The end of another year

I am pretty sure it was just a few weeks ago that I was sitting here writing about the end of last year...wow.  New Year's Eve does not mean to me what it used to mean.  It used to be about the excitement of another new year.  Now, it simply marks the lightning speed passage of time as my children grow up so very quickly.  The times I have enjoyed the most these past two weeks have been the times we've all been together just relaxing with a movie or TV show, and usually with Thomas snuggled up on my lap.  Even at his age, he still loves to do so, and I don't mind one bit.  I've never let those moments go by without being so grateful and having a full heart.

With Mom's illness it's been another tough year, and yet I felt it was a pretty good year.  It's been stressful at times, but I acknowledge that is probably just the way life is going to be from here on out.  I need to learn to control my stress, and I know that I've already learned to be very grateful for the small moments of peace and to cherish them.  I've been blessed with the most amazing husband ever and I couldn't do what I do without him.  I'm so grateful for the two weeks of school break this year and all of the down time it has brought.  Knowing the activities that the kids want to do next year I am pretty sure this could be the end of that much extended down time, and I've tried to soak up every minute.

We are going to ring in the new year here tonight with the five of us since we aren't traveling to my in-laws.  Catherine is feeling better today, and we are cautiously optimistic that we might all be able to make the trip tomorrow, but we'll see how things go.  I am so grateful for all of my family and friends, and wish everyone a very Happy New Year!

A different plan

Our plans to travel tomorrow have been scratched.  While medicine is doing a fabulous job of keeping Catherine's fever down, when the meds wear off it starts to go back up.  And this folks, is why the schools actually have a policy that your child must be fever free for 24 hours WITHOUT medications before they are to return to school.  I had encouraged Andrew to go ahead and take the boys to his parents, but he really wanted to be with me on New Year's Eve...and I am not going to complain about that.  The current plan is that on Thursday, whomever can make the trip will do so then.  Fingers crossed Catherine will wake up fever free tomorrow and remain that way...but I'm not overly optimistic.  Andrew's parents told us not to worry about coming and just come some weekend...but we pointed out to them that would be March!  Hopefully this bug leaves Catherine, and stays away from everyone else!

The beginning of week 2 of break

Life has been interesting around here.  Our credit card was hacked last week and that is extremely stressful.  The tough part is that we have no idea how it happened, but I do know that I did not spend $4000 for ac/heating work at companies I've never heard of before!

Catherine is on day 2 of running a fever.  Yesterday it was well controlled with ibuprofen, but today we are not having the same luck.  I am becoming concerned about our chances for making it to Andrew's parents on Wednesday...we'll just have to see.  We are also crossing our fingers that no one else gets it.

I am ready to put away Christmas and get back to "normal", but Andrew will hear nothing of the sort, so I guess I will wait until the weekend.  He prefers that we wait until January 6 and I understand the significance of the date, but this weekend seems much more realistic!

I am grateful for another week off school!

A completely, absolutely unscheduled day

There is nothing on our calendar today.  These days are very rare, and the fact that we didn't have to skip an event in order to make it happen is even more rare.  Robert has planted himself in front of the TV for an NCIS marathon, and Catherine and Thomas have hunkered down for day of video gaming.  I have informed Andrew that I might NOT get out of my pajamas today...and we are all totally okay with this.  The kids did get a new board game that we might try out at some point, and I have LOADS of laundry to do, but overall it is just going to be a day to just be...and I am so grateful!

Another fabulous Christmas

Yesterday was really absolutely wonderful.  The kids were THRILLED with their gifts, especially their "big" gift of each getting a 3DS.  Thomas received several Lego sets, Robert received lots of clothes and books, and Catherine was kind of a mix of everything.  We had a very laid back morning and enjoyed our time together.  My sister was kind enough to host us for the afternoon at her house, and we actually got along really well.  Mom was having a tough day and that left G.G. to focus on her so it was just Katie and I getting things ready.  My uncle, two aunts, a cousin/husband/three kids, and a couple of family friends joined us for dinner and visiting in the evening.  By the time we got home last night it was just enough for a quick chat with Nonie & Pappy and then off to bed.  It was truly a spectacular day!

