Decisions for our family

I do not always make popular decisions. By that, I mean I do not always make decisions that are popular in my home (fact of life), that are popular by the students I'm teaching on a particular day (usually means I've done a good job), or even that are considered common by our culture. While I don't necessarily dislike something just for the sake of disliking it because it's popular, I also don't happen to go along with something just because it's the popular or current line of thinking. As far as I can remember, I've always been this way, and I know without a doubt, that I get this from my mother. I can remember shopping for clothes as a child, probably about the age that JC is now. In the 1980's Jordache jeans were all the rage and "everyone" was wearing them. I can vividly remember standing at Lazarus (today would be Macy's) and my mother informing me that there was absolutely no reason to pay that price for a pair of Jordache jeans when another pair could be purchased for half the price. The quality was the same, the extra $$$ was just for the label. I suspect (although I don't remember) that I was disappointed, but I do remember that it really made perfect sense to me. I don't remember asking for certain brands of anything, at least until I got to high school and "had" to have certain shoes. I also remember my mother telling me that she would pay a certain amount for shoes/clothes/etc, and I would pay the difference if I wanted a certain brand. At this point my kids are not into the "have-to-have" brands, although I'm sure it won't be long before JC and JR start to notice such things. My answer to them will probably be the same as my mother's answer to me...it really makes one decide if one really needs that brand or if there is some other preferred way to spend the money. Now as an adult, we have a wii, but no xbox or any other gaming system (we know of a family that has at least three separate gaming systems...seriously??!!) and my children do not have cell phones or email accounts, nor are they on any social sites. We might be the meanest parents ever! However, not only do I think there are better ways to spend money than purchasing expensive video systems and other electronics, but I also feel that my children get plenty of screen time with their hand held video games and the little amount of television they are allowed to watch. Do I worry that my children are missing out? ABSOLUTELY NOT! Instead they find the time to read a book or go outside, or any number of other things that require imagination, creativity, and other important things.

This lack of "popular" decisions extends beyond material things, but also to how we choose to spend our time. We have very close friends who never deprive their children of any opportunity. They could have every inch of every square full on their calendar, but if another activity was requested, they would figure out a way to work it in. I understand that is how they choose to spend their time and I respect that. That, however, is not how our family functions. For instance, our week is a little busy. I was gone Monday evening, and last evening my husband had a meeting after school, then was home long enough to change clothes before taking HT to (and coaching) basketball practice. Tomorrow he leaves for Columbus and won't be home until Friday evening. Saturday we have plans to attend a holiday party and have a sitter lined up, then he's back to Columbus Sunday morning until Tuesday evening, when he'll rush home for basketball practice again. Tonight and next Wednesday are UD games for which he has tickets, and next Thursday we have an orthodontist appointment after school before we attend HT's Christmas show in the evening. My husband decided to skip the UD tonight in order to be home with us before he leaves. This Friday, HT's scouts have their annual Christmas dinner. We've gone in past years, but my husband and I discussed it last night and decided to stay home this year. We decided that instead, we wanted to be able to spend some time as a family, just the five of us, and are planning to watch Frosty the Snowman on CBS together. We are excited about this, and so are the kids. Our friends asked if they would be seeing us at the scout dinner, and we explained that we were choosing to spend the evening as a family. Our friends were absolutely aghast! They pointed out that we would be together as a family at the dinner. We explained that we wanted to spend time with just our family, and that since all of the kids have been sick we thought it best to have a quiet, quality evening at home. They then offered, since HT had been sick last week not this week, and apparently they felt as though we were depriving him, if we wanted us to pick him up and take him with them. This happens quite a bit. I politely explained that would defeat the purpose of a quiet family evening, and thanked them for their offer. I know that my kids are far from perfect, but I also know that they are wonderful, and only young for a little while. I want them to look back and not have memories of running from activity to activity, always being in a car, or of having a stressed mom & dad who are trying to fit it all in (not to mention worrying about how to pay for it all). I have wonderful childhood memories of evenings together as a family, and that is what I want for my kids. I love watching them laugh, and I love sharing a movie together, or even better, a board game. I realize that our decisions may not be popular, and these days they aren't common, but they are what we feel is best for our family.