It's catching up to me

Last night's lack of sleep has really caught up with me this evening.  Of course, it doesn't help that today was a rather draining day.  Talking to Thomas this morning on the phone about his time at scout camp literally made me cry (again, lack of sleep)!  He was asking about his sister (whom he adores) and about his beloved stuffed animals and how I was taking care of them.  I know that he'll be very happy to be reunited with all this evening, and I love how LOVING that little guy is.

I was also very emotional about my Dad today and everything he's been through, and I also learned it's been a very rough couple of weeks for him.  I hadn't been hearing from him at all in emails (how we usually communicate) and I wasn't sure what was going on.  I had asked if we could bring dinner in this past Saturday because it's been three weeks since we've seen him, but Mom had said that he decided he wasn't up to it.  I was NOT AT ALL comfortable leaving on vacation without seeing him and so I had asked if we might be able to stop in quickly Thursday afternoon.   That was when I learned that he is sleeping most days in the 16-18 hour range and some days it's even more than that.  I think anyone could realize that isn't a good thing.  The lung doctor is fairly certain that it's Dad's heart, although they did some blood work and another chest x-ray just to be certain.  Fortunately, he did agree to allow me to bring the kids by this week for a few minutes.

We also ended up having a full house here this evening.  Our good friends returned from vacation Friday evening to find that their hot water heater wasn't working.  They had expected it to be repaired today, but now tomorrow is best case scenario.  She had called and asked if it would be possible for her to take a shower at our house this afternoon, and as things unfolded we were able to work in not only Jen but all four kids.  It was very nice to visit since it had been quite some time, and I also enjoyed visiting with the kids.

Andrew and Thomas should be home within the next hour or so.  I'm so looking forward to having them home...and then to bed!

Best news I've had all day

I'm having a bit of a rough day here.  It's due mostly to the fact that at 3AM I was still wide awake.  There seemed to be absolutely nothing I could do to sleep last night.  I tried all my normal "sleep" techniques, but to no avail.  I was all set to allow myself to sleep in this morning because we have nothing scheduled, but when I woke up this morning I couldn't go back to sleep.  Ugh!!!!!

I also suspect it has to do with the date.  Seventeen years ago today (also on a Tuesday) my father went to the doctor and was diagnosed with pneumonia...although that was just the beginning of the journey he's been on for the last seventeen years.  The last year has been a year of tremendous decline for him...more so perhaps than any other.  He has had two lengthy hospitalizations and they've taken quite a toll on him.  On the upside, he still talks a great deal about the future and he always talks about next year.  I, on the other hand, find myself not as optimistic about the future with him, and prefer to focus on him in the now.  It doesn't help that I have a friend here in town who's father was diagnosed with the same disease this past winter, and he passed away Saturday.

I'm also finding myself completely overwhelmed by the impending move, and the fact that we are leaving for vacation in four days!  I know it certainly isn't the best of timing, but we weren't planning on moving!  When I think about the amount of work that needs to be accomplished, along with having two house payments, AND I won't be working, I actually sometimes find it takes my breath away and I can't breathe.  I know it's all going to work out, but yikes!

And of course there is the fact that Andrew and Thomas are at scout camp.  I've really, really missed them, although I got to speak to them Sunday evening and again this morning.  They are having a blast and I think Thomas has grown up a great deal in these couple of days.  And they are part of the best news I've had all day...they've decided that instead of coming home tomorrow morning, they are coming home tonight!  Apparently camp officially ends at 10:00 this evening and there is literally nothing, not even breakfast, tomorrow morning.  Because most groups travel a distance many will leave in the morning, but since our group is less than 30 minutes away from home, the adults all decided that sleeping in their own beds sounded like a better idea and they will pack today and come home tonight.  It will be so great to give them hugs!!!!