Christmas Eve dinner

Our tradition on Christmas Eve, when there wasn't a large family celebration, was to order Chinese food.  This tradition goes back to my childhood, and Andrew was happy to adopt it when we got married.  This year was a little different though.  At my grandmother's celebration over the weekend, we had years ago gone away from having a traditional Christmas meal.  There were years it was "finger foods" although this year there was BBQ pulled pork, potatoes, and mac & cheese.  My sister decided that she didn't want to go all out with a big meal either, so today's meal with my mom's large extended family will be appetizers and desserts (definitely a fun way to spend the day!), which meant we would have to wait until next week with my in-laws for a big traditional meal.  However, I had purchased a ham at the grocery last week because they had such good prices, and Andrew decided that we would go ahead and have a nice meal just the five of us after church last night.  We even used the china plates, cloth napkins, and crystal wine glasses.

We spent the evening building a fire in the fireplace, and then we all sat down together to watch Charlie Brown.  It is the one night of the year that the kids are anxious to get to bed, and I can't blame them.  Christmas morning (and Santa) can't come until we've slept!

Such sad news

I was in the middle of church when I got word that my friend Haley's step-dad passed away yesterday of a sudden heart attack.  Haley is much younger than me and Dan was only 48.  In many ways he was more of a father to her than her biological father, and this man was also friends with my aunt and uncle.  We are so heartbroken for the family.  Please send up some prayers for them!

It was an incredibly fun day

Andrew knew that I really, really wanted to go to the Cincinnati Reds Hall of Fame this year.  I just thought it was so much to spend when I wasn't really sure that the kids would enjoy it, and getting away without them also seemed impossible, so I hadn't really given it much more thought.  However, on the last day of school last week, he brought home five complementary vouchers!  Someone he has known through years of coaching had sent out an email asking if anyone wanted any because he had some available through his work with baseball.  Andrew was able to get five of them, and although they expired next week we were pretty sure that we could get there over break.  We decided this would be the day, and while Robert and Catherine were pretty indifferent, Thomas was very excited.

We got to see so many fun exhibits and Thomas was especially excited to see names he recognized.  We had watched the induction ceremony on TV this year, so he was particularly excited to see the plaques of this year's inductees...and the fact that one was Ken Griffey, Jr., whom Thomas remembered watching play made it even better.  He had an absolute blast.  When we left, we decided to do lunch, and I remembered that we weren't too far from the Montgomery Inn Boathouse.  The kids love the original restaurant and Thomas said this one was even better because of the view!    This is right on the river and it was really foggy today.  We had a fabulous lunch and then made our way home.

Thomas dubbed it the "best day ever"...a title which I'm sure will be gone in two days at Christmas.  I must admit, it was a pretty great day and I loved sharing this as a family!

The next dive meet

I am very happy to report that Robert showed tremendous improvement in his second dive meet Friday evening.  Unfortunately, a volunteer commitment that has turned into a fiasco prevented me from actually seeing it, but his scores increased tremendously.  We are so proud of him, and looking forward to the rest of the season!

How we've spent break so far

I am enjoying every. single. minute. of this break.  Okay, there were a few on Friday when I announced we had things to get done that weren't so much fun, but otherwise, we've had a blast!  Since Andrew had to get up Friday morning and go to work, I didn't sleep in nearly as late as I had wanted, but since I went to bed Thursday at about 9:30 I still felt pretty rested.  Thursday afternoon Andrew took Robert to a doctor appointment, and then we were all home and just, well, just "were".  We did absolutely nothing productive.  We just sat and watched TV and soaked up the fact that 17 days of break were in front of us...which is why on Friday I actually wanted to accomplish a few things.  Robert had another dive meet that evening, but again, it was a rather unscheduled day.  Saturday we ALL slept in, then Andrew took Thomas to a scouting function.  Robert and Catherine put in a few hours at the church babysitting then we spent the evening with some dear friends from our former town.  We hadn't seen them in months, and there just is no way to describe the amount of relaxing fun we have with them.  Yesterday was the beginning of our Christmas.  Strangely, I am finding the holidays a little tougher this year than last.  Yesterday was tough.  I think it had to do with not only missing Dad, but having Mom be there but not be able to eat, and there is some drama in my aunt's family with some cousins who refused to attend (so glad everyone can be mature and behave like the adult they are supposed to be).  We stopped by the cemetery on the way home, and I always wish I didn't.  While my faith tells me (and I believe) without question that my father is not there, knowing that his body is under that dirt truly sickens me.  I'm not sure if it will be more comforting when the headstone is engraved or not, but I suspect not. 

