The last day of this year

Another end of another year...wow.  My initial thought was that this one had been pretty good...and overall, it has been.  It's been a year in which I've been able to count my many blessings.

However, it has been the worst year of my life in terms of parenting.  We have dealt with things with Robert that never in a million years did I ever think we'd have to experience.  I remember telling him earlier this year that the worst day of my life was not the day my dad died, it was the day I discovered some of the stunts he had pulled...and that isn't an overstatement.

Sadly, it continued yesterday.  We learned about another stunt, and this one is pretty serious.  Not jail time serious, but I'll be honest, he's on that path.  As we were discussing the situation with him last evening, he became so angry he punched the floor.  We spent the evening in the emergency room confirming that his hand was very severely broken and that he will most likely be needing surgery.  There aren't even words to discuss my feelings about the situation.

This morning, I emailed his scout leader to let her know about a change in plans, and explained he wouldn't be attending any overnight events anytime soon...and then I sat here and cried.  I honestly, truly don't know what to do anymore.  Sadly, this is a repeat of behavior, and I feel more lost than I ever have in my life.  We aren't talking little things...he is truly affecting the trajectory of his life at this point and limiting his options.  I just don't know where to go from here...I'm not even sure I know what to pray for at this point.

I told him last night that this didn't really get serious until January, and it better end right there last night in the same year.  I'm not remotely optimistic about that though...we've been through too much at this point.

In between Christmas and New Year

We left Saturday to spend a couple of days with my in-laws.  It was honestly the nicest visit we've had in quite some time.  There has been a lot of tension and stress on our visits lately, but this one truly was very enjoyable.  In fact, we even decided to stay a few extra hours yesterday.  I'm glad we didn't stay much later though, because the last hour+ of our drive was absolutely miserable with pounding rain in the dark.

I am so looking forward to the next five days.  We have a few things planned, but still plenty of downtime.  The one thing we know for sure is that there will be a crockpot meal and plenty of football for New Year's Day!!

Santa was here!

Santa was here and everyone seems pleased.  I am most excited about my husband's gift of tickets to a Reds' game, although the way things are going they won't recognize any of the players!  I knew he would be excited about it.  Thomas received only one Lego set from Santa, but he's already begun to put it together.  Catherine is playing a new video game, and Robert is watching a movie trying not to fall asleep (the life of a busy teen).  More than anything, I am so amazingly grateful for the moments of today.  I am grateful to spend it with these three amazing children and my fabulous husband...and I'm so grateful that we are so healthy.

Before too long, we will be heading to my sister's house.  I am looking forward to more Christmas and the day with family!

Merry Christmas!

This weather is absurd

Our weather around here has been less than festive.  I simply refuse to allow the grass to be mowed at Christmas!  But yes folks, we actually could if we really wanted to do so.  We had thought that we might go see some lights.  However, at 4:30 the tornado watches (and evening warnings) began to pop up and we decided to stay home.  We were never in the direct path of any tornadic storms, but the area we wanted to visit was...and we did have some severe storms with winds and downpours as well.  Talk about insanity.  I mean good grief...tornados at Christmas??

Christmas Eve 2015

It's Christmas Eve in our house.  Robert has to work today, but only for three hours.  He will be finished in time for church.  Catherine is acolyting, Thomas is doing power point, Andrew and I are greeting (w/ Robert) and then we come home for our evening.  I'm learning to let go, as we've had very specific Christmas Eve plans since we moved here, but with Robert having a job he is going to a work party this evening.  It isn't late, and I don't mind.  We decided to go ahead and watch Charlie Brown's Christmas last evening, and then we watched another movie as a family.  Tuesday the kids watched college basketball with me, and I really enjoy the fact that we are spending our evenings together as a family.  I'm so incredibly grateful for that!  This evening we will have a dinner of ham and "the fixings" and will use our good China and crystal dishes.

I've been so very emotional about Christmas this year.  I think partly because it just doesn't feel like Christmas...it's in the 60's here for Pete's sake!!!!  I'm also recognizing that my kids are getting older, and this just really feels like it is our last opportunity for solid weeks of togetherness and family time.  Time flies by, and there is nothing I can do to keep my kids little...all I can do is treasure the moments and memories that we are making this year!

The beginning of this year's break

The beginning of our break has not been the most fun to be honest.  I really wanted things picked up around the house, and the kids really just wanted to sit, veg, and do absolutely nothing.  They also wanted to have a horrible attitude and bicker plenty.  It made for some very long days, especially yesterday when I wouldn't let them just sit and watch TV...which really shouldn't surprise them!

We did celebrate Christmas with my Dad's side on Sunday.  It was a nice day, but overall I think everyone just kind of wanted to move on and be done.  Several of us are very displeased with an uncle, and his attitude makes it tough to be around.  The weather doesn't help either, as we are in the process of setting record highs, and frankly we could even mow the grass if we really wanted (which I do not)!

Last evening though, we made popcorn in our "fancy" popper, and everyone gathered in the living room to watch "Sleepless in Seattle".  The kids had never seen it before, and it had been years since I had seen it myself.  I don't think I had seen it since I became a parent, and to be honest, it made me much more emotional this time around.  The kids really enjoyed it though, and it was a very nice way to end our evening.

Today, the house is finally really picked up and I'm REALLY looking forward to relaxing...even if the weather is ridiculously warm!

Our break has begun

We began our break this morning by sleeping in!  Always absolutely wonderful!  Robert had to be at work at 11 and Andrew had to work at 10 at his site managing job, but we still got to sleep in.  It felt so good...I just can't say.

