The end of May

We've been out of our school routine for a week.  There have only been two days of swim so far, and the kids are enjoying it.  It's been a bit of a crazy week as we are getting ready to leave for vacation on Saturday, and I'm trying to get caught up from a computer failure that occurred in March at the church office.

Overall though, we've enjoyed the first week off.  The weather this week is exceptionally gorgeous.  We haven't had the a/c on since the middle of the weekend.  We've enjoyed some front-porch sitting and it's just been relaxing.  Looking forward to eleven more weeks of this!

I pretty much loved this entire weekend

I really, really loved this weekend.  It was truly a fabulous way to begin our summer.  Friday evening Andrew grilled for dinner, and then we had a family movie night.  We watched A Few Good Men.  With Robert's future plans, we knew he would like it, and the others did as well.  We were all able to sleep in Saturday, then late afternoon we attended a graduation party.  We ran an errand on our way home, and then we all just hung out again.  Andrew and I were able to enjoy a glass of wine on the porch and just soak in the scenery of the nature around us.

Sunday was a very early morning as we made the trek north to join the family for the annual cemetery tour.  Since it had been several years since we had done so, and since we didn't know what would be happening with Robert next year, we decided to do the cemetery portion in addition to the meal.  The tornado I wrote about last week did some serious damage to the restaurant where we always eat and we had to go to plan B.  Twenty-two members of my mom's family gathered together and we had a blast.  That afternoon Andrew and I made a quick appearance at another grad party, and that evening we ventured back to our former town for dinner with friends.

Yesterday Andrew ran a few errands and then we attended a cook out at a friend of Andrew's.  It was a nice afternoon, but we are leaving on vacation Saturday and I just couldn't help but think of everything we need to accomplish.  We were there several hours, but still got many things done at home.

And today is the beginning of our official summer routine with swim team!

The first full day of summer vacation

Today is the first day for this summer where no one had to go to work.  Technically that is not entirely true as I went into our church office for several hours, but I can set that around my own schedule.  In addition, Andrew had a football meeting this morning, and Robert had a "date".  They are friends who went out last summer, and she is in no rush to rush into things again.  I think that is actually a really good idea.  Anyway, our evening this evening will consist of grilling some dinner and then watching a movie together.  Tomorrow we have a grad party to attend, and that is the only thing on the calendar.  Sunday and Monday are going to be very busy, and so is next week, but it's still a more laid-back time of year...and I'm really looking forward to today and tomorrow!

Graduation #2

Last evening Andrew and I attended our second graduation of the week.  Robert had to work, Catherine played in the band, and Thomas wanted to stay home.  Andrew and I sat in the same spots we had sat for the last three years, and I love it because we can see the graduates walk in and out.  I loved being there last night.  I loved seeing the seniors walk across the stage and I was able to get hugs from many of the senior Ag kids who have a piece of my heart.  And of course, I couldn't ignore the fact that next year is our turn.  I am looking forward to seeing my own son walk across that stage!

There is a tornado on the ground

I have weather alerts on my phone not only for our own county, but for the county I grew up in where my family still lives.  Earlier today we were in the midst of deluge here in our town.  Our ditch flooded like I have not seen in our nearly four years here.  Once it passed though, we've just been hanging out watching a steady rain and watching some TV.  Andrew had a dinner with the superintendent and we were just enjoying some down time.

My phone alert went off though, and it listed my home county as being in a tornado warning.  The skycams that the news station have actually showed the tornado...it could be seen on live television.  Fortunately, that was not actually a tornado in my home town.  There is a pretty good chance that it is going to miss my hometown, but until I know for sure, I'm a little bit shaky.  As it is, there is much family directly in the path where it is hitting.  This is pretty scary!

I went to bed before dark last night

It has been crazy around here, but we wouldn't want it any other way!  Saturday Thomas was up and at 'em to paintball, and the rest of us spent our morning getting ready for Kyle's graduation party.  He is the son of our very dear friends and along with his brother is the closest we'll ever have to a nephew.  Their family has been experiencing a great deal of stress lately due to some health issues, so we were early afternoon to help in any way that we could.  We arrived in shifts and left in shifts, but we were there.  It was really nice to be able to see so many people we hadn't seen in years and visit.  We were tired people when we left, but we had so much fun.