Anyway, we came home last evening and the stress and sadness I felt during the afternoon began to fade away.  We built our very first fire in our new fireplace, munched on snacks and leftovers, the kids played with their new toys and read new books and watched some TV, and we poured a glass of wine and watched football.  I can not think of a better way to begin our next two weeks off!

I wonder how long I can sleep

This is our last day of school before break!  Andrew has to work tomorrow, but only for a training that should be about an hour long...all of his grades are complete!  Robert has a doctor appointment and Andrew has agreed to take him.  They should be home by 5:30 and then I am wondering how late I have to stay up...can I be in bed by 10:00 tonight?  While Andrew has to be at work by 9, I am not responsible for anyone having to be anywhere until tomorrow evening...so I am wondering how many blissfully wonderful hours my body will allow me to sleep!!!

The beginning of dive

Tuesday evening was Robert's first dive meet.  Andrew was working there as a school district employee, and I was planning to be there in between dropping Thomas off and basketball practice and picking him up.  I now have a better idea of how this works...they do half of the swim meet, letting the (very few) divers dive, and then resume the other half of the meet.  There were seven divers all together, and Robert was the end of the rotation.  Andrew and I got to our seats just as Robert did his first dive (there are six rounds) and we heard his scores...4's & 5's.  We are so clueless about this that we had to ask a nice lady sitting near us how many points were possible (10).  The highest Robert was able to get from any of the three judges was a 6, and unfortunately there were some 3's thrown in there as well.  I reminded him though, that at his first track meet last year his discus throw didn't go 40', and his PR by the end of the season was 112'...so he's got plenty of time for improvement.  He was also the only one of the seven who had absolutely no experience with any of this before.  We are very proud of him taking these chances, and looking forward to whatever the season brings!

Diagnosis: bronchitis

Yesterday Andrew went to the doctor.  He wasn't feeling awful, but the cough he had been fighting had definitely turned into a bark.  The doctor feels he probably has bronchitis.  He is now on an antibiotic, steroid, and both daytime and a separate night cough medicine.  I am very, very much hoping that we can keep this contained to only him...Thomas goes downhill very fast when he gets sick and we don't want that to happen at the holidays!

A new fireplace

Today our fireplace is being rebuilt.  I am beginning to think we are not meant to live in a home with a working fireplace...although both of our houses have had them.  Our first house the previous owners had not used the fireplace.  We had it inspected and we decided it would be safest to install a new liner...not cheap, but the right way to do it.  The fireplace still never seemed to work quite right and as we continued using it, it seems as though the house filled with smoke.  One time I was outside and noticed the chimney was falling away from the house and that there were char lines at the top of the chimney.  Several thousand dollars later we had it all fixed, although we were informed that the liner (by then five years old) was done poorly, but things were safe.  Honestly, I don't remember if we ever used the fireplace after that or not.

When we moved to our current house, the previous owners told us they had used the fireplace all of the previous winter...and it certainly would've been nice to have it last winter!  But when Andrew looked into the fireplace after we moved in, he could see light...definitely not a good sign!  Because our town is near almost nothing, we had trouble finding someone who would come and do a service call, but we finally found someone to come this fall.  The entire back wall of the chimney needed to be rebuilt.  At first I really didn't want to spend the money, but Andrew did a good job of negotiating.  And since we don't live in town, I decided it's really not a bad idea to have an alternative heat source should the power go out.  Granted, it wouldn't be great, but it would be better than nothing.  The workmen are here today, and since it's finals week, Andrew and Robert will be home shortly.  It certainly will be nice when this is done...and just in time for a cozy Christmas hearth!

