Not myself

I don't know if it is age or stress, but I am just not myself these days.  I used to be on top of things and know exactly what was happening, and what needed to happen at all times.  Now though, I'm slipping.  I certainly acknowledge there is more going on in life than we used to have to worry about, and the stakes are higher.  By that I mean that if a kid missed a practice, it was rec league and not a big deal.  Now, it's high school, and there better be a good excuse to miss practice.  I'm not complaining...high school sports have a business aspect to it and I totally get that.  It's just that I'm not feeling on "top of my game" these days. 

I acknowledge that I am 40 and that could be a part of it...I'm not getting younger!  But I also acknowledge in addition to my own household's activities, I also have other things going on in life.  I now have my Mom's doctor appointments on my calendar as well.  I haven't attended the ones with her this month as she is doing better, but some further complications have also developed, and while we still don't know where we are going with it and maybe there isn't much to worry about, it's in the back of my head.  Yesterday I was getting a new battery in the van and I suddenly had a realization...for the last 18-1/2 years, I've had a sick parent for all of it but four months.  It certainly hasn't been critical every single day, but it's always been there.  That perspective did help me to cut myself a little slack!