My girl is touring the high school

This afternoon Catherine, and all 8th graders, are touring the high school.  I'm so excited for her.  She is going to do great in high school, and I'm so thrilled for her.  The only downside of today is that Andrew is on a field trip with his anthropology students, so he isn't in the building to see her, and I know that she is a little disappointed.  I pointed out to her though, that she'll get to see plenty of him next year.  She is going to be in her Dad's class.  I had wanted this all along, and when she qualified for the Honors Social Studies class, we knew it was going to be either him or one other teacher.  We found out about six weeks ago that the other teacher is leaving, which is going to mean an uncertain/unknown teacher...and that sealed the deal.  I'm just so excited that they are going to get to share this next year together.

I'm going to be the mom of two high school students...how did we get here?  How did we get here so quickly?  It's just amazing.  I'm so grateful for the days we have together as a family.  They are precious!

Into the teens

As of right now (because all three kids are officially finished with school for the day) we are officially down to 19 days until school is out for the summer.  Strangely enough, the stay-at-home Mom seems to be the one the most excited about this.  That seems odd, don't you think?  I am absolutely certain that my Mom never was as excited as I am about summer coming.

I will foremost acknowledge my mom is an early morning person and I most certainly am not.  School begins very early morning (everyone in this house is up BEFORE 6AM), so the appeal of summer sleeping in is undeniable.  Of course there are those swim practices at 8AM every day for seven weeks, but that still means sleeping in an entire hour...every week day!!!!  So yes, the joy of sleep is definitely some appeal of the summer.

I also need to acknowledge that my mom and I are not living in the same parenting world.  This is going to sound like bragging, but I graduated 8th in my class and my sister was salutatorian.  That means there wasn't a lot of worrying my mom had to do about our school week.  That makes life carefree...I know because I have a very hard working student and I'm so grateful for her efforts.  Unfortunately, I have three kids and only one of those self-reliant students.  With Robert folks, honestly, we are just hoping and praying he graduates.  No, actually that is not "just" what we are doing.  We are nagging, prodding, pleading, cajoling, and sometimes even physically standing over him to get him to do his work.  I have no intention of doing this for the rest of his life and some might say I should let him learn the lesson now.  Sorry, really need this guy to graduate.  He has tools that I believe will allow him to be successful in life, but those tools do not translate into a traditional school setting.  We are cautiously optimistic that trade/skill based school next year will be a big step in the right direction for him.  We are also dealing with some personality traits that I won't publicize, but trust me when I tell you school, and the chromebooks they assign to each child, are not remotely helpful.  I also have to remind Thomas every day, over and over again, to pack his lunch.  Again, just let him forget a few times and he'll learn the hard way, right?  Not particularly.  He is a child prone to fainting, and although he has never been diagnosed with a specific blood sugar disorder, the only times we've ever had an issue is when he hasn't eaten.  To be honest, the kid is so easily distracted that sometimes he flat out forgets to eat.  And those days when it gets packed but left in the fridge? Yep...out the door I go.

The thing is, I really don't mind taking care of my kids and making sure they have what they need.  The tough part about school is the schedule, and the outside forces judging us for not doing "enough".  I get it though.  With all of the rather ridiculous requirements heaped on teachers, they NEED the parents to be actively involved.  If it is so necessary for the parents to be so involved because the teachers are judged by standards the kids can't live up to...maybe there is just something wrong with the entire system????

Regardless, nothing about the system or my kids' needs and personalities is going to change.  Nor am I suddenly going to become a morning person.  And that is why I am so very excited there are only 19 school days left in this school year!

Vacation reservations

This weekend we made vacation reservations.  To be honest, it wasn't the vacation we had originally planned, but Andrew and I are more excited about the way it's turning out.  Originally we had hoped to go to Disney this year, and that is why the last two years we had taken smaller vacations.  As the time approached though, there were several things that were causing problems.  Instead, we are returning to the Outer Banks, and we are absolutely thrilled.  It has been three years since we've been gone a week, and three years since we've gone to the ocean.  It's been five years since we've been to the Outer Banks, and for Andrew and I it is "our" spot.  It is where we took our very first vacation together when we will still just dating, and it is still our favorite vacation locale.  We've chosen a different community that we've never stayed in before and it has some community amenities that are going to be awesome for our family.  Because we are able to go so early in the summer, we are able to get a fabulous rate.  We are absolutely so excited about this trip, and the kids are definitely equally excited.  Our family needs this trip.  I need this trip for our family.  I'm grateful it give us all something to look forward to doing together.  I'm so grateful for this opportunity and this blessing!

