When it was decided that we would be hosting Christmas this year, I somewhat braced myself for my sister to make sure I knew how wrong I do things. I knew that things would need to be done a little differently than we had done them at her house, but was hopeful we could all be flexible.
One of the things I talked to my mom about was that I thought we should do more of a mid-afternoon "open house" rather than having a formal sit down meal. The only family members who really worry about making sure we have a formal meal is my sister and my in-laws. We can have a traditional meal on Christmas Eve with my in-laws, and my sister is making sure we have a traditional meal on the Sunday before Christmas at my grandmother's house. My mother and I discussed that by having something mid-afternoon my cousins who have evening commitments are more likely to join us, but it would be easier to have more of a finger foods kind of meal since it would be earlier in the day. And of course, I have a house full of people for the week so I can't just focus on nothing but the food for the entire day. Further complicating things is that my mother doesn't want to leave her dog for more than 5 or 6 hours, and it will take over 2 hours of that time just in travel...and more since she is most likely transporting her mother as well.
My mother informed me that invitations needed to be sent, so I ordered them and mailed them out this week. Sure enough, I've received several texts from my sister this morning. She's not flat out telling me she is unhappy, but her tone is clearly displeased, and she has told me that she's not sure she'll be there to exchange gifts since we changed the order of things. Ironically, if we had done it her way, we would do gifts at 2:00 and eat at 4:30. This way we are eating at 2:30, and will exchange gifts whenever everyone leaves...probably around 4. So it's the same time frame, just a different order. I even offered that she and Mom could come down earlier. I explained the only "set" plans were the food at 2:30, and that we were flexible about the rest. She curtly informed me that I was missing her point and she would do what she felt she had to do. I didn't even respond to that.
At first I was sad and starting to feel stressed. But then, I reminded myself that it will be Christmas Day, and I'm not going to let her attitude ruin the day. I hope she come and enjoys herself, but I can't control that. If she wants to spend the entire day irritated, so be it. I will not let her ruin my Christmas. It reminded me a great deal of my wedding day. She was irritated by absolutely everything I asked her to do, and my best friend (who was also my matron of honor) has told me she couldn't believe how calm I remained towards her. I remember feeling strongly that I was not going to let her upset me on my wedding day. And I feel the same way about Christmas. She can be difficult and make the holiday challenging for herself if she wants, but I'm going to do my best to enjoy the day and my family!
No comments:
Post a Comment