Parenting struggles

I'm grateful that this post is not about any specific struggle our family is facing...but goodness knows we have had our fair share.  I never looked forward to parenting teens, and even with that "low" expectation, I still feel that I had no idea what I was facing.  My husband has taught teenagers for over 20 years, and yet I still think we were only slightly prepared for the "job" of preparing these young people to go out into the world...and it so isn't just us.

Over Christmas I had a chat with someone I've recently had the opportunity to know better.  Her son is a junior and is one of my favorite human beings.  Her daughter however, is the young lady who took her own life as a fourteen-year-old almost four years ago.  We talk about our struggles raising our sons, and while I'm sure sometimes she thinks we have nothing to complain about, she also knows only too well how the little things can suddenly become so serious, and deadly.

On New Year's Eve, we spent the evening with our closest friends from our former town.  All of them, with the exception of one couple whose oldest child is a year younger than our youngest, have kids in high school and slightly younger.  One of them talks about the anxiety that their son faces, and how he is currently medicated.  They talked about how he will most likely be medicated for the rest of his life, and if he isn't, there will most likely be a suicide prevention plan similar to the ones they've had in the past.  I suspect they feel as though they can literally never let their guard down.  This kid is on his way to Harvard or Stanford or Penn, and they are just grateful for each day that he is alive.  Another of our friends talked about their daughter's anxiety and the physical manifestations that are occuring within her.  She is having seizures that are literally caused by absolutely nothing physical.  She can't be left alone, and it is affecting every aspect of her family's lives.  She couldn't attend her brother's graduation last spring, and her parents have to take days off work on days she can't attend school.  Her sister and brother are often responsible for keeping an eye on her, and it's just taken a toll on the emotions and stress levels of all of them.  The friend with younger children is not currently dealing with teen issues, but pointed out to us that she is not wearing her wedding ring as she and her husband are having marital issues.

All of this brings me to this...you just never know.  Everyone posts on social media about the good things that are happening, and to a certain extent I think that is a good thing.  Social media should often be upbeat and positive.  At the same time, that isn't reality.  I am grateful for the blessing in our lives each day and I do believe, through my faith, that things are mostly going to work out okay.  However, parenting is hard, and stressful, and emotional, and at times just down-right terrifying.  We literally never know what is happening in someone else's home or what they might be fighting in their own hearts or heads.  I pray that I can remember that whenever someone treats me poorly, and I hope that there are times when maybe I can make someone smile, or just take away the stress for a little bit.  Sadly, the craziness and chaos, the fear, the pain (and all of the good things too), are truly what is normal.