Yesterday, I honestly felt lousy. Between the migraine and the miserable allergies, I just felt lousy. While sleeping the day away felt almost necessary, it wasn't an option. I had three doz. cupcakes to make for a church dinner and a band banquet last night, and Robert was going to need his track uniform washed from his meet Tuesday evening so that he could pack it last evening for today's meet. Why didn't I plan ahead for the cupcakes? Actually, I did. I wasn't going to be able to get the church cupcakes to the dinner so I had to have them there by noon before the secretary left for the day...planning ahead! I didn't have a chance to make them Tuesday evening because I was at a meeting for band. I didn't make them during the day because Catherine and Thomas wanted to have the daughter of one of Andrew's colleagues over after school Tuesday so I had cleaned the house all day, but still managed to get us a hot dinner after playdate and before meeting! Monday I had spent the evening working at a band concert and had spent the day working on laundry, house things, and getting information and reports ready for the band meeting. Sunday we had spend the day at my mom's house helping her with things there. I'm not complaining about any of this...just pointing out how busy the last couple of days had been.
I mentioned to Andrew Tuesday evening that he would need to get Thomas off the bus at 3:45 because I had to take Catherine to a track party at 3:30 and there was no guarantee I could get back in time. He would then need to pick up Robert from practice at 4:30 because I had to be setting up for the band banquet, and then get Catherine at 5:30 from her party...rushing home so that he and Robert could get to the banquet at 6:00. This is our life and I'm not complaining...but Andrew did. He said that was a lot of information to remember. Well, yeah, but it's what needs to happen. It all fell into place and when they arrived at the banquet (late) I explained that I wouldn't be able to sit with them because I had to man the food tables. I did make it over for a minute and mentioned how much I appreciated him running the kids around so I could help with the banquet. He pointed out (again) that he had just been running and going and that he hadn't really had a chance to relax (although I do know for a fact that he closed his eyes for 20 minutes because I had to wake him up in order to go get Robert from practice). I'll be honest, by that point I was just miffed with everything. I was well aware that the kids' schedules are sometimes not fun to deal with because I am the one who handles them pretty much every. darn. day.
I had to stay and clean up after the banquet (don't even get me started on the fact that there are over 80 members of the band but it's basically the same set of seven or eight parents that do all the work) and by the time I got home last evening it was after 8:30. I walked in to find that although it is after bedtime, neither Catherine nor Thomas are bathed, the mound of "clean" clothing that has been stacked for over a week and his now beginning to fall onto the floor that I had specifically told Thomas to put away was still there, and Andrew didn't seem to think any of this was a big deal. When I asked Robert if he had his track uniform packed and he became defensive that I dare question his responsibility level, I pretty much lost it. I turned into a raving maniac. I began ranting about how lousy I had felt all day, and that I HAD to get things accomplished because they were all things that my family NEEDED me to do even though they didn't know it! I ranted how they just take for granted that all the things that they need accomplished just happen for them without any acknowledgement, and that even when I'm not home in the evenings it's because I'm out at a meeting or an activity for them! Catherine then began mentioning other things that she needed me to take care of and I asked why I was just hearing about them. She pointed out that she had been telling Andrew because I'd been gone in the evenings this week. Andrew informed me that he assumed Catherine knew to tell me because I handle these things, and Catherine of course assumed she had fulfilled her obligation by telling a parent, so nothing had been handled. At that point I just began to cry. I told them all that apparently I needed to go find a job outside the house where people might actually respect and appreciate what I do each day...and then they would all find out exactly how much I actually do at home! I pointed out that I had felt so miserable yesterday but had pushed through in order to make sure they had clean uniforms and something to take to banquets and clean underwear! Not only did no one show any appreciation, but they all seemed absolutely aghast that I didn't seem to understand that they just expected it all to be handled.
I know that Andrew was angry at me for overreacting to the situation. And I know that I did, and I very much regret that I did. I truly do love being home during the day and being able to have our family as my only focus, and I am blessed that we can make this work. At the same time, a person can only take so much! I know that I do not like one bit how our evening went last night and hope that I can make better choices and react better in the future. I also hope that the other members of this family recognize their part in how things went, and will also take action to avoid similar problems happenings.
I know this is a really long blog post, and I know these are all pretty much "first world" problems. Life is wonderful and I never forget that! Being a mom is the greatest gift ever, but I'm putting this out there because I know I'm not the only one who ever has days like this!
No comments:
Post a Comment