Not myself

I don't know if it is age or stress, but I am just not myself these days.  I used to be on top of things and know exactly what was happening, and what needed to happen at all times.  Now though, I'm slipping.  I certainly acknowledge there is more going on in life than we used to have to worry about, and the stakes are higher.  By that I mean that if a kid missed a practice, it was rec league and not a big deal.  Now, it's high school, and there better be a good excuse to miss practice.  I'm not complaining...high school sports have a business aspect to it and I totally get that.  It's just that I'm not feeling on "top of my game" these days. 

I acknowledge that I am 40 and that could be a part of it...I'm not getting younger!  But I also acknowledge in addition to my own household's activities, I also have other things going on in life.  I now have my Mom's doctor appointments on my calendar as well.  I haven't attended the ones with her this month as she is doing better, but some further complications have also developed, and while we still don't know where we are going with it and maybe there isn't much to worry about, it's in the back of my head.  Yesterday I was getting a new battery in the van and I suddenly had a realization...for the last 18-1/2 years, I've had a sick parent for all of it but four months.  It certainly hasn't been critical every single day, but it's always been there.  That perspective did help me to cut myself a little slack!

Finals week

Robert is experiencing his first ever Finals week.  I've spent my morning sending up prayers on his behalf.  He is a child who tends to have extreme testing anxiety, and the fact that this week is worth 20% of his entire semester grade is not lost on him.  It is not aided by the fact that he has put forth much less effort this quarter than he did the first quarter, and therefore is a little shakier with the material covered this quarter.  We sat yesterday and did flash cards, and he had a bit of a melt down (as an aside, I'm really tired of my children who are no longer toddlers having meltdowns).  I recognize part of the reason is because he was pretty tired, but without going into details let me assure you that part of the reason he is so tired is his own darn fault.  Regardless of any of this, I've been sending up lots of prayers on his behalf this morning.  Some of them are certainly just that we all make it through his teenage years, but most of them this morning are specific to his exams!

A pretty wonderful weekend

It was one of the most exhausting, and yet enjoyable, weekends I can remember.  Friday evening Thomas had a sleepover of some friends.  They were up pretty much all night and it certainly sounded as though the enjoyed themselves the entire time.  I was exhausted myself come Saturday, but I really did enjoy listening to them have so much fun.  Saturday morning everyone had rehearsals at church for yesterday's program, and then Robert and Catherine volunteered in the afternoon for the church babysitting session, Andrew had to work at basketball games, and Thomas and I were off to visit my mother and grandmother and deliver fruit Robert had sold to them.  Thomas pretty much slept all day, and ended up going to bed at 6PM and sleeping 14 straight hours.  Andrew didn't get home until after 9:30, but we enjoyed hanging out for a little while before trying to catch up on some sleep ourselves.

Yesterday was the children's program at church.  It was absolutely gorgeous and beautiful, and so moving that at one point there weren't too many dry eyes in the house.  It was a beautiful reminder of the real reason of the season and I just can't adequately express how great it felt to watch my kids be a part of it.  Thomas had a line to read, and Catherine and Robert played their instruments.  I truly enjoy watching Robert play the trumpet because he makes very comical facial expressions while doing so.

Our afternoon yesterday was spent watching both the Steelers and the Broncos win (I've always been a big fan, although it's not like it used to be).  Andrew spent all evening working on writing a final, and I helped Robert study (I'll post about that separately).  Thomas and I spent a little time reading Christmas books, and it just felt like a great way to begin the last ten days before Christmas!

