I just don't understand kids today

I sure sound old when I write that, don't I?  I just truly don't understand kids today though.  The Ag class that I'm in has very challenging afternoon classes.  We made it through the first group pretty fine.  The second group is the one that has always been challenging and can do a real number on my nerves.  Today, I actually had a student take a phone call in the middle of class.  Now I recognize that we might be the ONLY family that doesn't allow our children to take phones to school.  There have been some times it would've been nice, but about 99% of the time it isn't necessary and my children don't need one more distraction.  If the child had come to me and said I received a text and need to make an emergency phone call, I would've certainly accommodated the need.  However, when I told the child to step into the hallway, he began to argue with me and continued to argue even after hanging up.  I finally just sent him to the principal.  I just don't understand these children who feel they are so entitled to do whatever they want, and then actually have the nerve and audacity to disagree with me when I tell them it's not okay.  It is actually astounding to me in fact.  I would never have thought to speak to an adult the way many kids speak to me every day.  I recognize that it is late in the day on a Friday, and we are late in the school year so no one is on their best behavior at this point.  At the same time, if I ever find out my children behaved the way some of these kids do, I would absolutely come unglued.  I don't want to be judgmental about other parents because I absolutely understand the difficulty in raising teens.  However, I also know kindness and respect has to be modeled and taught at home before the teachers at school can do anything at all!

Music from my college days

It was my freshman year of college when I really started listening to country music.  I had really disliked pop music for a while by then, and I loved being able to sing along to country music.  The guy I dated my senior year of high school had listened to country, and then my college best friend always listened to it.  I purchased albums and became a country music fan.  It's pretty much all I've listened to since then, and to be honest, I've never heard of most of the people my kids listen to.  Robert enjoys some country music, but Catherine does not.  Thomas is still undecided.

I've been finding myself yearning to listen to country music from the 90's again.  I've been wondering...do I really like the music that much better, or is it just that it reminds me of a simpler time in life?  I didn't necessarily enjoy my time away at college, but generally speaking, I enjoyed my college years.  It really brings back great memories, and to be honest, when the songs come on, I can picture myself in those dorm rooms again, on spring days with the windows open and the curtains blowing.  This morning, I'm subbing in Ag, and the morning classes are upperclassmen and things are rather unstructured (especially due to today's activity).  I love the kids, and one of them put on 90's country.  He was appalled that other students weren't singing along, and it took everything I had NOT to join in...not professional. :)  I enjoy thinking about that time in my life, although to be honest, I can't believe how long ago it was!  I pointed out to the kids that I remember when the songs they were listening to were considered new!

The end of break week #1

With Robert attending the career school, there are different spring break schedules.  I was still able to "sleep in", although four of the mornings still had a "5" as the first digit on the clock, and today was almost as early since I'm working today.

Overall we've enjoyed the week, although it's still been busy.  We took our family trip to downtown Cinci last Sunday.  Our family absolutely loves that restaurant, and it ended up being a nice enough day to enjoy the river view.  I love visiting that place with our family, and I love celebrating our family whenever we can make it happen.

The boys have still had track practice and Robert had another meet last evening.  Apparently he did well.  Thomas was supposed to have his first meet but it was postponed due to forecasted weather (that ended up not happening).  We ended up having a really neat evening together as a family, and I'm always grateful for that.

Today I'm back at work, although Andrew took the day to be with Robert at the doctor.  I didn't want to give up one of the few days I'm scheduled, especially since this is one of the jobs that pays a little bit more.  Our family has no plans this evening after track practice, and generally speaking we don't have much going on this weekend.  After today, only nine more days of school until break week #2!

Home with two of the kiddos

Today two of the kids are home.  Robert doesn't have school this week because of spring break, and Catherine is home because of state testing.  Andrew still had to go to work to proctor, and Thomas is at school because the middle school isn't affected by this week's testing schedule.  For the most part, we are relaxing and enjoying the day, and I might even allow myself to close my eyes for a nap.  My mom drove down earlier this morning to help me pick out a paint color for our dining room wall, and Robert made everyone pancakes to eat.  It was a nice little visit.  Thomas will be home in about 75 minutes and then both boys need to go to the high school for practice.  I'm enjoying the sunshine today, although it doesn't sound as though it is going to last past today!