Robert had a dive meet last evening.  He did really well.  For the first time ever he received a 7 and is very pleased with himself.  We are very happy for him as well.

Tomorrow is the beginning of our Christmas celebrations at my grandmother's house.  We've had a cold spell but it is supposed to be a little warmer tomorrow...not too warm that we won't feel like Christmas though.  The actual day itself might be another story though.  We'll worry about that then though.

Looking forward to several days of down time!

Gearing up...to wind down

In just over 24 hours this house will officially be on break...and I just can't wait!!!  Two full weeks of mostly down time seems almost two good to be true!

I also acknowledge that this really could be the end of times like this.  Our summers have become more scheduled with summer swim as well as Robert's job (and Catherine's will follow in years to come, then Thomas and so on).  Even if we don't grant Robert the privilege of swimming next school year, Catherine almost certainly will and the swim schedule STINKS.  Over break they practice Monday-Friday at 8AM and then again at 6PM.  I shouldn't dread it a year in advance, but I kind of do.  I am aware that days on end of unscheduled family time can't be taken for granted, and it isn't limitless.  I know that even with two weeks stretched out before us right now, there will still be commitments and obligations, and it won't all be cheery and gleeful.  However, I plan to enjoy every single minute that I possibly can!

It is what it is

I'm sad to report that the family drama has continued and is now resulting in one of my cousins not attending Christmas this weekend.  It's such a shame that adults can't be adults...and it's also a shame that kids these days have less of a respect for their elders.  The combination of the two could lead to some unpleasantness, and I'm disappointed that one adult is acting as though we all need to choose sides.  Ah, the joys of family.

I also made my sister mad this evening, and I regret that.  I shouldn't have communicated via email...and I wasn't clear in what I was trying to say.  Hopefully she will understand and accept my apology.  We certainly don't need more family drama!

Thomas is beginning to make some poor teen oriented choices.  Oh goodness...here we go again!  Hopefully we can nip this in the bud.

Tonight is Robert's first dive meet of the season.  I'm anxious to see how he does.  He really wanted to swim, but the swimming schedule is ridiculously intense.  Robert also has finals this week.

This house is so looking forward to the two week break coming up beginning Friday.  Bring on the relaxation!!

It's a little hard to be in the spirit

Our weather is ridiculously warm here.  Tomorrow is supposed to be in the low 70's for Pete's sake!  Andrew and Robert are outside working in short sleeve t-shirts...in the middle of December!  It simply doesn't feel one bit like Christmas.

Family can also make it challenging.  I love my family more than I can put into works, but I was in tears earlier today.  The fact that the issues are on my dad's side of the family makes it more emotional for me...I can't help but feel some of this crap wouldn't be happening if Dad were here to handle things.  I also can't help but feel it is my job now, and I want him to be proud of me in how I handle things in my life, and how I deal with our family.  It makes an already emotional situation even more emotional...and that makes it challenging to get excited about seeing everyone next week!

Our saxophonist

Last evening was the first sixth grade band concert, and Thomas's debut as a saxophonist.  He happened to be seated right on the end of his row, so I was able to see him the entire time.  I just can't believe our little guy is all grown up like that!  He had been so excited for this day, and he loved every minute of it!  I just couldn't stop thinking about how grateful I am to be the mom of these three amazing humans!

Frosty fog

Our weather around here has been un-December-like.  Our high's are in the upper 50's and we could even set a record high on Saturday  While I enjoy warmer weather, I prefer my December to fall into Christmas and this isn't happening.  We've had crazy, crazy thick fog lately.  Friday evening I was driving home in the 10PM range, and while driving down roads I drive almost daily, I was completely disoriented and had absolutely no point of reference for where I was on the road.  It was unnerving, to say the least.

Saturday morning the fog continued, and it lead to a beautiful sight.  The frozen fog settled on everything and it looked absolutely gorgeous.  I took pictures of the fog on the cob webs and on the greenery...it was just so beautiful!

This morning it another very foggy morning.  I could tell it was foggy when the kids went out to the bus, and it's only become foggier.  Right now I can't see the bus stop, and earlier I couldn't see the house across the street.  I can now since it is lighter out, but this is some really heavy duty fog!

Seven years of blogging

I began this blog seven years ago today!  I don't know that too many are reading it now, or ever have, but I don't care one bit.  I love that my memories are recorded here...my children's childhoods, at least a part of them, are preserved for posterity.  That makes me so happy!

This time of year also seems to bring out a bit of their childhoods as well.  Catherine has dug out her American Girl dolls and is enjoying them again.  I can't explain how much I enjoy seeing that, even if for a brief period of time.  Thomas is also emotional about the Santa Claus thing.  His teacher informed the class that Santa wasn't real, and Thomas was heartbroken.  We asked him about him, and he tearily answered that he was convinced Santa was alive.  My little guy is absolutely magical!

I'm terribly emotional these days, and yet at the same time feel a sense of peace.  This is such a fabulous time of year!

Not my most favorite couple of days

We are currently in the midst of what are not my most favorite couple of days.  Andrew is off to Columbus with a school trip.  I really, really don't like it when he is gone.  I'm grateful that this happens so rarely.  I'm also so grateful to be so in love with my husband after all of these years!

Yesterday was too quiet

I couldn't get over how quiet it was in this house yesterday.  I so enjoyed having everyone around over the long weekend, and even though the bickering of the younger two could drive a sane person crazy at times, I really missed it all yesterday.  I am looking so forward to Christmas break and two weeks of hanging out!