Sunday was a day for catching up around the house, and then Monday was back to school for everyone except Robert.  He and I spent the day getting ready for the next phase of his life after next year's graduation, and we are very proud of him.  That evening we attended a ceremony where Thomas was recognized for his work in band, and then dashed to be at Kyle's graduation.  He was one of the valedictorians and I'm so pleased we were in our seats exactly as it began and we didn't miss a thing!

Yesterday I spent all day planting in the front of our house, and after everything I was just wiped out.  I fell asleep on the couch at 8, and when Andrew put Thomas to bed at 9 I woke up and went to bed myself.  I needed the sleep!  And as of 2:30 this afternoon, we are finished with school!

A heartwarming story

I saw a story online today.  It was about a high school senior.  He had, at one point in his high school years, been sleeping in a tent.  He then was able to sleep on the floor of his grandfather's trailer, but with no pillow or blanket.  A friend at school, who had been giving him her lunch so he would have something to eat at home, asked her mom if she could give him something to sleep on.  The mom invited him to stay a night at their house.  That night turned into a week, which turned into a month, and now that family is his legal guardian.  Last evening at the senior award presentations, this young man was awarded a four-year full scholarship to the college he is planning to attend by a high school alum who has gone on to become a famous comedian.  It's an amazing story.

And here is the point that brought me to tears.  I know the young man.  I've had him in Ag class this year.  He is a fabulous young man and I purchased strawberries from him.  Never in a million years would I have guessed his background was as it is.  I showed the article to Robert and it included a picture.  Robert recognized the young man.  I can't even imagine what that young man has been through.

I am so grateful for this story, and for the alum who is making a true difference in the life of a current young person.  I pray that my heart is open to God using me to make a difference in the lives of others as well.

Apparently we are skipping spring

Last week it was very chilly.  We broke down and had the heat on early in the week because it was getting down to the 30's overnight.  We had our really gorgeous weekend, and that lasted through Monday.  Yesterday, though, the heat and humidity began to really kick in.  Even Monday it began to get warm, but it was going to be cool enough overnight (and none of us were home yesterday anyway) that we didn't need the a/c on.  I turned in on yesterday when I got home though.

Turning the a/c on also helps with the allergies...and they are miserable this year.  The pollen count is apparently very high, and I believe it without question.  It has been a long time since I have been this miserable.  I'm not sure which is worse, the constant and continuous sneezing or the sneezes that feel as though they are building but don't actually happen, causing the nose to burn and the eyes to water.  Either way is not particularly pleasant.  And my nose is so stuffed I can't breath out of both nostrils at the same time.  It is not particularly fun.  We'll get through though!

I couldn't say no

Yesterday afternoon I received an email from one of the Ag teachers.  This isn't the one I'm in for most of the time that has challenging afternoon classes...this is the really fun one!  He needed a sub for today, and I let him know I couldn't do it.  However, at 9:30 last evening the job was still posted.  I talked to Andrew about letting Robert drive to school today.  He needs to leave school early because of the departure time for his track meet.  His academics are finished at 9:30 this morning, so leaving early wasn't an issue, but picking him up was really the only reason I couldn't work today.  We decided it would be okay and I took the job.  Honestly, it might be the easiest day of subbing I have all year.  Not only is it early release day, but in addition to his plan period he has a class that is all seniors and they are finished with school.  Three of his other classes are at least 1/2 seniors, so it's definitely an easy day!  I'm grateful I was able to work it out to be here!

Officially finished until August

Today I was in 3rd grade...and it is the last assignment of the year!  I am so excited to be done!  I've truly enjoyed the job this year, and I'm especially grateful for the extra income.  At the same time, I'm grateful that with only six days of school left, I'm finished for the year.  School begins in 92 days, and I plan to enjoy all of the time off until then!  We celebrated my last day with by ordering pizzas.  I had a gift card, AND tonight is a fundraiser for the Ag class I love so much.  It's a great Tuesday!

