Our special day as a family

This is the special day we celebrate as a family each year...our official day as a family.  I am so thankful for the blessings that are my life everyday, but today is the reminder that it really is a gift. 

I've been so emotional this week, and honestly, it's been the hardest week, hands down, that I've ever had as a parent.  Today is a day of celebration though, and we certainly have celebrated!  In their games this morning, Catherine and Thomas each got to score their first points of the season.  Unfortunately, both teams lost, but I'm grateful they each got a basket in.  Robert came in third in the league in his dive competition this morning.  We are celebrating third place, even though there were only three competitors in the entire league. :)  All of this happened prior to 11:00 so we had lunch at Bob Evans and then Andrew has taken the kids to the university basketball games and I'm home for a while before I have to work at the swim meet this evening.  These days are insanely busy, but I'm so grateful for the business.  Andrew and I joke how we used to think as a newly married couple that we were so busy...and then when the kids were younger we realized how busy we were NOT as a newly married couple.  Now that the kids are older and there are so many opportunities, we realize how NOT busy we were when they were younger!  I wouldn't trade any of this...not the ups, downs, or anything in between!

A very unexpected day at home

This morning it was about ten minutes before Catherine was to get on the bus when our phone rang...we were on a school delay.  Yesterday things had been fairly icy so we assumed it was that, and there also seemed to be a fresh dusting of snow.  I really thought nothing about it and went back to sleep...although we did realize it was unbelievably late to be making that call.  Less than an hour later I was awakened again by the phone ringing...school was closed.  We were absolutely stunned.  None of the school districts around us were even delayed, and that includes very rural districts that close at the drop of a hat.  As the day progressed, apparently we had a heck of a snow burst that hit around 5:45/6:00 this morning creating almost blizzard like conditions for a brief period of time.  The buses had already gone out and picked up kids, but were radioing back to the garage that the roads were dangerous and unsafe.  Because this wasn't in the forecast there was absolutely no pre-treatment, and the the salt trucks and drivers weren't even prepared to go out because it hadn't been expected, so the delay didn't provide enough time for things to be cleared.  It's really the most bizarre snow day ever!  And give the fact that there is somewhere around 3-6" forecasted for Sunday I'm thinking we have a decent shot at a four day weekend!

The conversation made me cry

We had kind of a crazy evening today as Robert had a dive meet this evening.  It was here in town, which is what made it a little crazy as we wanted to get there to watch.  As we are scrambling for dinner preparedness, Catherine mentions that there was an announcement while she was in ELA that no one was allowed to leave their classrooms and they were all to remains where they were.  Apparently it was a drug search, but she is unclear of the details, so obviously so am I.  She did tell me though, that her ELA teacher mentioned that had it been made known there was an "active shooter" (the current PC words) that he and another student (I'm uncertain as to why this particular student) would be helping everyone to jump out the windows (they are on the first floor) and they are all to run to the nearest house.  She was very matter-of-fact about the entire thing, but it made me sick to my stomach and I left the room to cry.  I get the reality...this is a conversation her teacher needed to have with them.  It's the fact that it is indeed a reality that makes me sick and cry.  Sending up extra prayers for peace.

Ridiculously giddy about my new curtains

When we moved into this house, there was only one set of window treatments in the entire place...denim blue valances over the living room bay window.  They matched beautifully with the denim blue couch that had been left for us by the previous owners, and I hated them both.  The couch was replaced shortly after we moved in, but I was having the most difficult time finding valances that I liked.  To start, I needed something with color because the walls are all off-white, and I wanted something that could stand out.  At the same time, I wanted something with rather neutral colors because I like things to be versatile.  They also needed to have 3" rod openings, and the few I could find that I liked didn't meet that requirement.  Finally last week I ordered some that I really like, and when I saw on the shipping tracking that they were scheduled to arrive yesterday, I almost couldn't contain my excitement!  When the box arrived late afternoon I immediately opened them and was literally giddy about putting them up.  Unfortunately, it was at least a two person job (and at times it required four of us) and it was about dinner time, so it had to wait.  They finally got up about 7:00 last night, and I absolutely could not be happier about them.  I love them!!!!!  It is such a small and minor change, and honestly there is a good chance that people who have been here before aren't even going to notice that they've changed.  But I know, and I'm thrilled.  I have never been this excited about curtains before!

