Why the bus was late

Every Wednesday our school district has a 45 minute early release.  I used to think this was ridiculous, but since on a normal day Thomas gets home from school around 4:40, I'm learning to like his more "normal" arrival time on Wednesday.  Yesterday, however, his bus was over 15 minutes late in arriving.  When he got off the bus I jokingly asked him if the bus had gotten lost and he replied, "Yes".  I was a little shocked!  They have had a substitute bus driver all week, but yesterday's driver was a different one then the first two days.  I heard another boy tell the same story that Thomas told to me.  Apparently while the driver was holding the map (remember, no a/c on a school bus!) and driving, he lost his grip and the map flew out the window.  So this man was stuck asking a busload of elementary students where he was supposed to go next.  My goodness!  Just glad Thomas made it home safely!

This year's beginning of school

  The moving truck pulled out of our new drive way just 35 hours before the first bus pulled up for the first day of school.  Not going to lie...that was R.O.U.G.H.  I was very adamant however, that things would be ready for them.  We had clothes packed in suitcases so as not to get misplaced and their backpacks were a priority in knowing, always, where they were.  And I might even say from an emotional standpoint, that being so unbelievably crazy busy the weekend before didn't leave me much time to dwell on the changes...no time to worry about them.

That didn't stop the tears from being shed the morning of school though.  Don't worry, only by me!  My first huge leap of faith was putting them on the school bus.  Someone else was driving my babies to school???  Then of course, for Catherine and Thomas, was the fact that EVERYTHING was completely new to them...even the lunch routines which were so automatic at the old school...everything.  I was, in some ways, grateful that I needed to drive back to the old house and that I spent the day packing and cleaning there.  It gave no time to be sad or melancholy about the changes.

I picked Catherine up from school (Robert had cross country practice) and she was so excited about her day.  She made a new friend and enjoyed everything about her day.  She was incredibly responsible with all of the forms that needed to be turned in, and overall she just had a great day.  I was so glad to have at least one of my kiddos back with me!  It was another two hours before I could get Thomas off the bus.  When he saw me out the window his face absolutely lit up, and he began to wave.  He almost ran off the bus and ran to me and threw his arms around me for a big hug.  He announced that he'd had a "fabulous" day, and I was so grateful.  Robert also reported a great first day (which as much enthusiasm/excitement an almost fourteen-year-old can muster...and don't be surprised how little that is) and our first week went smoothly.  In all honestly, I think I had more problem with the changes then the kids!

Updated:  I for got to mention...the beginning of our school year was so insane I even forgot to take first day pictures, in spite of making sure I knew where the camera would be.  I took pictures the next day, but still not quite the same!

My love-hate relationship with the school bus

I am not at all in love with the kids riding the school bus.  Don't get me wrong, I am very grateful that they do ride the bus, because the alternative of me driving to and from school each day is NOT appealing.  This is particularly true now that the college students have returned (definitely a post for another day).  However, I'm not loving that we live where my kids can't just walk to and from school.  In fact, in my entire life, I've lived within a block of where I (or my kids) went to school (the exception to this would be high school, but of course by then everyone has friends that drive).  Our first pick up is Robert and Catherine at 6:40 (UGH!).  They only have to walk to the drive way across the street, and their bus driver is fabulous.  Love her!  Thomas is another story.  He has to walk to the opposite end of our block, and with the curve in the road I can't see him.  The bus currently has a 20 minute swing in when it may arrive to get him (hence the reason he missed it once last week), although I'm hoping by next week there is some consistency regarding the time (the neighbors' stories do not give me hope in this regard).  And then there is the fact that this driver is NOT a warm and fuzzy, or even pleasant, person.  As an introvert, I also do not love the fact that I am forced to share 20 minutes of my morning with strangers (could I be more self-centered?!) nor do I enjoy the fact that we don't have control of when to leave for school.  At the same time, I am grateful I don't have to drive them...so yes, I have a love-hate relationship with the school bus!

Adjustment coordinator

Andrew and I have decided that my new job title is "adjustment coordinator".  The pay?  Well, hopefully in the long run it is a healthy and adjusted family!

