The weekends are so short

As always happens when the school year begins, the weekends feel sooo short.  Don't get me wrong.  I completely acknowledge that for many, many people, school year weekends and summer weekends are all the same.  I never fail to be aware that I am very blessed to be able to work as I do.

On Saturday, Andrew spent about 6-1/2 hours working at athletic events.  I worked for two hours at the church office.  Then, we traveled to our former town to spend the evening with our dear friends.  I was a little worried it would be awkward since "dear friend" is now also my boss, but we had as much fun as ever.  We checked out a winery, and we certainly wish we had visited sooner!  The wine is fine, but the atmosphere is fabulous!  We will definitely be returning!

Yesterday we enjoyed Andrew making a big brunch before we took Catherine back to school.  I then worked on band things for hours while Andrew was working on school stuff.  We kind of expect that Sundays may not be relaxing this year.  We'll see how it works out.

Here we are at Monday again!  Today is my last day in the French assignment.  I love Orange day (they are on block schedules, brown days and orange days) in French!  French isn't the same as it was at our school, but the schedule on orange days is awesome!  I will miss having so much down time during the day!

It was so different

I got my nap in.  Yay!!!  I needed it after a full week of work dealing with teenagers.

This evening was the first football game of the season.  Thankfully, it rained this afternoon but everything dried up before the game.  Catherine had to show our tickets to even be allowed to drive into the parking lot.  We then were only allowed to sit in certain spots.  I was watching the kids play football, and cheer, and play their instruments, and honestly, my heart broke a little.  It broke for me personally, because I miss these students soooo much.  I will always, always be grateful to our friend who has given me this income opportunity, but it doesn't mean I'm not sad that I can't be working here.  My heart broke for the seniors who are missing so many things this year.  Yes, they are able to do their activities tonight, but they aren't in classes with their friends and there won't be homecoming or so many other things.  There aren't big crowds at their games to cheer them on.  Senior night was tonight instead of the end of the season, because we all know next week isn't guaranteed.  I couldn't help but think how grateful I was to be allowed to attend because I am a participant's parent, but it still stinks.  I was sad that I don't get to be involved with the band.  I miss getting to know the kids.

I know at the end of the day, life is okay.  We are blessed.  I am lucky in so many ways.  But life was also pretty darn good before, and I pray that we can all find a way to get rid of this darn virus.

Really looking forward to a nap today

We have almost made it through our week!  I have 105 minutes until the final bell rings, not that I am counting or anything!  I am looking forward to some fun things this weekend, but also to some time at home.  I'll be honest, I miss my house.  Having a 35 minute commute each way is a big adjustment for me, and I've never done it before while being a mother.  Always though, I am grateful for this unexpected opportunity to have an income.

The marching band is performing at the football game this evening, and since Thomas is in the band, I am allowed to attend the game.  Catherine and I are going, although we could be sitting in hurricane remnant rains.  Wouldn't be the first time.  My plan is to leave as soon as the band performs at half-time.  Andrew has to work at the cross country meet in the morning.  I also have to work at church, but can be flexible.  Tomorrow evening we are hanging out with our very good friends (also my new boss!), and I am especially looking forward to that!  Laundry and housework are also on the agenda, but there is no 5:15 alarm (or even an alarm for me at all!) until Monday.  Looking forward to our weekend.

I loved hearing the sounds coming from our living room

After I got off work yesterday, I picked Catherine up and brought her home.  My job is less than fifteen minutes from where she lives so it works out perfectly.  It was so wonderful to hear her voice and laughter throughout our house again last night.  The best part though, was hearing her interactions with Thomas.  It's been so quiet without her there.  It's not that Catherine is a loud person, it's just that Thomas is lonely without her.  It was so nice to hear them talking and laughing together last night.  It made my heart beyond full.  She doesn't go back until Sunday, and I'm so grateful to get to soak up these moments and memories while I can.

How it's going this week

I'm not going to lie, this week has been a very big adjustment.  Just going back to school normally is a big adjustment every year, and after being home since March it would've been even more so.  Add to it the fact that Andrew and Thomas are home and I'm working full time at a different district, and wowza.