I feel weary

I'll be honest, I am feeling weary these days, and it's why I haven't written lately.  I feel beat down, high on anxiety, and honestly a little lost.  I can handle many behaviors from my children...sneakiness and deceitfulness are not among those.  I simply have no tolerance or patience for lying.  I am absolutely no where near being a perfect parent.  I certainly have had times in life when I didn't even feel like a "good" parent, but our expectations regarding honesty have always been clear...it is one of the few parenting certainties I have.  And I certainly don't think our expectations are hypocritical since Andrew and I tell the truth.  Dealing with Robert and Catherine and the continuous, almost automatic lies (and in Catherine's case, the unbelievable temper that follows being caught) has zapped me to the core of my soul.  I don't mean to sound overly dramatic, but I'm spent.  I haven't even answered the phone today because I'm not certain I have the emotional stamina to deal with whatever may be on the other end (there is also family drama happening in my mother's family that I will not be disclosing...just typical family crap).  The fact that my volunteer job as treasurer has been made more difficult in spite of my efforts to communicate and provide a simpler method is just enough to push me over the edge.  The frigid temps keeping us indoors don't help either, although I am grateful for the abundant sunshine today.

I will say that one upside to all of this is that all of it has certainly brought out the praying in me.  It's almost a constant dialogue these days between praying for guidance, peace, strength, and many other things, I do feel closer to God!

Married with children

No, this isn't about the TV show (a show which I can't stand, by the way).  It's about this current phase in life.  Andrew and I have always been good about keeping our marriage strong.  We've always been good about communicating and not always putting the children in front of the marriage...we feel that is very important.  At the same time, I am beginning to understand how, if a couple isn't careful, after the kids are grown there is suddenly a disconnect and you feel as though you are living with a stranger.  Please know, our marriage is NOT in any kind of trouble, it's just a realization of the next phase of our life...and by realizing we can be proactive.  And also, please know there will be NO over disclosure here!

When the kids were little, Andrew and I found it very easy to have a date night.  Even though we didn't want to pay for a sitter terribly often, the kids went to bed fairly early.  There was a nice restaurant in town that had fabulous ribeye steaks, and we would often bring them in and have a late dinner as our date night.  Theoretically, as the kids got older, it should've been easier...and for a couple of years it was.  They were old enough to be left alone long enough for us to grab a quick dinner.  Then however, some trust issues occurred and that became more challenging...and now it's just down right tough.  With the kids (particularly Robert) being old enough to have their own schedules and plans, we need to be available to transport which can make a date night difficult.  There is also the fact that the kids now stay up significantly later.  Although they've done that for a few years, now, Robert especially, is old enough to want to watch the same TV shows that we watch.  We enjoy his company, but at the same time our evening chat time of just Andrew and I is gone.  I'm not complaining that Robert is joining us, it's just a change and something that Andrew and I need to pay attention to...we need to make sure that we are making time to be a couple and communicate.  I know that it will happen and I know that we'll be fine, but it's a new realization for me!

I know it won't last, but we will take it while we've got it!

Andrew and I have spoken quite a bit about the peace that is in our house right now...particularly with the teenagers.  I know that this isn't going to last forever, but oh, it's so great right now!  Believe it or not, Robert is just about my favorite person in the whole world.  He has his "friend" Elizabeth, who I'm pretty sure is the greatest thing since sliced bread.  Andrew and I are actually a little disappointed that she isn't allowed to date...she is a fabulous influence on our son!  Instead of the mopey, moody, and sneaky teen that lives in our house, we have a happy, fun-loving, actually reads-his-texts-to-me teen because he thinks Elizabeth is so funny and wants to share what she writes.

We know this isn't going to last forever...not even close.  There are still hundreds of poor choices in his future.  There are still going to be days when I pray that we figure out how to get through each day.  There are going to be days when I cry and worry about the future for him...but those days aren't today.  He is making good choices, and we've talked about how much more freedoms and happiness there is in life when we can trust his choices.  For right now, we are just going to soak it all in!

A packed weekend with a lot of fun!

We had another busy weekend around here, but having today off gives us a little bit of down time!

Friday evening Robert had weight lifting and then had to play in the pep band at the high school basketball game.  Thomas had an extra basketball practice so we squeezed in a quick dinner of grilled cheese and baked beans before everyone headed their separate ways.  Catherine and I hung out watching TV, although I was little disappointed I couldn't get her to really chat with me...maybe next time!  Shortly after everyone arrived home it was bed time.