We are on the path to that.  School has started and everyone seems to be adjusting well.  Catherine and Thomas have already made friends, and of course I've already started worrying about the friends they've made.  Internet, cable, and telephone were FINALLY installed on Saturday, so I'm at a point where I can once again communicate with the outside world.  We can also finally move our furniture into place (we couldn't previously due to a TV antenna to receive one channel) and since the furniture is in place we can actually begin to unpack.  Of course, things like school work, cooking meals, and laundry still need to be accomplished as well!  I'm so grateful to Andrew for not only supporting me not working until at least January, but nearly insisting on it.  His parents are coming to visit in 18 days so that is my somewhat self imposed deadline to make the house look like we did not just move into it yesterday.  Sadly, nine days later, that it still what it looks like here.  We will get there though!

We've moved

Just checking in quickly to let everyone know that we've moved and the kids began school today.  My husband and I are absolutely exhausted because of course absolutely nothing went according to plan this weekend, but we made it through.  I don't have internet at the new house and probably won't for a week (I'm currently at the old house) but I'll post again when I can.  I certainly do have lots of thoughts and feelings to share from the last several days!

Shedding some tears

I'm shedding a few tears this morning, and yes, that is due in no small part to exhaustion.  This was not the best timed move ever, but it will work out in the long run.  I'm trying so very hard to focus on all the positives of this move, and there truly are very many of them.  But I don't like change, and my life has been amazingly blessed up to now...it's hard to imagine that it could get much better.

We were able to meet teachers last night for Catherine and Thomas.  They are even more excited then they were before, and I'm trying very hard to follow their lead.  At Catherine's school I felt a better level of comfort.  I'm familiar with his school, Andrew is more familiar with the teachers (and they with him) and I even saw a few people I know myself.  Everything though is so unfamiliar for Thomas, and he's the one I've always been able to be the most comfortable about which is making it worse for me.  We've suspected for the last year that he has ADD, and because the teachers knew me here in town they were willing to work with me and try some things even without an official diagnosis.  Now though, I know absolutely no one at that school, and they don't know me any differently from any other crazy parent (and trust me when I tell you, the majority of parents are crazy when it comes to their kids!) and I feel like I have to start all over again.  As a true introvert at heart, this is not easy for me.

But as I also keep saying, this is not about me.  This is about us as a family, and I have an absolutely amazing family.  I am looking forward to sharing new adventures with them, and I am convinced this is a good move for our family!

Reflecting

I'm enjoying what is going to end up being my last quiet morning in this house.  Andrew has gone back to work and I realize how much I miss him...how much I am so completely in love with this man who has chosen to share his life with me.  The kids are all still sleeping, and I want to let them sleep.  This is the last quiet, cup-of-coffee morning I'll have here, watching the sun pour in from the east through my french doors in the dining room.  This house is the only house Andrew and I have lived in together, and we moved in right before we were married.  EVERY thing, big and small, that has happened in our marriage, in our lives together, has happened with this house being our home.

I could get all wrapped up in the "lasts" that are occurring this week, and to be honest it makes me glad that we are moving somewhat suddenly.  A year of everything being "the last" would've been mentally exhausting, and it wouldn't have changed how I did anything in the past year.

This next six months is going to find me outside of my comfort zone in so many ways, but this isn't about me, although I might find that I learn a lot about me in the next six months.  More importantly, I am so grateful for the opportunities my family is going to have...and I'm really looking forward to making the new house our home.

We officially own two homes!

As of Noon today, we officially own two homes!  I am so excited to be moving into our new place.  We took six car loads (with the help of friends) over to the new place and we were able to get much more moved than I had anticipated.  Tomorrow I'll be able to focus on moving until it is time to head over tomorrow afternoon for our evening activities, and I'll take another load then.  I'll be honest, I'm exhausted.  I'm not only physically exhausted, but I'm mentally exhausted as well.  I guess it's because I'm a detail person and while it may not be "big money" to the banks, it's a whole lot to us "little people"!

An incident happened today that really made this entire experience completely worth it.  Our new across-the-street neighbor came over to introduce himself, although he works with Andrew so it was really just introducing himself to myself and the kids.  Apparently they had not made the connection that Robert was Andrew's son, and this neighbor's son was in the band and played the trumpet with Robert this past year.  Oliver came over when he realized Robert was moving in and they gave each other a hug and Oliver was very excited to learn Robert would be living across the street.  This is already a great move for our family!