I'm beginning to find my morning routine though, and since I'm the only one up and moving at that time each day, I think I'll be able to sleep in 15 minutes later than I did last year.  I'll take that!  I'm home by 3:30 most days as well, which is nice.  Dismissal here is much smoother, so I am in my car out of the parking lot most days within ten minutes of the final bell, rather than waiting even 15 minutes to walk to the car because the parking lot was so awful!

This is a nice place to be.  I like the people and overall I don't mind it.  Still, if given the choice, I would go back to our district in a heart beat.  I've been "subbing" in French all week.  The teacher is at home teaching virtually, so really I am just sitting here keeping things legal...even more than usual!  Her schedule is extremely easy, especially on days like today.  They do an every-other-day-schedule, and this one is ridiculously easy.  She has a class in the morning, then a 2-1/2 hour break, teaches for one hour, then another hour off before teaching for the final hour.  I'm kind of going to miss this when they get the "regular" monitor in here.  It's been crazy learning new routines for everyone in the middle of this pandemic, but it's going along fine.

I'm grateful things are working out well, at least for now!

I still cried about it four years later

This morning I was reading a post I wrote four years ago.  I sat here and cried all over again.  The feelings and emotions of that morning were that powerful.  I can still picture so very much of it in my mind.  As emotional as it makes me, it is literally one of my favorite memories ever.

Today's tears though, were also about all of the things that have happened in the past four years.  That doesn't mean they are all sad, although certainly some of them are.  It was just a day that wrapped up so many of my feelings about our lives at the time.  I think many days of parenting are very similar, but that one was all just so amplified.

I'm very grateful for the blog and for all of the memories...even the ones that make me cry!

I really miss early release Wednesday

When I worked at school here in town, every Wednesday was early release day.  We got out 45 minutes early so that teachers could have meetings, etc.  It was delightful!  I loved working on Wednesday.  It was a nice little motivation to help get over the "hump".  I couldn't help but especially miss it today.

We had a particularly interesting day.  After some MAJOR chaos this morning of technology snafus, we then had the power go out.  We were literally just minutes away from dismissing early...like four hours early.  It came on right before an early dismissal was announced.

I am exhausted.  I am enjoying the job, but I am tired!

We all had a successful first day

Everyone had a successful first day!  I was out the door just as Andrew was getting up, and well before Thomas awoke.  That part honestly hurt my heart.  Thomas wanted to get up before I left just so he could see me, but I promised him I would take his "first day photo" when I got home.  I had to fight tears this morning as I made the drive to work.  I am so, so grateful that I've always had the opportunity to be home with the kids for their important moments.

When I got home this evening, I made good on my promise, and both Andrew and Thomas reported all had gone well.  There didn't even seem to be any technological glitches.  My day was fine.  I have no complaints.  I miss the kids I know here, but again, the new place is fine.

We also chatted with Catherine this evening.  She had three classes today, all in-person.  She commented that it was different then high school.  She really enjoyed it.

I'm very grateful it was such a positive day for us all!

It put a damper on it

One of the things I was doing while at my mom's new place (formerly my grandmother's house) was removing staples from her hardwood floors.  She has had all of the carpet pulled up and the floors are GORGEOUS.  It will be absolutely lovely.  It was a job we worked on together, which gave us some time to chat.

My mom is less emotional about the family situation, but that absolutely is not to say she is unemotional about it.  Her friend told me Friday night that between my aunt passing away almost a year ago, and then my grandmother in February, and my uncle taking this step, she feels like she has lost her entirely family in a year.  The fact that my sister doesn't think my uncle's action is a big deal doesn't help.  My mother prides herself on doing the right thing, ALWAYS, and to be questioned in that is not insignificant.

Part of the reason my mother wanted to purchase the house is because she looked forward to having a place where the family could gather.  We have wonderful memories of holidays in that house from when I was a child, and I know my mother looked forward to holidays there again.  Maybe someday, although I also recognize the relationship between my mother and her brother may be irreparable, especially with my grandmother no longer alive.  Mom and I kept remarking how lovely everything would look in her house, but I know how much it is clouded in sadness for her, and it makes me sad.

We had church this morning

Our church decided to hold an outdoor service this morning.  How absolutely wonderful it was to gather with so many others from our congregation to share in the service together.  We have a large towering cross on the corner of our property, and I am so grateful that we had that as the cornerstone.  In addition, Andrew (church council President) was able to present our Pastor with a plaque and many gifts in honor of serving our congregation for twenty years.  This morning was such a blessing, and I'm so grateful for it as we head into a crazy week!