Saturday morning was a very early wake up...4:30!  I had to be at the rec center at 6AM for my volunteer shift at the swim/dive meet.  We hosted 33 teams and it is our biggest (and gratefully, only) fundraiser of the year.  It was a very busy morning and I ended up staying longer than scheduled to help out and didn't get home until 11AM.  In the meantime, Andrew had taken the boys to our former town and to Robert's scout meeting.  We all seem to agree that Thomas will be joining this group as well and he needed to check it out.  Shortly after we all made it home, Andrew took Robert to the rec center for his dive warm ups and after grabbing a quick bite to eat, Andrew was out the door with Thomas to his game and I was out with Catherine to her game...divide and conquer time since they both played at the same time in different locations.  Catherine's team played well and they won, but Thomas's team wasn't so lucky.  Following that we met up quickly so that Andrew could take the kids to the local university women's basketball game (they were having dollar days with only $1 admission so we decided to take advantage).  I got back to the dive meet as quickly as I could, but unfortunately it was over and we had missed it all.  I hated that, but I know that Robert understood.  It's just really tough when there are three of them with activities all at the exact same time!  Since he had finished earlier than expected we decided to join the others at the women's game, and by the time we were home for dinner I was pretty worn out.  We enjoyed our evening together with home made pizza and episodes of "Friends".  It really was a fun day.

Yesterday Andrew took the younger two to church while I went back to the rec center for yesterday's volunteer shift.  I took Robert with me because although he wasn't participating, he has a sweet friend-who-is-a-girl-but-isn't-allowed-to-date-so-we-don't-call-her-girlfriend who was swimming so I took him so he could watch her.  When the meet was over we were able to be home for a couple of hours and get some things accomplished before heading out the door to visit my grandmother.  My mom joined us and we brought dinner in, and we just all enjoyed the visit so very much.  We stayed much later than I had anticipated, but I don't regret that one bit.  When we finally made it home we just hung out, and this morning there was sleeping in...which we all enjoyed as well!

Great news for my mom

Twelve days ago, my mother had her esophageal procedure.  I was in tears when her friend called that morning to let me know that things had been successful.  We were all on cloud nine and my mom was immediately able to begin drinking liquids and eating soft foods.

Last week she had to return to Michigan for her follow up appointment.  Her doctor was beyond thrilled with how things had gone and she was released from his care with instructions of being allowed to eat anything at all that she wanted and to follow up as needed with her GI doc here.  We are all so excited!  She has really jumped on the eating bandwagon, and I know how much she is enjoying being able to eat again.  She even ate some potato chips last night!  We are all so grateful!

I choose to live with faith

We were visiting with some friends this past weekend, and they mentioned their latest endeavor...a survival kit.  This isn't an "in case the power is out a few days" kit, this is a "most of the country/planet is dead and we are going to try to make it" kit.  We are talking materials and supplies with the ability to literally seals themselves off from the world for several days, along with enough stored gasoline to drive hours away from the disaster.  I absolutely agree that everyone should be prepared for disasters...both natural and terrorist disasters.  However, I am honestly not sure that I would want to survive the magnitude of crises for which they have prepared.  I am not faulting, blaming, or judging them...not at all.  I admire their plans.

It got me thinking though.  We absolutely need to be prepared and ready for a disaster.  However, I am also choosing to live with faith.  I could worry and worry and prepare and plan, and perhaps would still never be completely ready for whatever might happen.  Instead, I choose to live on faith...not solely so as we do need to be prepared for a few days without power or something such as that.  After all, God helps those who help themselves!  Honestly though, I choose to not worry and dwell on the negative...it's just what I've decided to do.

And taking it one step further...Andrew and I chatted last night and while I am going to renew my sub license and get on the list for next year, it is going to be minimal and I will be picky about the assignments I choose.  We already are aware of expenses that will increase in the fall and not having any income at all is simply not an option.  However, I should be able to work 4-5 days a month and cover those extra expenses without drastically changing our lives here at home or my availability for my mom.  And that is a leap of faith that I'm definitely willing to take.  We've been very blessed in life and I never forget to be grateful for that!

A very happy, albeit tired, state

And I mean pretty much the entire state of Ohio!  Many of us stayed up past Midnight last night to cheer our Buckeyes onto victory.  It was a really great game...for both sides in the first half.  The second half saw Ohio State begin to dominate, and even when I knew the game was a victory, I couldn't bring myself to go to bed...I had to see the official end.  It's been twelve years since we've been able to celebrate being national champs, but the future of OSU football sure does look bright!

A wrap up of our weekend

We had a pretty typical January weekend.  NOT in love with how the Broncos game went yesterday, nor am I one bit pleased that the Patriots are still in it, but at least the Packers won...and I really didn't care about the other game.  Our Flyers are also having a great season in spite of being down to six scholarship players...and we love watching sports while we are INDOORS this time of year.  School was delayed this morning due to the ice that was received overnight, but everyone is in school today.  Too bad this weather couldn't have been tonight...after all we will all be up late watching the Buckeyes!!!!!!