Sometimes it is hard to write

That is the case this week.  It's been an absolutely crazy week, and it's been a tough week as the parent of a teenager.  The hardest part is the same poor choices over, and over, and over again, especially when I thought we had turned the corner.  I can deal with a lot of poor choices, but looking me in the eye and lying to my face is just not one of them.  Lots of prayers for guidance have been sent up this week, and I know that life overall is still pretty good.  It's just that these are not memories I particularly want to hold onto.

Epic elf fail

The elf in our house is named Christopher.  He actually is not an "Elf on the Shelf"...but he is an elf that came with his own book.  My mother gave it to me years before the elf craze was in full swing and I'm grateful.  Christopher is MUCH cuter than the elf.  Anyway, he usually doesn't come until about now in December because honestly, I forget.  It's also nice because I only have to come up with about ten different places that he needs to be.  Our elf does not participate in any shenanigans...he is simply here to keep an eye on things.  And Thomas is ALL about this.  While I can't believe he would still believe, he truly has a magical personality, so maybe he really does...if anyone would at this age it would be him.

Last week Christopher spent three days in the exact same spot.  He was up high, and it's the "out of sight, out of mind" problem.  Yesterday morning he was again in the same place, and it's so disappointing to the kids when he hasn't moved.  The nice thing during the week is that Catherine is out the door before Thomas gets up so they each have a chance to find him on their own.  It's so much fun listening to the giggles...at least on the days I can remember to relocate him!  I always feel so badly when I don't...parent fail!

I'm also so grateful for the magic of Christopher in the sense of joy that it brings...it is the exact opposite of the emotions Robert is bringing out.  He is a good kid and he does so many good things, but right now it feels like every word out of his mouth is a lie.  It's over absolutely ridiculous stuff, like whether or not he ate breakfast.  I feel like we are back to where we were a year ago, where the lies are more automatic than the truth.  As I've always done, I continue to pray for peace and guidance!

I have to brag for a minute

Yesterday, church attendance presented a quandary for me.  I had volunteered to work in the nursery and would not be in the actual service.  Andrew wasn't going to be able to attend with us because he was leaving with a school group for two days in Columbus.  Hm...what to do about the kids?  Rehearsals for the church pageant they are all in were right after the service so leaving them at home and then running home to bring them back definitely wasn't an option, but to leave them unattended during the service?  I just wasn't sure about that.  They are certainly old enough, but Catherine and Thomas especially often forget how old they are when they display behavior.  I didn't see another option though, so we sat them down and expressed our expectations to them.  We then further explained the consequences if I heard any negative comments about them.  After church, I had several people stop me and make a point to tell me how well behaved the children had been.  One woman even told me that she so enjoyed watching them participate during the service and that it just really made her feel good that they were doing so.  I am so proud of my kids!

Six years of blogging

I've been recording feelings and memories here for the past six years.  My youngest was in preschool when I started, and now the oldest is in high school.  My goodness gracious...where has the time gone?  It is so much fun to look back on those earlier days and I'm so very grateful that they are recorded here.  I know otherwise, there are many little things I wouldn't remember.  Things like two weeks ago, when Catherine and I went out to dinner just the two of us.  I was really tired and kind of dreading hearing my little chatter box, but I had a blast and just soaked it all up.  Or last night, when Thomas finished dinner and just came over and sat next to me and leaned his head on my shoulder.  Oh my, love these little people in my life.  Of course, they really aren't so little anymore!

I'm glad I didn't go

Today was a big Christmas home tour in my home town.  There were 11 old Victorian homes on Main St. that were open and decorated...and one of them was my parents' old house.  My parents bought their dream home and we moved into it right after my freshmen year of high school.  My dad spent the next three years restoring the inside, and then the next few years building a giant back porch and brick patio...all keeping with the design of the house.  I moved out the fall after I graduated from college (seven years after I moved in) and my parents lived there another nine years before moving into the current house.  Neither of them really wanted to move, but my Dad's health made it necessary.  It was a 3000 sq ft home with all the bedrooms upstairs...and being an older home required a great deal of upkeep.  I haven't been back to that house in nine years since the day they moved out.  I really debated about whether or not I wanted to see it again, and while I could've made the trip, the schedule of the last couple of days and the rainy weather made pajamas and football seem a whole lot more enticing than a 75 minute (each way) drive and the possibility of an emotional reaction.

