I want to go "home"

Yesterday we had to take two separate cars to drive to my aunt & uncle's house.  I had Catherine with me and the rest were driven by Andrew.  We stopped to drop something off at my best friend's house, and then we were on our way.

A little over half way home, my eyes began to fill with tears.  I realized for the first time I really don't want to stay in this town for years on end.  I had so much fun with my cousins yesterday, but I miss small family things because I'm over an hour away.  We can't make it to dinner gatherings with our friends because we are an hour away.  I'm incredibly grateful that we are here and that are kids are in these schools.  When that need is finished though, I want to go back and be closer to the area we call home.  I don't know if that will ever get to happen, but maybe someday!

A Thanksgiving I will always remember

Today was one of my most favorite days.  I truly loved it.  It is a Thanksgiving I hope I always remember.

There were 28 of us all together at my aunt & uncle's house.  I loved watching how all nine of the great-grandkids, ranging in age from Catherine at 18 to Ava at age 4, hung out together and laughed together.  Most of the grandkids and spouses (along with Andrew's parents) all sat at another table.  I don't ever remember having as much fun and sharing as much as we did today.  While I am older than all of my cousins (in fact, I called them my "baby" cousins growing up), we are all adults now and the age difference doesn't matter anymore.  We all enjoyed watching our kids, and we laughed as we heard them arguing about the answer to a math problem.

We missed our sailor, and with the impending graduation of Catherine, and of course losing my aunt...with all of this, gathering together as a family seemed all that more important.  I so enjoyed getting to spend the day with so much family.

Thanksgiving morning

My favorite holiday of the year is here.  I'll be honest though, Thanksgiving isn't what it used to be.  There were so many years when Thanksgiving meant an entire weekend of time for our family to do exactly what we wanted, and to just hang out.  It's so different now.  Catherine will work all weekend, and the kids had swim practice and work out yesterday.  We also need to transport Andrew's parents back and forth, and it just isn't the amount of "down" time that we had in the past.  It is what it is though.

I've enjoyed the quiet of the morning.  I emailed Robert, and since he is 15 hours ahead of us his Thanksgiving was almost over.  I have enjoyed a cup of coffee, and now I am watching the parade.  Catherine has been sick (she does feel much better today) so Andrew and I have been camped out in the living areas of the house.

I am looking forward to heading to my aunt & uncle's house later today.  I am really missing Aunt Cathy today, and I can only imagine how her girls are feeling.  I am so grateful that we get to spend so much of our day with family.  I am thankful for so many things.  Life is full of so many blessings!

I just lost my mind

This was an extremely busy weekend.  It made it very difficult to feel in the holiday spirit, but we will get there.  I love Thanksgiving, and I plan to enjoy it.

We had a very nice lunch with my grandmother Saturday.  She never ceases to amaze me!  I was at the barn for our band fundraiser in the morning, and then again in the evening.  I also tried to get the house picked up since Andrew was having guests yesterday, and of course my in-laws are coming.  Yesterday I was up to make sure Catherine got off to work, and then did LOTS of house cleaning before heading off to the fundraiser...and this is where I just lost my mind!  I totally got confused about the time and was still sitting in my dining room when I was supposed to have been there ten minutes earlier.  Oh my goodness!  The day went along though, and it was fine.  As is always the case with this fundraiser though, even after spending four hours, I came home and basically spent the rest of my evening working on handling "issues" that resulted from it.  I even had to leave home at 8:30 last evening to drop something off at a house.  It felt like it would never end.

It seems as though losing my mind actually started a week earlier.  I went to do laundry this morning, and when I opened the washer, there was a load from last week still sitting there.  Ugh!  Everything obviously needed to be re-washed.  I wondered where several things had gone.  I can't imagine how this happened, but I guess it just shows I've had too much on my mind.

I am ready for a few days of family and fun.  Catherine is home sick today with a terrible cold.  I am hoping and praying that nothing more develops and she can still enjoy the week!

Ready to begin the holidays

It is the Friday before Thanksgiving...one of my favorite "we are in school" Fridays of the year.  We made it through this week, and now the time has arrived to think about the holidays...sort of.

The kids don't have swim this evening which is awesome!  Unfortunately, Andrew has to work at the hockey game, but even then he should be finished and home by 9:00.  The kids and I will be spending LOTS of time working on chores, but I am hoping there will be some TV sharing before bed.  Tomorrow I will be up early to get things going for our band fundraiser, then we have Thanksgiving lunch with my grandmother tomorrow.  I'll be back in time to finish the day's shift at the fundraiser, and will be spending all day Sunday working it with Thomas.  Andrew is having guys over to watch the Steelers/Bengals game on Sunday, so tomorrow evening needs to be some serious house cleaning.