Robert had an away dive meet Friday and because of the distance and the temps we didn't go.  He said that he wasn't overly pleased with his results and his scores.  Catherine and Thomas both had their first basketball games of the season Saturday morning.  Catherine's team looked pretty good, although we did notice that even though she is the oldest on the team (in some cases by two years) she is still the shortest.  Thomas's team didn't look so swell, but his coach has plenty of ideas for improvements.  We also had made plans some time ago to visit friends on Saturday evening where our kids can hang out and relax...that is always a treat.  It was a very late evening, but it's always good to be with our friends. 

This week is another busy week in our house, but I am always grateful for the opportunities!

We are home again

The call came before 5AM...no school again today!  This one was because of the dangerous temps and wind chill.  Last night when we went to bed it was already -3 with a windchill of -17.  I am very grateful that we all get to be home again today...especially since there is nothing on our calendar for this evening!

A day of great news, and pretty crappy news

Yesterday morning my prayers were answered!  Mom's friend Debbie called and said Mom's procedure had gone even better than hoped.  She'd already had a sip of water and it went down very well, and by the end of the day she'd had applesauce.  My mom was EATING again!  There just aren't words to describe my joy.  As Debbie said, if she could do a cartwheel she'd have done one right then.  Mom has to stay in Michigan until tomorrow morning, and again, I can't adequately express my gratitude to Debbie for being there with her.  Our day was filled with a great joy!

But unfortunately, last evening's news was equally devastating.  I've written before about the health problems of Andrew's brother.  Over the last couple of weeks, we had learned that he had lost his sight.  Many in the family seemed to think it was due to a virus he'd had at Christmas, but knowing that he was a diabetic had me concerned as vision problems are a common complication.  We learned last night that the vision loss is permanent.  Andrew's brother is not a person who deals with adversity well, and this will be a very difficult pill to swallow.  Due to a wound on his foot, he is currently in a health facility, and will be for the next couple of months.  What happens next remains to be seen.

It's hard to believe that such a high and a low could both occur in the same day.  I send up both prayers of gratitude, and of peace.

I was naive

Before my mom's cancer diagnosis, I was completely naive about the disease.  I basically thought one of two things happened...either 1) you got really, really sick and died, or 2) you didn't die.  My mom had thyroid cancer 13 years ago, but other than the initial surgery and one (JUST ONE) round of radiation, that was the end of that.  My grandmother had ovarian cancer eight years ago.  She had surgery and some chemo (I don't remember how much), but she was almost back to her normal self just three months later.  My mom has been finished with her treatments for 4-1/2 months, and I now realize how life altering this diagnosis has been.  She has fallen several times, and is in the process of working with her doctor and insurance to get a footed walking cane.  The thought is that the radiation has impacted her equilibrium, and there is no telling when, or if, it is going to right itself.  Because the chemo is essentially toxic and poisonous, her kidneys are being closely watched because the numbers from blood work are not where they want them to be.  And of course, there is the esophagus issue.  She is one of the less than 1% of patients who have this severe esophageal shrinkage, but it's there all right.  Mom has dealt with everything with such grace and determination...and sometimes I'm just not sure how she does it.  Yesterday she and her friend were traveling north for today's procedure.  Understandably, mom has some anxiety, but as always is upbeat and ready to move forward.  About the time I was thinking they should be there, my sister called to let me know she had to stop at a hospital en route because her feeding tube had become dislodged.  That sucker has been in place for 6-1/2 months, and THAT was the day it became a problem?  What are the chances?????  I just hate that my mom has to continue to deal with all of this crap...and I've learned how naive I was about the entire cancer experience.  Beating the cancer is only part of the battle.  Granted, it's an absolutely HUGE part, but still only part.  The other part is hoping that the treatment doesn't kill you.  I had no idea all of the complications and consequences.

Don't get me wrong, I am not complaining that my mother has beaten cancer.  I know many people who would gladly live with these complications just to be alive, and my mother is one of them.  This isn't a complaint...it is an empathetic realization of life with a cancer diagnosis.

