I was naive

Before my mom's cancer diagnosis, I was completely naive about the disease.  I basically thought one of two things happened...either 1) you got really, really sick and died, or 2) you didn't die.  My mom had thyroid cancer 13 years ago, but other than the initial surgery and one (JUST ONE) round of radiation, that was the end of that.  My grandmother had ovarian cancer eight years ago.  She had surgery and some chemo (I don't remember how much), but she was almost back to her normal self just three months later.  My mom has been finished with her treatments for 4-1/2 months, and I now realize how life altering this diagnosis has been.  She has fallen several times, and is in the process of working with her doctor and insurance to get a footed walking cane.  The thought is that the radiation has impacted her equilibrium, and there is no telling when, or if, it is going to right itself.  Because the chemo is essentially toxic and poisonous, her kidneys are being closely watched because the numbers from blood work are not where they want them to be.  And of course, there is the esophagus issue.  She is one of the less than 1% of patients who have this severe esophageal shrinkage, but it's there all right.  Mom has dealt with everything with such grace and determination...and sometimes I'm just not sure how she does it.  Yesterday she and her friend were traveling north for today's procedure.  Understandably, mom has some anxiety, but as always is upbeat and ready to move forward.  About the time I was thinking they should be there, my sister called to let me know she had to stop at a hospital en route because her feeding tube had become dislodged.  That sucker has been in place for 6-1/2 months, and THAT was the day it became a problem?  What are the chances?????  I just hate that my mom has to continue to deal with all of this crap...and I've learned how naive I was about the entire cancer experience.  Beating the cancer is only part of the battle.  Granted, it's an absolutely HUGE part, but still only part.  The other part is hoping that the treatment doesn't kill you.  I had no idea all of the complications and consequences.

Don't get me wrong, I am not complaining that my mother has beaten cancer.  I know many people who would gladly live with these complications just to be alive, and my mother is one of them.  This isn't a complaint...it is an empathetic realization of life with a cancer diagnosis.