It's given me pause

For as long as I can remember, Robert has wanted to join the Navy.  It makes me very proud of him, and I've always felt it was a really good decision for him.  Many have asked me over the years if I had ever tried to talk him out of it because of the danger, and I definitely have not.  I was always filled with peace about his decision and it was one of the few things I didn't worry about.

The last couple of weeks though, have given me pause.  I would never try to talk him out of this decision, and while I still support him 100% and think it is the best decision for him, the worrying has begun.  The threats with the situation with North Korea certainly are real, and I can't imagine it will be resolved before he enlists.  There was also a army ranger from our local area who was killed this week while on deployment.  That hits close to home.  That could be my son someday, and I just can't imagine.  I know that he won't waiver in his decision, and I don't want him to...I think it is the right decision for him.  But I am suddenly realizing how very close we are coming to the time when this is our reality!

I kind of feel like we earned this Friday

The first week after break is always one of the toughest I feel, especially when it is spring break.  Spring break always comes when we are tired from the year, and we are so close and yet not quite there, but the week before had been so nice and usually relaxing.

This week was not laid-back and relaxing.  I'm grateful to report that so far (we still have to get through today) the week has been nothing more than our generally busy schedule...and busy it was!  I'm going to do a re-cap.  Not that any of the readers are concerned, but someday I'm sure I'll look back and miss this (even though I find that very difficult to believe)!

Monday had me working all day at the middle school, then I ran to church for that job.  I picked Robert up from track practice, and was very grateful for the leftover pizza from the night before (go ahead and judge) that could be used for dinner.  Andrew had to work at his night class, and it was nearly 9:00 before he was home that evening.

Tuesday was another full day of working, and this was at the Ag class that gives me so much trouble.  It is always a mentally draining day.  That evening Robert had a track meet.  Andrew volunteered in the concession stand, and Thomas helped out in there as well.  Catherine and I arrived around 4:30, and it was nearly 8:30 when she, Thomas, and I made our way home.  Robert and Andrew arrived home another hour later.  I needed to get on the computer and complete some band paperwork that needed to be handled this week so papers could go home with kids.

Wednesday I only worked 1/2 day at school...in Kindergarten.  I LOVE the little ones, but they absolutely keep you on your toes...literally.  There is no sitting at the desk catching up on reading or anything relaxing.  After that half day I went to the church.  I then had to run an errand for the band, then do more of my church job.  I made it home in time to get Thomas to the high school for his track meet, then ran another errand for the band.  Catherine and I ventured to Thomas's track meet, where Andrew was working tickets.  I'm happy to report it was not a terribly long day for any of us.

Yesterday was another full day of working at the high school.  After school Andrew had to attend a work out session for the middle school football, and then attend a professional meeting.  I picked the boys up from track practice, then we had to run an errand because we were responsible for snacks for Thomas's youth group last night.  We ran home for a quick dinner, and met up with Andrew who had a few minutes before attending a parent meeting at the middle school last night.  I took Thomas to youth group where I was scheduled to be the parent volunteer for the evening.  We all managed to make it home a little after 8:30.

Today is another full day at the high school.  Robert has a track meet this evening, but it's away and I just don't think I can go.  I hate missing it, but I REALLY need to get to the grocery and I clearly have not had an opportunity to do it earlier this week.  Tomorrow we are having company from out of town, so I really need to be able to work on getting the house picked up.  There is no way to know what time Robert will be home, so it just seems easier to let him drive himself home from the school when the bus gets back.

I've already told Andrew that I am going to need a nap this evening.  We are just a tired, tired house.  On the upside though, we are into the teens (only 18 after today) in terms of school days left.  That summer downtime is right around the corner!

