Three more days

Counting today, there are three more days of school.  These are all make up days that have been added to our calendar because of our winter, and so the school is doing early releases for all of them.  I don't particularly mind, although it makes a waste of a day at the end of the year even less meaningful.

Yesterday was field day at Thomas's school.  They serve a picnic lunch and parents are invited to join.  Because Andrew's finals started yesterday, he was finished with students in time to join us.  As I sat there, I still felt that tinge of loneliness in not knowing anyone, and am beginning to wonder if I ever really will.  But I also felt amazing gratitude that my children were in these schools.  My hopes for how their school year would go (at least the school portion, not so much the rest of our lives) were far exceeded.

The rest of our lives, well, just ugh.  Andrew's brother took a turn for the worst this week and was taken to ICU.  He was moved back to a regular floor yesterday, but there are so many complicating factors in his recovery...not the least of which is his own very negative attitude.  They are attempting to come up with a rehab plan that will work, but it is hard to feel optimistic about his recovery at this point.  My mom has also been feeling so very lousy.  Chemo hit her really, really hard last week, and it's tough knowing in two more weeks we will be right back at it again.  She is also having trouble eating because nothing tastes right.  I so very much wish I could do something for her.

And then there is Robert.  It may be my lack of emotional reserve, but I am pretty much heartbroken over his behaviors.  Trust is completely non-existent, and just when I think we've turned a corner I find out I'm wrong.  I have prayed and prayed about this...that I can be the parent Robert needs me to be and that I can provide the guidance he needs.  He has just reached a stage in life where he is completely convinced that he is all grown up and he knows everything there is to know, and Andrew and I can't possibly know what we are talking about.  I have accepted that he is going to be one where he has to learn the hard way.  Talking about consequences are irrelevant...until he experiences it himself he isn't going to believe it.  There are so many good things about him at the same time, and that gives me hope.

Our weekend should be fun with a few plans, and hopefully time to unwind as well!