Another end of another year...wow. My initial thought was that this one had been pretty good...and overall, it has been. It's been a year in which I've been able to count my many blessings.
However, it has been the worst year of my life in terms of parenting. We have dealt with things with Robert that never in a million years did I ever think we'd have to experience. I remember telling him earlier this year that the worst day of my life was not the day my dad died, it was the day I discovered some of the stunts he had pulled...and that isn't an overstatement.
Sadly, it continued yesterday. We learned about another stunt, and this one is pretty serious. Not jail time serious, but I'll be honest, he's on that path. As we were discussing the situation with him last evening, he became so angry he punched the floor. We spent the evening in the emergency room confirming that his hand was very severely broken and that he will most likely be needing surgery. There aren't even words to discuss my feelings about the situation.
This morning, I emailed his scout leader to let her know about a change in plans, and explained he wouldn't be attending any overnight events anytime soon...and then I sat here and cried. I honestly, truly don't know what to do anymore. Sadly, this is a repeat of behavior, and I feel more lost than I ever have in my life. We aren't talking little things...he is truly affecting the trajectory of his life at this point and limiting his options. I just don't know where to go from here...I'm not even sure I know what to pray for at this point.
I told him last night that this didn't really get serious until January, and it better end right there last night in the same year. I'm not remotely optimistic about that though...we've been through too much at this point.
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