Yesterday was my dad's birthday

Yesterday was yet another year we didn't celebrate my dad.  Honestly, it is generally my least favorite date of each year.  I can still celebrate all of the holidays because it is about so many people, and even on Father's Day I appreciate my husband and father-in-law, but April 26 is the one day of the year for me when it is about no one but my dad.  The first two years were very, very tough.  Last year, I purposely forced myself to be out and about, and I spent the day running errands and doing some shopping.  It was better than just sitting around at home.  This year, well yesterday was a very busy day, and overall I'm grateful for that.  My dad wouldn't have wanted us sitting around and being sad about anything, and I'm grateful for the memories we made.  It's certainly not that I didn't think about him, (I do everyday) and it isn't that there weren't any tears, but there weren't as many as in past years.  It also helped that it was a gorgeous day outside, and I got to be around my favorite four people in the entire world!

No longer embarrassed by our yard

Our yard has not been a source of pride for us so far this year.  Andrew had mowed it earlier in the month, and then Robert mowed it again on Good Friday.  Beyond the mowing though, we have had a serious problem with dandelions.  While they are apparently prevalent this year in our area, we seem to be one of the very few in our neighborhood experiencing this problem, and the only one around us.  Andrew has gone out to try to kill them twice, but since we hadn't mowed in 12 days, our front yard literally looked like a dandelion forest.  And our back yard, which is more well shaded and grows very quickly, definitely looked like a jungle.  I'm sure our outdoor cats were wondering what was going on!  I had meant for Robert to mow Monday evening while Andrew was at night class, but I forgot.  Tuesday was a very late track meet, and last evening Thomas had one as well, and Andrew had volunteered at it.  Fortunately, Thomas's event ended very early, and so Robert and I came home so he could mow.  It looks so much better than it did before, and I'm so grateful.  I'm no longer embarrassed by being the neighbor with "that" yard!

I don't think I could've functioned without that nap

Alternate title: That first day back is really tough.

Yesterday I subbed in middle school vocal music.  I try to avoid middle school like the plague, but Andrew pointed out there wouldn't be many jobs available so if I wanted to work I needed to take something I might not love.  I marginally regretted it by the end of the day as the girls in the final class period were something.  Anyway, right after I got out of school I headed to the church and worked on payroll and finances there.  I left there in time to get Robert from track practice, and then we headed home.  We were having leftover pizza for dinner because Andrew teaches late on Monday nights and wouldn't be home until nearly 9:00.  We were home about 5:00, and I just had to walk into my room and close my eyes for 30 minutes.  I actually fell asleep, and was asleep even longer than I planned to be.  I am so grateful I did that though, because I'm not sure I could've functioned the rest of the evening without it.  It was also pretty much my only opportunity to do so this week as we have a track meet for Robert this evening and one for Thomas tomorrow.  It's another crazy week, but we are getting ever closer to the end of the year!

I love seeing them that way

One of the greatest joys about being a substitute teacher is being able to see my kids during the day.  I especially love being able to see them when they don't know I'm watching.  Due to circumstances, Thomas is the one I've usually been able to see the most.  However, I try to avoid middle school at all costs, so I've seen him very little this year.  I've been able to see lots of Catherine, but she is used to it as she is in her dad's class every day anyway.

Today I agreed to take a middle school job.  It is vocal music so I knew I wouldn't be instructing, but Andrew mentioned that since today is the first day back from spring break, there probably wouldn't be too many jobs available so if I really wanted to work I better take anything I was willing to take and not be picky.  I signed on, and it's tolerable.  Not great, but generally tolerable.  During my lunch period, Thomas was next door in the band room.   I took a minute and walked down the hall and peaked in the window while they were playing.  I just watched him for a minute, and my heart filled!  I absolutely love being able to see my kids and have a moment with them!