I haven't been banned

Yesterday morning I was scheduled to work only in the morning at an elementary.  I was very grateful I had been able to pick the job up eleven days earlier when it was posted.  It was also the last posting I had seen for our school district.  It had been eleven days.  Honestly, I was beginning to think I had been banned from the school.   I couldn't imagine I had done anything, but it isn't impossible someone thought I did something.  I was also concerned that someone had inadvertently banned me.  Andrew decided we needed to see what was going on and he went to the building secretary to find out.  It turns out everything is fine...there just haven't been many teacher absences lately.  Some jobs have started showing up again, but of course they are jobs I can't take.  My priority is still being "mom" and kids' have their schedules.  I'm not sure how much I'm going to work the rest of the year, but we'll get through...and I'm ready for summer!

The smell of cut grass

Yesterday I was out running some errands.  To be honest, it's kind of what I do these days...spend my days in the car again!  Anyway, it was a rather overcast day, but the temp was in the upper 60's.  Because Robert is on spring break this week, I have to not only pick him up from track practice, but get him there as well.  I went to the office, and then I began my errands.  As I was at the post office, I noticed the smell of cut grass.  As the days of March wind down, it smells like spring is right around the corner.  In fact, only six days until Opening Day!

A great beginning to track season

Yesterday was the first high school track meet of the season.  I'll be honest, I was really looking forward to it.  Robert didn't do track last year for a variety of reasons, and I was looking forward to him getting back out there.  It was also an absolutely gorgeous day.  In fact, I overdressed for the temperature.  On the upside, it kept my sunburn (and yes, there was some) to a minimal since I had things so well covered, but it was warm.

Robert's coach had been touting his 800m relay team (we called it 4x200m back in the day).  When I saw who he was running with, I was impressed.  There are some pretty quick boys, and I thought maybe they had a shot.  They ended up running in the JV heat though, so I didn't give it much thought as to how good it might be able to be.  It turns out, the team that finished in front of them in their heat was DQ'd, and Robert's group finished fourth overall.  Impressive!  He also debuted as a 300m hurdler yesterday.  Again, I thought he looked pretty good, and finished third in his heat and 6th overall out of 21 runners.  In spite of how gorgeous the weather was, I decided after 4 hours that I was done watching and headed home with Catherine (who I forced to attend with me) since we were having company last evening.  Robert was running the very last event, and I just couldn't handle the thought of staying (what would have turned out to be) another two hours.  It turns out their relay came in 6th overall as well.  It was a great way to begin the season!

So much drama

I remember feeling the same way at this time last year...so much drama involving the kids.  I'll be honest, I don't remember this much drama from my own childhood.  I think part of it involves my reaction to things as a child.  I was never one who enjoyed drama, and I suspect I did my best to avoid it.  I tried to surround myself with people who felt the same, and I also think as a generation we just had more emotional fortitude to deal with such things.

Now however, we are living in a society where children are never supposed to feel any hurt or disappointment and are growing up practically living in an emotional bubble.  Because of this, the drama that ensues in the teen years is revved up a bit.  Everything is so over the top in terms of feelings, actions, and reactions because the teens have never dealt with sadness.  It is somewhat astounding, and I see it through teenagers everywhere.

When my kids hurt, I hurt.  Whether it is physically hurt, emotionally, mental...whatever kind of hurt.  As their mom, my heart hurts for my kids when they are hurting.  I understand I have to allow them to hurt, especially when the hurt comes from poor choices they've made.  That is how they learn coping skills.  At the same time, it stinks, and especially so when the hurt is mostly due to the poor choices of others.

There also seems to be something about this time of year.  It seems as though kids just can't be nice to each other at this point.  I don't know what it is, but I notice a similar pattern each year, and frankly I'm getting a little tired of it.  I really don't understand why children have to be so nasty to each other, although I suspect most are just modeling either what they see at home, or how the parents allow them to behave by not exerting parental authority and requiring respect.  I hate to wish away life, but frankly I look forward to the end of the school year when my children no longer have contact with some of these nasty people.  After today, only 32 days of school left for Robert, and 37 for Catherine and Thomas!  That feels good right about now!

I have an amazing husband

I am so blessed to share my life with my amazing husband.  Last evening we were talking and he told me he sensed I am feeling guilty about my work schedule.  Of course I am!  In spite of my best efforts, I am only scheduled 1/2 day this week, after not working at all last week, and only one day the week before that.  Ugh!  It's a little hard to grasp how very little I'm working after writing such a large check to pay for Andrew's new car.  Andrew immediately informed me that he does not want me feeling guilty about being home.  He is very grateful that I still want to be home.  He even feels a SAHM is undervalued by society.  I think that might be overstating things a bit, but I am so grateful for his support.  I am also choosing to have faith.  We are by no means going broke, I just don't like the continual drop in our savings balance.  I am so grateful though that they money has been there, and I'm grateful beyond words for the support of my husband.  Our life together is such a blessing!