Monday I will be traveling to norther Kentucky to visit some extended family, and will also need to spend some time at my church job.  I'll make sure laundry is done and things are ready for the week, because Andrew and I are leaving VERY early Tuesday morning to retrieve his parents and bring them back for the holiday with us.  By the time we get back the kids will be at swim, but I am looking forward to a few days of relaxing and hanging out.  Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday, and I'm so incredibly blessed to be able to spend the day with so much family.

Our lives are so incredibly blessed.  I realize I need to stop worrying about the things that "could" happen, and just enjoy the things that are actually happening!

Another step in the process

After school today, Andrew is taking Catherine to where she is going to school to sign her housing contract.  This school does not have dorms, but they do have a managed apartment complex that is adjacent to the school.  She is doing this early to guarantee she can get the room she wants, which is the cheapest of the choices.  Honestly, it's pretty reasonably priced, especially considering it is furnished.  This is all really happening.  My sweet little girl is growing up and moving away.  The thing about this living arrangement is that because it isn't a dorm, because it is an apartment, they aren't "closed" during holidays and breaks.  So my sweet girl could move out next August, and never actually come back home.  It just seems so hard to believe.  Somehow, the worrying in these years of life seem nothing compared to the worrying of the next years!

So blessed to have this quiet morning

I am again only scheduled to work this afternoon.  It is not yet 8:00, although I've been up for nearly two hours.  I am so grateful for this time this morning to relax and just allow myself some quiet time.  I am so grateful for the moments I get to sit here, with my sweet pup cuddled up next to me, and one of the cats snuggled up next to the pup.  These moments bring such a sense of calm and gratitude that I can't even begin to explain it.

The middle of another week

Yesterday morning, I kept feeling like it was Monday since I hadn't worked the day before.  By the tine I went to bed I was convinced it was Wednesday.  I literally felt like I had lived through three days!  Today feels like Thursday, but I'm not at all sad that it is actually Wednesday...early day!  My patience for the some of the stupid stunts by teenagers is just not there today.  I really don't want to hear how they "just don't want to work."  Not interested in hearing it.

I was very grateful I only had to work 1/2 day at the school yesterday.  I actually fell back to sleep in the morning with my sweet pup snuggled up next to me.  It was a peaceful way to begin a really long day.  After my time at school, I went straight to church and put several hours in there before our church council meeting started.  It was expected to be so long we actually brought dinner in for all of us.  By the time I finally made it home after the meeting it was 9:30.  I was exhausted.

It's going to be a crazy week as I try to finish up getting things ready for the band fundraiser, and next week Andrew and I are going to pick up my in-laws and bring them back for Thanksgiving.  I'm looking forward to having a break from work for an entire week, and I'm looking forward to family time!

I am thrilled to be home today!

I have no sub job today, and honestly I am thrilled!  I work the rest of this week, although tomorrow and Thursday are currently only afternoons.  I've become spoiled by the really big paychecks, but I am so very, very grateful to have today to accomplish some much needed things around the house.

Yesterday I was able to run a few errands.  In only a couple of hours, I was extremely successful!  My Christmas shopping is coming along very nicely.  Since we are hosting Christmas Day this year, I want to be able to enjoy December as much as possible, and having shopping done as early as possible is key to that.

I am enjoying my lit candle and the peace and quiet of this chilly morning.  I am very grateful!

G.G. is home

G.G. has been released from the hospital and is at home.  The doctor strongly wanted her to receive some home health care of have the family stay with her, and G.G. is flat out refusing.  My mother is frustrated and stressed.  I feel badly for her.

I was able to see Mom this afternoon at a family wedding shower.  A second-cousin on my dad's side is getting married in February.  My mother and grandmother were there, and I enjoyed getting to see two of my dad's cousins.  Family is such a blessing!

Friday has finally arrived

I'll be honest, that day I had off on Tuesday feels like FOREVER ago.  I had an evening obligation every evening this week, and I'm just tired.  Add to it the emotions of the week, and yikes.  And of course, there is a great deal of things that need to happen in the next two weeks as well.  I'm trying not to panic about the next couple of weeks.  Next week I'm only working two days, and while that is a much smaller paycheck then I would prefer, if that is the way it works out at least I can take solace in the fact that it will be much less stressful!