I just saw some pictures that a friend took when she went through.  The current owners (same as the ones who purchased from my parents) have made surprisingly few changes, especially considering they've lived there nine years.  The paint colors and even wallpaper borders were exactly the same.  My dad's back porch (it was where he loved to spend his time) looked the same also...and I'm so glad I didn't make that trip to see it in person.  Even though I actually lived in my childhood home (just around the corner from the Main St. Victorian) longer than I lived in this open house, some of my most favorite memories are right there.  While I'm amazingly grateful for those memories, I'm just not ready to come that close to reliving them right now, and to seeing changes that may have been made.  As it turns out, I'm really glad I didn't go.

A first for me

Yesterday afternoon I was taking Robert to dive workout practice (three times a week they work out in the weight room).  Our town's high school is located just outside of town and back in what used to be a field.  Yesterday as we were making the drive down the lane, this "thing" suddenly ran out strutting in front of me and I had to slam on the breaks so hard everything unsecured came flying forward (fortunately just mail).  As it ran on its way on the other side I said to Robert, "What the hell was that?"  He calmly replied, "A wild turkey."  Never in my life had I experienced such a thing, although I do know that they live around here.  It was definitely a sight I shall not soon forget!

It still comes out of nowhere

I just received an email that made me bow my head and begin to cry...I didn't expect to still react like that so quickly over a year later.  My grandmother has made a little Christmas planter and wanted to set it at Dad's grave site.  I can accept the fact that my Dad is gone and I'm at peace with it.  Of course I still miss him and of course it hurts sometimes, but I am very aware of the greater picture of life.  But Grandma's email made the tears flow again, and it's less about my dad than about her son.  No one should EVER have to bury their child.  While I know that my grandmother is also able to appreciate that Dad is no longer suffering, it doesn't change the fact that she outlived her son.  As a mother myself, that reality is heartbreaking.  It also made me think about the fact that Dad doesn't have a grave marker yet.  He is buried next to what will be my mother's spot, which is next to her parents.  Grandma also owns four plots "above" those four, so the stones are already in place.  However, Mom wanted some particular etching done on the stone, and because she got sick as the weather got warmer, it hasn't happened yet.  Regardless of any of that, I am sometimes still amazed by how quickly emotions can overcome.

How we spent Thanksgiving weekend

We had a nice Thanksgiving weekend.  Tuesday was continued school craziness, but that evening we sat down together as a family and watched a few Friends Thanksgiving episodes.  They have some of the best ever, and the kids are now old enough that we can all enjoy it together!  Wednesday we cleaned and picked up before my in-laws arrived, and I made a quick journey to my hometown to visit friends in town from North Carolina...along with their precious five-week-old baby.  Thursday we enjoyed a fabulous meal and terrific company at my aunt & uncle's house, and Friday we took in a high school hockey game and some Christmas lights while mostly just hanging out before my in-laws left early Saturday morning.  Saturday was Christmas decorating, and putting the ornaments on our trees is my favorite activity every year.  We all look forward to it!  Yesterday we finished decorating and putting the house back together, and of course all weekend we enjoyed football!  The Ohio State/Michigan game went exactly as we had hoped, but our Steelers lost yesterday.  For the most part, we all enjoyed the time together.

On the downside, our weekend was full of teenage crap (there really isn't another word for it).  Catherine had an absolute meltdown last night, and she is entirely too old to be behaving this way.  Robert was also up to his old shenanigans again, and honestly it kind of makes me want to throw up.  I really thought he had turned a corner, and I don't think he understands what he is doing to the trust factor.  I just can't help but feel sickened by it, and I can't begin to express how much I have prayed for guidance and good choices.

We have nothing exciting going on this week, but I am grateful to be heading into the holidays.  My shopping is about 75% finished, so I am looking forward to enjoying the season!