First day on the job

Yesterday I reported to my first day at my new job.  It was a little crazy given the circumstances, and I was absolutely exhausted when it was over.  I loved it though.  It was awesome, and I think I will truly enjoy being there for the year.

Overall, yesterday turned into a really long day.  I left the house at 7AM, and drove straight from my job to my mom's house (about 40 minutes).  Andrew and Thomas met me there, and there was work mom needed done.  We finally made it home about 8:00, but then Andrew and I had to run to church to deal with an issue there.  It was a very long day, especially when we hadn't had many scheduled days since mid-March!

Today was another long day.  Thomas and I had to be back up at my mother's at 9:00 this morning.  Thomas was working in the attic and I was helping to pull staples out of the floor.  Mom has had all the carpets removed, and there are GORGEOUS wood floors underneath.  Fortunately, my cousin's husband arrived with better tools, and most importantly muscle!  It was such a tremendous help.  Meanwhile, Andrew was working all day at the school for athletic events.  Because these were the first events with the state's new restrictions on spectators, Andrew needed to be at everything.

Tomorrow our church has decided to hold an outdoor service in the morning, and then Andrew needs to attend an athletic fundraiser.  It's pretty-much an all day thing, and then we are beginning the week again.  Although it is crazy, I'm grateful for the opportunities!

Family sadness

My heart is heavy today.  I am hoping the absolutely gorgeous weather will help to life me up, but my heart is heavy.  My mother called first thing this morning.  She had received a letter from an attorney representing my uncle.  Not my uncle's attorney mind you, but someone they had hired specifically to draft this letter to my mother.  He wants a complete account of how my mother has handled the estate.  I am heartbroken (and offended) for my mother.  My mother has always been the epitome of fair.  She would never cheat the family members, and in fact there were things my uncle had wanted her to just take, but my mother wanted to make sure it was fair to my cousins as well (they are heirs due to their mother's passing last year).  While it will be easy to complete a report, the point of this is that not only does it appear they do not trust my mother, but using this particular attorney indicates they are actually accusing her of cheating or lying.  I guess it is probably a good thing that we weren't planning to be with them for Thanksgiving this year, thinking we would probably go to my in-laws.

And that is another thing.  Andrew's father has deteriorated to the point that my mother-in-law can no longer care for him, and it is time to get some additional help.  She is committed to not putting him in a facility, so she is looking for some help in the home.

All of this of course is set against the backdrop of other little family stresses, while our family attempts to begin the strangest school year ever in the middle of a world-wide pandemic.  My heart is heavy today, and I'm lifting up prayers for peace.

Not using our dryer

I am extremely frugal.  I like the money in my savings account rather than spending it on things that aren't necessary.  If my family needs something, I want the money to be there, and I want us to enjoy things as well.  So if there is something I can do to save money, I do it.  In the last month I have been especially diligent about not using our dryer.  I've even been scheduling my laundry around the weather so that I can wait until dry days.  I'll be honest, I can't get over how much less laundry I have with only three of us, but regardless, I've been saving a lot of money without using the dryer.  Some days are like today where it is absolutely gorgeous when I hang out the wash, some days it is so hot that I am pretty certain some of the early hanging things are already dry by the last time I hang the last item.  I am grateful that I've been able to do this.  The lack of electricity use is also good for the environment!

The craziness kind of snuck up on us

I know that school has been on the calendar to start next week since June...and actually it was originally supposed to begin today.  However, it was also obvious that I wasn't going to be working, and we weren't too optimistic about extra curricular activities.  It felt like school was beginning next week, but that I still had an expanse of time.

Then last week the bands decided to plow full speed ahead with one of our fundraisers, and instead of doing it in October, it's happening NOW.  All paperwork needed to be in the hands of the students by tomorrow and collected again in three weeks.  I finished last night to make that happen.  Then of course on Friday I got a phone call that offered me an opportunity for this fall.  It's official as of this afternoon, and it's full time, with a 45 minute drive each way.  The pay makes up for that though, and it's a wonderful opportunity until I can get back to subbing in school here.  Today though, I found out that instead of beginning on Monday, I actually begin Friday.  All of a sudden, tomorrow is the end of my summer!  I've spent several days running around to get things in order, but I'm ready to go.