I really loved the weekend

We had a really wonderful, and much needed weekend around here.  Friday evening after work I ran to the grocery.  Andrew transported kids, Robert worked, and we were all in bed at a very decent hour.  And we SLEPT.  I slept until 10 on Saturday morning.  Thomas had stayed over for a friend's birthday party and was a little cranky on Saturday, but over all it was a fabulous day.  I got lots of desk work done, Andrew got lots of yard work done, and the weather was absolutely gorgeous.  That evening Andrew and I attended an FFA banquet.  It is ridiculously long, but I wanted to be there for the Ag kids I've grown to love this year.  I was strangely emotional about seeing them at their final activity.  I'm just crazy about most of those kids!  After we got home, Andrew and I enjoyed a glass of wine sitting out on our front porch.  It was exactly how I would love to spend all of our evenings if that was an option!

Sunday was another gorgeous day, and my gift was being able to sleep in again!  I took Thomas and Catherine to visit my mother and grandmother while Robert worked.  Andrew stayed home to get school things finished and then brought in Taco Bell (my request) for dinner.  As we are nearing the end of the year, it was a pretty laid back Sunday evening, and I really, really loved this weekend.  Andrew commented on how happy and relaxed I seemed, and I pointed out I was actually rested!

An hour from being into single digits

In an hour, school will be done for the day.  I'm working again today, so I'll be honest, I'm kind of counting down the minutes until that happens.  And when it does...we will be into single digits for the year!  This was definitely the fastest year yet, and I know with Robert being a senior next year is going to go even faster.  He actually only has four days of school left this year.  It really is crazy.

I would love for this summer to just be full of fun from beginning to end, but as I told another parent this morning, I know that isn't the reality of how it is going to happen.  I just hope that we do make some fun memories as the summer comes along!

I don't regret my decision, but I still feel guilty about it

This evening, Robert has the finals of the league track meet.  Tuesday's prelims didn't go particularly well.  He didn't qualify for finals in the 300m hurdles.  We knew there was about a 50/50 chance he'd get in.  He didn't run his fastest race of the season, and he needed to do that in order to guarantee getting to the finals.  His 4X800m relay was run as a final, and it was pretty much a disaster.  Our first runner was very strong, and he handed off in third place.  Another mom and I were concerned because we knew our third leg runner is not particularly strong.  Our second leg handed off in fourth place, and after the third leg we were about 200m out of being competitive.  Robert ran anchor, and we realized the only team behind them had been disqualified.  Because he had no chance of catching anyone in front of him, he was advised to just jog his 800m so he could save his strength for the hurdles.  It was very disappointing to watch.

Tonight, he is scheduled to run in two more relay finals.  One of them could be competitive, one of them most likely won't even be.  I hate the thought of not being there, but I won't be.  Neither will Andrew.  He and Thomas are attending a football meeting this evening (I will write later about Thomas's horrific decision to play football this fall), and I am having dinner with friends.  Normally I would never choose that over being there for my son, but this is different.  This is our lifelong group of friends, and we are having a girls' dinner.  We haven't done this since April of last year, and I haven't seen most of these friends since October.  It's been entirely too long!  I know that being there for my kids is important, but I also know how important it is to maintain friendships.  I don't regret my decision and I know that Robert understands, but I still feel really guilty about it!

The overwhelming smell of french vanilla coffee

I am back at the high school again today.  I had every intention of being off today.  No jobs had been listed and I just wanted a day off.  Last night though, a job in Spanish class appeared.  I knew it wouldn't be an awful job, but I really wanted to be off.  I told Andrew that I wouldn't take it unless it was still there when I got up this morning.  He encouraged me to stay home.  I explained to him though that if no one takes the job, Lynn (the woman in charge of subs) is going to call me and then I'm going to say I'll go in, so I might as well save everyone the trouble and just take the job and be there on time.  That's exactly what I did, and here I am.

Near the teacher desk (with the most uncomfortable chair I've experienced yet this year) is a coffee maker.  The scent of french vanilla coffee is almost overwhelming, and to be honest, it is way too tempting.  I try not to consume many beverages on the days I work, and coffee is definitely not one that I should drink.  It smells so good though!

Still cutting coupons

I have always been a coupon cutter.  Even though it can be time consuming, it was always worth it and as a stay-at-home mom, I felt it was necessary.  In fact, I found it was inexcusable to NOT take the time to cut out coupons.  My mom cut them out and my grandmother cut them out.  It's what we did.  While many people would advise that I just buy generic, there were many times that I could get the brand name cheaper than generic.  And there are also times that the generic brand just isn't going to cut it for my taste buds.