Today is my Dad's birthday

Another year has rolled around and today is my dad's birthday.  To be honest, it has become one of my least favorite days of the year.  The fact that he isn't here to celebrate is all too obvious.  I couldn't help but think of my grandmother this morning and how tough this day must be for her.  After all, she is the one person on this earth who was there when he came into this world exactly 62 years ago today.  No one should ever bury their children.

On Saturday we were at my hometown celebrating my mother and sister's birthdays (April is a busy month).  My cousin asked if I could come by so I did, and then we stopped at DQ.  I only had Thomas & Catherine with me.  Robert had to work so Andrew stayed in town to transport.  After DQ, we stopped at the cemetery.  Strangely enough, seeing my father's name on the stone was actually less awful than it not being there.  I think maybe it was something to focus on other than the pile of dirt under which he is buried.  The stone has a fish by Dad's name and that pleased Thomas.  Catherine asked if my dad liked ice cream and when I said that he did, she and Thomas decided he might be jealous of them with their blizzards.  It made me smile.  My parents' stone is directly next to my maternal grandparents' stone, then we walked over to my paternal grandparents' stone.  Grandpa has a fish near his name as well, and Thomas hadn't realized that the tackle box he currently has belonged first to my grandfather and then to my dad.  Thomas was delighted!  Catherine asked about my Grandpa liking ice cream, and yes he did, even more so than my dad.  I can't say it was fun to be at the cemetery necessarily, but I am so grateful I got to share it with Catherine & Thomas.

For dinner this evening we are having fried chicken.  It has been a while, and it was something my dad absolutely loved.  I am grateful I'm able to do that.  I miss Dad so much, but he is still with us every day!

Missing my hubby

I'll be honest, I am missing my husband this week.  Don't get me wrong, we've actually seen each other quite a bit, but not nearly as much as we normally do.  Monday he didn't get home until 9:30 because he teaches a night class on Mondays.  Tuesday we were both at the track meet but not together, and it was almost 9:00 before he finished his responsibilities and came home.  Wednesday was a teacher recognition ceremony, and although he wasn't recognized, I still encouraged him to attend.  I thought it was important he do so, and it was about 8:30 when he got home.  Last evening was teacher development, and I was grateful he was home around 6:30.  Tonight I have to teach so it will be nearly 11:00 before I get home, and since I've volunteered to help the Boosters at 8:00 tomorrow morning I won't be staying up to much after arriving home.

Tomorrow evening though, we have nothing planned.  I can't tell you how I'm looking forward to hanging out not just with him, but with the family.  I really can't explain how much I treasure that time.  Sometimes I think it is too much, and maybe somehow I'm not being fair to the kids, but I really do love our time together.

I'm grateful for looking forward to tomorrow, and I'm grateful for this life my husband and I share...there just aren't enough words!

The head vs. the heart

I love these moments of my day when I am sitting in such peaceful serenity.  It is unbelievably quiet here and the only thing I can hear are the birds chirping (except for the occasional thud of furniture from the cats jumping when they realize a bird is right outside the window).  Since we've moved here, I've taken a great deal of comfort in feeling that this is exactly where we are supposed to be.  Our kids are in fabulous schools with many opportunities, my husband now has only a ten minute commute, we have support and resources available with Robert we most likely would not have had, and the natural beauty of living in this house is just amazing.  Yet, last evening I laid in bed and couldn't stop crying.  Our high school hosted our annual track invitational last evening.  Andrew ran the concession stand and I was in charge of the booster bake sale.  Our former school was there.  I can't tell you how much fun it was to see kids we hadn't seen in years, and I couldn't believe how some of them had grown.  Andrew and I were both able to chat with several of the kids, and I'm still at that point that where I know more of them than I do in our own town.  My head knows with certainty that this is where my family is supposed to be in our lives right now.  And yet, my heart was still wishing it could've worked out differently.

So peaceful

I just absolutely love this picture.  It was included on a CD that my aunt gave me this weekend of pictures from when she and my dad were kids.  I find the setting so serene and tranquil, and the fact that it shows my dad on the water is just icing on the cake.  This picture must be about 50 years old, but is truly timeless.

