Leap Day 2024

I have to admit, I've never been a fan of an extra day in February.  I don't really love the month of February, and I see no need to add an extra day.  I totally get that it is necessary from a science standpoint, but it's just not what I love.

We had a lovely family evening though.  Honestly, there has been lots of craziness in our lives...more than I can really describe.  But our evenings are bringing such joy.  Catherine stays here Sunday-Friday.  I can't even explain how much we are enjoying it.  It's helping Catherine to manage things much better with her health and responsibilities.  

We are in a phase where I have no idea what comes next...pretty much every day.  And for that very reason, I'm so grateful for the lovely evenings we have right now!

The reunion none of us wanted to happen

Today I returned to my hometown for the services for Scotty, my soccer-playing classmate who passed away two weeks ago.  I was dreading it, as one would.  I wish so much I had asked Andrew to go with me, but I knew he really didn't want to.  As I left, the first song that came on Pandora was John Denver's "Take me Home, Country Roads", followed by Patty Loveless's "How Can I Help You Say Goodbye?"  Wow.  The last song playing as I pulled into the driveway was Garth Brooks "The Dance".  The music got me today.

There were so many people there that it was so wonderful to see.  So many classmates, especially from those soccer days.  Those guys were special.  Our soccer coach was there.  Parents of classmates.  Oh goodness, it was son wonderful to see so many people, but as I said to many, it was the reunion none of us wanted to have.  The parents of my sister's classmate who passed away 2-1/2 years ago were there, and I'm sure it was tough to have to see everyone gathering.  One classmate mentioned how he hated these things since his dad had passed, which was 32 years ago right after we graduated.  Scotty and I were working together that summer and I remembered how devastated Scotty was that happened.  The whole thing was awful and beautiful all at the same time.  I couldn't bring myself to stay for the actual service.  I'm beyond drained as it is.

Happenings in our house

I changed the background to reflect our weather here...snow!  It's our first REAL snowstorm of the year.  It started last yesterday afternoon and was an absolutely beautiful evening as we got to watch the snow come down.  We received just over 4".  The sun is out today, and without a cloud in the sky, it melted the snow off our sidewalk and driveway.  And we had no place to drive, so it was all absolutely wonderful.  It was so peaceful.

Yesterday was also the first day off of our four-day weekend.  It is so very, very needed.  I'll be honest, part of the reason I've avoided writing is that life has been a little crazy lady.  As I told my mom when she asked how things have been, it's been very up and down around here.  We've both had craziness at our jobs.  Not necessarily bad things, but definitely some added stress in various aspects.  Additionally, my mom has two surgeries in the next 60 days.  I don't mind helping my mother and I want to be there for her, but medial issues are definitely not my strong suit.  And the death of my high-school classmate has weighed on me more than I can describe.

Most of the up & down though, has been the kids.  As they are both adults, I'm hesitant to write too much, especially as health issues are involved.  It's not my story.  I don't want to be overly dramatic, so I will say that overall, everyone is okay and nothing is imminently life threatening.  Follow ups are required, but more than anything else, my kids just need to learn to make better choices as they go through life.  To be honest, sometimes their choices are not only immature, but at times they are downright astonishing.  I'm ready for some "young-adult-drama-free" days in our future.  I'm sure we will get there.

I'm hoping as the days get a little longer, we will all find a few more reasons to smile.  In the meantime, I'm enjoying the coziness of the snow!

An anniversary trip

I know I've been pretty quiet lately.  There has been a lot going on, and most of it is very time-consuming and somewhat emotional.  I'm sure it will all be okay though.  It's just a bit of a rough season of life, coinciding with the rough season of dreary gray January/February.

A week ago though, was our anniversary.  We won't be taking a vacation this year for a variety of reasons.  We decided that we could take a simple weekend (and maybe more than one) instead.  I had seen that the Pro Football Hall of Fame was having a Special Steelers Exhibit, so we decided a trip to Canton was in order!  I booked a very reasonable motel, and we were so excited to make the trip.  It was absolutely the perfect time to get away from the sadness and emotions that are here, and to leave the responsibilities behind, just for forty-eight (not even) hours.  We loved that we had no schedule all weekend.  We could eat when we wanted, sleep when we wanted, drink when we wanted.  The Hall of Fame only took a couple of hours to go through and that gave us time to just hang out.  It was absolutely wonderful, and the time could not have been better! 

