It's too quiet here, and I kind of want to cry.

Our "long" weekend was too short, as always, and as life has been around here lately, didn't go according to plan.  I picked Thomas up from school after he got off work Friday evening, which meant we were on our way home about 8:00.  Because we weren't really sure what he was going back to last weekend, his cat had stayed here for the week.  She is such an absolute sweetheart, but also quite a climber, and doesn't get along with our own Maudie.  We really didn't mind having her around, although I knew some picture frames would be in peril based on where the cat liked to climb.

Andrew had baseball practice Saturday morning.  My plan was to put away Christmas all day, then there would be frozen pizza for dinner while watching football.  After church yesterday, we had planned that Catherine would join us, and we'd enjoy potato soup for dinner and watch the Bengals game, then today we'd eat at one of our family's favorite restaurants when we took Thomas back to school.  Thomas had mentioned that his girlfriend was out of town so I was really looking forward to family time.

Or not.  Saturday did go pretty much as I expected, and it was lovely.  Yesterday though, Catherine didn't feel well and decided not to come over, but was going to try for today to join us for lunch.  I completely understood.  Thomas's girlfriend ended up being in town last evening, and he understandably wanted to see her.  Andrew and I enjoyed the Bengals game.

This morning, Andrew headed to a baseball clinic (which I kept forgetting about), and I was roused out of bed because he forgot he had scheduled the plumber to arrive to fix a pipe...and they had to access it through my closet.  Not the greatest way to begin my day!  As soon as I got up there was a text from Catherine that she still felt awful and wouldn't be here at all.  Thomas had thought a bunch of others were joining us for lunch, and we felt awful about the miscommunication.  We ended up just grabbing something quick, and realized that Thomas seems to still be battling an ear infection after two rounds of antibiotics.  That can sure ramp up my anxiety!  Because we weren't stopping to eat on the way, Thomas decided to go ahead and take his cat back with him.  I appreciate that I can put my house completely back together, but it sure got quiet around here.  It's hard knowing that he is struggling with making friendships at school, and it's hard knowing that he has struggled with his classes.  In fact, both kids are working on finding their way right now, and it makes me emotional.  Coming home, the house just felt empty, and I felt like I've done a lousy job parenting.  I love these kiddos so much, and when they hurt, my heart hurts with them.  Today's rainy weather didn't help at all, either.

Thomas has decided to come home again next weekend.  I'm grateful he enjoys being here.  It's going to be a crazy week, but maybe we can having some family time this weekend!

Finally putting away Christmas

I have been trying to put away Christmas for quite some time now.  Andrew insists it wait until January 6.  Unfortunately the first week of the year is the craziest week for me between year-end at church and progress reports at school.  We finally hit January 6th on Friday, but I still had a crazy amount of work to do.  Finally on Sunday afternoon I was able to get started, but then I spent the evening at church after Andrew returned from taking Thomas to school.  I then spent Monday and Tuesday evenings at church as well, and yesterday I worked on church things after getting off work (late) at school and then headed to church again.  Last evening Andrew and I decided to relax and just enjoy an evening together.  So today, I finally get to work on the trees...and I'm hoping to have things done by Sunday.  Isn't this ridiculous?!

I'm enjoying putting things away though as it gives me another chance to cherish the memories.  Our tree is full of them and I'm grateful.  I can't help but think though, that in a few years the kids will take their ornaments, and our tree will seem so empty.  I also love the decorations that we've purchased, especially lately, and I love the decorations that were made from family members.  I'd love to get my house put back together, but I'm so grateful for the time to remember.

It's a lot

Andrew left a little over an hour ago to take Thomas back to school.  I'll be honest, I have such incredibly mixed emotions about this...about all of this.

I wrote earlier about the flooding in Catherine's apartment.  As things have developed, they have realized that the apartment basically needs to be rebuilt, and instead of hoping it might be ready when classes begin tomorrow, they have announced it will be months before it is ready.  Thomas spent Wednesday helping Catherine move all of her stuff into a different apartment, and we are so grateful that she gets to live with her roommate who has become a good friend.  She left to go back on Thursday.  I know she was ready, but it sure gets a whole lot quieter when she leaves.

Friday evening, we learned that Thomas had struggled mightily the first semester with his academics and was on probation.  We talked at length discussing various options for this coming semester, and he really wants to return.  Honestly, it was an incredibly mature discussion on the part of Thomas.  My ONLY concern about him returning is that it's a lot of money if he isn't committed to working hard and making it work.

I should mention that the first week of January is also pretty much the busiest at both of my jobs.  I worked Friday until 9:30 and worked for another couple of hours last evening after celebrating my grandmother.  Can we also take a moment to point out the emotions of celebrating her birthday?  It is WONDERFUL to get to celebrate her, but at 92 we can't help but be aware nothing in the future is guaranteed.

Catherine had met us at my grandmothers, so she drove straight back to her apartment.  When she got home, she realized that she had an email from the nursing school.  Catherine had struggled through the semester, but was able to work hard and got all her grades up to at least a "C" (and some even higher) except one class.  She passed the hands-on portion of the class, but not the classroom work.  Because that particular class is a pre-req for all the nursing classes this semester, she can't take any of them, and the class isn't offered again until the fall.  Listening to my sweet girl cry and process this was heart-breaking.  She's being incredibly proactive and reaching out with questions, inquiries, and communications, but of course it was Saturday and no one is really working.  Her classes begin tomorrow also and she isn't sure where to go from this or what to do next.  She has worked so hard, and I know that no matter what path comes next for her, she'll be fine.  Should she take the semester off?  Is there anything she can do to not lose an entire year?  It's all just so much, and as we talked to her last evening, I just couldn't help but cry myself, and I hated that she wasn't here so I could just hug her and hold her.