This evening, we have plans with friends, but they can't decide what time or where.  I'll be honest, with my current mood, this is annoying on a new level!  Are people coming to my house this evening, and therefore I should pick up and vacuum?  Are we driving somewhere?  What time is all of this happening?  Most importantly, do I have time for a nap?

Honestly, I wouldn't mind just taking the evening and being home, but we do have tomorrow evening for that.  I am looking forward to it!  Catherine gets off work at 4, and although I have a wedding shower to attend up near my hometown, I should be home by 6.  French bread pizza in the oven should take care of dinner, and we should have some family time.  We really need this, as it's been a frustrating week.  Catherine has the attitude that no one can tell her what to do, and I am beginning to resent that Andrew won't tell her not to speak to me in that tone.  I just feel really dumped on this week, as it seems I am still expected to take care of everyone and everything, even though I am working nearly full time.  And this doesn't even count all of my volunteer responsibilities.  That is why I am especially looking forward to a little bit of family time tomorrow evening before I start getting in gear on Sunday and taking care of lots of things!

I was doing okay until this evening

The evening my dad died, we were at parent/teacher conferences for Thomas.  I remember I ignored my cell when it rang, but when Andrew's rang and I saw it was my mom, I excused myself and went into the hallway.  Mom told me Dad was unresponsive.  She suggested I should get up there.  I told her we were in a meeting, but I would call when we left and she could update if I needed to head to the hospital.  I called when we got to the car and she said she couldn't talk, but would call back soon.  I remember we pulled into the driveway, and I told Andrew I wanted to sit in the car until Mom called back.  Somehow I just knew I didn't want to be in front of the kids when Mom called back.  Strangely enough though, when Mom called, I wasn't distraught.  Andrew was much more upset than I was.  I immediately went into "we need to deal with this mode."  I called my best friends Stephanie & Chad, notified teachers that kids wouldn't be in school, etc., etc.  I remember it all so very vividly.

This evening I had to go to work at the church.  I like working Thursday evenings because the choir is practicing so I'm not there alone, but the kids are gone for almost three hours because of swim so I don't miss family time either.  Anyway, when I got home this evening and pulled into the driveway, it was all too eerily familiar.  My head and my heart went back to that evening six years ago, and it was a Thursday.  For a little while this evening, my heart broke all over again.  Having G.G. in the hospital isn't helping.  After all, she is 90 and isn't going to live forever.  I'm emotional this evening.

Dad has been gone six years

It doesn't seem possible that Dad has been gone six years.  I am so incredibly grateful that I had 40 full years with him in my life.  I regret that my kids never got to know him before he was sick, but I will forever be grateful that they also had many years with him.  I love that Thomas especially, still tells me little things that remind them of him.  I miss him so much.

Mom is having a particularly rough day.  Her mother has been taken to the hospital this morning.  I feel so awful for my mom.  When her sister became ill two years ago, it was predominantly my mother who made sure Aunt Cathy was at all of her appointments.  It was mentally and physically exhausting for her.  Mom admits that she has not recovered, especially not mentally.  To have to deal with G.G.'s illness right now is especially hard on her.  G.G. is not being a cooperative patient and is accusing the family of lying.  My mother is so angry, and I feel badly for her.  I have a feeling she is going to have a particularly long weekend.

The day I didn't want was much needed

I really didn't want to be off yesterday, but I needed it more than I realized.  I had worked really hard over the weekend, and the house was picked up and laundry was pretty much done.  It allowed me the opportunity to stay on top of the house, and it allowed me some real down time to just kind of "be".  It also allowed me the opportunity to take a nap.  It's hard not to feel really good about life when my sweet pup is cuddled up with me as close as she can possibly be.  It was gorgeous outside, but also really cold, so it really was a good day to be inside and enjoying my day.  I would've been happy to work if there had been an opportunity, but I'm grateful I had the day for me.

Next week I currently have three days off.  I suspect I'll be able to pick up at least another job, but at the same time, I will allow myself to enjoy some time to get ahead on Christmas if I have the time off!

I didn't expect to be home today

It is an absolutely gorgeous winter wonderland outside, but that isn't why I'm home.  Yesterday afternoon my scheduled job for today was canceled, and nothing else ever came along.  I haven't had a day off since September 9, and I didn't want to be home today.  Andrew kept telling me to enjoy it, and normally I would, except that when I get canceled, I can't help but feel I am losing money.  I like what Andrew told me this morning though, "You can't change it.  You have a day off, so enjoy it."  Sounds like a plan.