I'm noticing though, that the coupons are becoming less and less beneficial.  Many times they are so specific in terms of size that buying a larger size can still be a better purchase.  They also tend to be on products I would never use, or on items that are so expensive I wouldn't buy them anyway.  There is also a push to go to electronic coupons.  To be honest, I don't necessarily find this any more time effective.  I still have to go through all of the options, and then the coupon is only good at that store.  I can't use it at just any store I happen to stop into.

None-the-less, this morning I sat there and cut out all the coupons I could find.  I plan to get to the grocery tomorrow, and the list needs to be done today.  Any amount of money saved is worth it!

Too early in the week to feel this tired

It is Tuesday morning.  We are only one full day into the week, and I am tired.  Really, really tired.  Yesterday was a longer day than I expected.  When I arrived for my half day of work, they asked me to stay through the afternoon, and also to cover other classes during the plan period.  I barely had time to eat lunch.  Although I did expect to be here all day today, I am again covering extra classes, and it's not particularly fun to walk through the halls with students a foot taller than I am!

Anyway, last night was the year-end band concert, awards, & desserts for the band.  I decided to ask parents to help donate desserts instead of attempting to bake 600 on my own.  I had Robert and Thomas along to help, although Andrew was teaching his final night class of the year.  Because I am in charge of such things, there is no leaving until everything is cleaned up.  It was after 9:15 before we all got home.

This evening Robert has a track meet.  It is the league competition, so even though it is raining it isn't going to be cancelled.  They have informed us they will wait it out and do everything they can to get things in this evening.  Robert runs in two events...the very first one and the second-to-last one.  I'm keeping my fingers crossed that we are home by 10 and can be in bed shortly after.

I'm not currently scheduled to work tomorrow or Thursday, and I'm cautiously optimistic it will stay that way.  I would certainly appreciate some extra sleep!

A rough trip to the amusement park

Things with Thomas are just emotionally tough these days.  I know everything will most likely be fine, but he is at that tough age...right smack in the middle of the middle school years.  Many things make me sad and nostalgic about my kids growing up.  The fact that I will never have another seventh grader is not one of those things on the list.

Friday evening was a little rough just trying to get him ready.  Andrew and I are working very hard on not taking our frustrations out on him and to remember that he is trying...his brain is just overwhelmed.  At the same time, he has got to figure out how to function productively...that is a fact of life.  Eventually we go things put together and ready to go for our 5:30 wake up time.

Andrew was willing to get up and take him, but as "mom", I needed to go over things with him one more time.  I went back to bed as soon as they were out the door, and was very grateful for another few hours of sleep.  When I got up, I began working on picking up the house, as well as many things that needed to be handled for my band volunteer job.  About half way through the afternoon, the band director called.  At first I was going to let it go to voicemail so I could handle whatever when I had a little more time.  Then I remembered that he was in charge of my son, and I ran to the phone.  Sure enough, Thomas had become sick on a roller coaster ride.  I neglected to think about the impact of not eating enough on my motion-sickness-prone son.  For whatever reason, an empty stomach is the worst for him.  Both Thomas and the director assured me he'd be fine the rest of the trip, and since there were only two hours left at the park I was all for it.

Unfortunately, Thomas didn't eat anything else the rest of the day, and there was more sickness on the bus (twice) and again when Robert picked him up.  Oh goodness!  It sure is hard on a mom's heart to know your child is struggling.  As soon as we were able to get food in him, he was chipper again, and slept very well that night.

As I said to Andrew, his system is just more fragile than most, and to a certain extent it has always been that way.  I also pointed out to Andrew though, that President Kennedy was sickly as a child, so there are still lots of things that can be accomplished!

Sibling time

Friday was one of those days that really just couldn't end soon enough for me.  To say that I was tired doesn't really describe how I felt.  When I got my jammies on at approximately 5:30, I literally let out some sort of war cry...I was that excited about being "done" with my day.