Coming out of the woodwork

Since we are moving out, bugs apparently think it is their time to move in!  I have killed more bugs in the last two days than I had the entire summer...and I do NOT like killing bugs.  We've had two wasps in the laundry room, and just an hour ago I killed the biggest spider I have ever seen inside a house.  Yuck!!  We must be stirring things up with all this packing and moving things around.  Since we are moving to a rather wooded location in a township, I suspect I better get used to bugs...and perhaps other critters.  Andrew met with the seller last evening just to go over a couple of things.  The seller gave us a copy of the neighborhood newsletter which mentioned the wild turkeys and fox family that are in the neighborhood.  Andrew mentioned we'll probably be glad we have the cats because of mice.  I'm not at all sure I'm cut out for this!

This date

I'll be honest, August 13 is probably the day I most dread on the calendar each year.  Today is the 20th "anniversary" of my friend Eric being diagnosed with leukemia.  That is not something a young college student expects to face, but Eric faced it head on...and won.  I'll never forget spending that week before I left for my sophomore year of college sitting in hospital waiting rooms, and I'll never forget how helpless I felt.  I can only hope that being there somehow gave Eric strength and extra fight...and at the very least helped him to pass some hours.

It was also on this date 17 years ago that I walked into my house (I had just graduated from college and was still living with my parents) and there, standing in the kitchen, were my parents and they were crying.  It was the third time I could ever remember seeing my dad cry in 22 years, and I knew it couldn't be good.  My mother explained that because my father wasn't getting any better after his diagnosis from pneumonia several weeks earlier, they were beginning to realize something was seriously wrong and were suspecting lung cancer.  While that's still not good now, back then it was pretty much a death sentence.  As it turns out, it wasn't cancer, but it was definitely the onset of Dad's 17 year battle to fight and stay with us.

Adding this to the emotions and stress of moving, and it's just proving to be a long day.  I'll be glad to go to bed this evening, and since tomorrow we get to officially purchase our new home, I'll be very excited to see tomorrow arrive as well!

Our last day of summer fun

In three days, Andrew begins his school year, and then a week from today we are at it full speed ahead!  Everyone is excited, and I'm trying to be also.  While I'm grateful to know I'm not going to be working this fall and will have plenty of time to try to get our house put together, I'm also nervous about how long (and lonely) my days are going to feel.  I just tell myself to relax!

When we were in Indianapolis in April, we had purchased a membership to Conner's Prairie, an interactive "living" historical site.  It was only $12 more than our general admission for the day, and we live only two hours away and thought we would certainly get back at least one more time.  Of course nothing turned out the way we had planned this summer, and suddenly it looked as though that may not happen.  Yesterday though, we took the day off and went back, and I'm so glad that we did.  First of all, I was absolutely exhausted from all of the packing I've been doing, and by yesterday I was even achy from lifting things my husband would prefer I not attempt to move on my own.  We are in pretty good shape with things, so I felt "safe" taking a day off from it all.  It was a beautiful day and I expected it to be very crowded, but it wasn't at all!  The kids got to make their own baskets and their own pendants and they got to participate in a tomahawk throwing contest.  It was an absolutely perfect way to wrap up our summer.  I mostly just sat and relaxed and enjoyed the down time...it was a fabulous day!

It's almost a miracle

For the last six weeks, I've mentally been preparing myself to lose my dad.  He's been so weak and continuing to deteriorate.  In fact, on July 4th we were invited to Missouri for Thanksgiving with friends.  I explained that while we may want to go some year, this year I was pretty sure was going to be my Dad's last Thanksgiving and I just didn't feel that we ought to miss it.  This past week though, I was beginning to accept that he wasn't even going to make it to the holidays this year.  While it was hard to think about, I also knew that he was suffering.  Selfishly though, I prayed that he would make it another month or so in order to get the kids adjusted to new schools before they had to deal with losing their grandfather.

I talked to my mom yesterday and she mentioned there was no question Dad felt better.  Today she called shortly after noon to let me know that he was home, and again mentioned how much better he felt.  About an hour ago, my dad actually called me!  Please understand, for the last six weeks he didn't have the strength, energy, or stamina to even read his own emails, let alone talk on the phone.  I had gone to see him two days before we left for vacation, and he couldn't even sit up in bed to visit with me.  Today when he called he didn't sound winded or cough much, and he's already responded to an email I sent afterwards.  I am so very grateful for the his new found strength.  It's miraculous!