A Tuesday in March

I am beginning to wonder if I am ever going to have a good amount of work at school again.  I recognize that each year I've been a sub there seems to have been a lull.  However, March has never been the time that lull has occurred.  I've only worked four days this month...only four!  This week I'm scheduled for Thursday afternoon only.  I'm really hoping that something pops up for Wednesday and Friday.  Next week I'm only working Monday morning and then Friday, and I won't work more than that because Robert is on break and I have scheduled several appointments.  Hopefully things work out and some things open up, and I've even added the neighboring district to my listings.  I don't really want to go there, but I need to have options.

Today Robert is taking the ACT.  State laws have changed and each high school is now required to test all juniors once.  Today is his day and he gets out then at lunch.  I'll also spend the afternoon at my church job, and then I am looking forward to all of us being home this evening.

Tomorrow is going to get really cold again.  This has been some really strange weather for February and March.  Track season begins on Saturday for Robert and it looks as though it is going to be really wet.  Gotta love spring in the midwest!

A wet beginning to spring

Today is an absolutely miserably wet day.  It started storming about 7:00 this morning and stormed for over an hour, and it is supposed to rain pretty much all day.  Today is the official beginning of spring, and it sure is a wet day.

Catherine and Thomas do not have school today, although Andrew has a teacher day and then teaches a class this evening.  Robert also has school today so the two little ones and I are just hanging out.  It's pretty hard to get motivated with the weather, but hopefully I'll find a way to get something done!

Our basketball weekend

I wasn't overly in love with this basketball weekend.  I loved the time with my family, but while the games were mostly pretty good games, there isn't really a Cinderella team to root for.  I'm thrilled that Wisconsin knocked off Villanova, but it's not like Wisconsin is really a Cinderella team!  Even in the games where I was rooting for the higher seed (Duke), the game didn't go the way I wanted.  I enjoyed so much time together as a family though, and I enjoy watching the kids watch the games!

A little disappointed

Tonight was the banquet & awards for the high school swim team.  Thomas hasn't been feeling well, so I stayed home with him.  I can't say I was terribly disappointed as I'm not a fan of banquets.  However, I really thought I was going to miss Robert winning most improved.  After all, he had never swam before (other than summer rec), and in the league meet he cut 20 seconds off of one PR to finish 5th, and in another race he swam his a** off to finish 3rd.  I also know he had worked really hard at practices, and even told the coach at the beginning of the season that he really wanted to coach to challenge him.  I really thought he deserved it, and I couldn't imagine someone was more deserving.  He didn't win it though, and Andrew said that the person who won, when the accomplishments were listed sounded just as equally deserving.  I also know that the swim coach is aware of some of the poor choices that Robert has made over the years and while that shouldn't matter, perhaps it is karma.  Robert has definitely been less than the model student or teammate over the last two years.  I'm grateful he hadn't really thought about it, but I was disappointed.

Making their picks

We have arrived at one of my favorite weekends of the year!  I just love the 32 games in 36 hours, and then another 16 games on Saturday & Sunday.  We just love these games.  So far we've enjoyed the Notre Dame games, but we are looking forward to some upsets!  I'm especially hoping that Bucknell can find a way to pick off West Virginia and East Tenn St can take out Florida.

The kids picked their teams last night.  The bracket I had printed out didn't have records on them, so Robert actually got on-line and researched.  Catherine was marginally indifferent, but she filled out her bracket based entirely on seeding.  In other words, she has no upsets at all, and has all #1 seeds going through to the Final Four.  Thomas took the "Thomas approach", and I always love his optimistic heart.  His final game has Notre Dame taking on Dayton, and he just couldn't pick a winner between his two favorites (as an aside, I don't think he is going to have to).  With the exception of the games involving those two teams, he decided to put on the lines (which were rather short) the teams that could easily be abbreviated and would therefore fit on the line.  He always makes me smile!

We bought a car

Schedules fell into place beautifully on Saturday, and we were able to go car shopping.  We had decided to head north to go to my hometown.  We'd always had great success purchasing vehicles there, and this was no exception.  We received a fair deal, and we are pleased with the purchase.  Since we were right there we went and showed the car to my grandmother.  It was the next best thing to being able to show my dad.  It was nice to be able to visit as it had been about six weeks since we had seen her.