Their trip to Philly

Andrew and Thomas truly enjoyed their trip to Philadelphia last week.  It's not the best time in our budget to be spending that money, but I'm so glad they took the time to make the trip.  They had a blast, and got to do so many fun things together.  They visited the Liberty Bell, Independence Hall, The U.S. Mint, the Congress Building, Washington Square's Revolutionary war tomb of the unknown soldier, Franklin's Tomb, the Franklin Museum, the Franklin Institute, and a quick trip to the Philadelphia Museum of Art before Thomas had just had too much and they had to leave.  They were even able to spend the first evening visiting with one of Andrew's college roommates and his family.  It was a spectacular trip for them, and I'm so grateful they were able to share those experiences together.

A weekend that was good for my soul

We had a very busy weekend.  Last week was so nicely unscheduled, but our weekend was busy, and yet it was so good for my soul and very needed.

Friday evening Thomas had a track meet.  He was only competing in one event, and it wasn't scheduled to begin for a while, so we ventured down to the other end of the stadium to try to find some friends.  We ended up sitting together in a large group, and it was so nice to visit, laugh, and chat with so many other parents.  It was nice to feel involved in our town, and I enjoyed that Andrew, Robert, and Catherine were all sharing it with me.  After Thomas's event we left, and Thomas remained behind so that he could join the team for a pizza party afterwards.

Saturday morning we got up and finished cleaning the house.  Shortly after lunch we left for a nearby community to watch the soccer game of a very dear friend from our former town.  They all came to our house after the game, and we all hung out for hours and hours.  Our kids, and their kids, all have social issues, but they get along together like you just wouldn't believe.  Our other close friends called to let us know they were going to be in town that evening for an event and they came over afterwards as well.  This family is struggling so deeply with a couple of their children and behaviors, and it's causing some medical problems as well.  In fact, the family that was already there has struggled immensely as well, and we all kind of sat there and shared our stories, shared some tears, some laughs, some hugs, and lots of love.

We are so grateful for these friends in our lives who love us, love our kids, and understand without judging, just as we do the same for them.  We are so grateful that even though we chose to move 30 miles away, the miles don't diminish our friendships.  In fact, it helps us to appreciate even more the times that we are able to be together.  I felt so full of gratitude and so refreshed after getting to spend that time with them.

Yesterday we had church and then a meeting following.  We went straight from there to my aunt & uncle's house here in town to help with yard work and other things.  There were several other family members there as well, and it was nice to visit, and it was nice that we were able to accomplish so much.  My aunt is having back surgery in two weeks and I'm glad we can help.

We have four full weeks and then a half week of school left.  I almost feel refreshed enough to make it through!

Marriage is about compromise

In our house, my husband converted from being a Pirates fan to being a Reds fan.  The Pirates had been bad for so long, my husband lived in southwest Ohio, and I like to think that my zealous love and enthusiasm for my favorite team made it impossible for him to think about rooting for anyone else.  I became a Steelers fan.  I wasn't a Bengals fan anyway, and a year after our marriage the Steelers drafted Roethlisberger from my alma mater...easy to become a Steelers fan.  When people ask, we always joke that it happened this way because marriage is about compromise.

In all seriousness though, marriage truly is about compromise.  This week, I'd been missing spending Easter with my own side of the family.  We haven't done so in three years, and I miss being able to do so.  Easter has almost always been with the in-laws.  My family is not religious and my in-laws very much are, so it makes more sense that way.  And I also think about the sacrifices my husband has made.  It's been six years since he has been able to be with his parents on Christmas Day.  We had asked them to come to our house for a couple of years but the last year they didn't seem to really want to be there, and by then my mom's family was beginning to gather again along with my brother-in-law's deteriorating health, and it just made more sense for us to travel there.  However, my husband has always insisted in agreement with me, that our children wake up in their own beds on Christmas morning.  I am so very grateful that we've done that each and every year.

I am so grateful for my husband, and for this life we have together!

First air drying of the season

We've had some nice weather this week.  I would've loved to be able to share a glass of wine with Andrew on the front porch this evening, but I am also enjoying so much quiet time and knowing that Catherine and Robert are so very independent and self-sufficient.  I spent the day scrapbooking, but I also was able to get three loads of laundry finished.  I put up the clothesline, and I'm so glad that I was able to air dry clothes today.  I really love not having to add to our electric bill!

