Our special day as a family

This is the special day we celebrate as a family each year...our official day as a family.  I am so thankful for the blessings that are my life everyday, but today is the reminder that it really is a gift. 

I've been so emotional this week, and honestly, it's been the hardest week, hands down, that I've ever had as a parent.  Today is a day of celebration though, and we certainly have celebrated!  In their games this morning, Catherine and Thomas each got to score their first points of the season.  Unfortunately, both teams lost, but I'm grateful they each got a basket in.  Robert came in third in the league in his dive competition this morning.  We are celebrating third place, even though there were only three competitors in the entire league. :)  All of this happened prior to 11:00 so we had lunch at Bob Evans and then Andrew has taken the kids to the university basketball games and I'm home for a while before I have to work at the swim meet this evening.  These days are insanely busy, but I'm so grateful for the business.  Andrew and I joke how we used to think as a newly married couple that we were so busy...and then when the kids were younger we realized how busy we were NOT as a newly married couple.  Now that the kids are older and there are so many opportunities, we realize how NOT busy we were when they were younger!  I wouldn't trade any of this...not the ups, downs, or anything in between!

A very unexpected day at home

This morning it was about ten minutes before Catherine was to get on the bus when our phone rang...we were on a school delay.  Yesterday things had been fairly icy so we assumed it was that, and there also seemed to be a fresh dusting of snow.  I really thought nothing about it and went back to sleep...although we did realize it was unbelievably late to be making that call.  Less than an hour later I was awakened again by the phone ringing...school was closed.  We were absolutely stunned.  None of the school districts around us were even delayed, and that includes very rural districts that close at the drop of a hat.  As the day progressed, apparently we had a heck of a snow burst that hit around 5:45/6:00 this morning creating almost blizzard like conditions for a brief period of time.  The buses had already gone out and picked up kids, but were radioing back to the garage that the roads were dangerous and unsafe.  Because this wasn't in the forecast there was absolutely no pre-treatment, and the the salt trucks and drivers weren't even prepared to go out because it hadn't been expected, so the delay didn't provide enough time for things to be cleared.  It's really the most bizarre snow day ever!  And give the fact that there is somewhere around 3-6" forecasted for Sunday I'm thinking we have a decent shot at a four day weekend!

The conversation made me cry

We had kind of a crazy evening today as Robert had a dive meet this evening.  It was here in town, which is what made it a little crazy as we wanted to get there to watch.  As we are scrambling for dinner preparedness, Catherine mentions that there was an announcement while she was in ELA that no one was allowed to leave their classrooms and they were all to remains where they were.  Apparently it was a drug search, but she is unclear of the details, so obviously so am I.  She did tell me though, that her ELA teacher mentioned that had it been made known there was an "active shooter" (the current PC words) that he and another student (I'm uncertain as to why this particular student) would be helping everyone to jump out the windows (they are on the first floor) and they are all to run to the nearest house.  She was very matter-of-fact about the entire thing, but it made me sick to my stomach and I left the room to cry.  I get the reality...this is a conversation her teacher needed to have with them.  It's the fact that it is indeed a reality that makes me sick and cry.  Sending up extra prayers for peace.

Ridiculously giddy about my new curtains

When we moved into this house, there was only one set of window treatments in the entire place...denim blue valances over the living room bay window.  They matched beautifully with the denim blue couch that had been left for us by the previous owners, and I hated them both.  The couch was replaced shortly after we moved in, but I was having the most difficult time finding valances that I liked.  To start, I needed something with color because the walls are all off-white, and I wanted something that could stand out.  At the same time, I wanted something with rather neutral colors because I like things to be versatile.  They also needed to have 3" rod openings, and the few I could find that I liked didn't meet that requirement.  Finally last week I ordered some that I really like, and when I saw on the shipping tracking that they were scheduled to arrive yesterday, I almost couldn't contain my excitement!  When the box arrived late afternoon I immediately opened them and was literally giddy about putting them up.  Unfortunately, it was at least a two person job (and at times it required four of us) and it was about dinner time, so it had to wait.  They finally got up about 7:00 last night, and I absolutely could not be happier about them.  I love them!!!!!  It is such a small and minor change, and honestly there is a good chance that people who have been here before aren't even going to notice that they've changed.  But I know, and I'm thrilled.  I have never been this excited about curtains before!