After leaving there, we decided to head to dinner.  We had packed lunches knowing we'd be gone, but it was time for dinner and we were all hungry.  Thomas was with friends, so it gave us the opportunity to eat somewhere our picky little guy might not like!  It proved challenging as many places were packed with an hour wait even at 5:00, but we finally found a place and we were all happy.  It was Chinese food (which Thomas hates) and we enjoyed our meal tremendously.

When we got home, we decided to share a movie with the older two.  They were less than thrilled, but we made them turn off the phones and required to actually spend quality time with us.  They enjoyed the movie (which they admit begrudgingly) and we enjoyed our day and evening together.

I was very grateful to have the car situation handled.  Andrew and I both felt we were on borrowed time until the car just stopped running, and then we had to fix something in order just to have a trade-in.  Andrew was honest with the dealership about the work it needed and they gave us a fair value.  It was just really nice to have that off our plate.

Writing the check for payment though, made the anxiety about my work status kind of cranked up.  Last week, I only subbed one day.  This week, I'm not scheduled at all, and next week I'm only scheduled 1/2 day.  This is not going to cut it!  I also know though, that we are very blessed, and that things will work themselves out!

Too little, too early

I realize that is not quite the old adage of "too little, too late", but I am referring to the snow.  It had been forecasted that we were to get 2-5" of snow overnight last night, which is certainly enough to get the day off.  Then of course, things began to change and it was down to 1-3" of snow overnight...still enough if it hits at the right time.  Alas, most of the snow (no more than an inch) fell after school yesterday before bedtime.  Clearly not enough to do anything at all to help with keeping us from school today, even for a delay.  That was probably our last shot of anything...so into spring we go!

Another Monday in March

Here we are at another Monday in March.  This month is proving to be such an emotionally challenging month, and it's definitely not going to be one of my favorites.  Everyone is physically okay, and for that I try very hard to count my blessings.  However, there is just a lot of other stress, and I'm trying so hard to focus on the good things.

The kids are all physically okay, but they are teenagers.  They themselves are emotional, and nothing seems simple.  I know that everything the feel, on a scale of 1 to 10, always seems to them to be either a "1" or a "10".  Everything is THAT big of a deal, and sometimes that is challenging to live with.

They are calling for snow this evening, and further north it could actually create some travel problems.  Many are hoping for at least a delay tomorrow, but I am pretty convinced we are all going to be in right on time.

Looking forward to basketball craziness this week!

Peace of blessings

My family is an amazing blessing.  My kids are, well, amazing doesn't even seem to cover it.  My heart is more full than I ever imagined possible.

We had a family conversation last evening that involved some of life's frustrations.  Because so much of it involves them, I was worried about it.  But they reacted so maturely and calmly to everything, and I'm so grateful for them.  There was more upset today, but I"m handling it.

Please know that the kids are all okay.  I am grateful for the sense of faith and peace that is filling my heart today in spite of the emails I am being sent from a problematic source.  I am so grateful that God chose me to be the mother to these kids, and I just can't even put into words how much comfort my family brings me.  I pray for everyone for whom family is not able to be a source of peace and comfort.

Life is crazy, but so full of blessings!

It's been frustrating

I'm not going to lie, the last week has been frustrating.  I keep trying to remind myself that they are small things and that life has so many blessings, and that is true.  At the same time, I can feel my anxiety kicking in as well.

The biggest frustration has been the germs in this house.  I ended up not feeling well at all Sunday afternoon through Tuesday morning.  It wasn't such that I couldn't function, but I almost wish it had been so I'd had an excuse to not do so.

I've also not worked at all this week, and that starts to terrify me.  I'm scheduled tomorrow and we aren't going broke, but working just one day a week is not going to cut it.  Hopefully something will come up for Friday.  I try to remind myself that I didn't really feel well anyway, but I just can't help but feel that I'm not going to work as much as I had hoped.

It would be nice if I could get everything squared away with my church job since I'm not working at school, but the computer isn't working at the office.  I'm not exactly sure what happened or where things stand with that, nor am I certain how my data will be affected.  This could be interesting.  I know the financial information will all be safe, but I'm not sure about my supporting schedules and spreadsheets.

Robert needs to see a cardiologist.  According to our family doctor, he has a rather minor, very treatable issue with his blood pressure.  I've been working on this for a month, and seem to continue to strike out.  None of the local cardiologists will treat him because he is under 18...even though it is just a few months.  This is going to mean a trip downtown to a big city, and I never like that.

There are a few other things that are happening that I will allow to remain private, and again, none of them are anything major.  But when everything is added up, along with the world of politics, it all just seems to be a bit much for me right now!

