I'm glad I didn't go

Today was a big Christmas home tour in my home town.  There were 11 old Victorian homes on Main St. that were open and decorated...and one of them was my parents' old house.  My parents bought their dream home and we moved into it right after my freshmen year of high school.  My dad spent the next three years restoring the inside, and then the next few years building a giant back porch and brick patio...all keeping with the design of the house.  I moved out the fall after I graduated from college (seven years after I moved in) and my parents lived there another nine years before moving into the current house.  Neither of them really wanted to move, but my Dad's health made it necessary.  It was a 3000 sq ft home with all the bedrooms upstairs...and being an older home required a great deal of upkeep.  I haven't been back to that house in nine years since the day they moved out.  I really debated about whether or not I wanted to see it again, and while I could've made the trip, the schedule of the last couple of days and the rainy weather made pajamas and football seem a whole lot more enticing than a 75 minute (each way) drive and the possibility of an emotional reaction.

I just saw some pictures that a friend took when she went through.  The current owners (same as the ones who purchased from my parents) have made surprisingly few changes, especially considering they've lived there nine years.  The paint colors and even wallpaper borders were exactly the same.  My dad's back porch (it was where he loved to spend his time) looked the same also...and I'm so glad I didn't make that trip to see it in person.  Even though I actually lived in my childhood home (just around the corner from the Main St. Victorian) longer than I lived in this open house, some of my most favorite memories are right there.  While I'm amazingly grateful for those memories, I'm just not ready to come that close to reliving them right now, and to seeing changes that may have been made.  As it turns out, I'm really glad I didn't go.

A first for me

Yesterday afternoon I was taking Robert to dive workout practice (three times a week they work out in the weight room).  Our town's high school is located just outside of town and back in what used to be a field.  Yesterday as we were making the drive down the lane, this "thing" suddenly ran out strutting in front of me and I had to slam on the breaks so hard everything unsecured came flying forward (fortunately just mail).  As it ran on its way on the other side I said to Robert, "What the hell was that?"  He calmly replied, "A wild turkey."  Never in my life had I experienced such a thing, although I do know that they live around here.  It was definitely a sight I shall not soon forget!

It still comes out of nowhere

I just received an email that made me bow my head and begin to cry...I didn't expect to still react like that so quickly over a year later.  My grandmother has made a little Christmas planter and wanted to set it at Dad's grave site.  I can accept the fact that my Dad is gone and I'm at peace with it.  Of course I still miss him and of course it hurts sometimes, but I am very aware of the greater picture of life.  But Grandma's email made the tears flow again, and it's less about my dad than about her son.  No one should EVER have to bury their child.  While I know that my grandmother is also able to appreciate that Dad is no longer suffering, it doesn't change the fact that she outlived her son.  As a mother myself, that reality is heartbreaking.  It also made me think about the fact that Dad doesn't have a grave marker yet.  He is buried next to what will be my mother's spot, which is next to her parents.  Grandma also owns four plots "above" those four, so the stones are already in place.  However, Mom wanted some particular etching done on the stone, and because she got sick as the weather got warmer, it hasn't happened yet.  Regardless of any of that, I am sometimes still amazed by how quickly emotions can overcome.

How we spent Thanksgiving weekend

We had a nice Thanksgiving weekend.  Tuesday was continued school craziness, but that evening we sat down together as a family and watched a few Friends Thanksgiving episodes.  They have some of the best ever, and the kids are now old enough that we can all enjoy it together!  Wednesday we cleaned and picked up before my in-laws arrived, and I made a quick journey to my hometown to visit friends in town from North Carolina...along with their precious five-week-old baby.  Thursday we enjoyed a fabulous meal and terrific company at my aunt & uncle's house, and Friday we took in a high school hockey game and some Christmas lights while mostly just hanging out before my in-laws left early Saturday morning.  Saturday was Christmas decorating, and putting the ornaments on our trees is my favorite activity every year.  We all look forward to it!  Yesterday we finished decorating and putting the house back together, and of course all weekend we enjoyed football!  The Ohio State/Michigan game went exactly as we had hoped, but our Steelers lost yesterday.  For the most part, we all enjoyed the time together.

On the downside, our weekend was full of teenage crap (there really isn't another word for it).  Catherine had an absolute meltdown last night, and she is entirely too old to be behaving this way.  Robert was also up to his old shenanigans again, and honestly it kind of makes me want to throw up.  I really thought he had turned a corner, and I don't think he understands what he is doing to the trust factor.  I just can't help but feel sickened by it, and I can't begin to express how much I have prayed for guidance and good choices.

We have nothing exciting going on this week, but I am grateful to be heading into the holidays.  My shopping is about 75% finished, so I am looking forward to enjoying the season!

I didn't get much sleep last night

I could not fall asleep last night...no amount of counting anything seemed to be able to make that happen.  Strangely enough, the exact same thing happened two years ago on the Monday night before Thanksgiving.  Not sure if that means anything, but it's odd.

I am READY for this break...although breaks aren't what they used to be.  When the kids were younger, breaks means everything stopped and it was time off.  Now, breaks mean there is no school, but sports practices, etc. continue on.  Today for instance, Catherine has the school newspaper after school, Robert has an FFA activity and then dive practice, and Thomas has basketball practice this evening.  Tomorrow Robert has dive again and then Catherine has basketball practice...so not a complete break, but there will be sleeping in!

Andrew's in-laws arrive tomorrow evening.  Originally we had a plan to have a meal with them while still having actual Thanksgiving with my extended family, but since Andrew's brother is recovering from his latest medical issues in an extended care facility, his parents are coming here.  They are staying longer than anticipated and I'm not entirely sure how we are going to pleasantly fill all of those hours, but it will be what it will be.  I have very dear lifelong friends who are at their parents for the week, up from North Carolina.  I have every intention of making the 75 minute drive to my hometown at some point while they are here in order to visit.  A new baby arrived last month and this is my chance to meet him!  And of course all weekend will include decorating for Christmas...I love doing this as a family!

I hope everyone has a very Happy Thanksgiving!

What is it about November?

There just seems to be something about this month...I don't really know why I haven't written in over a week.  Many of the other blogs I follow also seem to be in a rut with very few updates, and looking back over my archives it seems as though November is the month where I just stop writing.  Maybe it's because November is both busy with upcoming holidays, and yet mundane.  Nothing really exciting happens until the end of the month and maybe that's it.

Last week was pretty much a perfect example of life right now.  I filled my gas tank Tuesday evening after dropping Robert at dive practice.  I didn't have it most of the day Wednesday because Andrew was getting the oil changed in his car so he drove the van to work.  When I got in that evening and noticed it had gone nearly 40 miles, I immediately wondered what he had been up to.  As we figured up all the taxiing we do to kids' activities though, it became evident he hadn't done anything but ferry kids around!  On Thursday evening as I was driving Robert to another dive practice...I pointed out that the van had gone 60 miles in 48 hours...without leaving town!  It was just Andrew's drive to work and transporting kids.  That is our life right now.

And I don't mean for it to sound like a complaint.  I am so grateful for all of the opportunities our kids have here...it's why we decided to move here!

A November snow day

Never in our lives have we had a snow day in the middle of November, but it is absolutely gorgeous outside!  The schools closed about 5:30 this morning, so we all slept in...and that is always nice!  We are, of course, hoping that this winter isn't picking up where the last one left off, but for today we are enjoying the gift of time!