This is going to be one of our busier days in this pretty busy week.  Lately I've been going back to sleep after everyone leaves for school, but I was expecting someone to drop by between 7 & 8 this morning so I was up and 'em early.  One of the many blessings of our home is that the neighborhood is so very quiet.  The mornings are especially so.  I have spent the last hour+ just listening to the birds chirp and the squirrels scurry.  I can't think of many other more peaceful ways to begin the day!

Another new day

I am so grateful for sleep and the opportunity for a fresh start with each new day.  I've certainly had many worse days than yesterday, and I'm not sure I understand why I was so emotional about it all.  I'm sure the news about my father's headstone didn't exactly help the situation, and part of me is just trying not to even think about that.  Today though, is a new day, and it is a bright, warm, sunny Friday.  It's going to be a great day!

The highs and the lows

Yesterday I was on fire...walking on air!  I mean, I was so pleased with myself...and felt good about life.  I know it kind of sounds like I'm boasting or bragging, but I was so thrilled with how things had worked out.  We had a work issue pop up, and I talked to a couple of people and everything seemed to be fine and everyone seemed happy.  We had a couple of issues pop up with the kids that weren't overly serious, but definitely weren't minor either, and I handed that and worked through it.  In fact, I actually had a couple of people tell me how impressed they were with how I had handled things.  It was a good day, and I felt good about my abilities as a human being.

Then today happened.  I should have known it was going to be a long day with the way our morning started.  Catherine had an absolute melt down this morning.  At one point she was actually storming through the house yelling at Andrew and I, "Screw both of you!"  Yep those words were actually coming out of my sweet daughter's mouth...all by 6:30 this morning.  Later I received an email from the church and the woman who is technically my boss letting me know that my problem solving of yesterday was not okay, and that we were going back to the system that had been in place before I arrived.  The problem with this for me is that it wasn't being done correctly...and I'm not comfortable with that.  As a church member, I expect that the office staff will handle my money appropriately and correctly, and I would suspect I am not the only one.  I sent an email asking if we could sit down and talk about this instead of trying to work it out in an email, and the response I received this evening was that the old system worked for years.  Nope, I'm not okay with volunteers counting the money incorrectly.  There is no more basic task than that and there is no gray area...it is either right or wrong, and wrong is unacceptable.  I've explained to Andrew that I'm not a "good enough" type of accountant, and if that is all they are looking for it will have to be someone else.  He supports me, and hated seeing my cry earlier, but we both know that the money, such as it is, is very much appreciated in our monthly budget.

In addition, we caught Thomas in some lies and there were a few other complications with him, and I'm beginning to seriously wonder if he has some ADD.  I don't want to be looking at excuses for him, and yet I don't want to be overlooking and downplaying an issue if there is something we can do to make it better.  I honestly feel lost when it comes to this and just don't really know where to go with it.  Catherine had another meltdown this evening.  The attitude is just over the top, and I don't really know what to do about her either.  Parenting is without a doubt, the most challenging, and emotionally charged job out there.

I told Andrew this analogy earlier this evening...If I compare my days to baseball, yesterday was the day where I hit the walk-off grand slam.  Today is the day where I'm out in the outfield looking up at the ball that I realize I'm about to misplay when a bird poops on my face.  Yep, that is today.  I'm trying to remember just to be grateful that I still get to play the game each day.

Reality etched in stone

I just called my mom to tell her something and thought she sounded odd.  After I was finished with my thing, she mentioned she had just gotten a phone call.  Given her tone, I braced myself for bad news.  As it turns out, it was not at all bad news, but I do understand my mother's emotional response.  The headstone for my father's grave has been installed.  I know it's been almost 2-1/2 years (in fact exactly 29 months ago today) since he passed, but it was winter and mom had planned to wait until the following spring.  Then of course she became ill, and pretty much lost all of that spring, summer, and early fall...and then it was winter again.  Finally last year she began to make plans, but it turns out it wasn't quite that simple.  My parents are being buried on plots that are actually owned by my grandmother.  There are eight plots altogether, with the original thought 29 years ago being my grandparents, their three children and spouses.  However, my uncle has since divorced and remarried, and his second wife has zero interest in being buried in my hometown.  Completely understandable since she has never spent one second living there.  It also turns out they wanted to be cremated so they don't need the plots.  My grandmother was not to be deterred from having her opinion however, and the "compromise" was reached that their names and dates would be on the other side of my parents' stone even though they aren't actually going to be there.  My grandmother agreed to pay for everything and it was clearly cheapest to have the stone removed from the site (matching stones were originally set when my grandfather passed away) and returned only one time instead of twice.  My uncle has some issues in dealing with his own mortality so in spite of my mother explaining how important it was that this be taken care of so it was no longer something hanging over her head, he couldn't quite bring himself to deal with what he and my aunt were going to have on their side of the stone.  At this point I think we can all agree that family can be both a blessing and a curse! :)