Update on the ups and downs

Well, it turns out that perhaps the fact that the movers canceled for the 17th isn't such a bad thing, as I've just learned that our closing is not yet confirmed for the 14th.  Really?  Five days away and it isn't yet confirmed?  We aren't talking about a dentist appointment that can easily be reworked...we are talking about a MAJOR event.  In fact, I'm pretty sure the sellers plan to be living in New York by the original date of the 19th.  I'm absolutely, without any doubt, NOT cut out for this moving thing!

Ups and downs

This has been one roller coaster of a week!  In fact, in the 30 minutes I've been awake this morning, it's been a heck of a ride already!

Yesterday Andrew made the moving arrangements for us to move next Saturday.  We were all very excited because it meant we would be in the house for school starting which just a week ago we didn't even think was a possibility.  It was the moving company I'd really wanted to use because everyone I've ever known used them, and after saying it would be September, they called back and rearranged things to get us in.  Unfortunately, we received another phone call this morning from someone else saying that there was just no way they could work us in next weekend.  I was so disappointed, but it's not the end of the world and we'll figure something out.

But the very big "UP" of the day...my mom called and she had just talked to Dad.  He is feeling much better and they expect him to be sent home from the hospital tomorrow.  Honestly, knowing that trumps pretty much anything else happening in life right now!

Dinner with a friend

I had dinner last evening with a friend I had literally not spent time with since January.  We used to run into each other at various kids' activities and school events, but as the kids have become older that changed and we each had our own very busy schedules.  However, I've been pretty full of anxiety lately, and Amanda is not only a very good friend with whom to chat, but also a very healthy person and I knew that she would have advice.  In all honesty, it might have been the very first time EVER that she and I did something just the two of us.  I had never truly realized how very much alike we are.  I was cracking up at the way she would react to a story I was telling her because it was the exact reaction I'd had.  I am rarely a person who asks for "girl time" and Amanda is well aware of that...which is exactly why I knew she would come to my rescue.  I so desperately needed an evening of laughter and fun and relaxation...and that was exactly what I got!

Officially enrolled

The kids are officially enrolled at the new school.  With Catherine, we have familiarity since Robert attended there last year and will be there again with Catherine.  I still love the fact that we know the principals, and Andrew even requested teachers he knows (which he can do since he teaches in the district).  I have some concerns about Catherine having some of the academic supports that she is going to need, but we'll see how it works out.  At Thomas's school, everything is brand new to us, although my aunt did teach at the school for years prior to her retirement, but that was nearly nine years ago now.  We also know not only the principal at Thomas's new school, but the principal's entire family.  It was very nice to be recognized myself and not just having someone recognize Andrew!  Anyway, both kids were able to meet their new principals and walk around their new buildings and we are all getting very excited!

On the downside, I arrived home to another phone call from my mother that Dad has been taken to the hospital in an ambulance.  This situation seems to be less of an emergency than Saturday night, but I also realize that it's clearly a deterioration of his condition.  Mom expects him to be admitted this time, but I'll know more later.

Apparently baseball and friendship don't mix

I've written before about our displeasure with this baseball season.  As I've said to Andrew, perhaps we were naive about select ball.  We made an apparently incorrect assumption that the boys would still be developed as players...instead it was a "win at all cost" mentality.  My husband even mentioned that perhaps that is why he was never a hugely successful freshmen football coach.  He believed, even at the freshmen high school level, that everyone should play at least a little, even if it meant the "best team" wasn't always on the field.  He acknowledges that varsity is different...that should be about winning, but he felt his job at the freshmen level was developing players...all of his players.

We received a call from another parent on the team Thursday morning while we were on vacation.  He was upset and wanted to know why the team had played in a weekend tournament and his son had not been included.  He had tried reaching the head coach more than once but had never heard back from him.  My husband had no idea what this parent was talking about and was a little shocked by it.  I should also mention that Robert and this other child were clearly the two weakest players on the team.  Andrew explained the conversation to me when he got off the phone, and immediately I knew...this was the end of the friendship.  I explained to Andrew that while a bunch of us had gone to dinner after the last game of the season, one of the parents had mentioned to the head coach (who, if you will remember, refers to Andrew as his best friend) that they would be available on those dates.  I noticed the blood drained from the head coach's face and that was the end of the discussion.  I said nothing and simply filed it away in my memory...and that "file" jumped front and center when my husband told me about the conversation.  I had no doubt that the team had played in a tournament, and that these two players and my husband, an assistant coach, had been purposely excluded.  And the fact that the head coach's wife never even mentioned anything in passing made me pretty certain it was intended that we would never find out.