First accumulating snow of the season

We had snow flurries on Halloween, but tonight it is really snowing!  It is sticking to the grass, although as of right now the road temps are still to warm for it to be sticking to the pavement.  However, the temperature is supposed to plummet overnight.  It's a little hard to believe that our windchills are going to be in single digits in the morning when it was in the 50's today, and I was walking around outside without a coat this afternoon.  I don't work tomorrow so a snow day wouldn't mean a loss of pay, but I don't think that is going to happen.  It's early for this much snow, but it makes things feel so cozy!

State soccer champs!

My high school won the Ohio high school soccer championships today!  I am so excited for the team and community.  Soccer was a big part of my life when I was in high school.  We were a powerhouse at the time.  We made two state-final-four appearances and were often ranked in the top ten in the state (and sometimes at #1).  We never could quiet get over the hump to make it to the finals though, let alone actually win.  The best part (in my opinion) is that the coach is a classmate of mine.  He was probably the best soccer player to ever go through my high school and played at the collegiate level.  I was a statistician for the boys' team all four years of high school, and I loved every minute.  I'm so proud not only of the team and their coach, but of how the community has supported it all!

Sunday morning thoughts

Andrew is at his parents' house.  One of his best friends lost his father, and the visitation is today.  Andrew will be home tonight, although very late.  Catherine has left for work, and Thomas is still sleeping.  The quiet allows many thoughts to go through my head.

Six years ago today, also on a Sunday, was the very last conversation I ever had with my dad.  He was calling from the hospital where he had been since the evening before.  I was in a big building, and the reception wasn't great.  That building was destroyed by the tornadoes that came through last spring.  I am somewhat dreading this week, because the dates all line up to the same days of the week when Dad died.  The problem with being a person who remembers so much is that not only do I remember those feelings, but it's almost like I actually feel them again.

I'm also going to be brutally honest here.  I am dreading Veteran's Day tomorrow.  My son is a sailor, but it is hard to feel as though we are a military family.  We know almost nothing about what Robert is doing these days, and it isn't because he can't tell us, but because he chooses not to communicate with us.  Sadly, in some ways, it is better this way.  His drama doesn't involve us, and this way we don't have to deal with it.  At the same time, we love him, and I especially feel for Catherine and Thomas who miss their brother.

I have much to accomplish today, and I am grateful for this quiet time this morning before we start another crazy week!

A Friday evening exactly how I wanted it

Yesterday evening turned into exactly what I wanted it to be.  I closed my eyes for a bit, although I never really took a nap.  The kids had swim workouts and then pool practice, and it was nearly 8:00 before they got home.  Andrew was home a little after 4, and we just hung out and really didn't do much until we started dinner at 7.  We made potato pizza for dinner, which we knew everyone would love.  We finally watched "It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown", and I loved that our family was all sitting together and enjoying the evening.  I can't even put into words how full my heart was as we all sat there.

It's been a really rough year for the city

This week, a City of Dayton police officer was shot during a drug raid.  He lived on life support for three days, long enough to donate his organs.  He was a 30 year veteran of the Dayton force, and the lives he saved with his donated organs added to the countless it was reported he had saved over the years of serving.  It's never easy to lose an officer, but this city has had a really rough year.  In May, tornados, including those at EF-3 and EF-4 levels, ripped through the region.  The north end of the city was hit particularly hard.  Andrew and I traveled through that area just a few weeks ago...five months after they hit, and it's still an unreal sight to see.  Then in August, the city was one of way too many this year that was the site of a mass shooting.  Now, a police officer was lost in the line of duty, unrelated to either of the tragic events earlier this year.

Neither my husband nor I are native Daytonians, but I'm eighth generation from a town just about 15 miles north.  My husband went to college in the city, and as the biggest city in our region, it's where we go for many things.  It's been a sad year for a city that is dear to our hearts.

It's been a tough week

This has definitely not been my most favorite week.  In addition to ALL of the other things that are happening, I've been in a tough sub job.  A teacher was out all week and had asked to have me so it would be consistent.  I knew it would be more challenging than normal, because he has really tough students.  They are all freshmen, which I don't mind, but while my husband is fortunate enough to have an absolutely fabulous group, these students are not.  These are many of the same students that were the reason I said, two years ago, that I would never return to sub at the middle school.  I had hoped maybe there had been some maturation, but clearly it is not nearly enough.  I am grateful to know that I am scheduled all of next week in classes where I should not be interacting with those who are making this week challenging.