Anyway, the stone is now in place, and I'm not sure how I feel about that.  I haven't been to the cemetery in nearly a year, or perhaps even longer.  It's not where I feel my dad's presence.  In some ways, I don't even want to think about it, and I completely understand why my mom sounded emotional.  Oh goodness...I miss him so much.

Sunshine...finally!

Our April weather has pretty much stunk it up.  March was a really nice month, mostly at least, in terms of the weather, but April has been COLD, and yesterday it rained so much I think we all thought we were going to float away.  Today though, the temps are below average still, but it is sunny...not a cloud in the sky!  I took the opportunity to take a walk around the block, and honestly I can't remember the last time I did that.  I'll be honest, it felt good to get out and soak up the sunshine, and it felt good to work off some stress.  I think we are actually going to see the sun quite a bit this week, and it's even going to get a little warmer.  Catherine has a track meet this evening, and I'm grateful for the sun!

Finally some healing

I am happy to report that things went well yesterday with Robert's follow up appointment for his hand.  The doctor is finally seeing some healing and is pleased.  He was quick to point out however, that this is not yet a complete success story and this can still be messed up, so Robert is to continue to be careful.  That being said, I actually encouraged the doctor to cast the hand rather than juts go back to the brace.  Ultimately the doctor did agree that was probably the best thing to do, and we go back in three weeks to have that removed.  In doing so, Robert has been given the use of two additional fingers, and has also been released to go back to work.  Finally some things are moving in the right direction with his hand!

The end of another week

We are down to 33 days of school remaining this year.  I know, I am certain, that I shouldn't wish away the next 6-1/2 weeks, but our summers are just so fabulously relaxing...and so much less stressful.  It's not just the schedule of school, it is other, some little, some big, things that make it challenging.  Catherine does well, but there is just so much meanness and drama with middle school girls.  For Robert and Thomas the challenges are school specific, and they can truly make me feel like a parent fail.  I know that it isn't my job to "do" school for them, but it is my job to guide them and help them to be successful...and I just don't know how to do that very well it seems.  At least it feels that way.

But right now we are at the weekend!  Andrew has taken Thomas to the Reds game for the evening.  I admire their fortitude as the wind chill is currently 31 degrees.  It even rained earlier, and you know that had to be a bone-cold rain.  Fortunately it didn't last terribly long, and I'm grateful they took this in together.  Thomas absolutely loves Joey Votto, and I'm glad that he's able to see the game in person.  Catherine was supposed to have a track meet this evening, but it was cancelled due to the weather.  Robert is volunteering three days a week at the community resource center, and this is one of those days.  The older two and I have spent the evening mostly just hanging out around the house and I've appreciated the down time.

Tomorrow I have to attend a baby shower and some friends are coming over for the evening.  Sunday morning is a youth activity at church, and then we were just invited over to my cousin's house in the evening for a quick surprise gathering for my uncle's 70th birthday.  I'm grateful that our weekend isn't overly packed, because we have reached that point of the school year where the weeks are unbelievably full.  We wouldn't know to appreciate the down time though, if it was like that all the time!

Reds win on Opening Day!

I know this season isn't going to be the best in Reds' history.  At this point, I'm just hopeful that the experts aren't right and this isn't going to be the worst ever either.  I had kids going this way and that way, and Monday is Andrew's night class so I was soloing.  I was able to catch most of the game on the radio while I was away and on TV while I was home, but to be honest, I wasn't totally paying attention.  Dinner happened to coincide with the eighth inning though, and that is when things became fun.  The Reds scored five runs in the bottom of the inning and came away with a 6-2 victory over Philly.  I know there are 161 games to go and most of the teams we will see are far better than the lowly Phillies, but for today at least, we are in first place...and a full game in front of the Cardinals!

