I've changed my blog background to green for St. Patrick's Day. I don't particularly love it, so I'll probably change it very soon, but today is green day. As the kids were getting dressed for church this morning, I noticed that none of them were wearing green. I thought about reminding them, but ultimately there wasn't really time to change so I decided to just let it go. Probably not the nicest decision as a mom, but it is what it is.
Sundays have become my quiet time in the mornings. Andrew takes the kids to church and I stay home. To be totally honest, it's a very tough situation for me. I have come to realize that I have way too many differences in philosophy and beliefs to regularly attend the Catholic church with him. I am filled with guilt over that fact, but every time I attend I feel either angry or beaten up, and neither is the way I wish to feel after church. I completely and totally support Andrew being there, and while I am at times less than enthused with my children being raised this way, I made a commitment that they would be and I stand by that. Don't get me wrong, the Catholic church stands for many, many wonderful things, and the things with which I disagree, for the most part, Andrew disagrees as well. However, he tends not to take it "personally" as I apparently do. I long to attend the Methodist church here in town, but I've never been good about attending church by myself. In the meantime, in the solitude of my quiet Sunday mornings, I honestly feel more in touch with God and feel a greater sense of peace than I would by attending church where it just upsets me. It's not an ideal situation, but it's one that works for us for now.
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