I feel weary

I'll be honest, I am feeling weary these days, and it's why I haven't written lately.  I feel beat down, high on anxiety, and honestly a little lost.  I can handle many behaviors from my children...sneakiness and deceitfulness are not among those.  I simply have no tolerance or patience for lying.  I am absolutely no where near being a perfect parent.  I certainly have had times in life when I didn't even feel like a "good" parent, but our expectations regarding honesty have always been clear...it is one of the few parenting certainties I have.  And I certainly don't think our expectations are hypocritical since Andrew and I tell the truth.  Dealing with Robert and Catherine and the continuous, almost automatic lies (and in Catherine's case, the unbelievable temper that follows being caught) has zapped me to the core of my soul.  I don't mean to sound overly dramatic, but I'm spent.  I haven't even answered the phone today because I'm not certain I have the emotional stamina to deal with whatever may be on the other end (there is also family drama happening in my mother's family that I will not be disclosing...just typical family crap).  The fact that my volunteer job as treasurer has been made more difficult in spite of my efforts to communicate and provide a simpler method is just enough to push me over the edge.  The frigid temps keeping us indoors don't help either, although I am grateful for the abundant sunshine today.

I will say that one upside to all of this is that all of it has certainly brought out the praying in me.  It's almost a constant dialogue these days between praying for guidance, peace, strength, and many other things, I do feel closer to God!

Married with children

No, this isn't about the TV show (a show which I can't stand, by the way).  It's about this current phase in life.  Andrew and I have always been good about keeping our marriage strong.  We've always been good about communicating and not always putting the children in front of the marriage...we feel that is very important.  At the same time, I am beginning to understand how, if a couple isn't careful, after the kids are grown there is suddenly a disconnect and you feel as though you are living with a stranger.  Please know, our marriage is NOT in any kind of trouble, it's just a realization of the next phase of our life...and by realizing we can be proactive.  And also, please know there will be NO over disclosure here!

When the kids were little, Andrew and I found it very easy to have a date night.  Even though we didn't want to pay for a sitter terribly often, the kids went to bed fairly early.  There was a nice restaurant in town that had fabulous ribeye steaks, and we would often bring them in and have a late dinner as our date night.  Theoretically, as the kids got older, it should've been easier...and for a couple of years it was.  They were old enough to be left alone long enough for us to grab a quick dinner.  Then however, some trust issues occurred and that became more challenging...and now it's just down right tough.  With the kids (particularly Robert) being old enough to have their own schedules and plans, we need to be available to transport which can make a date night difficult.  There is also the fact that the kids now stay up significantly later.  Although they've done that for a few years, now, Robert especially, is old enough to want to watch the same TV shows that we watch.  We enjoy his company, but at the same time our evening chat time of just Andrew and I is gone.  I'm not complaining that Robert is joining us, it's just a change and something that Andrew and I need to pay attention to...we need to make sure that we are making time to be a couple and communicate.  I know that it will happen and I know that we'll be fine, but it's a new realization for me!

I know it won't last, but we will take it while we've got it!

Andrew and I have spoken quite a bit about the peace that is in our house right now...particularly with the teenagers.  I know that this isn't going to last forever, but oh, it's so great right now!  Believe it or not, Robert is just about my favorite person in the whole world.  He has his "friend" Elizabeth, who I'm pretty sure is the greatest thing since sliced bread.  Andrew and I are actually a little disappointed that she isn't allowed to date...she is a fabulous influence on our son!  Instead of the mopey, moody, and sneaky teen that lives in our house, we have a happy, fun-loving, actually reads-his-texts-to-me teen because he thinks Elizabeth is so funny and wants to share what she writes.

We know this isn't going to last forever...not even close.  There are still hundreds of poor choices in his future.  There are still going to be days when I pray that we figure out how to get through each day.  There are going to be days when I cry and worry about the future for him...but those days aren't today.  He is making good choices, and we've talked about how much more freedoms and happiness there is in life when we can trust his choices.  For right now, we are just going to soak it all in!