How track is going...

We are several meets into the track season for both boys.  For Thomas, it's a bit of a challenge.  Okay, it's a REALLY big challenge.  He has yet to clear anything in high jump, and our friend who is a former track coach is a little appalled that he is competing in that event.  Honestly, he really has no business doing so.  He is remaining consistent at between 25-30 feet in discus and is disappointed that he isn't improving.  Honestly, it's just not a super fabulous experience so far.  He just isn't our athlete, and that is totally okay.

Robert on the other hand, is having a great deal of success.  We never would've guessed all those years ago watching him NOT run around the base paths that he would have speed.  Of course, one of the things that we know about our school district is that we just aren't athletically competitive.  Robert is competing in the 4x200m relay, and usually in the 4x400m relay.  He is also running the 300m hurdles.  He is on the upper mid part of average in many races, and even better in some others.  I so enjoy hanging out at his meets, and since he does four events at just about every meet, it keeps me busy watching.  He is really enjoying the season!

Day 1 of this year's spring break

This spring break is going to be completely different than any we've had before.  It is so very much needed, but going to be different.  For one thing, Robert has school next week.  Even the one year that he was going to school here while we still lived in our former town it happened to work out that year that the break was the same for both schools.  I also decided that Andrew and Thomas were going to spend part of the week on a trip of history sites.  They will both absolutely love it, and since I don't like cities, it is perfect.  Andrew, Catherine, and Thomas left today for Andrew's parents, and Robert and I will join them tomorrow.  Robert, Catherine, and I will return Sunday and Andrew and Thomas will take off for their mini-trip.  I don't love that for five of the ten nights of this break I won't get to sleep next to my husband.

I am very grateful that for this week there won't be any track practice.  The high school is holding it during the day and obviously Robert won't be able to attend.  I'm grateful not only from a time standpoint, but from the drama standpoint.  Today's phones though, keep everyone in contact almost too much it seems.  Even though Robert doesn't attend the same school as his now ex-girlfriend or her friends, the drama is still there and he can still be reached.  He has made some VERY poor choices in his responses and actions this week, and it's been a very disappointing week.

I'm grateful for the season of Easter and this weekend.  I'm grateful for the reminder of new beginnings, and I'm praying that it touches the heart of all of our family members!

I love the wall

Last October, our family had professional family photographs taken.  It had been 6-1/2 years since we had done so, and even then it was just one pose as part of a larger group.  We made arrangements to have photos taken of all of us, and I am so, so in love with how they turned out.  We purchased a large package of photos, and gave many away as Christmas gifts to various family & friends.  About a month ago, I decided I wanted many of them displayed on the wall, and I went out and purchased several frames.  Andrew got them hung about a week later, and they are all on the wall above the TV in our family room.  I absolutely love looking at them when I'm sitting here.  Because of the laptop we have, I'm able to sit in my favorite spot even when I need to be online, and it brings me so much joy to look at the pictures of my family.  They are almost all of the kids, and there is nothing that brings me greater joy!

It's a really long short week

This is only a four day week, but it feels sooooo much longer.  Monday I worked all day, then went to church and worked some more.  I then went home to change clothes, and dashed off to Thomas's track meet, where we didn't get home until  after 7:00.  Monday is the evening when Andrew teaches his night class and it was nearly 9:00 before he was home.  Yesterday I only worked in the morning at school, but then went to work at church, before dashing home to change clothes.  We had to take Andrew's car to the shop for some repair work and it was 40 minutes away, then I dashed to Robert's track meet.  It was 9:00 before I got home from that.  Today I'm working again all day, then I need to pick Robert up from school and to make it to an appointment before I drop him off at track practice and dash to Thomas' track meet.  I then need to go straight from the meet to my monthly band meeting, then drop my car off for new tires tomorrow.  Tomorrow I'm not currently scheduled, but we'll see what happens with that.  At some point I'm hoping I can retrieve my car (thank goodness for three vehicles!) and then we hope to be able to get Andrew's car, at which point I can dash off to Robert's track meet.  Andrew, Catherine, and Thomas are leaving for PA Friday (Robert and I are heading over on Saturday) which means I need to find time to do laundry at some point.  The end of this all though, will be spring break, and that will be wonderful!