On my own

Andrew and Thomas have just left for scout camp.  I'll be honest, I almost cried!  When Robert leaves, I have complete confidence that everything is going to be great and I know that he is going to have a wonderful time.  The "baby" leaves though, and I feel like I can't breathe!  Totally overreacting, I know!  Thomas has been so excited about this.  The first question he asked when he got up this morning was "What time do I leave for camp?"  I'm so grateful my husband is able to go with him...I'm not sure I could handle this if he wasn't going to be there.  I'm completely ridiculous and I accept that.  Praying they have good weather, are safe, and have lots of fun!

Not cut out for this

I am clearly not cut out for all of this moving stuff!  I'll just be glad when we are able to close on the other house and it's official...nothing else to worry about (except owning TWO houses)!  Yesterday I gave my "official" notification to the school that I wouldn't be returning as a sub (I use quotes because I'm a sub after all...nothing major).  It's very flattering to be told over and over how missed I'll be, but it also makes me sad at how much I'm personally leaving behind.  The superintendent even came out and reiterated how sad they were to see me leave and to see our family leave the district.  I'm glad that part is over.  Right now we are also trying to get Andrew and Thomas ready for scout camp...yikes!  As much as Robert LOVES scout camp each year, I'm not at all sure that Thomas is going to be as enthused throughout the week.  We'll just see I suppose!  In the meantime, I've got plenty to do and it shouldn't involve sitting here at the computer!

'Tis hot!

Yes, it's a scorcher here!  I just checked and the heat index is 101 degrees.  Yikes!  This is the fifth or sixth day that we've reached 90 or above.  I haven't really payed much attention to it because, thankfully, I haven't had to be out in it terribly much.  Although on Wednesday when we came back from retrieving the kids from my in-laws, I did need to take a bath before we left for a scouting function even though I had been sitting in an air conditioned car all afternoon...that's how hot it was!  Andrew and Thomas leave for three days of scout camp on Sunday, but it should be a little cooler by then.

I would really like to get up in our attics and start going through things, but this weather doesn't seem to be the time to do that.  So far I've got five boxes packed...still not sure how this is all going to work out, but it will eventually!

Working hard

Today a lot got done around here.  I began packing and got several boxes packed.  It's still challenging to pack because the entire place is such a mess that we have no place to stage the boxes once I pack them, but by packing some empty boxes that are in the garage I'm hoping that can begin to be the staging area.  Of course I ran out of packing tape so I'll need to run and get more tomorrow.  In fact, I'm pretty sure that the number of errands I need to run tomorrow will prevent me from having a productive day at home.  Needs to be done though.  I also got some more painting done, and Andrew was able to get some prep work done for some outside painting.  He was also able to chop down some bushes and get the yard mowed.  Normally mowing the yard isn't a noteworthy event, but we've had some mower issues around here lately so it's nice to be able to say it's done.  Overall, there is still a feeling of not knowing where to start and since moving is still over a month away I'm not sure that I should really start.  At the same time, it's not like there is a whole lot of free time over the next month so we DO need to get started.  It will all work out...I keep telling myself that!

Feeling...yeah, that.

That pretty much sums of my feelings these days!  It's overall a good thing though...we are blessed with opportunities in abundance!  Between our house being torn up and needing to pack, lots to do...so much that I feel completely overwhelmed, don't know where to start (or continue) and so I do nothing (except sit here and blog about it)!  I REALLY want to start packing, but because the house is so torn up from improvement projects that have been started, we don't really have a place to stack the boxes that would be out of the way.  I ought to finish some of the projects, but I've kind of reached a point where I need my husband's help and he's out and about these days working on getting the purchase of our "second" home finalized.  And don't even get me started on how I'm feeling about having two house payments when I won't be working at all for a good part of this year.  For people who are NEVER risk takers...this is a big leap!

And yet I also have a complete sense of peace that this is what is right for our family, and we are very excited about our new adventures.  That is the feeling I TRY to hold onto, but sometimes it slips.  We'll get there though!