It's Monday

It was a short weekend and flew by.  My Saturday found me driving all around as we awoke to snow accumulations and I didn't want Robert driving to his girlfriend's house, so I added two trips (there and back) to my day among other things.  Yesterday was the ND breakfast with my sister and Andrew was gone the entire weekend with model UN.  Catherine had nothing going on, but the rest of us seemed to be everywhere.  I managed to have a touch of the stomach bug last night while still battling my cold.  Fortunately, I am off work today and I allowed myself to just sleep this morning.  My cold seems to be better and my stomach is calmer as well.  Hopefully this house is on the mend!

I am clearly not 100%

I am subbing at the middle school today.  I've always said I want nothing to do with being at the middle school, and generally speaking that is true.  I told Thomas though, that if there was ever a chance to sub for him I would take it.  That isn't the case here though either.  However, when I took the job I only had one other job scheduled this week and I didn't want to take a chance that nothing else would come up (ironic as this is the fourth day I've subbed this week).  It's also in business, which I thought sounded like fun.

I'm not sure fun is the right word, but I'm getting through.  I've been asked to cover in special ed during the free period, which sure doesn't make me happy.  It is what it is though, and I just need to get through the day.

My little guy just helped to make my day a little brighter though.  He came in to see me right before this class started...just to say hello.  Oh my goodness, it makes my heart full, and it also fills my eyes with tears.  Crying over this is exactly how I know I am no where near feeling 100% well!  The good news is that our evening should be laid back, and although Andrew will be gone all day tomorrow there isn't much on my calendar!

Not our healthiest week

Catherine went back to school yesterday.  I was a little concerned about her, but she had bounced back pretty well by mid-day.  Yesterday I was working a split job at the high school.  It actually was a pretty easy day as I had three plan periods between the two assignments, but I spent two of those periods in the band room working on things there.  At one point while I was schlepping all of my things through the hallways, I realized my nose was really runny, and it usually isn't like that.  I noticed it again after lunch and sure enough, by last evening I can tell I have a full-blown cold.  The lady I had subbed for on Wednesday mentioned she had one and apparently I picked it up from her.  I don't feel awful by any means, but since it is hitting at the end of this REALLY long week, I'm feeling absolutely drained.

After school I was able to get some things at home done that I needed to have for last night's band concert, and even close my eyes for about 20 minutes...bonus!  As I was running around picking up Thomas and Robert from track practice (and running errands for band) Andrew called to let me know he wasn't going to his meeting and was heading home.  Apparently he had manged to pick up Catherine's stomach bug.  The good news is that his is significantly less violent than she had and he hasn't felt as badly as she did.  He did stay home from school again today though, and I think that is a very good idea as he has two solid days of an extra-curricular activity that he advises at school being held this weekend.

Ironically, because he is off today, it means I've actually worked more than he did this week!  I'm not sure when we are going to have some downtime next, but I look forward to it happening again eventually!  I'm also keeping my fingers crossed that this is the end of the germs!

It's been a long, and out-of-the-ordinary, week

It is only Wednesday...but it has been a crazy week.  Monday was unbelievably long.  I left for work at 6:30 to be in a freshman English room.  There was a student teacher, so there was even less for me to do than normal.  It was a good day though, and no problems.  I had to get Thomas after school from his track practice, than we drove across town to get Robert from his track practice.  Robert took a quick shower when he got home because he was working that evening.  I had to be back at the school for a volunteer commitment that lasted until after 9:00.  I was exhausted when I arrived home, especially since I hadn't slept much thanks to the lack of fan/white noise the night before!  I arrived home just in time for Catherine to begin vomiting all night.  Another night with not as much sleep as I would like!  I stayed home with her yesterday, although I did have to get Thomas to a doctor appointment, Robert to a doctor appointment, and get payroll finalized at my church job.  Last evening she began running a fever.  I was scheduled to work today, and circumstances made it make more sense for Andrew to be home with her today instead of me (especially since I don't get paid if I'm not in).  That's what we decided, and Andrew came in this morning to get his sub plans handled.  Massive storms began hitting overnight, and as I was driving to work this morning with Thomas along, the storms became worse.  Hail started falling and the wind was unreal.  As we got to school we received a robo call that they had pulled all the buses off the routes and were seeking shelter at schools.  It meant even Robert was at the high school today for a bit!  Things finally began to resume some normalcy with that, but many students missed most of first period.  And here I am, still with the crazy (and rough) Ag periods to go today, and it's only Wednesday!!!