I'm noticing it at school as well.  One of my teacher friends said to me yesterday that she really feels we've just pushed in one week too long.  I'll admit the kids are definitely losing any focus and motivation that may have existed.  I think everyone is going to be so very grateful for this break!

The drama of young love

Robert had a track meet last evening.  He was pretty excited about it as he was going to get to throw disc which he hadn't done since his successful 8th grade year.  He had a fabulous relay to start the evening, and then another decent relay that probably would've led to a first place finish if not for a really bad hand off in the final exchange.  After that, I ventured out to the discus area.  He was standing in a corner by himself and I had a feeling...which was right.  He had just received a text from his girlfriend that she was ending it.  We weren't overly surprised as there had been lots of young love drama occurring, but that doesn't make the timing of it any better.  He was so upset, and was completely unfocused during his throwing...which just added to all of his emotions.  Andrew and I both feel that after seven months, he deserved better than a text breakup, but we have tried to stay out of it overall.  As a mom, it's so hard to see my son hurt so much, but I also know that there really isn't anything I can say or do to make it better.  At this point, we are just praying that Robert remembers all the other good things happening in life and that we don't have any regression in his behaviors!

Last week before break

We are in our last four days of school before four of us are on break next week.  All of us have Friday off, and we are looking forward to an extra day of sleeping in!

We had a fairly laid-back weekend, and I am grateful for that.  Friday evening we traveled to our former town and visited with friends.  We are so grateful for these friends we have where we can just hang out, and the kids love reconnecting even though it's been months since we've seen each other.  Robert had to work Saturday evening and Sunday afternoon, but I didn't leave the house at all on Saturday.  It was my chance to catch up on things for my volunteer job and catch up on laundry.  It didn't help that I didn't feel well most of the weekend.  Andrew took the boys to church yesterday and I stayed home with Catherine who didn't feel great either.

The thing I enjoyed about the weekend was just hanging out with my kiddos.  We got things done, and just enjoyed hanging out together!

I really enjoyed our time together

Today I am back in the Ag class that causes afternoon stress in my world.  I really love the morning classes, and honestly, I refuse to let the afternoon classes chase me away.  It also helps that we are on a modified schedule and I only have to see them for about 30 minutes!

The previous three days this week I've been in for the English teacher next to Andrew.  There was a student teacher in the room, so I was literally there just to keep things legal.  It allowed me a lot of flexibility though.  I was able to take care of some other things I needed to handle, and I was able to kind of float back & forth out of Andrew's room.   I graded some quizzes he had given, and I was able to help with another project as well.  At the same time, he was able to assist with some drama, and we just worked really well together as a team.

We both really enjoyed getting to see each other so much.  In fact, some of the students told me yesterday how cute we are together.  At the same time, we both acknowledge we couldn't do it every day.  It would get very old after awhile and we would quickly get on each other's nerves.  I'm grateful for each day, whatever it brings, with my husband!

We are a tired house

Our house is just flat out tired.  For Robert, I think it is adjusting to being back at school after having last week off for break.  For Catherine, I think it has been the stress of the state testing.  Same for Thomas, and there is also the mental drain of our unpleasant evening Tuesday evening, as well as the track competitions.  Andrew works about 14 hour days on Monday, and I'm working every day this week as well.  We are really, really tired.