Of course as I always say, being a Friday makes everything better!  And the really great part of it being Friday is that once I get home today, I don't have to leave the house again until tomorrow!  The kids have swim, but Andrew and I can just hang out, and maybe even take a nap!  I'll be able to do laundry, and band work, and cleaning, without worrying about what time it is and getting cleaned up in order to leave.  Even though I can't just sleep in until whenever tomorrow, sleeping in even three hours will be absolutely delightful!  Thank goodness for the weekend!

The day after the chili supper

Last evening was the chili supper fundraiser for band.  It's not my favorite activity.  I was there for 3-1/2 hours while my family was doing other things.  That's right, I got to spend my evening working at a band activity that doesn't even involve my children.  I'll be honest, it is one of the activities that makes me resentful.  It's so much better than it used to be though.  There are so many more parents that step up to help with things, and I'm so grateful.  The years where it was pretty much just me are still so clear in my memory. 

I'm dragging though, and it seems most students are this week.  I'm in all week for a teacher with a group of students I don't love.  I'm always grateful for the opportunities of extra income though.

Catherine and Thomas have started swim this week.  Catherine has realized her strength training class from this semester is really paying off and she is definitely a stronger swimmer.  Thomas is really feeling tired this week from the extra physical work of dry land and swim.  I am hoping his grades can stay up like they did in the first quarter.

Almost to the weekend for another week!  I'm grateful, but the school year is going so quickly!

The day after Election Day

Since yesterday was Election Day, we had the day off.  I'll be honest, it was absolutely wonderful to be able to sleep in.  I went to bed so early Monday night, and I was thrilled to get about ten hours of sleep.  I even felt rested for the day.

It wasn't really a day "off" though.  I did three loads of laundry, although folding hasn't happened yet.  Of course I needed to vote, then  I had to run to our former town and close our checking account (finally!), then swing by the furniture store in that town because my mother needs a new recliner and they have the best prices.  I needed to see if it was worth it for her to make the trip from her place.  I then headed to the mall area to deposit the proceeds from the closed account, and then needed to pick up a wedding shower gift.  My grandmother, aunt, sister, and mother are going in with me for a gift so I was in charge of getting it.  On my way home I did my weekly grocery shopping, and home in time to realize that in spite of instructions before I left, my children had spent all five hours I was gone sitting on the couch doing absolutely nothing...not even get dressed.  Then of course, they get irritated with me because they are "running out of time" to get things done, and aren't pleased that I still want crazy things like putting sheets on her stripped bed, or doing homework that is due today.  It's tough that Andrew doesn't get on them either.  He thinks I'm being too demanding.

After Andrew got home from voting, I left right away to go to my church job where I was for the next three hours.  I still wasn't finished, but knew the kids would be home from swim so I headed home.  That means going back Thursday evening again while they are at swim.  I made brownies for tonight's band fundraiser, but will still need to make two packages of corn bread before I have to be back at the school this evening to set up.  I don't have any kids performing at this evening's activity of course, but that doesn't really seem to matter.

Andrew has lost his car keys, and of course they are the only set we have for that vehicle.  He has a two hour meeting after school today, but Catherine needs the vehicle to drive to swim practice.  I can drop Andrew off at his meeting, but then will be at the fundraiser so he needs to find a ride home, and then find his keys.

All-in-all, life is pretty good.  All of these hours I am working are truly a blessing in terms of being paid.  The hard part is Andrew's reaction to things, but I know overall he is still a wonderful husband.  It's just a tough week!  And on the upside, the local election for school board went exactly the way we had hoped!

We will be hosting Christmas this year

Saturday when I was in my hometown, I stopped by my sister's house to drop something off.  The house was such a disaster area, I barely had room to walk.  I can not imagine living like that, but it is her house, she lives alone, and generally isn't bothering anyone.  I decided though, that she probably wasn't going to be hosting Christmas.  I mentioned to my mother that I assumed she would be hosting this year, and there was a less than enthusiastic response.  The dog that Robert left there last winter has done some very serious damage to Mom's house, and she doesn't necessary plan to take care of it until the dog is a little older.  I can't blame her.  I mentioned that I would be willing to host, although I seriously doubted that anyone would want to drive down to my house.  Mom called yesterday, and I was correct...my sister definitely doesn't want to drive down, but she wants to host even less, so Christmas Day is at my house this year.  I remember having to make an effort to slow down my racing heart when she told me that.  I truly am happy to do it, but suddenly it all seemed overwhelming.  I haven't had a school day off since September 9, and the next opening is November 18.  I also have the giant band fundraiser that finishes at the end of the month, plus a trip to get my in-laws for Thanksgiving.  Need the house cleaned before that, and then it is December, and aaaaccckkkk!