Andrew had gone out with some co-workers after school, and then he took on the responsibility for picking up the boys from their activities.  Robert walked in and was dying to go to a movie that evening, and wanted to take his siblings with him.  We were stunned, and pleasantly surprised!  The kids actually wanted to spend time together!

We didn't want Thomas to go as he had to be up at 5:30 Saturday morning, and he understood that.  Catherine wasn't convinced that she wanted to see the specific movie Robert wanted to see, but finally she agreed.  They went off, and enjoyed their evening together.  We were so thrilled that our kids wanted to do this.  None of our kids are great about having a social life and making plans, but there is nothing wrong with being each other's friends!

Kind of like a dream come true

This morning I sat in church, feeling refreshed with the message, and with my husband and two of my children in the pew next to me (Robert was in the building but was helping to prepare for an event that was happening afterwards).  It suddenly dawned on me how my dreams had come true.

That seems a little dramatic, but it's really not overstating the situation.  When I was a teen, I attended church by myself.  It was a four block walk from my home, and I made the trip most Sundays.  I often sat with my best friend Kristen, and her sister Becca.  Their mom was singing in the choir, and their father was the pastor.  I would look around at all of the families, and I would envision the day when I would be sitting in the pew with my own family.

Even after getting married, there seemed a few years when that dream still seemed so far away.  Today though, even though it has been this way for years, I really realized that young teenager's dream had come true.  I am so grateful to have these moments.  We are so blessed!

I feel like they're missing out, and sometimes I feel guilty about it

My sister emailed me the baseball schedules for two of my cousin's children earlier this week.  I dutifully put them all on the calendar, knowing that we'll be lucky if we make it to any of them.  It's not that I don't want to be there, but we definitely have our own things going on.  My sister makes it to just about every game that she can.  She is also at many activities for our second cousin in town, and even the children of some family friends.  I don't begrudge her this, but...

My sister hasn't been to one track meet this year.  She wasn't at one swim meet last season.  She brought my mother and grandmother to a cross country meet in the fall, but didn't see anyone swim last summer either.  In fact, she has never seen my kids in the pool, there has never been anything in terms of track meets, or band concerts, and it's been four years since she saw anyone play basketball.  I understand that we aren't right there in town, but I make the trip there frequently.  In fact, I've made the trip to see a cousin's son play soccer several times, I've made it to one of the baseball games, and I saw a cousin's child in a musical production.  I try not to be jealous and resentful, but sometimes it becomes challenging.  I acknowledge that I am the one that CHOSE to move a greater distance away, but again, I'm not on the other side of the country.  I'm not even invited to join in family meals or just hanging out that they sometimes do together.  It's not because I've always said no either.  I do everything I can to make it to family functions whenever I can.  Perhaps it's me and something I've said or done.

It tears at my heart a little when I see athletic or musical events and kids have extended family there.  I was lucky enough to have that when I was growing up.  Our family was always together then just as they are now, and I always wanted that for my kids.  In fact, it is part of the reason we decided to move here.  Not a huge part, but it was a factor.  We had family here, and I thought they would enjoy coming to an event or so a season, and I knew my kids would appreciate having them attend.  In almost four years though, they have attended zero events for my kiddos.  Before we moved, we had friends that would attend just to see our kids, just as we did for their children.  I feel guilty that my kids are missing out on that acknowledgement and support.

Not only do I feel my kids are missing out though, I feel like my family is as well.  I have pretty great kids, and the rest of my family is missing out on a chance to connect and be a part of their lives as well.  This has really been getting to me lately, and the arrival of the baseball schedule just kind of really forced it home.  I felt like it is expected that I make the effort to get there, when I know darn well no one is going to extend that same effort to my kids.  It's all just hurting my heart a little these days.

It's a little heartbreaking for me to watch

We are having a really, really rough time with Thomas these days, and I'm having a really tough time watching it happen.  I feel so lost about how to help him, and it's painful.

I had suspected, pretty much since he started school, that Thomas had attention and focus problems.  It all came to a head last school year.  I remember him sitting with me, absolutely in tears, because he didn't seem to have a clue what was going on in math.  Math has always been something he is so good at, and when he couldn't even tell me what they were studying or how the routine worked (and we are talking 3/4 of the way through the year!), it was my "aha" moment.  Putting him on the medication was clearly the best decision we've ever made.