Last evening at 8:00 I looked at Thomas and he could barely keep his eyes open.  I sent him to bed, and he didn't protest.  At 9:00, Catherine announced that she was going to bed.  I reminded her that because of the school schedule with testing this week, she was going to get to sleep in about three hours, but she said she was tired and wanted to go to bed anyway.  Andrew decided he couldn't stay awake anymore and was off to bed shortly after 9:00.  Robert came in shortly after that and said good night.  I told him he didn't have to go to bed yet, but he said he was tired and his movie had ended so it was good timing.  At 9:30 I was the only one still awake!  After watching Joey Votto hit a home run to put the Reds ahead I decided it was a good time for me to turn in as well.

I instantly fell asleep and was in a deep sleep.  I woke up hoping that I still had at least another hour to sleep and the clock said it was only 11:00.  Clearly I had already been sleeping deeply, and that was delightful.

We have a fairly unscheduled weekend, and I'll be honest, I am looking forward to that!  We will have plenty to get done around the house, but for the most part we don't have a set schedule!

Not our best evening

Last evening was kind of a rough evening...during a rough week.  I am working every day this week, and I'm absolutely grateful for these opportunities.  At the same time, I'm obviously tired and still trying to get things done around the house.  It's also state testing week for the kids, so the school schedules are completely out of the normal routines.  And of course, we are down to 30 days of school left for the year so we are all really ready to just be finished.

We aren't though, and things need to get accomplished.  That includes laundry (necessary for Thomas's track meet this evening) and homework, etc.  The kids are losing their scholastic momentum and while I can't blame them, it isn't acceptable.  School needs to happen, and they need to be responsible about it.  Unfortunately, I completely blew my top, and I absolutely hate when that happens.  I hate that there was yelling and there were tears, and I know that is not the way to handle things.  On the upside, as things calmed down, there were still lots of hugs and we always know there is love.

As always, I'm grateful for the new day to make a new beginning!

A wet beginning to his track career

Yesterday was Thomas's debut in the world of track.  It was a wet mess.  We were soaked by the end, and Thomas had some wet tears as well.  He didn't even come close to clearing in the high jump, and his longest disc throw was only 32 ft.  On the upside, that is the longest he's ever thrown, but many kids were throwing in the 60 - 80 ft range.  His reality came crashing down around him, and it was heartbreaking to watch.  We so appreciate that he is willing to try all of these different things.  We just wish he wasn't quite so unrealistic about his abilities.  Overall, it was just a miserable evening for him.  Hoping that he can figure out how to have fun, even if he isn't competitive.

A day of figuring out how to go with the flow

I am scheduled to sub today, and it's in one of my favorite places.  It is in the classroom next to Andrew, and she has a student teacher so there really is nothing for me to do.  That turns out to be a good thing, because other things are popping up all over.

This is a standardized testing week, so as a sub I wasn't required to report until 2-1/2 hours later than normal.  That was nice!  I knew there was an adjusted schedule, as the class periods are only about 1/2 hour long.  I was expected to be in plan for the first period as I know the teacher's schedule well, but was reassigned to another class.  Okay, I'll go with the flow!  Before classes actually began, I went to the athletic office to get a picture packet for team pictures that are after school today.  Robert wasn't able to attend practice Friday and that was when packets were handed out.  The athletic office actually didn't have any, and suggested I hunt down another teacher who coaches a spring sport.  I'm not sure when I can make that happen, but I will work on it.  Somehow, I need to meet with Robert after school and get him the packet that hopefully I can track down.  We also received an email that Thomas has an unscheduled track meet today.  There was a miscommunication between the two schools, and if they can make this happen, it is an excellent opportunity for Thomas to participate.  Of course, now I have to throw things together so that he is prepared to compete.

And I just got to send a kid to the office!  Ugh!  This child did a stupid thing that he could easily fix, but he chose to turn it into a power struggle.  I ended up having to call a principal to come and remove him from the room because he refused to go.  This is quickly turning into the longest short day ever!