The governor also outlined requirements for extra-curricular activities yesterday, and since it is pretty much a go with extra restrictions, Andrew is very, very busy with his supplemental.  Wowza!  On top of it, our church decided to hold an outdoor service this weekend.  It's all a little overwhelming.

I'm so grateful though.  We are still being very safe and working with our new normal, but I am grateful we won't just be sitting around.  It's exciting, even though I know I'll be exhausted!

A quiet morning but lots to do

This last week before school starts is full of so much to do.  I am trying very hard not to feel overwhelmed by it all.  Andrew also has a crazy amount of things to do this week.  I had forgotten how crazy the week before can be, and I certainly didn't expect to be facing a job where I would be working full time to add to it all.

Right now though, Andrew has gone to school and Thomas is still sleeping.  I am grateful for this quiet right now.  I also think it is going to rain today.  That isn't necessarily a bad thing as we could use some rain.  It might drain the motivation though!

We have lived here seven years

I can't believe we have been in this house seven years.  That is not a short amount of time, although it has flown by.  I am so grateful for the life we have in this house.  At the same time, this date kind of takes my breath away.  This time seven years ago was so incredibly stressful.  Within seven months we moved, Thomas passed out and taken by ambulance to the hospital, my dad's best friend (and father-like figure to me) died, my dad died, my brother-in-law suffered a debilitating stroke, my mother-in-law was ill and hospitalized, and my mother was diagnosed with cancer.  And there were many smaller things that led up to this!  My mother and mother-in-law have turned out well, but I will never, ever forget how that all felt.  I can't lie, in many ways this year is just as stressful.

I couldn't sleep last night.  Part of it is that my body doesn't seem to be able to regulate my body temp again.  Part of it was Andrew snoring.  Part of it is just the time of year, with school beginning, albeit strangely, and me taking a job unexpectedly.  I'm grateful for the opportunity, but it's all very unknown.  It felt weird being awake so early, but I also reminded myself that what felt "early" when I woke up today will be the time I need to be leaving next week.  Wow.

Andrew is back at work today, and Thomas is still sleeping.  One benefit to being up so early is quiet time.  I very much appreciate this quiet time.  That will also be a benefit of my 30 minute drive each way.  Lots of quiet time for me!

The last weekend of the summer

This is really the last weekend of the summer.  I don't feel sad about it, I don't feel excited about it, I just feel....bleh.  I always lament the loss of family time when school begins, but we've all been together since March, and I haven't adjusted to our "new normal" with Catherine at school, so I don't really feel that.  I'm usually excited for a new routine, but I don't really know how that looks right now, so not-so-much feeling that.  It's just there.

Andrew officially begins tomorrow with a week of professional development.  I suspect he will be spending most of this week in his classroom.  If I have that job that I wrote about on Friday, I will be starting the following Monday, and will be needing to leave the house no later than 6:45 each morning, which will be before Thomas even needs to be up for his day for the remote learning.  That will be weird!  Thomas will begin his remote learning, and Andrew will begin his remote teaching that same day.  Andrew will probably be home a little more than anticipated in the beginning to make sure that Thomas is doing what needs to be done.  So yes, this is the last summer weekend!

An opportunity has presented itself

I received a phone call this afternoon from Andrew's best friend.  He is the superintendent at a school district about 30 minutes from here.  He had mentioned a couple of weeks ago that he is hiring three building subs for his district.  They would report every day and fill in where ever is needed.  He had mentioned it to me before we knew whether or not our district would be open.  Of course, since then our district has gone remote for the first semester.  Andrew's friend explained that he wasn't thrilled with the candidates, and knew I could do the job.  It would pay more than I make in our current district, and that would cover the cost of the gas, plus it would be guaranteed every day.  With Andrew working remotely, he will have a little bit of flexibility to deal with things here at the house, and he has plenty of sick days if needed to deal with medical things.  The nice thing is that when I am no longer needed at this job, I can come back and work with the kids right here in town.  It's really a win-win for both of us, and it solves problems for each other!  In fact, we'll be able to afford to do more things socially with them!  It's an exciting opportunity and I'm very grateful!

