You just never know

Over a decade ago, I had a friend. We'll call him Joe for this story. Joe and I had been friends since high school, all through college and into early adulthood. We were friends during his parents' divorce, the death of another friend, and sat with each other supporting yet another friend who was fighting leukemia (and won!). However, he often had problems treating people with respect, and that included me. Many, many instances occurred over the years, and finally I'd just had enough. There was no big blow up or argument or instance, I just stopped contact. It wasn't that difficult since his fiance' (now wife) didn't like me anyway. Being from a small town I still heard updates about him occasionally, and it was painfully awkward when I ran into him and his wife about a year after contact had ended. Five years later, his grandfather passed away. I knew that Joe had been very close to his grandfather and sent a sympathy card to both him and his parents because it seemed like the right thing to do. I'd often wondered though, if it had been the right thing to do...I certainly wasn't trying to cause any additional pain. Recently, he contacted me. I've never been a person to hold a grudge, and I'd long ago been done being angry. I'm not saying I'm a saint, I just don't believe in staying angry...it isn't worth the energy and I move on. This past Sunday was his birthday, and I just sent a quick email wishing him happy birthday. He wrote back thanking me for the birthday wishes, and then the next part stunned me. He said that for a long time he had been wanting to thank me for the sympathy card I'd sent and that it had always meant a lot to him. I just sat there looking at the screen...this was somewhat out of character for the Joe that I knew...opening up and putting words to his feelings. As I told my wonderful husband last evening, I sent that card six years ago, and it was still important enough for him to mention now. I don't think there is going to be any grand reconciliation between Joe and I after all of these years, but I'm grateful we've had this contact. It's nice to know that if we happen to run into each other, it will be less awkward. It really made me think. You just never know how much a simple gesture, something like sending a card, will mean to people. You just never know.