The first one always seems to be the hardest

I grew up as a fan of the Cincinnati Reds during the Big Red Machine.  Those were great years, and the eight starters were quite a collection of Hall of Famers (they should ALL be in the hall) and were know as the 'Great Eight'.  I remember how awful it felt when Joe Morgan died, not just because it was sad he had passed away, but because the Great Eight could never be together again, at least on this side of Heaven.  I felt the same way when Matthew Perry passed away in October.  It was not just losing such a part of our culture, but the six Friends could never be together again.  It is happening again, although on a far more personal level.  In high school, I was a stat for the boys' soccer team.  Our team had quite a dynasty going at the time, and was even ranked first in the state at times.  We made it to the state final four twice, regional finals (final 8) our senior year, and regional semi-finals (final 16) once.  Several classmates of mine played varsity as freshman. and the best player on the team was Scotty.  He was was named second-team All American our senior year and went on to play college soccer.  The last regular season game of our senior year, a photographer captured a picture of the nine senior guys who played that year, and they grabbed me to join in the pic.  I love that photo, and it hangs on my wall to this day.  Over a decade after we graduated, Scotty was named head coach, and eventually coached a team not only to the state title game, but to the first state soccer title in school history.  As a teammate said, it was only fitting that the title team was coached by the greatest player who ever wore the uniform.  Two weeks ago, Scotty had an incident that led to him being in a diabetic coma.  We were all encouraged by the progress that was being made, but overnight he had a cardiac event.  He was revived, but doctors confirmed today that he won't be able to recover.  It's heartbreaking.  His father passed away just last week.  I can't imagine how his brother is coping.  I keep looking at that picture from our senior year.  Even though we haven't all been in the same place since the day we graduated, knowing that it can never happen again adds to the sadness.  Prayers to his family.

Our favorite day as a family

As we do every year on this date, we celebrated our family today.  Catherine was especially excited about it, and brought the sweetest gifts and wrote us the most thoughtful notes.  I will treasure it always.  I am always grateful beyond words to be their parents, but as each year passes and we reach this date, the gifts and blessings of being our little family seem even more amazing.  I'll never know how we got so lucky!

This has been a rough day

Today was one of those Wednesdays where I knew I would be working all day.  The Head of School was out which also meant I would be doing a VERY wet carline.  My co-worker and I sat down shortly after carline to begin a meeting about some HR issues, when suddenly there was a knock at the door, and my heart sank as my teary-eyed, 20-year-old son walked in.  I asked what he was doing there, and he informed me he had just been fired.  Oh my goodness, my heart absolutely broke for my sweet son.  He really, really liked his job, but the manager had left about a month ago, and Thomas hadn't really gelled with the guy who was the supervisor.  The manager had really gone to bat for Thomas on several occasions, but that was no longer a level of protection Thomas had without the store manager.  Did Thomas make mistakes?  Of course he did.  He's 19/20 while working there, and is not only new to the industry, but is working his first full time job.  His dismissal "cause" was given that he didn't complete his tasks.  For example, there was a time when hoses were frozen and he couldn't do what he had been asked to do.  He let the supervisor know verbally, but of course, there is no documentation/paper trail.  If my child perfect, was he a perfect worker?  Of course not.  But he always showed up to each shift 20 minutes early, never called off, and seemed to have a good rapport with his co-workers and customers.

My co-workers were wonderful and gave me as much time as I needed with Thomas.  It was such a blessing that the timing of this happened to coincide with Andrew having a plan period, so I was able to call him and put him on speaker phone.  We both told Thomas how proud we are of him for getting a job right after his classes finished and for how hard he worked.  My heart broke for my son, but I was so grateful that we have the relationship we do and that he knew he could go to his mom at a time like that.  I also pointed out to him how proud I am that he didn't go into debt with big dollar signs.  He has lost this job and it stinks, but he's not on the hook for a car payment or anything major.

Later in the day, Thomas received a phone call about the car he purchased the day his job started.  Andrew had gone with him to handle everything, but a month ago it had started making a strange noise.  We had it towed to a dealership because it is still under warranty.  Sure enough though, they are trying to claim neglect on the part of Thomas, which is crazy because he had the vehicle only 60 days before it stopped running right.  He is upset because they are telling him might be on the hook for a MAJOR repair, and he just lost his job.  We've assured him we are here to help, and that is what parents are for.  He didn't just buy a vehicle willy nilly and show up and surprise us.  He researched what he wanted, found a decent deal, and involved us in each step of the way.  Basically, his day has just completely sucked.  Did I mention his fish died also?

As I drove home from work to spend the evening with my kiddo, I really wanted to cry.  Andrew voiced it best when he called (he's working a basketball game this evening), we are so tired of seeing our kids struggle.  They struggled with classes and they've struggled to make friends.  There are times they have struggled with dating choices.  Maybe all parents feel this way, but it sure doesn't feel like it.  My co-worker told me we were so awesome as parents for guiding, and that our kids know they can come to us.  Honestly, it doesn't feel that way at all.  There are so many times it feels they just get dumped on, and I feel like an absolutely lousy parent.  I feel like I haven't helped them figure out how to be successful, and just when I think we are on the right road, a roadblock happens.  I know not every day is going to be rosy for my kids, and I know it isn't my job to fix everything for them.  I just love them so incredibly much and I want them to feel their lives are as blessed as mine has been.  As my mother says, tomorrow this will feel better, and I 100% believe it when I tell Thomas this will all work out.