Our third teenaged driver

We have our third and final teenage driver in the house.  COVID slowed the process down slightly, but not as much as it did for some.  Mostly because we are not ones to rush the process in any way at all.  He got his temps four months later than he was eligible because he has to "earn" his temps.  Being the legal age is only the first step in this house.  Then we waited nearly another six months to take the class, and so on and so on.  He is actually the first child to receive his license before turning 17.  Although it's been 21 months, I can still remember the feeling of wanting to vomit the very first time Catherine pulled out of the driveway and drove herself to work.  It's all gone so incredibly fast!

August 13

It's been a crazy day.  It was 9:30 before Andrew and I sat down and felt "done" with our day, although he is still working on school and church emails.  There have been some pretty awful August 13ths in my past though, so this I can deal with.

Five months ago today was our first day "out" of school.  It all seemed so surreal at that point.  I remember we got together with some friends that evening because none of us really understood the seriousness of it all.  Even then, it was still a gathering of less than ten people, and they are people who have been part of our "social bubble" since then.  There are really only three couples we have spent any time with since this all exploded.  We get to see two of them again Saturday and I'm really looking forward to it.  Anyway, it's been five full months without in-person school.

I'm not really looking forward to Andrew beginning on Monday, but I know it's time.  I'm having a bit of a rough patch as suddenly I'm only down to one kid to "parent" full-time, and I have no job to go along with it either.  I'm sure the days will fly by though, and hopefully we will be back in school before we know it!

Is it being faithful or being selfish?

Andrew is currently outside meeting with colleagues.  School begins for him next week, and Thomas will begin the following Monday.  We are still trying to come up with how they are both going to work here, but Andrew is hoping to go in to his classroom for at least a couple of days a week.  The decision to be fully remote made me very relieved, and yet so incredibly sad all at the same time.  I feel safer having them at home, but I am sad for everything we are all missing.

As things are developing, I am becoming less and less convinced that Andrew will get paid for his supplemental.  As of right now, I am not planning to look for any employment (or hopefully go back to subbing!) until January.  And that brings me to my question...am I having faith that it will all work out, or am I being selfish in not working?  At the same time, is it selfish to NOT want to expose our family to additional people by working?  These conflicted feelings definitely go along with all of the conflicted emotions so many people are feeling!

All at home

We picked Catherine up from her apartment today.  She has an appointment tomorrow and another on Wednesday, and then I will take her back to her apartment after that.  While I love having her home, the part that I loved just as equally was that she was excited to tell me about how things had gone in the 45 hours since I had last seen her.  I was pleased to hear that she has actually been talking to her roommate, and things seemed to be going well.

I sure do love having her under our roof again this evening, even if it is just tonight and tomorrow.  I suspect she will be around one night sometime next week, and then the tentative plan is that she will go with us to my in-laws in early September.  I am so grateful for her, and that things are going well so far.

So much changes

Six weeks ago Thomas and I were sitting here waiting while Andrew took Catherine to the hospital.  It's been a crazy six weeks.  I'm so grateful she is having this opportunity to be on her own at school, but I miss her so much.

I was looking at a picture, and it really made me realize how much changes in year.  The picture is of my mother, her brother and sister, and my grandmother.  It was taken five years ago, but a year ago they were all still with us.  I miss Aunt Cathy and G.G. tremendously.  We've also had Robert choose not to be a part of our lives, while Catherine graduated in the middle of a pandemic.  We've lost months of school, and I've lost my income.  I know that there are people who are far, far, far worse off than we are.  I still count my blessings everyday, but I also know it is okay to be sad and emotional sometimes.

She is officially moved in

This afternoon we drove Catherine to her new apartment...and then we returned home without her.  Honestly, I wasn't that emotional, but I was also behaving as my mother did and planning to drop her and go.  We did make sure she had plenty of groceries and left her with a generous grocery gift card as well.  We also bought her dinner before we left, so I know she ate dinner.  Because of scheduled medical appointments next week, I will be going to get her on Monday, and she will be home for about 48 hours again before she goes back.  I have some concerns that she has moved in two weeks before classes begin, but hopefully she uses the time to find a job and make some friends.

I just keep thinking that this was all too fast.  I know that I soaked up days at each phase and I'm not sitting here thinking, "Oh I wish I had done..."  My undoing would be Thomas.  He hugged his sister, and that made me teary.  I also found out when we got home that he had given her one of his knives to make sure she had something to open boxes.  Oh, that really tugged at my heart, him wanting to look out for his sister.