Later in the evening, the three of us were watching TV when Thomas announced that he had an email from his school letting him know that the heat wasn't working in his dorm, and they were planning to relocate the students.  At that point, I began to laugh hysterically.  I mean, seriously???  Are you kidding me???  Andrew and Thomas have just arrived back at the dorm and assure me that it is indeed cold and are woking on what comes next.

This is a lot of emotion folks.  And if you recall, we live in the Cincinnati area and any person who even has a marginal interest in professional football will know about the tragedy that took place this week.  The news of Damar Hamlin's recovery is miraculous, and honestly, I feel that God is using him for an amazing purpose.

I'm working on taking down my Christmas decorations today.  It seems appropriate, as doing so tends to spur emotions as well.  I appreciate the opportunity to have some time with the memories, as that is often how I feel when I put things away.  With being empty-nesters, those memories are even more poignant this year.

Praying for peace, and definitely praying for my children!  It's been a lot.

Grandma turned 92 today

 My paternal grandmother turned 92 today.  She is truly an amazing woman.  Since the day fell on a Saturday, my mom, sister, and the four of us decided to spend some time this afternoon with her.  I offered to bring in pizza, and we were all there for a couple of hours.  I could tell that my grandmother really enjoyed her afternoon with us, and she sent an email later to stating as much.  She said #92 is one she'll definitely remember.  I told her we will plan the same thing for #93!  As I told a cousin today, I suspect she'll still be with us!

The end of the season

Today is my amazing husband's birthday.  I always feel like I short change him because it is so right after the holidays, but this year I had gifts for him...actual gifts to open.  Then this morning I realized I didn't have a birthday card, so I'm still not completely on top of things.  I did at least leave the kids some cash so they could go buy him a card from them.  Anyway, in the last 90 days we have celebrated the birthdays of all four of us, and of course Thanksgiving and Christmas.  It's a crazy three month period of the year, but also my favorite.

Today also marks the end of the holiday season, as Andrew and I went back to work.  I ended up taking the morning off and I'm grateful my school was okay with it.  Six weeks ago today was the Tuesday just two days before Thanksgiving...one of my favorite days of the year.  It really kicks off the holiday season, and those six weeks are generally awesome.  It always makes today rougher, in my opinion.

We did manage to venture to our family's favorite restaurant in Cincinnati this evening.  I felt a little grumpy about it because it is such a drive, but traffic wasn't bad at all, and since neither Andrew nor I had any students, we were both able to get out of school a little early.  And the kids are home, so that made it even better.  In fact, it really was what I needed to do this evening.  I loved the dinner, I loved having all four of us at the table, and I love the fact that I am generally home early enough to get some things done.  I'm feeling grateful this evening!

Tomorrow means back to reality

Tomorrow means back to work for Andrew and I, although neither of us have students.  I'll be honest, this was probably my least favorite two-week break ever.  The drama from Robert a couple of days before Christmas was only part of it.  Working so much at church before Christmas was only part of it.  The church project has been absolutely ridiculous, and I've not been pleased about it.

On Tuesday we found out Catherine's apartment was completely flooded.  Remember when I mentioned last week's weather?  Well the third floor turned off the heat, and when the pipe burst the water could only go down...until it hit the first floor and had nowhere else to go.  It's going to take a month or so to really get the apartment livable again.  She is close enough that she can stay here and commute or they will put her into temporary housing, so she'll figure that out.  We also attended a surprise party that evening for our good friend, but one of the other friends passed out and we had to call an ambulance.  He appears to be fine, but it was scary.  Catherine had a shredded flat tire on her way Friday to picking up her college roommate before New Year's Eve.  Fortunately a good samaritan came along and helped her out.  Thomas has had drama with his girlfriend, although that seems to be resolving.  We've had four cats here, my mom's furnace stopped working, and I feel like I could go on, and on.  Part of me is looking forward to going back to work and getting back into a routine, and part of me wants to cry because I feel exhausted and not at all ready to resume craziness again.

Today I spent the day catching up on budgeting items and laundry, and watching college football, and now the much anticipated Bengals/Bills game.  It makes it not feel like a Monday, and I'm grateful that it will be a short week in that accord.  Still looking forward to making 2023 a great year.

The first day of 2023

Here we are at another year.  Our "Midnight" was pretty anti-climatic as we actually celebrated shortly after Midnight since at Midnight we were watching the OSU kicker miss a field goal (and he missed miserably)...so really "celebrating" isn't the right word.  It was a great game though.

It was nice to ring in the New Year with such good friends, even if the game didn't go the way we wanted.  Unfortunately, Thomas and his girlfriend's relationship has brought drama again, and I'm feeling beat down and defeated.  We are going to celebrate Christmas with my mom and sister today though, and I'm hoping it brings some joy to our day.  And we still have 364 more days this year to make it a great year.