The downside though, is that the meds affect his appetite.  Thomas is already an extremely picky eater, and having a decreased appetite sure isn't doing him any favors.  The last two doctor's visits (we have to go every 60 days for the medication) he had actually LOST weight.  This is not a good thing for a person his age, especially one so tiny to begin!  We had decided that we are taking him off the medication for the summer in hopes that he will bulk up, at least a little.  We'll take anything at this point.

Another reason to take him off the medication is that I can see it isn't really working.  He is fuzzy again, and he's struggling.  It's hard for us not to get frustrated and want him to just "do it" and take care of things and be responsible.  I know that isn't how his brain works though.  We certainly can't increase the medication, because as we explained to him last night, nothing is more important than his physical health.  We are hoping that by taking him off the medication, it will help it to begin to be more effective again in the fall.

In the meantime, it's really hard watching your kid want to figure something out and want to do a good job, but feel so overwhelmed by everything he is perceiving that it just isn't possible.  It's also hard watching your kid look like he is becoming emaciated because he won't eat.  It's all just one of the many, many tough things about parenting.

So tired in the midst of this really long week

The May/end-of-school-year craziness is definitely in full swing.  We are just tired, tired people.  I see it in myself, my husband, my kiddos, and all of the students and staff.  After today, only 14 days of school left.  We will get there, but it still seems daunting at this point.

After being off Monday and being able to be very productive, the rest of the week got very busy.  I worked 1/2 day in 4th grade on Tuesday, then went to my church job.  I was home long enough to change clothes and then picked up Thomas from athletic conditioning before I headed to Robert's track meet...where I was for the next five hours.  He has developed a cold so it wasn't his best meet of the season.  In fact, generally speaking we were not at all competitive in this meet.  Not only that but it was COLD, and the wind was brutal.

Yesterday was a full day of kindergarten.  I love the little ones, but it is so physically exhausting.  I went home to pick up Robert and we headed to the grocery.  I got to see Andrew for about 45 minutes before he was back out the door for a school event.  I gave Robert NyQuil so that he would sleep well (and since he went to bed at 8:00, he also slept long!), and I myself didn't stay up late either.

Today is a full day of the Ag class, and then I have to head to church again.  Thomas also has a band concert this evening.  I work again in Ag tomorrow, and although Thomas has a track party after school and I might have to work at church again, we have a relatively unscheduled evening.  That may be MY turn to go to bed at 8:00!

Unfortunately on Saturday I have to be up at 5:30 again.  Thomas has an all-day band activity, although I will be able to return to bed and sleep after dropping him off by 6:30.  We have dinner plans that evening, and then we have church commitments Sunday morning and early afternoon.  Knowing that next week brings night class, another band concert, two meetings, and two track meets, means we need to start the week as rested as we can!

I very much appreciated this day off

After not working much in March, I had all of ONE school day off in April.  Of course spring break was in there, but in terms of days where I was on my own, there was only one.  I truly enjoyed that, just as I enjoyed today.  I am scheduled every day the rest of this week and even though tomorrow is only a half day, I need to go in and work on my church job as well.

Although the house was picked up, there were some errands I had been putting off for a couple of weeks until I could make the hour trip.  It was so nice to be able to accomplish getting it done.  I can not put into words how grateful I am that my husband supports me not working full time (or even a specific part-time) so that I can not only have a few days like this and still have our summers and breaks together.  Life is full of so many blessings!

How are we 1/3 of the way through the year?

I can't help but wonder how this is possible.  Although I say that, and yet 3-1/2 weeks until school is out feels like forever from now!  I know though, that I am going to blink and it will be here.

We had a nice weekend, although it was very wet.  I am so very grateful to be off today, as it is my only day off this week.  Tomorrow and Wednesday are half days in the elementary, and then Thursday and Friday are full days in the Ag class from ****.  I just refuse to let the chaos of that class chase me away.  I guess I'm just a glutton for punishment!

Thomas is finished with track.  I think he is glad it is over.  Robert still has at least three more weeks.  He has loved every moment of the season.

I'm so grateful for the school year and craziness to be winding down.  At the same time, I can't believe we only have one more year of having all three kids involved in the craziness!