My goal is to try to slow down and focus on what really needs to happen (that includes grocery and laundry in the next 48 hours).  I want to remember to hug and kiss my kids, and just focus on enjoying each day.  Even thinking about that can be very calming.  I want to enjoy the next seven weeks, not wish it all away!

The end of marching band season

It really seems hard to believe that Catherine is finished with marching band.  Four years pretty much went by in the blink of an eye.  I hated that at the senior recognition on Friday evening she had had no one there except Andrew, Thomas, and myself, but maybe some of my family will come down for the swim recognition. 

Andrew and I attended their final competition Saturday evening.  I'm just not a fan of marching band, so we only stayed long enough to watch our band.  Overall I think Catherine is a little sad that it is over, but she didn't become terribly emotional.

Tonight are the marching band awards.  We've never gone because our kids have always missed so much swim by now.  However, I told her that she deserved to be recognized during her senior year.  Yesterday after wrapping up my two hours of Christian Ed commitments at the church, I spent another couple of hours shopping for tonight's awards.  I have more to do after school today, and then need to be back at school 90 minutes before it even begins to set up.  Wednesday is a fundraiser concert, and I'm hoping that my errand running today can knock out most of that as well.

Honestly, while I am sad about things coming to and end for Catherine, I can't be sad about the end of the season.  I know that swim is even more time consuming for her, but not for me.  I was thrilled with how she showed some leadership and took things very seriously.  Overall, the kids had a very positive season!

I'm feeling emotionally drained

I haven't slept well most of the last week.  I was amazed yesterday how I wasn't feeling tired.  And then last night, when my week was mostly finished, I felt exhausted beyond words.  Still didn't sleep very well though.

Senior night was lovely.  I really didn't get too emotional about it.  That might be because I was in "official duty" mode. 

I think though, I was really just suppressing my emotions, and that is why I felt so drained last night.  Today, absolutely every little thing has made me cry.  My sweet little girl is off to her final band competition today.  How on earth did we get here so quickly?

I also made a quick trip to my hometown this morning.  One reason was to support a lifelong friend who has opened a pop up shop for the holidays.  Another was to swing by and visit a friend who was having an auction at his house today.  We grew up together since the third grade when our mothers became very close friends.  His mother died eight years ago, and his father passed away last year.  He never married, and his brother moved away years ago.  He has decided he is going to leave also.  I can't blame him at all.

Driving around my quiet little home town this morning was rough.  I drove past my aunt's house, and the emotions of losing her this fall hit me like a ton of bricks.  She actually lived in the house I lived in when I graduated from college that is now owned by my sister (I rented it from my dad, then bought it from him, then sold it to my sister as she received her law degree right after I got married).  It also doesn't help that I was in my little hometown exactly six years ago today, also a Saturday, and it was the last time I saw my father alive.  Oh my goodness, so many little emotions created a big reaction in me today.

And I've also realized that I haven't been honest with myself about my son.  While I know Robert's choices are his own choices, and I'm not at all surprised by his choices, they are still hurtful.  Today was a day when I kind of realized just how hurtful they really are.

I'm so very grateful I had this morning to myself.  It's so much easier to process my emotions when I am alone.  I am so blessed in this life, and I never forget that.  Sometimes though, you just need to have a good cry.

The beginning of another November

There are only 61 days left in 2019.  I can't believe it.  I can't believe it has been twenty years since we were all trying to prepare for Y2k, yet here we are.

After the cloudiness and rain we've had, it seems weird to see the sun.  I am hoping that maybe I can get a few pictures taken of Catherine after school today.  Senior pictures are not a priority for her, and I am hoping maybe I can take a few myself just to have something.  Tonight is senior night at school.  I've both looked forward to, and dreaded, this day for years.  I am so proud of Catherine, and I look forward to her being recognized.  She has loved marching band, and it has been really good for her.  She is really going to miss it, and after four years it will feel very strange not having her around next year.  Tomorrow is her final band competition, and Andrew and I are planning to make the drive to be there.

I love the month of November.  Although it isn't quite as gorgeous as the month of October, it has Thanksgiving at the end, and that is always something to be excited about!