I know that we have entered a new phase of life.  Needless to say, I lift up many prayers that she is safe and happy.  That is all I have ever wanted for my kids!

Family wedding

Last evening we attended the wedding of my cousin Gretchen.  To be very specific, she is the daughter of my second cousin (making her my second cousin once removed) or my kids' third cousin!  I LOVE that my family is so close that we are included in such things!  There was family there from Massachusetts, Virginia, North Carolina, New York, & Kentucky.  It was truly very lovely to see everyone, although I do wish we could have social distanced a bit more, and more people had worn masks.  Regardless, it was a fun family wedding, and the first of that generation!  It was a little surprising in that out of the nineteen of that generation, there are nine that are older than Gretchen (and nine younger, she is literally exactly in the middle).  Her father was so emotional about everything, which made Andrew emotional.  I got very choked up and teary-eyed when the groom and his mother danced.  I looked over at Thomas and just couldn't fathom that day could be as close as it could be.  I'm so grateful for family!

It's happening

We took Catherine over and checked her in to her apartment today.  Because of a family wedding that is tomorrow, she came back home with us.  I was a little disappointed in that the place was not as nice as I had expected it to be.  One of her roommates apparently was able to live there all summer, and it seems as though she has already taken over EVERYTHING.  Catherine barely found room for the three cans of beans I purchased for her.  This is the downside to it being an apartment rather than a dorm.  Her roommate is not a freshman, so it's not quite the same experience.  She is very, very excited though, and I'm grateful for that.

She and Thomas are in her room doing more packing.  It was so sweet watching Thomas be so helpful.  I'm really not sure what he is going to do without her around.  It kind of breaks my heart to even think about it.

We will be taking her back on Saturday, and she will stay there for two nights until I pick her up again on Monday.  She has doctor appointments both Tuesday and Wednesday, and then I will most likely take her back on Wednesday.  I think this is a good way to transition for all of us.  I'm ready for this, and I know Catherine is ready for this.  At the same time, I wish it wasn't quite time yet.

We need to develop a plan

Since we now know that Thomas and Andrew will be home for several months, we need to come up with a plan for everyone to have some space.  Andrew been using our dining room table, but that doesn't seem to be viable for five more months.  I would like him to have a place he can keep track of his things.  We have an extra table in our garage that would make an ideal work space for him, but we aren't sure where to put it.  Additionally, we need some place for Thomas to be able to work as well.  Sitting on a couch isn't ideal.  We also know though, that he does need to be comfortable in order to work well, so we need to come up with something.

Obviously, I am completely unemployed (except for an hour or two each week at church) during this time.  Andrew and I talked before things became official, and we know that we will financially be fine for a few months.  We decided that I would not look for a job until January because we don't want me to have something that might require me to work during the holidays.  We will also hope that school will open again in January and I can sub, but that is definitely no guarantee.  So for now, my "job" will simply be to make sure things runs as smoothly as possible.  Some days that will probably mean I need to get out of the way.  Mom will need things done at her place, so there will be days I am there.  Catherine will have appointments and no car, so there will be days I am dealing with that.  We are also refinancing our mortgage which will significantly decrease our payments, and I am becoming the "electricity monitor" to make sure we are frugal.  We are hanging out laundry and turning off lights immediately.

I love having a plan!  We aren't all the way there, but we are getting there!

We visited with my grandmother

Yesterday Catherine had an appointment.  We were nearly 1/2 way to my hometown, and my grandmother had asked to see Catherine before we took her to school (which is happening in stages).  I also wanted to see my grandmother as it had been nearly two months.  Oh my goodness, that woman amazes me every day.  You would never, ever know that she is 89-years-old.  She is truly one of the greatest blessings in my life, and I am forever grateful for her.  We are in a stretch of lovely weather, and we sat out on her back patio so we could be outside and distanced.  I know it is hard not to hug, but we want to be as safe as possible.  It was lovely.

Things change

I know that we all know that things change, but two examples have happened in the last 24 hours that really drove it home to me.  First, we learned last night that school will be online for at least the first quarter, and I'm guessing it could end up being the entire year, the way things are playing out in our state.  While school is online, there will be very little reason, if any, for Thomas to need to be up before 8:00 each morning.  I can't say this makes me unhappy!  Ironically, it was four years ago that we learned that Robert's bus would be picking him up each day at 5:45, meaning we were going to be having a 5:00 alarm.  This is a change I don't mind at all!