When we arrived home Saturday evening, there was an email from the head coach to all of the players about try outs that are happening this coming weekend.  Again, my husband is supposedly an assistant coach, and he knew nothing at all about this.  Obviously whether or not Andrew could be there to help with evaluations and selecting the team meant nothing to the coach.  We learned about it just like everyone else, and I was pretty sure it was another way to "weed out" the weaker players.

Andrew called the coach yesterday, and it was apparent by the coach's jovial attitude in the beginning that he had no idea we were upset.  Andrew asked him about the tournament and he responded that it happened when we left for vacation so he knew we wouldn't be interested.  My husband pointed out that as an assistant coach, he still should've been informed, and asked how does that explain about the other boy?  The coach then said that he had taken his best ten players statistically and others he had picked up for this tournament...clearly indicating that he had no interest in the two excluded players attending.  Andrew then asked about the tryouts...if he is still a coach why wasn't he involved in the planning of the tryouts?  The coach responded that Andrew hadn't been around much and he needed to move forward.  Not around much?  Other than the last week, we've been here and the coach's family was the one that took a two week vacation.  And it's not like this man has ever been shy about contacting us on our cell phones.  He simply didn't care, and basically said so when his statement to Andrew was that he didn't have time to deal with this...this wasn't a priority.  Andrew responded, "Okay.  We'll talk about his later. Maybe." and that was the end of the conversation.

I think it is so sad that this man became so focused on putting together the perfect team to win that he was willing to risk, and ultimately lose, a friendship that had once been so close.  We've vacationed and celebrated holidays and special occasions with them, but that is very unlikely to happen again.  I'm not sure how to feel about his wife because I feel she was involved in being part of the cover up to make sure we didn't know what was happening.  Maybe I shouldn't let this drama get to me, but honestly I thought I had reached adulthood, where friends didn't treat friends this way.  Some might feel that we are over reacting because we are moving anyway and weren't planning to return to the team next spring, and had Andrew "just" been an assistant coach and not a friend, we would probably feel differently.

As you can imagine, this ridiculous drama, along with my dad's health and impending move (and two house payments...keep mentioning that don't I?) is playing havoc with my nerves.  I know that overall we are very, very, very blessed that we are able to afford to do what we are doing, and that all of this is going to work out and life goes on.  I'm very grateful I have an absolutely amazing husband who stands up for what he thinks is right, and who stands up for our children.  We are all so very lucky!

Vacation recap

Our vacation was absolutely wonderful, but also very stressful...I'm not even sure I know where to begin with the stories!  I apologize, but this is probably a longer post than anyone wants to read.

Before we left, I knew my father was deteriorating.  He'd had an appointment earlier in the week before we left with his pulmonologist who changed some of his meds and ran some tests.  The test results indicated it was a heart issue.  I made sure to see him before we left, but he couldn't get out of bed to visit with me, and didn't want the kids to see him like that.  I'll be honest, I was afraid he wasn't going to be here when we returned.  I talked to Mom while we were down in SC.  Dad had a cardiologist appointment and they also changed some of his meds hoping to help with his energy levels.  However, while he was in the e/r Saturday night they restored all of the original meds removed by both doctors, so we aren't really certain where things stand.  They did send Dad home in the middle of the night, and while my mom was pretty tired and grumpy from the overnight e/r experience, she did report that Dad seemed to be feeling better.

Anyway, our trip to the beach consisted of rain.  It rained. The. Entire. Trip.  It was awful.  There were SEVERAL hours of the trip where we couldn't even go the posted legal speed limit because it was raining too hard for that to be safe.  There were even times when we had to slow down and use our hazard lights because it was raining so hard.  It made for a tough travel day, but at the end of the day we were rewarded by arriving at our beach front condo!  My in-laws had a glass of wine waiting and it was worth the trip!