I don't like the sounds out there

Because I have, up until this house, always lived in houses that were built around 1910 or earlier, I've always heard the wind howl.  It's not been unusual to actually hear the windows rattle from the wind.  I recognize that is a lack of energy efficiency, but I do love older houses with character.  Since we moved here though, while this house is still 50 years old and not air tight either, it's definitely different than before.  Today though, I can hear that wind howling again.  I am very disappointed that negative wind chills do not warrant a school delay, and there is no way in you-know-what that my children are waiting out for the bus in those temperatures.  I checked earlier and it felt like -9, but when I just checked again it had actually dropped to -11.  Tonight and tomorrow are supposed to be even worse.  Given my ramped up emotions this morning, the howling just sounds haunting.

Prayers for my mom

This afternoon my mom is heading to Michigan, and first thing tomorrow morning her procedure will be performed.  I am beyond grateful for her friend who is taking her.  This woman insisted from the beginning that she take her, and even took off several days of work this week in order to do so.  It's so very generous of her.  She is a single woman who never married and has no kids, and she and Mom have been friends since high school.  There also has to be someone trained in a medical procedure and since I tend to faint over such things, I was immediately grateful that my distance made me less than an ideal candidate.  My mom's best friend since the 3rd grade has volunteered to be that person.  I sincerely hope that I can someday be the friend to someone that these ladies, and many others, have been to my mom.  In the meantime, I am sending up many prayers for safe travels (I'm glad it should be much easier to travel by this afternoon) and of course, sending up many prayers that the procedure is successful.  We've been told that if this doesn't work, we are out of options.  Here's to hoping all turns out well!

An entire day of school

So far this year the kids got one full day of school in...and now everyone is home again today.  I love snow days as much as the next person, but really?  So soon????  We were all pretty sure yesterday that this was going to be the case, and with single and sub zero temps over the next two days I'm not sure they'll be back in before Friday.  If that is the case, we will need to dig out some board games...we aren't going to have three full days of TV!

This house feels so empty

Not only is everyone back at school today, but the Christmas decorations are all down and put away.  This house feels so empty without all of the decorations up.  I told Andrew last night that while I was really glad things were put away, I really miss the Christmas tree lights.  I guess maybe I need some more winter decorations, but I don't need the house to feel cluttered either.

I dropped Thomas off at school just about 1/2 hour ago...and now the quiet has really set in.  I only have 6-1/2 hours until they start coming home again, and today I'm grateful they'll be home.  Life is much cozier when we are all under one roof...and there is a bit of noise!

Mixed Feelings

I have very mixed feelings about the end of this break.  On one hand, I am chomping at the bit to have the house put back together, and to have everyone in school again so I can enjoy quiet time each day.  On another hand, oh, this break was so relaxing.  Andrew even mentioned to me the other day how much he enjoyed having so much together time, and not just he and I.  We loved the evenings we spent with the kids curled up on the couch watching TV, or playing games.  We had some fabulous times over this break...and not just the times spent with extended family.  We were able to visit the Reds Hall of Fame and he and I had dinner on our own one evening.  We were able to make a quick visit to see our friends who were in town from Missouri, and even though the visit was short, the time spent with his parents was wonderful.  Andrew and the boys were able to visit with his brother (I'll write about him in another post) and it was all just a really special two weeks.

I am so grateful for the life I have...it is blessed more than I could ever imagine!

Happy birthday to my husband

I have the most amazing husband ever, and today is his birthday.  I absolutely can not imagine going through this crazy journey of life without him.  He has been my rock throughout all of the tough times of our marriage, and especially the last 18 months.  I have no idea what I would do without him.  Unfortunately, he has to spend the day working as a site manager, but we are hoping that he will be home this evening in time for him to watch the Steelers game...if not he will be SOOOOOO unhappy!  I am so grateful for each and every day with him!

The end of the holidays

We are back from our extremely quick trip to my in-laws, and the end of the holidays are officially upon us.  I am dismantling the decorations, and I truly don't mind.  I am looking forward to a return to "normal", although the business of it feels a little overwhelming.  I'll come back another time to recap our quick trip!

The beginning of another year

I love how we spent New Year's Eve last night.  We were able to squeeze in a quick visit with our friends from MO who moved there several years ago, and whom I hadn't seen earlier in the week because of Catherine.  My favorite part though, was all of us curling up in the family room watching episodes of "Friends".  I love that my kids are now old enough to enjoy the show...and Thomas's laugh has always been one of the most contagious sounds ever.  We all struggled to stay awake until Midnight, but we did, and I love ringing in the new year with my kiddos.

Catherine was diagnosed with strep throat yesterday, and the doctor felt confidant that she would be good to travel today.  She clearly felt better even last night, so we are making just about the shortest trip ever in order to have dinner with the in-laws.  I'm very grateful for how everything has worked out.

Happy New Year friends!  May it be full of more blessings than you count, and one of the best ever!