Yesterday the ONLY thing we had on our calendar was Andrew's school training from 3-5.  I happened to be noticing that on our calendar four years ago we had Robert's cross country practice from 8-9:45, a haircut for me at 9, a haircut for Andrew at 10:30, eye appointments for both Catherine and Thomas at noon, Andrew had middle school football practice from 4-6:30, Robert had a doctor appointment at 4, and Catherine had band practice from 6-9.  Yikes!  Certainly, some of the lesser schedule is because of the pandemic (otherwise Thomas would have had band practice yesterday), and some is because there is only one teen contributing to our calendar these days.  Somedays this particular change is hard to accept.   I always knew this is how it would be though, and I'm just going to hold on to each moment my kiddos are here with me!

It all could've been much worse

Last night Andrew watched to the school board meeting.  I made him listen through headphones because I was just too anxious about it.  The decision was made, as expected, to begin the year remotely.  However, the school board is not committing at this time to an entire semester, so we will just see what happens.

I am very grateful that they only shut down contact sports.  I am certain those students and families are disappointed, but in our house we have a band student, and I am very grateful that he is allowed to continue.  My mother mentioned she doesn't feel that there should be sports if they can't physically be in school.  I explained that normally I would agree with that, however I feel it is important at this point to give kids whatever can be SAFELY given to them.  Anything, however little, is better than nothing.

While they did decide to form a committee to look into teacher reductions, it will not be for this school year.  Andrew's job is safe, but all of the teachers are colleagues and it will be tough.  They also decided not to eliminate educational assistants at this time.

Overall, it went about as well as could be hoped for during such crazy times.  There are still tough decisions ahead, but I am very pleased with the decisions the board made.

Stress dreaming

I have to say, last night's dreams were full of stress.  I completely understand, that is pretty much what is on my mind these days, but it doesn't make for very restful sleep.  I remember back to seven years ago, and the stress level these days feels very similar to that time.  We got through things then, and we will get through them now.  I wouldn't mind dreaming about more pleasant things though!

I miss going to church

Every week since church shut down in the middle of March, our Pastor has been sending an email showing the bulletin as it would've been printed, as well as a video of his sermon.  Today, Thomas even figured out how to mirror our computer so we can watch it on TV and not all squeeze together on the couch.  In times of crises, it is so difficult not to have the opportunity to share our faith with others during service, but I am so grateful that we live in the age of technology where we still have options.  I so look forward to the day when we can all go back to church.  I truly miss being in church!

More discouraging news

We learned last evening that our superintendent is planning to immediately RIF 2/3 of the district educational assistants.  In theory, this is not permanent as they would need to be re-employed "when" school opens.  Unfortunately, we are beginning to wonder if that will happen at all this year.  Honestly, going back to school in January during flu season after holidays seems unrealistic if they aren't going to try at any point during the first semester.  Further, we learned that the school is most likely hoping to eliminate some teaching positions before school begins.  Rumor has it this would also include "specialized" teachers where it is more difficult not to be in-person, such as music and art.  That of course would mean that Thomas wouldn't have any kind of music instruction at all.  That breaks my heart, not to mention that the director is someone I obviously know well.  Again, theoretically the teachers would be brought back on when school begins in-person, but it just isn't good.

I'll be honest, this all just really, really sucks.  I hate it.  I hate all of this.  I'm having trouble finding the silver lining.  People are losing so much, including lives.  Some days I'm just not sure I can pray enough.

Wonder what August is going to bring

Anyone who has read my blog for a few years will know that August is not my favorite month.  August is often hot, and I hate hot weather.  August is when school starts.  I don't mind that nearly as much as I did when the kids were younger, and especially when Robert was still going to school.  August has also been the month of much personal stress and sadness, although gratefully that hasn't necessarily been the case in more recent years.

Who knows what this August is going to bring though?  Usually when life has been stressful, I rejoice in a new month and a chance at a clean start...an opportunity for it to be a good month.  This year?  Well, it's a little hard to be optimistic at this point, and a little easier to be concerned and even afraid of what's coming next.  Hopefully, it's a lovely month!