don't mind working on Fridays, because it is Friday, and I always say that makes everything better.  However, I won't lie...I also love having a Friday off work because it is like the weekend begins even earlier!  I have a bunch of errands to run, but for right now, I am sitting here enjoying my cup of coffee and the view.  Usually I spend my mornings in the back of our house, but this morning I couldn't pass up the opportunity to watch the day begin from the front of our house.  We have a large picture window, and a comfy overstuffed chair that faces east.  It's been lovely to watch the day break, as well as watching our sweet pup and one of our cats peacefully sleep on the couch.  It is also a fabulous temp, with an overnight low in the 50's.  It is absolutely delightful, and I enjoy the possibility of needing a sweatshirt!  I have a few errands to run later, and I just plan to enjoy the day.

RIP Aunt Cathy

Aunt Cathy passed away this afternoon.  My mom and grandmother, as well as both of her daughters, were with her.  It was very peaceful, and we are grateful.

My cousin and I mentioned that our hearts hurt for our grandmother.  It doesn't matter that my grandmother is 90 or that my aunt was 64.  Parents are not supposed to bury their children, regardless of the ages.

Growing up, I was close to my aunt.  She was only 18 when I was born, and adored me.  I was then eight and ten when my cousins were born and I adored them.  They lived less than a block from me, and I loved being able to walk over to their house whenever I wanted.  As I grew older, she was so helpful to me.  When I lived on my own, she was often the one who would house sit and take care of my pets.  If I couldn't remember if I unplugged something, she was happy to stop by my house and double check.  When a stray cat showed up at our house, and we didn't feel we could add her to our family, Aunt Cathy added her to her family.  She loved her family dearly, and loved her daughters and grandchildren, as well as all of us in her extended family.  She was very proud of all of us.

I was able to go up and spend some time with my mom this afternoon and then went over to spend a little time with my cousin.  I'm grateful I was able to be there, and I'm grateful for all of my family.

Yesterday was Aunt Cathy's birthday

Aunt Cathy had her birthday yesterday.  When Hospice was first called in nearly two weeks ago, my mother mentioned that my grandmother had hoped Aunt Cathy would make it until her birthday.  I thought that sounded awful.  I didn't want her to hold on and suffer for that long.  However, she doesn't seem to be in pain and isn't suffering in that regard.  Mom mentioned my grandmother had said it because she wanted to be able to tell her "Happy Birthday" one more time.  I understood that.  After all, my grandmother was there when Aunt Cathy came into the world.

Yesterday came and went, and Aunt Cathy is still with us.  As I said, there doesn't seem to be pain.  I hate to think about her not being here, but things have been so hard for her in the last several years.  When she passes, she will be in a better place.  My prayers continue for peace for all of our family.

Our Labor Day weekend

It's been a nice weekend, but of course it always goes too quickly.  This is especially true when travel is involved.  We've enjoyed our visit with my in-laws, and are so grateful for Nonie's 80th birthday! 

It's been a nice visit, but even Andrew mentioned there were some reasons to be a little melancholy.  Andrew's father is deteriorating, and it is undeniable.  Last Monday marked the one year passing of Andrew's brother.  And we have no idea what is happening with Robert.  We've not heard from him in over a month, and now it seems as though the text messages aren't even getting sent to him.  Is something wrong with his phone?  Is he on a ship?  We have no idea what is happening and he seems to be choosing not to communicate.  While Andrew and I always suspected this might happen at some point, it is hard on everyone.

We have another busy week, and another busy weekend next weekend.  Just hoping to hold on and treasure whatever peaceful moments we may have along the way!