Spring break is over

I have to be honest, none of us were particularly thrilled that the break is over.  Only 38 more school days though...and in 51 calendar days we will be done for the summer.  Even Thomas said he doesn't want to wish away his life, but I think we all feel not just worn down, but in some ways beaten down by this school year.  I truly want to treasure and enjoy these days with my kids, and I'm grateful that for the most part, that is how we spent this past weekend.

Robert has done well handling things from his hand surgery.  Hopefully that continues into today and that he makes good choices (my fervent prayer EVERY DAY).  Friday Andrew took Catherine and Thomas to a movie, and Robert stayed at home just resting (but with full control of the TV remote).  That evening we played a game that Andrew had received for Christmas, and we enjoyed that.  Saturday Catherine had her first track meet of the season, and I went to watch her run.  It was absolutely BRUTAL.  The temps were in the low 40's and the wind was in the 40mph range as well.  I felt so badly for how cold she was out there standing in her lane.  She ran well for the first 130 meters of her 200, but then she pretty much coasted/jogged the rest of the way.  Regardless, she had a blast and I'm grateful for that.  The winds picked up even greater strength later in the day, and Andrew decided it would be a great evening for a fire.  It was so cozy in our living room, and it was made even cozier by having all of the family together to watch a movie.  The kids had purchased a DVD for me for Christmas and after watching it a few weeks ago, we really though the kids would like it...and they did.  I absolutely love watching my kids laugh and it fills my heart more than I can even explain.  After it was over we watched a few episodes of Friends, and then we all had a really good night sleep.

Andrew had spent Saturday while I was at the track meet working on his lesson plans, and since Robert is not allowed to return to work for a few weeks, we had the afternoon open.  We decided to head into Cincinnati and visit the Museum Center because they had the "Art of Brick" exhibit.  Thomas had visited with his Godfather over Christmas break, but the rest of us wanted to see it as well.  We decided to purchase a membership to the museum, and we are excited about the opportunities that we'll have over the next year...not just at this but at the many others for which there are reciprocity agreements.

It was really a truly fabulous way to end our break.  I'm so grateful for the good days that we get to experience as a family, and I'm so grateful for the three kiddos that help to make us a family.  I hold onto and treasure the really good days!

Last weekend's Easter

I didn't mean to take so long to write about Easter last weekend, but it is what it is.  We had decided that we would drive separately to my in-laws so that Andrew would have the freedom to stay longer without worrying about getting back for the kids' commitments, or my level of irritation that tends to set in after 48 hours of being there.  My in-laws are truly wonderful people, but we just function very differently.  Anyway, Andrew left the afternoon of Good Friday, and I stayed home and picked up the house.  I truly appreciated the quiet and alone time, and I know everyone there enjoyed the extra time together.  I got to sleep in Saturday and then headed over.  We had church first thing on Sunday morning, then had breakfast out.  We had a very nice afternoon, and all worked together to make the meal.  Andrew's brother was over to visit for just a couple of hours, and that is plenty.  Easter day was an absolutely gorgeous weather day, and in fact the only really great one we've had in a few weeks.  Monday after breakfast I hit the road with Robert and Catherine, and Thomas remained behind with Andrew to continue to help with things there.  Driving that far myself tends to make me nervous, but we had a fairly uneventful trip home.  The three of us sat and relaxed Monday evening, and we all just really enjoyed that.  All in all, it was a very nice holiday.

The end of this year's break

There is part of me that just can't help but wish it was a week ago and that we had this entire week off ahead of us.  Reality is not the case though, and time, as always, marches on.

Robert's hand surgery yesterday went very well.  There were none of the unfortunate complications that occurred with the first surgery.  This time, they were aware of how Robert reacted the first time and things went much better this time.  The doctor is pleased with how it went, but is stressing the importance of taking it easy.  He is really convinced that Robert had some part in the fact that it didn't heal the first time and wants to make sure it all goes according to plan this time.

In other somewhat stressful news, Andrew's brother is in the hospital with pneumonia, and is currently somewhat delusional.  I feel very badly for his parents who are watching their child suffer, and I pray for all involved.

Thomas was able to have his best friend spend the night earlier in the week.  Those two always do their best to fill the world with laughter, and it is just a wonderful sound.

Today is an absolutely gorgeous day, and I am looking forward to spending the day with my family!  I'm grateful for a completely unscheduled day.