Sunday found us heading to church, then we enjoyed some beach time.  We used tons of sun screen on the trip and because we had taken beach umbrellas and a pop up tent, I was able to enjoy being down at the ocean and then retreating to the sand.  Robert was allowed some freedom on the beach but given boundaries and rules.  Catherine and Thomas were quite content to hang out near us, and Thomas was even quite content just to dig in the sand much of the time, although he enjoyed the water as well.  And of course the best part of any vacation is eating out...and fresh seafood is soooo good!  Dinner was often the favorite part of each day for me!

On Monday, my in-laws took Robert to hit golf balls while we took the younger two mini golfing.  It wasn't crowded and we had paid the unlimited amount so we were able to do 36 holes.  That was finished off by ice cream and we enjoyed an early bird dinner.  While we were in the restaurant, it began to absolutely pour outside.  The family at the table next to us began to get dripped on by roof leaks, and by the end of our meal there was an all out waterfall happening at the table next to us.  Lots of road flooding, but we made it home safely and it was an inside evening for all!

Tuesday we hit the beach mid-morning and then again in the afternoon.  Our in-laws volunteered to take the kids for dinner so we could have an evening to ourselves.  We hit our favorite steak restaurant and did some shopping, and then enjoyed the views and sounds of the ocean from the porch when we returned.

So the first three days were pretty good.  Then Wednesday hit...we decided that due to some skin showing signs of sunburn, it wasn't a good beach day.  Not that it would have mattered since it rained most of the day!  Andrew's parents mentioned a shopping spot where there was an awesome candy store and some great ice cream.  While this was true, there was also TONS of EXPENSIVE amusement adventures.  We felt so badly having to tell the kids "no" to everything, but paying over $100 to spend an hour inside this funny looking building of amusements was not part of the plan.  A $65 four-minute speed boat ride wasn't on the agenda either.  So we quickly decided we had made a mistake, loaded everyone up (after hitting candy store and ice cream) and headed to the much more affordable arcade.  We brought dinner in the evening because the Pirates/Cardinals game was on ESPN and we wanted to catch that.  We had also realized when we arrived that we didn't have Internet access at the condo.  I was able to check my email  on my father-in-law's little phone and found out that drama had developed in my children's lives again (sorry, I won't go into details for privacy) and that there was info needed from us to move forward on our new mortgage...info which could only be retrieved from home!  I quickly began wishing I hadn't even checked our email and had left well enough alone.

Thursday we received a phone call from another baseball parent.  I'll write more about that in another post, but it really ramped up the stress level...big time.  We spent more time at the beach and Andrew's parents joined us this time.  Dinner was another fabulous seafood meal, and after dinner was another lovely evening on the porch watching and listening to the ocean!

Andrew's parents had decided to leave Friday because it was going to be easier for them.  We had an ocean front breakfast and then said our good-byes.  We spent the day at the ocean again and had a blast.  It was really truly very nice having an ocean front condo.  Andrew would've had a very tough time getting tents and umbrellas to the beach if we'd had to walk any great distance, and I wouldn't have been able to be there if they hadn't been there.  We decided to take the kids to Planet Hollywood for dinner.  Thomas had a meltdown at dinner and he and I spent the end of dinner in the van.  Not exactly the way I wanted to end our vacation.  We had hoped to walk along the beach again that evening, but it rained AGAIN.

Saturday's drive home was fairly uneventful, and Andrew and I even shared a few laughs about things as we drove.  We were home in time for the kids to watch the season premier of "Too Cute" which was Catherine's goal for the day.  That's also when I received a phone call from Mom about Dad, so while it was wonderful to get away and have a break, it definitely had some stress.

And now, school starts in two weeks and we are supposed to get our selves moved into a new house.  Lots going on!

Reality stinks

We have just returned from a wonderful week at Myrtle Beach with my in-laws.  We had a terrific time, but I'll be honest, the timing of it kind of wasn't so good.  There was a lot of drama happening at home, that I just wasn't able to cope with being so far from home (and without internet access).  About 30 minutes ago I received a call from my mother that my father had been taken to the e/r in an ambulance.  Reality definitely smacked me in the face upon returning home this evening!

Hopefully I'll be back before too long to recap our wonderful week at the beach!